₦airaland Forum

francesco01:
You mumu oo. Must you bring religion into this?. Does the topic or the situation applies only to Christain?. Why must you quote the Bible?. And this practices is rampant among you Mumuslims, especially the Northern part of this failed country. Your god "Mohammed too, during his lifetime,he impregnated a lotta young and underage girls while leaving in poverty, before he was sent back into the pit of hell, which is where his followers too will be heading too, sooner or later. If we check you now, na one yeye and mumu man marry you put for house. Both of you will be totally useless to your families, nothing to show at all .Nonsense and ingredients.

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

chiol:
In as much as I support some of your points, you should be mindful of the fact that in this part of the world, there are no provisions for the aged by the government. They do not pay ordinary pension talk more of making provisions.

As you are enjoying your youthful age, also be thinking of your life when you get old. In Nigeria, it is solely your own children that can take care of you at your old age.

In Nigeria, family seems to be the only thing that is a bit constant. One can be rich today and poor tomorrow and vice versa. So, don't rely solely on being rich before having your own family. If you are up to 30- 40 and have a source of income, whether you have billions or not, try and have your own family.

Children grow very fast nowadays. If you marry now, in the next 16 - 25 years your children will be independent and even be helping you. Don't wait till your retirement before getting married. A stitch in time saves nine!

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

seguno2:
What terrible philosophy that glorifies poverty is this?
Societies work to NOT have many poor people, but you are talking about the poor will always be with us? What nonsense

SarkinYarki:
Marriage and child bearing is the greatest dream killer and vehicle for generational poverty in the world but people don't know

harsysky:
Life is a risk. like a reader commented up there, time and chance happen to people whether you choose to up your game or you choose to marry when not buoyant. If I had not seen a poor man who rose to wealth , and a wealthy man who became poor, I would certainly think a man has 100% influence on how their lives go .

The overall advice would be to have a source of income before dabbling into marriage, then get other sources of income to complement whatever cometh. At all times, pray without ceasing because real wealth isn't made, it is inherited from anybody. Take a look at majority of those who are billionaires, you would agree with me that they never believed they would be what they are now. If we all understand the way things work in this world, which isn't possible, we will be able to predict the future.

Abdulramana3:
Dating a girl lasan is expensive not to talk marriage

emmanuelewumi:
Children to help out keh, children that are still struggling to stand up on their feet. It is the expectation of help from children that makes it difficult to get out of the poverty cycle.


How about having a legacy, giving the right values and education to our children. Solid investments made should be able to sustain us at old age and also give a good head start to our children. Which will enhance generational wealth in the family.

A neighbour graduated 22 years ago from a polytechnic, his late father had investments in real estate and shares of blue Chip companies. The instructions given to the Trustees and executors of his will, was that half of the childrens inheritance should be given to the four children after completion of their NYSC. The remaining half should be given to them 10 years after graduation.

This young guy got shares in blue Chip companies and cash worth over N2 million in 1999 which he used in starting a construction company. Ten years after graduation the guy has built a Networth of over N100 million for himself. All these happened because of the headstart he got.

The Bible equally expects us to leave good legacy and inheritance for our children, not responsible to be a liability on our children.

merieam16:
Okay buh d truth is d poor will always b among u. at least u helped out dat wat matters

You can choose 2 remain poor by nt doubling ur hustle buh der some people hustle or no hustle dey er destined 2 b poor.Not everytime u see a poor person nd u say he or she is lazy or hasnt taken steps buh time nd chance happen 2 dem all. They will still av 2 get married nd do wat oda people do cos dey are still humans


ti o ban ri se, ma se pe padi e lo lè

harsysky:
Life is a risk. like a reader commented up there, time and chance happen to people whether you choose to up your game or you choose to marry when not buoyant. If I had not seen a poor man who rose to wealth , and a wealthy man who became poor, I would certainly think a man has 100% influence on how their lives go .

The overall advice would be to have a source of income before dabbling into marriage, then get other sources of income to complement whatever cometh. At all times, pray without ceasing because real wealth isn't made, it is inherited from anybody. Take a look at majority of those who are billionaires, you would agree with me that they never believed they would be what they are now. If we all understand the way things work in this world, which isn't possible, we will be able to predict the future.

Farki:
Women bring less to the table, expect more, yet have an easier time finding relationships. So a woman can afford to have several lists of demands, of which she may only satisfy a few or even none herself but will still have an easier time getting into a relationship because it's a buyer's market as far as men are concerned.

As a man can expect to be called stingy for not spending money on her while she is broke and jobless. We don't expect a woman to be our Davido and pamper us regardless of our economic situation.

harsysky:
Life is a risk. like a reader commented up there, time and chance happen to people whether you choose to up your game or you choose to marry when not buoyant. If I had not seen a poor man who rose to wealth , and a wealthy man who became poor, I would certainly think a man has 100% influence on how their lives go .

