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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People (1268 Views)
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Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:20am On Aug 06, 2020 |
I am a Proper Igbo Person, so I can talk for only Igbo people here. At least, I know the Igbo Marriage Protocols to a very good extent. Same protocols may be applicable for the whole of Southern Nigeria, if not the whole of Nigeria, but let me not integrate my findings yet. .. Like I was saying, for proper Igbo persons, there is no need for any marriage proposal.. And this is the blunt truth.. Like, Is it even necessary?? Like Seriously, at what point in the Igbo Marriage Protocols timeline is the marriage proposal supposed to come in so that it would be a big surprise for the lady? Ooh.. It should be done long before the mention of Introduction? Then, if the man is serious that he wants to marry the lady, why don't he take the bold step of going for introduction. Or even if he is not ready yet but he has it in mind, he would just tell her “Me and my people are coming to see your people maybe next month or the upper month, so that we can do your introduction”.. Habbaaa!! If she said NO to the man's intentions, then she will give her full reasons., and both of them would discuss the reasons very well. .. One big disadvantage with marriage proposals (especially public proposals) is that, the lady can say No for no reason and walk away, it may be due to fear, or surprise, or shock, or unpreparedness, or any other reason that is Not the Rejection Of The Proposal, and the man would be so embarrassed, and he would have no time to ask her why she said NO. Another disadvantage with marriage proposals, is this insecurity issues which most often is the reason some men would rush to propose to a lady when he fully knew that he is not yet emotionally and financially ready to marry the lady in his life, but he wants to have the assurance that the lady would wait, and thus, the engagement ring.. Just look at the name. It sounds just like Pinning-down Ring. Anyway, the pinning-down thing, though filled with ideas of insecurity, and most likely necessary for people who are not yet ready or matured enough for marriage, shouldn't be a neccesary protocol for marriage. In Igbo Land, It had never been, and it still is not. All these surprise proposals and even romantic and dramatic proposals we see in the news are just people trying to go public with their private life's decisions and events, so that it would trend for the moment they were publicising it.. The point is, any intending marriage that went sour or got cancelled due to the fact that a marriage proposal was not done, or that an expensive diamond ring was Not used in the proposal, or that it was not done in public, or that a special proposal party was not organised for it, then that marriage was never supposed to be in the first place. Marriage Proposal is such an inconsequential and unnecessary protocol when it comes to marriage in Igbo Land, And it can't be an issue for any reason. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:22am On Aug 06, 2020 |
For those that would want to do Very Mighty And Highly Dramatic Marriage Proposals, it is entirely your choice, Just do your thing anyhow you love it.. All I am trying to say is that, It is not a necessity. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Peace666: 6:25am On Aug 06, 2020 |
This kinda long epistle sha 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by JeffreyD1(m): 6:28am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Well said 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:29am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Peace666:If this is long for you, then I wonder what you would do when you see long epistles. Anyway, I got your drift.. My little write-up scattered your paroles. I am a blunt person anyway. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by horlanrewaju11(m): 6:31am On Aug 06, 2020 |
For my city I have never witness 1 proposal, just impregnate her and everything will be fine... even for bride price they will just be like since you have accepted the pregnancy my son just bring any amount 3 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Dande55: 6:32am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Incoherent piece of shit 4 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:33am On Aug 06, 2020 |
horlanrewaju11:Hehehehe.. |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:34am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Dande55:You can “Coherent” it for me.. Good Day 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Dande55: 6:34am On Aug 06, 2020 |
BluntNigerian:Mind your business. Simple! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:34am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Lalasticlala |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:35am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Dande55:You should be telling that to yourself. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Dande55: 6:36am On Aug 06, 2020 |
BluntNigerian:No! To you. Jobless man 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:38am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Dande55:I am done with you. Good Day 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Dande55: 6:39am On Aug 06, 2020 |
