Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr I agree

Can you imagine this guy! You well at all? I knew you'd comment. I just sey make I check, behold, you don post.

Came here to read comments

GreaterFuture1:
IMHO, Most Nigerians have no business bringing another human being to this World.

Shut up

Please do not go into that fight with her or him. Yes am talking to you, because if you do, it will only get worse. I thank God who gave me a father that never laid a hand on my mother all the 30 and plus years I knew them together before daddy left this world. I have vowed to have a better home than my parents by the grace of God and am having it already.

BluntNigerian:
I don't know who needs to read this...
But then, if you are a parent seeing this, then it is very important that you read it, and understand it, and digest it.
...
If you (as parents or guardians) are always fighting in front of your children, then you are seriously abusing those kids emotionally.
..
It might not be any of my concern at the moment, but it will definitely affect me indirectly later in the future, when those kids of yours might get in contact with my kids.
And that's why it is giving me great concerns at the moment.
..
..
The other day, I was in my friend's house. One thing led to the other, and they started arguing. Before I knew what was happening, they were already shouting at themselves. I had to start listening in order to know where to come in.
Next thing I noticed was that their two-years old baby came out and started crying. On noticing that both of them didn't want to stop their shouting, the little baby started beating two of them with her little hands.
That was the time my friend's wife carried the baby, while still shouting. Baby continued crying.
I quietly took the baby from her, and then started trying to see how I still get to the root of whatever they were shouting about.
Anyways, they had always been like that, so I wasn't much bothered about them.
I always laughed at them whenever they quarrel like that, because, before you know it, they are already laughing again, over those same issues that caused their quarrels in the first place.
But then, their kids are not aware of all these.
They are seeing the people they love falling out of love, and they are broken by that.
..
Let's mind how we do things in front of our kids.
They see things differently.

That is the truth, in civilised climes, where parents fight often the government (social welfare) will take custody of the kid(s), cause such act often traumatised the kids emotionally. But most illiterate couple(Parents) don't know this. When you have issue with your spouse resolve it in your closet not in the presence of the kids

That's true.
The fight mustn't be 'always' for emotional trauma to take place. Even once alone is very ugly.

BluntNigerian:
I don't know who needs to read this...
But then, if you are a parent seeing this, then it is very important that you read it, and understand it, and digest it.
...
If you (as parents or guardians) are always fighting in front of your children, then you are seriously abusing those kids emotionally.
..
It might not be any of my concern at the moment, but it will definitely affect me indirectly later in the future, when those kids of yours might get in contact with my kids.
And that's why it is giving me great concerns at the moment.
..
..
The other day, I was in my friend's house. One thing led to the other, and they started arguing. Before I knew what was happening, they were already shouting at themselves. I had to start listening in order to know where to come in.
Next thing I noticed was that their two-years old baby came out and started crying. On noticing that both of them didn't want to stop their shouting, the little baby started beating two of them with her little hands.
That was the time my friend's wife carried the baby, while still shouting. Baby continued crying.
I quietly took the baby from her, and then started trying to see how I still get to the root of whatever they were shouting about.
Anyways, they had always been like that, so I wasn't much bothered about them.
I always laughed at them whenever they quarrel like that, because, before you know it, they are already laughing again, over those same issues that caused their quarrels in the first place.
But then, their kids are not aware of all these.
They are seeing the people they love falling out of love, and they are broken by that.
..
Let's mind how we do things in front of our kids.
They see things differently.

Thank goodness that at least your friend and wife know how to resolve their issues. The kids will eventually grow to understand.

The main worry are those couples who fight and daddy beats everybody in the house including the kids and refuses to drop feeding money, carries his bag and travels.

This is the part where I want every woman to have a source of income they can live on the independent of the man.

If parents who Always fight are abusing their children emotionally, what about parents who never got married? Their children were abandoned by their irresponsible father, and their mother single handedly raised them. Can u imagine the emotional and psychological problems the children would pass through? That's y the children of nowadays r inhumane.
To be married is to be responsible, if u don't want to be responsible in ur life, don't bring any child to life and abandon them with their mothers.

Peace

My parents are over 70, alive and still fight (abuse each other). They're both born again. The hypocrisy is too much that I swore to stay single than marry a born again. Infact i swore never to get married until i met a lady, the most amazing person I'll ever meet. It turns out she's married to this older man but she keeps promising me that she'll divorce him and be with me.
I'm so messed up now because I doubt that's going to happen. My problem now is I don't know how to move on. I don't know where to find someone like her.
I don't know why my life is such a puzzle

1b8m:
My parents are over 70, alive and still fight (abuse each other). They're both born again. The hypocrisy is too much that I swore to stay single than marry a born again. Infact i swore never to get married until i met a lady, the most amazing person I'll ever meet. It turns out she's married to this older man but she keeps promising me that she'll divorce him and be with me.
I'm so messed up now because I doubt that's going to happen. My problem now is I don't know how to move on. I don't know where to find someone like her.
I don't know why my life is such a puzzle

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

It is well.

