Najdorf:

This feels more like social anxiety your describing here.

Being shy and not good on social situations does not mean the person is an introvert.

i was both shy and introverted so i wanted that shy aspect of me gone

Everyone Is just trying to claim introvert because of general attribute to it

I am neither introvert nor extrovert


I am Ambivert (possessing both introvert and extrovert attribute)

And I enjoy my life that way.

Nwoke01:

Dr isis, I've seen you here again. You are introverted too.

Yes Oo

proffmykey:
To say truth i find it difficult to start a conversation with females but i am a type of guy that play with females alot;i look for their trouble since i can't really start conversation with them so with time we will connect and the conversations will come from nowhere...I find it childish looking for female trouble growing up so i began to ask my experienced friends on how to converse with a lady,with that i learnt some things and also i go to google always to search on how to converse with a lady and it really help...Now i can start a conversation with a lady anytime,anyday but sometimes my introverted nature pulls me back not to converse with some ladies not that i don't know what to say...If you can practice what i did,it would really help.

Wow, i'll need us to be friends please. I need to learn... How about whatsapp?

proffmykey:
To say truth i find it difficult to start a conversation with females but i am a type of guy that play with females alot;i look for their trouble since i can't really start conversation with them so with time we will connect and the conversations will come from nowhere...I find it childish looking for female trouble growing up so i began to ask my experienced friends on how to converse with a lady,with that i learnt some things and also i go to google always to search on how to converse with a lady and it really help...Now i can start a conversation with a lady anytime,anyday but sometimes my introverted nature pulls me back not to converse with some ladies not that i don't know what to say...If you can practice what i did,it would really help.

please outline what you learnt,it might be of help to someone here.

In my case I don't usually talk but we I do everyone listen.....

There is a big difference from stage fright and toasting a lady....

Brachaa:

Urmm. Op. I think yours is very chronic. Im an introvert too but mine is not as chronic as yours. Though when i was much younger, I only had the challenge of facing or addressing a crowd but as time went on, I decided to work on it by joining the social clubs in my school which helped a little.

Years later I joined the youth meetings in church, the choir and other departments just to be out of my shell and it worked but didn't change my personality because I still end up keeping to myself after all that. And I think I like it cos that's who I am.

The only thing all those activities I engaged in has helped me do is not to be totally withdrawn from social life but I still I have my limits as I can't go all out like an extrovert. At least I can address a crowd boldly cos at some point I went into teaching professionally and in Sunday school where ministers sit under my teachings. So to some extent that has helped me work on my confidence level therefore I can flow whenever I want to, ruling out any question of shyness but I'm still withdrawn in a way and I'm cool with it.

There was a time I tried to force myself to become an extrovert. You know what? I got exhausted, irritated and tired that I immediately craved my introverted life and I naturally slipped back into it.
I dont fancy visiting friends, don't even have any. I don't like going out, I easily lose interest after a few trials and can stay indoors the next one year. So you can't really change who you are. Worse is, anytime I tried changing it, I always regret. People see me as not friendly and yes I'm not cos I get bored easily. Not my fault though.

Op, love your person and do you. Its more fulfilling.

How dare you write the story of my life like this without permission. Well minus the church part because I am a Muslim every other thing is true. I don't even check on my friends and it feels weird if they reach out to me

I'm actually reading my self

I'm an introvert as well. Almost everything stated here applies to me as well My neighbours mostly complain how they don't always know if I'm even around since I don't really relate with anyone like that.
The few friends I have are old friends from either secondary school days or the community I grew up in.
And female friends? They are extremely few

I am an ambivert....sometimes I display introvert-ish characteristics and sometimes I'm very loud (extrovert).....it works for me

hey why am i reading the story of my life here
well am an introvert which is great bt am working on the disadvantages of being an introvert
i didnt know who an introvert was until i was in senior secondary, when i looked back at my life, how i always left school once the bell rang, i never went for any inter house sport, hardly talked to any girls
a church member visited my sister yesterday, they are both choir and i was in technical, she saw me and was like is that ur brother, church we have been attending for three years now
but am working on my self, proud of the positive of being an introvert, and working on the negatives
am also a full phelgmatic and part melanholy

I really don't know my personality

Sometimes I'm soo loud
Other times I'm quite..

But I prefer been loud, I love the energy that comes with it.
When I'm in the mist of foolish folks, I draw to my shell and smile to whatever is going on.. cux I feel their conversation is unintelligent.

In my department, I'm known as a notorious noise maker,
Other times, same me can be so quiet like still waters..

