I am actually an old member so I will have to go incognito. If you think this is a made up story, that's your business.
Lest I forget, mods, pls don't take this story to frontpage.
I have been married for close to 7 years now. Its been one hell of a journey. In hindsight, I wondered how I got here.
I have supported this woman with the little I have. Life has been good to others but mine has been a struggle. I had to struggle to get anything I want.
To be fair to her, she was supportive during some rough patches in my life. Maybe I supposed it was because we were not married then, and she was playing the good girl.
If I had acted on my hunch then, I would have noticed her anger issue ( another topic) and moved on. She really tried in concealing it sha.
A year into our marriage, she became ill. Terribly ill. When test was conducted, she was HIV positive. I cried bitterly that night. My tears was not because I have become infected, I cried because I thought I was the one who infected her( I was sort of a G then and had numerous affairs).
We went to the hospital next day and a test was run on me and I came out negative. Did in 2 other places and was still negative even till date. The Doctors said we were discordant couple ( learnt that day that some few people on earth has natural immunity)
I was at a cross-road. Should I go or stay. Well, I decided to stay. The day I took her for counseling and first drugs, the counselor and doctors thought I was her brother. When they learnt i was her husband, they were shocked. They shook my hands and congratulated me for not bailing out. The counselor told me that several marriages and relationships has broken up in his office.

Well we moved on and even had a son whom I adore so much ( he is negative too)
I have been supportive to my family even though I wasn't so rich. I was the one who suggested
She buy a land when she got a loan from her office. Supported her in getting her MBA.
When I started my M.Sc, my father came down with stroke and I had to stop. His health gulped so much and I was even scammed by one fake traditional healer. Nine years later, I decided to try and get my M.Sc. unfortunately, my beloved dad left this earth and I had to stop again. tough luck.
Once again, the burial gulped much. Not because I wanted to be flamboyant but there were lots of roadblocks ahead to tackle.
I had to work on the house he couldn't complete due to his illness. Had to also pay several dues, levies and even fines.
My brother's wife and mine were find 190k because they didnt not come down to put their names in the women's record book in the village.
My brother's wife could be excused because she didn't know but my wife was told by my mum severally but she feigned busy cos of job.But the truth is she didn't want to go. I didn't take it serious too until my father died and the village insisted I must paid every lobo before my dad could be buried. I and my brother coughed out over 400k to settle all this before we started the burial proper.( not forgetting the house too).
Something happened during the burial. While I was busy running around ( looking like a mad man) thinking how to raise 190k to settle the wives fine, for a burial that was just less than a week away. My mother-in law called my wife and told her on phone that if we can't settle the issue, she should park her bags and leave next day for the city. I was shocked but couldn't respond because I was so engrossed with preparation.
Now to the latest development.
Immediately after the burial, the country entered into the lockdown phase. I was so financially drained but I was happy the burial has come and gone. But the downside was that my salary ( I earn commission,not fixed salary) was slashed into two. Since most of my clients were affected like most nigerians, my earning dropped dangerously. Then came the landlady.(most landladies are hell). All attempt to explain to her that I just returned from a burial that drained me coupled with the effect of the lockdown fell on deaf ears. I told her I was gonna give her 6 months rent and clear the rest later was met with stiff resistance. She bluntly told me if I can pay to the last kobo, I should leave her apartment.I shared the story with my wife and she claimed no money.
One day I was with a friend in his office and something just came to my mind. I asked her to help me check an account balance. Lo and behold, the account contained 1.8M. It was my wife account. I was dazed but I didn't tell her.
She is currently building her house while I am having gray hairs thinking of how to raise money for a new rent. When I mentioned I wanted to move from this nice neighborhood to a place on the outskirts of town, she immediately told me she will go stay with her mother as the place will be too far from her place of work and my son's school. She initially accused me of trying to separate her from her family by planning to move to the outskirts of town while I was only trying to find a not so expensive area I can afford for now.
Well, its painful but I can't even raise the required funds. I am just feeling down cos I might have to settle for a single room. Thsts what i can conveniently afford.I feel terribly depressed about this turn of events.
I wonder how it's gonna be be. I don't look down on those in a room apartment, just that I have never experienced this before.
My major concern is my son. I love him dearly. I can't afford to stay a day without seeing him. He is going to miss me too. Every morning he wakes up, he always look around for me if he doesn't see me when he wakes up. Its going to crush me leaving away from him( he should stay with his mum for now)
Tears are rolling down my eyes right now as I watch him seating down engrossed in his Disney junior cartoon program, oblivious of what is coming in the coming weeks
.

