SpiceyD2020:
Following

Good to have you.

duruZed:
Come see better story, where the desire book 1 dey?

Just check my previous post ahead, you'll find the link....happy viewing.

Adeola25:
I have really missed this story. Thanks for the update Op

Thanks for viewing.....don't fail to tag your friends.

Episode 2

The Struggle

Vera signed out for the day. She worked as a teacher in a secondary school. She shuffed the test scripts she had to mark into her bag.
She applied a light makeup on her face and exited the staff room.
"Hi Vera!" Kelechi, the Physics teacher in the senior department hailed.
"Hello, how was your day?" She asked.
"A bit strenous. Just that I'm angry with the bunch of idiots i have in SS3!" Kelechi lamented.
"What happened?"
"Can you imagine, i gave a test and nobody passed!" Kelechi held his waist.
"That's student for you, they never study!" Vera ventured.
"You know Anike?" He asked.
"The Head girl?" She asked.
"Yes! The girl is an empty vessel. Can you imagine, she copied from someone and also copied the person's name".
"Jesus!" She gasped and chuckled.
"I wonder what the principal saw in her sef, rumours has it that she keeps fellowship in the principal's room!"
"What kind of fellowship?" She raised an eyeball.
"Bed fellowship!" He replied.
"Abegi, you too like gossip!" Vera shrugged."See you tomorrow!"
"Let me drop you off!" Kelechi offered as he unlocked the door of his Toyota Audi.
"That will be nice!" She moved towards his car.

°•°•°•°•°

"My prick no fit standa again ooo" Harry wept.
"Una deh always make mouth but single power, una no get!" Okon yapped. "Common woman, una no fit..."
"Sharrap dia!" Peter screamed at Okon. "No be you, your wife deh beat!" Peter flared.
Udoh just stared at them without uttering a word. His whole neck was bandaged, the fall fractured his neck.
"God ko punish you!" Harry pointed to James. "I come save your life, but you run leave me!"
"If i die now, una no ko contribute money for my burial. I no fit leave my pregnant wife. My life deh precious!" James lamented.
"May Ekwensu put your mother in a family way, give am belle! Na your life deh precious abi. God in heaven will excalifate your brain!" Harry cursed.
"The woman nyansh come deh like bag of cement, as she fall on top me ehn come be like say the walls of jericho drop. I come hear BOOM for my head. Na God save me!" Peter said.
"Thankyou my brother!" Harry said.
"Una no even see wetin happen, Udoh been deh massage the woman! No be so?" Harry turned to Udoh.
"Na God ko punish una!" Udoh cursed.


"Whatta guan? Whatta bonga tinz a guan?" A tall man on military regalia marched into the shed.
"Wetin you deh talk, abi you miss road?" Okon asked the man.
"Where dem babylonians who hurt my queen. Make i fire on and chase them away!" He roared.
"Your madness na new one, this place resemble yabaleft?" Harry flared up.
"Na them be this!" Imaobong stepped into the shed with eight men and pointed at them.
On seeing the fat lady, the five men knew trouble had arrived on invitation.
"You all are vagabonds from the darkest pit of hell!' The tall man roared.
"Na your papa you deh talk that one give!" Peter said.
A powerful blow was sent to his face.
Peter fainted the second time in one day.
The men surrounded them and retrieved their armoured pistols.
Okon urinated on his trousers.
Harry and his friends knew their doom has come.
"Abeg oga mi!" Harry pleaded.
"I am Raster Black, and this is my wife!" The tall man pointed at Imaobong.
"Who among them punched you?" He asked.
"Him!" She pointed at Harry.
"No be me oooo, na him" He pointed at Okon.
"Kai! I swear, na abroad i come from. I no been deh Naija since last month!" Okon said, hands on his chest.
"Fall out!" The man ordered them.
They moved out of the shed to the open field.
"Ima, who pushed you into the gutter?" Black asked.
She pointed at Udoh.
Udoh just began sobbing.
"Na mistake, i been deh hol...."
A punch from Black graced his nose.
In the speed of light, James fled from their midst. And two men raced after him.
"All of you lie down!" Black cocked his pistol.
The three men wept, pleaded but to no avail.
"Abi, James weh been cause that wahala don jappa!" Harry wept.
The military men retrieved their belt and whipped the living hell out of Udoh, Okon and Harry.

°•°•°•°•°•°
Vera alighted from the vehicle and bid Kelechi good bye. She straightened her cloth and marched into the compound.
She met her husband sitted at the balcony.
"Hey hubby!" She smiled and moved to peck Smart but she was halted.
"Who is that man?" He growled.
She managed a bitter smile.
"That's my colleague! And that's not welcome!" She deadpaned.
"For the past one month, that guy has been dropping you!" Smart growled.
Vera sighed and walked past him. She noticed the door was locked.
"The key!" She faced Smart.
"Who is that guy to you?" He got up.
"You want to cause a scene huh?" She held her waist.
"Yesterday, when you returned, you reeked of a male perfume!" He pointed.
"Oooh! You've been keeping tabs on my scent right?" She breathed.
"Because you feed me doesn't mean you can mess up in this marriage!" He growled and threw the keys on the ground.
"Damn you Smart! When will this worrisome attitude stop. Our marriage is too young for this!" She warned.
Smart paid her no heed and left her.
She breathed hard.
"When will Smart ever trust me?" She unlocked the door and moved inside.
She moved into the bedroom and changed into a casual wear and moved to the kitchen.
"Gosh!" She muttered in frustration. Her hubby couldn't even help in the kitchen chores.
The plates they used for breakfast still littered the kitchen and he did nothing all day.
Somehow, she was feeling tired about her marriage but she still hoped on God.