BluntNigerian:Better! |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 6:42am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Dande55:Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People ............. GO AND DIE.!!!! Haaahahahhhaaahahahaa Aaaaahahhaahahahaaa.!!! 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by chatinent: 6:42am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Thanks for your opinion. Permit me to add few things: my case is quite different because any lady am dating definitely knows it's marriage-centered and she's expecting it. In my beliefs, dating is not sth trivial. Therefore, if I have to propose (well discreetly), it'll be a 'yes yes.' 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by ITbomb(m): 6:48am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Make we go see your parent is enough proposal 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by mazimee(m): 7:34am On Aug 06, 2020 |
The one wey dey vex me na the public marriage proposal. Everything is wrong with that stunt, I am yet to see the rationale behind it. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 8:01am On Aug 06, 2020 |
ITbomb:You got my exact point. Like, all the surprise proposal stunts are practically unnecessary. |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Unnerve: 8:59am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Proposal or no proposal, in public or in private, I'm just glad that some men are finally realizing they shouldn't kneel to give a woman an engagement ring bought with his money, simply because he wants her to marry him in a wedding dress he will buy for her, inside a venue he will pay for. Lol Then there's also the fact that he may not be the first man to have had sex with her. Sister has probably had at least two other guys who saw, felt, and explored every inch of her body before him. I'm a numbers guy, quite rational in my dealings, and I'm yet to deduce the simplest reason behind that whole kneeling facade. Maybe someone can help me. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 9:28am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Unnerve:SAVAGE.!!! .. Meanwhile, for the bolded statement, it is a way of making the whole drama more romantic, so as to increase the chances of getting a YES.. You can imagine that. We in Nigeria copied and swallowed everything hook-line-and-sinker |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Unnerve: 9:36am On Aug 06, 2020 |
BluntNigerian:I wasn't aiming for savagery, I'm really just trying to understand the necessity of the whole thing, lol. And this is why I like your topic, although I don't believe it's just among Igbo people. I went through those two threads about the men who stood to propose, and the common theme in the responses from females was the same, they want men to kneel. Why, is what I don't understand. What should be the motivation behind that sort of display given the Nigerian system of marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Unnerve: 9:40am On Aug 06, 2020 |
BluntNigerian:Lol, this photo below was even more romantic. The man probably gave her the ring on the day of their introduction, and she was the one kneeling... rightly so 2 Likes
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Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 9:42am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Unnerve:Trust me, ladies won't like this very topic. But I hope we realise soon enough that it is not every nonsense that we have to copy |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 9:43am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Unnerve:They will soon come to start correcting you. |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Unnerve: 9:46am On Aug 06, 2020 |
BluntNigerian: BluntNigerian:I have said what I said, who does not like it is on their own. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by descarado: 10:15am On Aug 06, 2020 |
Unnerve:How are you doing? At topic, please leave igbo people alone @op. And leave women alone too! When men can kneel down and beg for kpekus, is it this one that's a problem. Una wan emulate oyibo, why complain? Don't take one and leave out the rest. They said what's worth doing is worth doing well. U broke the code already by buying engagement ring. So complete it by kneeling down to propose . |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Unnerve: 10:30am On Aug 06, 2020 |
descarado:Men kneel to beg for kpekus? This is news to me |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by BluntNigerian: 1:32pm On Aug 06, 2020 |
descarado:You sound so funny. I don't want to say stupid. |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by roughdiamond(m): 5:29pm On Aug 06, 2020 |
Proposals and unnecessary wastes in the name of marriage is for simps. Impregnate her and settle the necessary culturally then enjoy your home. Though personally, I am not against whatever anyone does as it suits one but imposing it on another man should be a crime |
Re: Marriage Proposal Is Really Not Necessary For Igbo People by Emexicoman(m): 5:32pm On Aug 06, 2020 |
I am Igbo and I concur with you. The day I told my wife I wanted to marry her, we were both in my room, a few weeks earlier I had already told my mum about her and she said I shouldn't tell her cos She needed to some checks and fact finding, first thing she asked was "I hope she's not pregnant?. I told her she wasn't. Then she went to her community to check and you all wount believe my mum's immediate elder sister was married to the same family. Its been a jolly good ride my people. |
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