The overall advice would be to have a source of income before dabbling into marriage, then get other sources of income to complement whatever cometh. At all times, pray without ceasing because real wealth isn't made, it is inherited from anybody. Take a look at majority of those who are billionaires, you would agree with me that they never believed they would be what they are now. If we all understand the way things work in this world, which isn't possible, we will be able to predict the future.

uuzba:
Abeg, na God dey give person wealth O.
What about Joseph (coat of many colours)?
His brothers sold him as a slave.
He did houseboy work in Potiphar's house.
Mrs Potiphar got him thrown into jail.
He just remained there in prison, no light, no TV, No internet... No book nothing ...
Till God rescued him and he became minister of Agriculture for the whole Israel.

Joseph had a clean heart. Just keep your heart clean.

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

Poseidon000:
If this is your idea of recrimination, then you suck at it. Just so we're clear; it's been eon I last had a relationship. I'm comfortable, but I presently don't have a woman friend not to talk of a wife, so, your postulation is balderdash.

Let me pretend to believe what you said about your brother: that your brother have a different story, does not mean it's the prevalent case. In fact, his case is miniscule on the scale of 1/10 as obtainable in our society. Now, no sensible man will predicate his future on the probability of 'one' against 'nine.' That's akin to looking for a needle in a haystack. Not that there's no needle in the haystack, but what are the odd of finding it.

* No, I'm not God, but even the Christian Bible says: "A man who can't provide for his family, is worse than an infidel."

Just so you know, marriage give you this hustling mindset to be on your toes.
The highlighted is one of the major lies I aforementioned.
Let's put it into perspective. If as a bachelor you earn 4k per day, then spend 1k for feeding and another 1k for miscellaneous, leaving you with 2k to save for future investment that will avail you the financial laxity to venture into other enterprise or expand existing one, thus increasing your earning power to say 10k per day. At this juncture, you're to a large extent impervious to the cost implication of running a family. So, it's fine.

Now, let's say you got married with an earning of the same 4k per day. Remember you were spending 2k as a bachelor and saving the remaining 2k for the future. What you'll discover as a married man, is that; 4k will be barely enough to service the family, leaving you on the path of stagnancy, cause you'll be feeding from hand to mouth with no savings to venture into new waters of financial promise. Basically, you'll be retrogressing with the rise in inflation and graduating family expenses. In no time, you'll be wizened with dejection and suffering, consequently embroiling the innocent children you sired, in your self inflicted debacle.


Nuff said.

Prof0fficial:
"someone that wishes to be alone should remember his old age days"...

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

emmanuelewumi:
Children to help out keh, children that are still struggling to stand up on their feet. It is the expectation of help from children that makes it difficult to get out of the poverty cycle.


How about having a legacy, giving the right values and education to our children. Solid investments made should be able to sustain us at old age and also give a good head start to our children. Which will enhance generational wealth in the family.

A neighbour graduated 22 years ago from a polytechnic, his late father had investments in real estate and shares of blue Chip companies. The instructions given to the Trustees and executors of his will, was that half of the childrens inheritance should be given to the four children after completion of their NYSC. The remaining half should be given to them 10 years after graduation.

This young guy got shares in blue Chip companies and cash worth over N2 million in 1999 which he used in starting a construction company. Ten years after graduation the guy has built a Networth of over N100 million for himself. All these happened because of the headstart he got.

The Bible equally expects us to leave good legacy and inheritance for our children, not responsible to be a liability on our children.

Poseidon000:
Sup

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

2kurupt:
Wisest of words my brother. I see earlier comments before yours trying to make it seem like those in penury deliberately choose it or that the so-called rich folks did it with their strength.

fykes:
Yours is the most sensible comment I read on this thread.
Four years from today... The roles can be reversed, the op could end up the guy on the street, while the man he gave 10k could be his state governor.
That is life... I have seen it, I have witnessed it... It will still happen again and again.
Only few will understand though

pocohantas:
38 actually, but then, my mum is in her 40s and I am not even the first child. I hope that makes you sleep better this night.

Nah, the wait doesn’t have to be long. That is why we have so many tales of how some ex left you all and married 3weeks later.

I know that was a bitter pill to swallow. Use ChiExotic to push it down. Cutie

thesicilian:
Life is never black and white, there are many grey areas.
Some marriages actually bring good fortune in terms of opportunities, but that's usually when you get married to someone from a higher social class, or at least someone with vision and ambition, not a chronic liability.

merieam16:
exactly, my problem with most poor people is dey do nt kno wen to say full stop 2 child bearing.Like wat u said,dey av der way of doin tins nd perceiving life

J111333:
It's quite unfortunate.
Poor men tend to take solace in sex and in most cases, unprotected sex. This results in starting unplanned families and the poverty recycles.

MssRose:
Sir, back to back your posts has always been a blessing to me. We should live our youthful life to be an asset not liability to our children. That's where some parents get it wrong.