Living With Inlaws! - Family - Nairaland
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| Living With Inlaws! by ajoks1904(f): 4:27pm On Aug 25, 2009 |
Hi all, My marriage is less than a year old and I have a permanent in-law that lives with us. She is a pain in the ass and gets really irritating. The worse part of the whole saga is the fact that she doesnt like it whenever we have a guest around, even my own siblings. Its really getting on my nerves and each time i discuss it with my husband,we end up arguing over it and I dont want it to cause a hitch for my marriage. Not forgetting that she has her good points too but its frustrating when you know there is no way out for now!!!! Am considering getting a househelp soon but can u imagine her kicking against the idea because she doesnt want anyone to share the tiolet and bathroom with her? She nags and complains each time a guest uses the restroom?? I know our culture kicks against chasing inlaws especially if they have been staying in the house before the new wife gets into the house!!! Please advice. Thanks |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by kufreabasi(m): 4:48pm On Aug 25, 2009 |
The best way out if this saga is, if your husband is financially buoyant enough, tell him to rent a room apartment for her so that she may not put asunder in your marriage. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by Ournaija: 4:53pm On Aug 25, 2009 |
Madam you need to apply plenty plenty wisdom. Sister-in-laws are not easy to deal with especially the rotten ones. Dont rush things the way they appear so that you wont crack you marriage. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by amosexy: 5:01pm On Aug 25, 2009 |
How old is she ? If she's ur blood sister how would you treat her or react to her ? Pray to God to give you the strength to condone her Ignore her and do your chores yourself if that is making her feel important Cook for her ,dont starve her but talkless to her If your family comes around ,dont let them use her washroom. Get a house help no matta wat. ALL THIS APPLIES IF SHE'S OVER 18YRS. Gooluck  |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by Hauwa1: 6:15pm On Aug 25, 2009 |
she has to work. why do u have to get househelp and create full house when she is there? what is she doing in your home in the first place? if she is there for holiday fine, if not she should be doing what u need househelp for or move. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by Tsiya(m): 10:25pm On Aug 25, 2009 |
kufreabasi: Are you out of ur mind? Rent a room for his mother because he want to leave with his wife? You are talking of a mother. The woman that carried him for 9months, feed him cloths him and wash his nyash for years. This is not an answer @ Poster. You should understand the importance of a mother to a Man. You should not understand estimate his love for his mother. Love her as much as you will love your mother. You have already identified one of the reasons. She dont like sharing toilets with other ppl. Perhaps you guys leave in a house where u and ur husband have a toilet inside ur room and ur Mother in Law have to content with the 'house public' toilet. This is understanding from her part. She must have played a very big role in her son's life and she resent the idea of being treated 2nd class to another woman. Tell your husband to get a bigger house so that she can get a Toilet for herself, if you get one for yourself. Most Nigerian women have preconcieved idea of wicked mother in law. Don't forget you will be a mother in law too. Take her as your mother. If you want to do something and she advice you, take her advice just like the way if your mother advice. Dont look at it as if she is nose diving into ur affairs. If your mother advises you, she is a caring mother. If you mother in law advise you, she is meddling, even if she is right. Wives . . . . our mothers are very dear to us . . . we can change wife but not a mother . . . |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by Akinagirl(f): 1:28am On Aug 26, 2009 |
Hauwa, her sister in law lived there before her. But I think you all should have set some ground rules before you all moved in and got married. Its really not fair to be crossing her space. So you all need to have a long talk about the way things are going to be. This should have been discussed a long time ago as to avoid your present situation. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by Outstrip(f): 1:30am On Aug 26, 2009 |
ROTFLMAO. Please oga go back and read it again. Even if it is his mother. Why should she move into the house of her just married son. If she was there before they got married she should have made arrangement to leave as soon as her brother got married. This goes for anyone. Unless of course it is a mother who is too old or ill to live by herself and has no other children to help out. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by rubi(f): 2:30am On Aug 26, 2009 |
If she is a giving you headache treat her with a cold shoulder, be mechanical when talking to her trust me less than one month she will start talking about moving If you are a xtain you can use prayer too and pray her out |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by chiejik(f): 10:42am On Aug 26, 2009 |
If she is a giving you headache treat her with a cold shoulder, be mechanical when talking to her trust me less than one month she will start talking about moving If you are a xtain you can use prayer too and pray her out seconded |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by kufreabasi(m): 11:04am On Aug 26, 2009 |
Tsiya: You must be crazy. Why dont you advice them that they suppose to have rented their own house before wedding. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by Junee(f): 2:10pm On Aug 26, 2009 |
Get the househelp that will stay in her room & use her bathroom. I mean if she can't help, why the hell is she there? Or have ur cousin or sis to come & live wit u (temporarily), so they can sleep in the same bed together also . . .lol. One day she'll get too uncomfortable & leave. Do it like u don't know its getting to her. Men don't see anything wrong when its their relative staying . . . there can only be a problem when its urs staying. Sisters in-law are more problems than mothers-in-law because they are usually not mature enough to handle issues & u'll be surprised that most occurences in your home is spread out amongst your hubby's relatives. This is a very sensitive issue . . . handle wit care @Tsiya Do u have prblems with your sight  |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by ajoks1904(f): 2:12pm On Aug 26, 2009 |
@All, Thanks a bunch for your advise. She is not my mother inlaw o! She is my sister inlaw, my husband's sister. I have tried to apply plenty wisdom and patience, I just kinda lost control and got really pissed when my siblings that had never been to my house came around and then she acted up the way she did. Not like l confronted her or anything of such nature cos I really respect my husband and am well trained from a yoruba home. Am thinking renting an apartment for her will work, will discuss that with my man. my major reason of sharing this topic is that I wonder how she will cope with my friends and family members when I have a baby cos am aware that you'll have a full house for the first three months after having a baby, Thanks once again |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by kufreabasi(m): 11:35am On Aug 27, 2009 |
ajoks1904: |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by kufreabasi(m): 11:38am On Aug 27, 2009 |
ajoks1904: thank God you came up to clerify the issue that, it's not your mother-inlaw. Never mind this Tsiya that couldn't see well asking me if i am out of my mind. |
| Re: Living With Inlaws! by janeobi2: 3:59pm On Aug 27, 2009 |
Tsiya: I think you should start a fresh thread to address the house on mother-in-law supposed preconceived idea of wickedness. Mothers are great people i agree with you cos i am one of them by God's grace. But, we should know that parents are like caretakers and children are own by God. You are a mother does not mean you own the lives of your children. Bring them up as ur duty and when they are ripe to live their own lives, let them go. Emotionally it may be hard but we hav no choice but to do the right thing. You don't need to run your son's marriage simply because u ar his mother, even the bible did not support that. Gen 2:24 says a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife, So i don't know why u are so upset abt the suggestion of renting an apartment for the mother-in-law as if it is an abomination. Unless the mother-in-law want to go on carrying his son in her womb, feeding him, clothing him and washing his nyash forever , lol |
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