Things will be better. I am hopeful next year will be better. This year brought much pain and hardship but I am trusting God he will help me on my feet by next year but I don't think this woman will be allowed back to my life. Maybe im wrong, maybe I am not, time shall tell.
I just need encouragement from people who have weathered storms before.
.once again, mods, don't take this to front page

You feel betrayed!
So sad.

To be at peace with yourself, I think you should confront her about your findings.

Have you brought up the fact that you snooped on her account to her? If she can't be truthful and not willing to help with the rent, then she should accept what you can afford. My brother, you need your sanity and life first ooo.

This is terrible bro. Cheer up there is always a light at the end of a dark tunnel. Don't give up

Oh, dear sir
So sorry for what you're going through.
Your case is a touching one, dear sir.
May God heal broken hearts and give you wisdom to settle this as peacefully as possible.

What an ingrate and a Judas. Wow.

Bro, please ensure to confront her with your finding and how you feel betrayed because you can't assume in isolation without confronting and witnessing her trying to stutter up an excuse or lie.

The honest truth, in this case, is, head or tail, I'd advise you to assume your marriage is dead and buried and I'll tell you why.

Woman wey fit keep this kind thing from you must get pissed say you snoop around to catch her and most likely go assume say you go want narrate her around. The next thing wey she go do na to silent you forever.

That woman fit kpai you bros. Just accept say you dey thread on very deadly road now.

Do whatever you can to be there for your boy and trust me, you'd get out of this phase.

Life na phase bro. Whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

Stay strong and safe.

Shalom.

@Sunmars:

For you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY5QgpgrJP0

My dear brother, the Lord is your strength. Just believe that things will be better soonest

.

I'm sorry but your 'wife' is a greedy, ungrateful,selfish,self centered and annoying "thing".

I'm honestly really sad and angry .

What's there?, to assist pay for a house she lives in.

I'm � sure she'd have left if she was the one with the negative results.

Please Sir , anything for your peace and mind and sanity .Do it real quick !.
Your son will be fine .

Very tough! Kindly have another chat with her. Tell her the reason for your decision to move to a new and affordable abode (as if she doesn't know).

If need be engage her confidant ( that's if you know one) or her Pastor(if she is the church type). And don't forget to tell God ( if you also believe in Him).

I pray God will step in to help you out of this trying times in Jesus name amen.

Wow!! I can't even find the words.
But my man, God will open ways for you.

He definitely will.

Please, never forget your boy, please.

With every hardship cometh ease, that's what my holy book says.

Please stay strong. Importantly, make arrangements to have access to your son, anytime.

This too will pass.

This is painful to read, very painful, it is well with you bro, it is well.......

Don't leave because of your son. Explain to her how you feel and let her know your account balance and what she has in her account too. God will work through for you. Your home is safe

I'm sorry your wife doesn't seem to be as sensitive to the current situation in her home as she should be. Perhaps you could sit her down and tell her exactly how bad things are and how you are feeling in particular, it might yield something positive hopefully.

Tough times don't last but tough people do and in all stay strong, this is a phase that will definitely pass.

I should say something but i will rest it.

You will miss your boy. But you need to leave her and change environment. That way, you can bring back your sanity

Your story is so pathetic. I don't want to blame you but from the onset you made a mistake by marrying her(you risked your health at it). Yes, she wanted to settle down with someone and when she saw you she jumped at you being a weak man.

She keeps secrets with her mother but not you her husband that's to show how weak you were.

I will advise you to separate and move on. If you stay with her you might end up with nothing to show for in the later life. If you are the true father of that boy, she will by all means take him to you for greeting and you in turn take responsibility for the boy.

Please, move on, there are better days ahead. God bless you.

