Salaam alaikum brothers and sisters.

I have a wife of around 11 years of marriage with children who has suddenly lost interest in sexual intercourse. She is submissive in several other aspects but when it comes to issue of sex, she loathes it like hell. She developed this feeling all of a sudden.

I have tried to engage her on this, but she wouldn't talk straight about this issue. She gives flimsy excuses always. We have even separated from our bed for several weeks now on this account, to see whether she will start developing the feeling all to no avail. I have told her that it could be jinn, she debunked it and refused to embark on the prayers. I am praying seriously about this. But she doesn't look concerned

At this stage, what exactly am I supposed to do. I don't want to marry another wife, and I don't want to be involved in extramarital affairs

My brother I don't even know what to say but I feel you need to keep talking to her or are u doing something she doesn't like lately, are you not that active like u use to be ..also I know child birth makes some women loose interest in sex .. if u can't hold ur body it's better you marry a second wife o ...Wa-in khiftum alla tuqsitoo fee alyatama fainkihoo ma taba lakum mina alnnisa-i mathna wathulatha warubaAAa fa-in khiftum alla taAAdiloo fawahidatan aw ma malakat aymanukum thalika adna alla taAAooloo

Tell her to open up , she seems to be keeping things from you... Talk to her ...it's not child birth , and also try to know if she did female circumcision

Danwakae:


Tell her to open up , she seems to be keeping things from you... Talk to her ...it's not child birth , and also try to know if she did female circumcision

Thanks for the response
But what's the role of female circumcision in all of these?

W/salam...I just have few questions to ask, u said u'v been married for the past11 yrs.

Does she work?

Are ur kids old enough to help her out with chores?
Or is she the only one doing all chores before and after she comes back from work?

I'm asking because this plays a very crucial role in a woman's life, before u know, she gets stressed n extremely tired, hence she wudnt av interest in intercourse because that wud become another hardwork.
The point is, u have to be more caring.

If that's not the case, then are u fulfilling ur responsibilities as a husband? If not, u av to change to make her happy.

If none of d first two, then gently ask her what u'v done wrong, or ask if there's something u are now doing that keeps chasing her away from u.

But it's more likely to be no 1, help her out with chores, reduce the burden or get someone to help.
Getting another wife won't solve anything in the long run, this is something u can resolve

sherylbakky:
W/salam...I just have few questions to ask, u said u'v been married for the past11 yrs.

Does she work?

Are ur kids old enough to help her out with chores?
Or is she the only one doing all chores before and after she comes back from work?

I'm asking because this plays a very crucial role in a woman's life, before u know, she gets stressed n extremely tired, hence she wudnt av interest in intercourse because that wud become another hardwork.
The point is, u have to be more caring.

If that's not the case, then are u fulfilling ur responsibilities as a husband? If not, u av to change to make her happy.

If none of d first two, then gently ask her what u'v done wrong, or ask if there's something u are now doing that keeps chasing her away from u.

But it's more likely to be no 1, help her out with chores, reduce the burden or get someone to help.
Getting another wife won't solve anything in the long run, this is something u can resolve

It has nothing to do with house chores. I have always made arrangement for house help, besides the elderly kids are really helping out a lot. I have taken time to find out from her, her excuses are always flimsy, like she is in her period (very irregular). I wouldn't know if it is true or not. She can come up with unnecessary excuses. She says, at our age now, we should learn to keep off sex for months or a year. Is this normal

Ajengogo:

It has nothing to do with house chores. I have always made arrangement for house help, besides the elderly kids are really helping out a lot. I have taken time to find out from her, her excuses are always flimsy, like she is in her period (very irregular). I wouldn't know if it is true or not. She can come up with unnecessary excuses. She says, at our age now, we should learn to keep off sex for months or a year. Is this normal

I don't think it's normal, get ur family physician or a therapist or a marriage counselor to talk to her.

Ajengogo:

Thanks for the response
But what's the role of female circumcision in all of these?

Female circumcision doesn't make them have interest in it... Because it has be removed, as such, they don't have any feelings or interest.

Ajengogo:
Salaam alaikum brothers and sisters.


I have told her that it could be jinn, she debunked it and refused to embark on the prayers. I am praying seriously about this. But she doesn't look concerned

She's obviously smarter than you. How could you be so superstitious to even think that lack of sexual appetite is spiritual .