Ybaby:


No single lie!!!

If shouting at eachother makes you Hot... choose battle day and leave baby in grandma house then go toxic 360 degree till the next mortal combat day but donot damage your kids.

Lol.. You're on point

It's a tiring exercise

1b8m:
My parents are over 70, alive and still fight (abuse each other). They're both born again. The hypocrisy is too much that I swore to stay single than marry a born again. Infact i swore never to get married until i met a lady, the most amazing person I'll ever meet. It turns out she's married to this older man but she keeps promising me that she'll divorce him and be with me.
I'm so messed up now because I doubt that's going to happen. My problem now is I don't know how to move on. I don't know where to find someone like her.
I don't know why my life is such a puzzle

Life no balance my brother. Reason I try to stay away from sniper.

Things I witnessed growing up. And still witness grown makes me believe in creating a perfect world for my woman and kids, no matter what it takes.

well i grew up in a abusive home

True Talk

1b8m:
My parents are over 70, alive and still fight (abuse each other). They're both born again. The hypocrisy is too much that I swore to stay single than marry a born again. Infact i swore never to get married until i met a lady, the most amazing person I'll ever meet. It turns out she's married to this older man but she keeps promising me that she'll divorce him and be with me.
I'm so messed up now because I doubt that's going to happen. My problem now is I don't know how to move on. I don't know where to find someone like her.
I don't know why my life is such a puzzle

Maybe you should focus on self development rather than looking for someone to "complete" you.

Just like my parents,they were always at each other's throats,which sometimes involves domestic violence like battering.

Paxxcarl:
well i grew up in a abusive home

You're not alone

Negative influence. The home is the first circle of socialization. If it’s not in good shape the child may not be in good shape except s/he unlearns the negativities.

oluwaseyi0:
That's why I'm a strong advocate of divorce if the difference becomes unresolvable and tension is always high in the home

But most religion will rather couple pretend all is well even when the best thing is divorce

A woman getting steady beating from the husband and claiming she is staying for her children will just die a useless death, a man that the wife has given hypertension but still staying because of what pastor and church will say will just die for nothing

See before I even start talking, I am an atheist, but let's look at things from a straightforward angle, divorce is just as good as staying in a broken home, I've heard of many children that were affected mentally and emotionally by their parents divorce, a good example is Kurt Cobain (not sure if you know him). That is why personally, I believe that parents should stay six years in their marriages before having children or they should live together to know if they are compatible before having kids.

TheWalkingMind:
Life no balance my brother. Reason I try to stay away from sniper.

Things I witnessed growing up. And still witness grown makes me believe in creating a perfect world for my woman and kids, no matter what it takes.

i swear! God knows I'd have literally plucked the stars for her. I just want to have what my parents didn't have. And not with just any kind of woman.

Nigerian parents don't seem to realize this and it irks the hell out of me.
They don't take domestic violence seriously in this part of this world..cause they know no government is coming to take their kids away when they misbehave.
Imagine your child waking up to a nightmare everyday cause he/she is scared of what dad might do to mom or otherwise.
Or your child not wanting to come back home from school cause the confinement that's supposed to be called a home SUCKS.
A home that's supposed to be a safe haven is the opposite of one.
It not only affects emotionally, but psychologically too.
Nigerian parents need to do better geeeeeeeez

SocialJustice:
Thank goodness that at least your friend and wife know how to resolve their issues. The kids will eventually grow to understand.

The main worry are those couples who fight and daddy beats everybody in the house including the kids and refuses to drop feeding money, carries his bag and travels.

This is the part where I want every woman to have a source of income they can live on the independent of the man.

Unfortunately Nigerian men (mostly noticed the trend with igbo men) don't want to allow their wives to be independent, my father did this to my mom, now the man is dead and we are here suffering, that is why anytime my grandmom starts whining trash about my mom, I will just be laughing in my head knowing that it's her sons fault.

1b8m:
i swear! God knows I'd have literally plucked the stars for her. I just want to have what my parents didn't have. And not with just any kind of woman.

You'll have it bro. But the patience is overbearing.

Did you make those couple to realize that?...I believe they need this advice more

A vicious cycle

Which can only be unlearned, when those kids come of age and embraces the kind of Love Christ Jesus told his disciples in John 13:34
"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other"

E no easy sha

BluntNigerian:


It might not be any of my concern at the moment,
but it will definitely affect me indirectly later in the future,
when those kids of yours might get in contact with my kids.
And that's why it is giving me great concerns at the moment.