May such woman never come near my sons in future. AMEN.

You seem to be the type that wants to solve it all alone. Straightening the ends of the bedsheets to be perfect all alone.Did you bring her in on your financial issues? Do you discuss them with her? Pls I'm not trying to exonerate her but to inform you that some would get used to you doing it alone if you continued that way.

Some of you forget that you are in a partnership. Asking for help or letting her in on your finances doesn't make you less of a man. If she has money assign some duties to her. Don't carry everything alone. I didnt understand the she is building a house instead of we are. Hmm

Go and rent the single room and before you do, make sure you tell her what you found out. Pls don't even request 1naira from her. Such woman will tell the whole world your story and abandon you in your lowest.Your mil is evil

Go to the single room. Cry, pray and restrategize.visit your son any chance you get.

What won't kill you makes you stronger.


You will smile soonest. Hugs!

Na wa

Why do some women jerk while they sleep?

Maneq:
Why do some women jerk while they sleep?

Because there is no rest for the wicked.

Nobody wants to read the other side of the story?

It is unfortunate that most women are selfish in marriage. You are not alone on this. Most married men face similar issues. Women are not selfless like men in marriage. Most of their funds and other assets are usually kept away from their husbands. They usually carry their families and the children over the husband. I can tell you that her family members know about her assets and trust me, she can never use as the next of kin.

Most wives are only pretend to be humble and loyal when they realise that they have much to lose in the marriage if they go against the plan. Please note that i am not against all women because there some who are very selfless and can give all they have to grow the family. I prefer a woman to be financially empowered before marriage so that all parties will be able to reveal their true colours.

In conclusion, marriages in Africa do not favour men. The commitments of responsible men constantly put them on pressure but are least recognised when it comes to parenting sacrifices. You will hear most children singing the praises of their mothers as if the father was never important.

My simple life advice is that men should try to provide for the family within his abilities as most extra mile efforts are usually not worth it in the end. Nobody needs to tell you that the woman has already charted her future without your inputs. If all that you said here are true, your future is in your hand though can be very tough and painful especially where kids are involved.

This is a painful experience. Sorry man.

Based on my experience in marriage,

For a woman to be this wicked towards her husband and child means she can kill you.

Call the mom, raise hell and prove to them that you can't walk away without exposing their evil.

Stop eating her food and start planning your future without her.

You will not see shame, for the fact that you stood by her despite her health challenges, your heavenly Father will see you through.

As per your son, you can take your time to make plans for you guys.

Shalom.

Sometimes I wonder where you guys see these kinds of women, I also wonder how you people choose to stay with these kinds of bulllshit for years.

Jeez!

I would have walked away since. I mean, I'd just wake up one day pack my thing and leave, just like that.

These Kinds of women only appreciate you when you are long gone.

Its well !

Wickedness

The wife and mil are good cos money is flowing in. Once it stops they will start quarreling. Lol and she will come home begging.

It has happened and will keep happening.

I feel your pain brother, but firstly don't get yourself depressed. Marriage is spiritual and one can easily point the one with a wrong foundation. You have shown empathy towards your woman when she was down health wise and av tried to advise her getting a land for a secured future but I want you to be honest about this bro, Have you ever cheated on her or she suspect your are spending money on a mistress and you didn't come out clean? The truth is, if yes nothing pain a woman than that and she's just taking back her pound of flesh but if No I can say she's naturally selfish and insensitive.

Some ladies can be won with love and not with ego. Try talk to her inlove and tell her you believe she can't have money somewhere and she watches you suffer. Marriage is partnership. As I noted earlier if you are guilty about it please swallow your ego and convinced her you are for her alone and relax for awhile and watch her reaction.

Pls don't conclude the money in the account is for her but if she's honest she will mention it. And please dnt forget to pray to God to heal you and your home. Dnt give the devil a win over your family and honestly I know wat it means to be evicted from a home. I got evicted owing six months arrears June this year in my 3 bedroom apartment and currently putting up with my aunt n her family and I tell you it's never a good tale but it's just a phase and it will be over .

I pray you get a timely solution to this and your family won't be separated in Jesus name (Amen).

This story is giving me heartaches