Ajengogo:


At this stage, what exactly am I supposed to do. I don't want to marry another wife, and I don't want to be involved in extramarital affairs

I would have suggested that you should introduce her to adult movies and magazines, but you Muslim consider it haram. So, best thing is to force her to speak her mind. Maybe she is not enjoying it, which could be due to your lack of bedroom skills or her sexual health.

Ajengogo:

Thanks for the response
But what's the role of female circumcision in all of these?

The thing called female circumcision is the basically cutting the sensitive parts of the female body. The clitoris and labia or just parts of it.

Those that undergo it can't enjoy intercourse, imagine you as a man, you get the head of your joystick removed.

Your wife does not enjoy sex with you. She doesn't come or does not enjoy it at all. I am sure you knew this already but you did nothing to improve as long as you got your orgasm at the end.
After a while she will start feeling used and irritated at your selfishness and insensitivity and start avoiding you altogether.

You and many married men are guilty of selfish sex.

Just look at that egbon up there advising you to marry another wife because Islam allows polygamy.

So that you will end up sexually frustrating her as well

let me Bleep her and confirm

She could see a doctor

Ajengogo:

It has nothing to do with house chores. I have always made arrangement for house help, besides the elderly kids are really helping out a lot. I have taken time to find out from her, her excuses are always flimsy, like she is in her period (very irregular). I wouldn't know if it is true or not. She can come up with unnecessary excuses. She says, at our age now, we should learn to keep off sex for months or a year. Is this normal

You must be a rape victim

1Sharon:
Show her who is boss and behead her

Try to let her know the consequences of what she's doing to you. She might change. Or probably tell her parent about the issue

To your last paragraph....
Do not make haram for yourself what is halal. You can marry another wife.
However, try to sit your wife down and discuss what the problem could be. You can also ask one of her trusted friends to discuss sexual relationship with her and gather feedback.

walaka salaka sadaka
amin

Ajengogo:
Salaam alaikum brothers and sisters.

I have a wife of around 11 years of marriage with children who has suddenly lost interest in sexual intercourse. She is submissive in several other aspects but when it comes to issue of sex, she loathes it like hell. She developed this feeling all of a sudden.

I have tried to engage her on this, but she wouldn't talk straight about this issue. She gives flimsy excuses always. We have even separated from our bed for several weeks now on this account, to see whether she will start developing the feeling all to no avail. I have told her that it could be jinn, she debunked it and refused to embark on the prayers. I am praying seriously about this. But she doesn't look concerned

At this stage, what exactly am I supposed to do. I don't want to marry another wife, and I don't want to be involved in extramarital affairs

Jinn boo wa ni.. haba..


it's clear you have offended her some ways..

discuss the issue with her.. if not solved.. go to her family and explain...



don't make life difficult for yourself

if u were not a muslim this would have been a problem but u are so it is not marry another wife case closed.

[quote author=1Sharon post=93056864]Show her who is boss and behead her

Are you maaddd,behead her for what.chaii many are mad but few are roaming.
If you don't have any advice pls shut up

Better go and marry a young fresh wife that is active. This one is evening newspaper.

1Sharon:
Show her who is boss and behead her

Product of wayward woman

I think you should ask her about the birth control method she is on, if she is on any. That is an angle you can examine, some hormonal control reduces libido in women to near zero. If that is the case, advise is to switch to non hormone base methods and take it easy with her. With time she'd get back to her old self.

many infections causes this, see a medical doctor for advise or Islamic medicine expert

talking about this is Haram. u just av to pretend that all is well. I suspect another mallam wt 14inches is reaching places that ur 3inches can't reach. assalam alekun

nahzyla:
Your wife does not enjoy sex with you. She doesn't come or does not enjoy it at all. I am sure you knew this already but you did nothing to improve as long as you got your orgasm at the end.
After a while she will start feeling used and irritated at your selfishness and insensitivity and start avoiding you altogether.

You and many married men are guilty of selfish sex.

Most likely.

Op, have you ever sucked your wife's vagina before?

I'm curious as to how bad sex with you is for her to hate sex altogether

Na lie, you just dey find excuse to marry extra wife add to your existing fleets without chasing the already existing one

Hence the clause "She is still submissive" "with kids" etc

Marry another wife stop giving ursef unnecessary headache. Islam permit polygamy for issues like this

Some women prematurely go into menupause. Could it be the case with your better half. Menupause causes a lot of problems to a woman including sudden loss of interest in sex. The family doctor might be of help.