I really don't know my personality

I was born introvert spend my secondary school days as introvert but life made me an ambivert now I'm getting tired of it been extrovert simply means you can't do without other people as for I just pretend to like other people nowadays not that i really care

Introvercy has been all negative for me, I'm quite good looking so this brings attention of girls to me but once convo starts, it becomes hard to maintain my part of the conversation and then, they end up gossiping. It's also cost me my job, I dropped out of college due to it.
My anger is something else, it burns so hot eh. Most times, I end up hurting loved ones emotionally when am angry This is really me

"No man was born wearing a mask, we all acquired one or some as we grow" - Lloyd


To understand this saying, you need to first see that the human mind was like an empty drive that got formatted over time by many different programmers through different programming techniques for varying purpose (call this the craft of wits, i.e 'witchcraft').


Going forward, you then see that what you've come to accept as your personality is actually not naturally yours but obtained (sometimes forced on you). The adepts call this element of being concerned 'liquid metal', once this substance is poured, it molds/sets... hence, we have what's called 'mind-set'. Just like when you have cement, aggregates and water come together in a cast to form what builders call concrete. Once this concrete (mindset) is formed and has cured over time, you'll agree it becomes extremely hard and in some cases almost impossible to separate.


This illustration should've explained clearly why you find it hard to become 'extroverted'.... It's not an impossibility tho



Lloyd

.

lordcyno:

Can you expatiate that social anxiety, please?

I know i wasnt born an introvert but a guy said something to me when i was in JSS1 and the statement is pulling me from the society up till now.

can you reveal what the guy said to you?

.

Amedino99:

How dare you write the story of my life like this without permission. Well minus the church part because I am a Muslim every other thing is true. I don't even check on my friends and it feels weird if they reach out to me

Lol .. I'm telling you. We (introverts) can be soooo like that .

Mods to push this thread to front page to help others that are depressed for being an introvert

lordcyno:

He said whenever i speak i always sound sick.
Whenever i want to talk to anyone since then i'll remember that statement

it's due to shyness.

dahgifted:
I have something bothering me, and i am seeking for matured and candid opinions.
There's a lady where i reside, she should be in her late twenties, she's married with two kids but the kids aren't living with them i guess the kids are living with their grandparents, she lives with her husband and there's a guy living with them not actually a family member of both couples but he was close to the husband, the husband knew him from childhood and was so close to his parents that was when he was a bachelor.
Now the main issue, the wife has been seducing me for quite sometime now, knowing truly well that i am an introvert and always staying indoor, she seems to be so obsessed with me, i haven't conversed with her before,i was always avoiding her i don't usually have eye contacts with her and she always try to get my attention, always acting weird whenever she sees me outside, she tend to speak more whenever she sight me and her mood usually change, she always happy whenever she cross path with me, yeh! i noticed something too whenever am with my mum outside, she'll come close and engage my mum in a conversation and at the same time staring at me. Note, this has been going on for two years only for me to get admitted into a tertiary institution this year of which i was so happy i have moved on and won't get to see her, but my joy was cut short due to Covid 19 now am back home with a strict headed face. I know she's all over me and she's isn't looking bad either but the issue is she being married and i equally have a high esteem for the husband hence my constant refusal to succumb to her obvious request.
Now the reason for me writing this, she now teems up with other married couples residing in the same compound and always gossiping solely about me as i don't give people my attention, they taught i was being proud, i noticed there behavior changed towards me, of which i know the said is the orchestrator of their sudden changed behavior towards me. What am scared of is that she might compromise things about me since i didn't succumb to her obvious request, women have such traits and everyone seems to hate me. Being at home always saddened my situation no money, no work, no friends and hatred from teens and matured people in the street and where i reside.
please pardon my writing am working towards it.

Let me start with this, stop giving a fvck about what people think of you and watch the situation change. Tell your mind repeatedly that you're not the one they gossip about ,as you don't owe anybody anything and they owe you nothing either, because nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it.

To a fulani man those who talk too much are seen as proud and he may even dagger you but to a Yoruba man those who doesn't talk are seen as proud.

Nonetheless, try to strike a balance . You should be hot and cold , not hot hot or cold cold . How can you stay without friends , baby boo ?. Being introverted helps you choose the right friends , woo the right babe because you're naturally observant and calculative. Drink some alcohol it will help you see life the way it is

To the Op and others, try and research Myers-Briggs personality test indicator and read up. You will gain more knowledge about personality and other related information.

Focus on the introvert personality like Intj, INFJ,... etc. One thing you should know, being the best version of YOURSELF is actually being your self rather than being what that person wanted you to be. Don't be afraid to walk alone most times rather than being desperate for another person's friendship that never valued you.

Remember, their number one basic principle upon which most introvert life revolves in, is RESPECT. Also, keep on developing yourself as the day goes by.

I will end with a quote by a wiseman or woman (Don't know who made the quote). It says:

What people do not understand, they fear. What people fear, they hate or try to control

dview001:


Let me start with this, stop giving a fvck about what people think of you and watch the situation change. Tell your mind repeatedly that you're not the one they gossip about ,as you don't owe anybody anything and they owe you nothing either, because nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it.

To a fulani man those who talk too much are seen as proud and he may even dagger you but to a Yoruba man those who doesn't talk are seen as proud.

Nonetheless, try to strike a balance . You should be hot and cold , not hot hot or cold cold . How can you stay without friends , baby boo ?. Being introverted helps you choose the right friends , woo the right babe because you're naturally observant and calculative. Drink some alcohol it will help you see life the way it is

bro! thanks for you input.... i have friends but very few as for ladies, they are least of my priority now, my top priority is making money. I don't know why i have this mindset ladies having nothing to offer other than sex and i stand to be corrected though.

ah...this is a lot of us

I'm not gonna say I'm an introvert due to the fact that I hate labels. Well,I really don't like going out. Before I visit friend,I must call them. I hardly even visit friends and my people at home complain about it. I can be among a single a lot of people and won't talk to anyone;just be quiet on my own. I've never attended a party before sef aside from those ones we attended as a child. I don't interact with my age mates in my compound sha. Well,i don't think there's any bad about who I am,I I just need to work in my confidence;that's all I need. I believe I'll get better when I get to higher institutions.

Heartlessbanker:
I'm not gonna say I'm an introvert due to the fact that I hate labels. Well,I really don't like going out. Before I visit friend,I must call them. I hardly even visit friends and my people at home complain about it. I can be among a single a lot of people and won't talk to anyone;just be quiet on my own. I've never attended a party before sef aside from those ones we attended as a child. I don't interact with my age mates in my compound sha. Well,i don't think there's any bad about who I am,I I just need to work in my confidence;that's all I need. I believe I'll get better when I get to higher institutions.

And why did you choose this moniker?

Brachaa:

Urmm. Op. I think yours is very chronic. Im an introvert too but mine is not as chronic as yours. Though when i was much younger, I only had the challenge of facing or addressing a crowd but as time went on, I decided to work on it by joining the social clubs in my school which helped a little.

Years later I joined the youth meetings in church, the choir and other departments just to be out of my shell and it worked but didn't change my personality because I still end up keeping to myself after all that. And I think I like it cos that's who I am.

The only thing all those activities I engaged in has helped me do is not to be totally withdrawn from social life but I still I have my limits as I can't go all out like an extrovert. At least I can address a crowd boldly cos at some point I went into teaching professionally and in Sunday school where ministers sit under my teachings. So to some extent that has helped me work on my confidence level therefore I can flow whenever I want to, ruling out any question of shyness but I'm still withdrawn in a way and I'm cool with it.

There was a time I tried to force myself to become an extrovert. You know what? I got exhausted, irritated and tired that I immediately craved my introverted life and I naturally slipped back into it.
I dont fancy visiting friends, don't even have any. I don't like going out, I easily lose interest after a few trials and can stay indoors the next one year. So you can't really change who you are. Worse is, anytime I tried changing it, I always regret. People see me as not friendly and yes I'm not cos I get bored easily. Not my fault though.

Op, love your person and do you. Its more fulfilling.

This is so me here!! And it's so weird cause I become very extrovert when I'm around people I am comfortable with(my family).

Also, I don't know how to make friends or will I say keep close friends.

My friends are online buddies.

This is Me

proffmykey:
Thanks OP...I am an introvert also but one thing is that i am free and outspoken with the right people,i.e.people i am use to;you can't say i am an introvert among my people but the problem is that i don't talk to strangers;it hard for me to make friends with people i don't know or have something that will bring us together unless something or a situation prompt our friendship,i find it difficult to make friends but i observed that such attitude help me in selecting good friends and not random friends......Also being an introvert makes it difficult to talk to girls but it has being diminishing to great length because i have some close female friends and also i have never be in a relationship.

Oh,let me also add that I lost my self-esteem while I secondary school. I was insulted a lot in my class,calling me big head and ugly monkey. It became my name amongst a certain group of people. I became extremely self conscious of my looks. I hated my face so much that I wanted to look like kiss Daniel and Justin bieber. It became so bad that started seeking approval from girls about my looks. But,of recent;I've started accepting my looks. I mean,I can't change it,its how I was born. I'm learning to love myself more now. I might not be handsome with pink lips and all,but I love myself. Funnily enough,despite my ugliness,I've never toasted any girl before;they all come to me. Ma list them:
Shade
Beatrice
Balikis
Esther
Bunmi
Precious
Zainab

InYourHead:
And why did you choose this moniker?

its who I want to become.