Episode 3

One Chance

Uyo, AkwaIbom State

Inspector Timi nodded occasionally to the rhythm of 'Eminem' beats blaring from the car stereo.
Friday nights was always a relief for him. Atleast he had the weekend all for himself. Crime reports, brainstorming cases, call for rescue and life threatening scenarios were always the order of the week.
He had no reason to complain, the force has always been his first love.
The evening was cold, no one to share his bed with.
Bernice was out of town for some assignments she tagged 'important'.
Lydia, oh, Lydia. He momentarily forgot her. It's been a while they spoke. He had been galivanting with Bernice for the past months.
He felt a pinge of guilt.
Lydia herself never called.
Since she returned from her youth service programme, the have been in a state of incommunicado.
He grabbed his phone and made a phone call.

Timi: Hey Lydia my love.

Lydia: Are you for real ?

Timi: Yea i am.

Lydia: You vehemently refused to pick my calls and i knew for certain that a lady is involve.

Timi: Don't talk like that, this few months has been hell for me.

Lydia: Your excuses are always lame.

The call was disconnected.
"Shit!" He drummed his fist on the steering in frustration.
Lydia has always been tough!
"He hated tough girls, no! He loved them tough!"
What was he gonna do.
Deep in thought, he lost concentration and almost rammed into a truck on the opposite lane.
He screamed as he narrowly missed and skidded back into his lane.
The Truck driver cursed him, extended the curse to his generation.
Timi drove in bated breath.
He needed his bed, he had just escaped death in hairs breath.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Open this door!" James banged at his door. He screamed like one being chased by a ghost.
"Abeg come open this door, my enemies are on the way!"
Mirriam sluggishly got up from the bed, she winced in pains as she felt the foetus sharp movement. She dropped the handfan on the stool. She was perspirating so hard.
The window at the end of the room wasn't enough to permit adequate ventilation. No PHCN!!!
James had refused to pay bills, he claimed electricity wasn't important.
She staggered weakly and unlocked the door. James breezed in almost knocking his heavily pregnant wife.
"What happened?" She inquired.
"The battle weh i just finish now, no be small!" He grabbed a towel and wiped his sweat.
"I fought seven military men with my bare hands!"
Mirriam scoffed.
"You think say i deh lie? Go and ask. Infact you'll read it in news today".
Mirriam kept one hand on her waist and chuckled.
"I heard the fat lady that lived at the end of the street fought you!" Mirriam sat on the bed.
"Let me tell you what happened: as i been deh come house, the woman block me. She come deh hala me like say i be small pikin. She accuse me say i deh chop government money.
I be polutecian? Why you deh talk that kind nansense.
She come hold my cloth, deh tell me say make i give her the share of the national cake.
I come look am.
Madam free me, she no gree.
She come say i resemble thief.
I just tear am slap, later she come call her husband.
That one commot with big chest, come deh hala me. I slap am, give am punishment. The guy come deh cry, deh beg me.
His fellow boys commot deh show muscles, i just dash each of them slap. I scatter their brain, i enter bush go cut better cane come flog......"
They heard a bang at the door.
"You that bomboclout! Commot outside or i ko break this door!" Raster black screamed.
"My God! My God!! Why you deh run leave me!" James muttered.
"Who is there?" Mirriam asked in fear.
"Tell that your yeye husband to commot come at the count of TEN!"
Mirriam shivered in fright.
"Go outside and fight!" She told James.
"The fight is for the lord!" James shivered in fright.
She made for the door.
"Where you deh go?" He jumped up.
She ignored him and bolted the door.
He heaved a sigh of relief.
"One!"
James roamed his room looking for a place to hide.
"FIVE!!!"
"Return back to TWO na!" He begged.
"SEVEN!!!"
"You too fast na!" James rolled under the bed.
Under the bed was hot as hell.
He felt like he was in hell.
"TEN!!!"
"Chisos!" James exclaimed.
"SIX!!!!"
"Wallahi! You no sabi book!" James laid still.
BANG!!!
Mirriam jerked in fear.
"Ah swear! I ko kill the occupant of this room!"
BANG!!!!
"Please I'll open the door!" She rushed to the door and unlocked it.
"Where is that garri pourer!" Black marched inside.
Mirriam shivered in fear as she spotted two military men hovering round the corridor.
"Where is your husband?" Black asked.
"He is not i......"
"I will pull out your teeth! Where is he?"
"He isn't here!" She nodded in fear.
Black scrutinized her for a while.
"He isn't here!" She clutched her waist.
Black growled.
"If you ever see him, tell him he is a dead man. He won't run forever!" Black exited the room.
She breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed her throbbing stomach.
"Where are those bastard men why didn't they wait for me, i for matchete them!" James roared as he wriggled under the bed.
"Who be them! I no fear them!"
Mirriam sighed in contempt and sat on the bed.
"You don Bleep up! Nne you no for lie!!! You for tell them where i deh hide. I for matchete them. Them no sabi me. You for direct them come give me. Ah swear i for shed blood!" James kept on yapping.
"Bomboclat! Come and open this door! Abi you wan shed blood?" Black pounced on the door.
James shivered in fright.
"Nnne go tell am say na radio deh make noise!" James said in fear.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

Uyo, Akwaibom State

Vera jerked off her sleep as she felt a hand on her neck.
"Smart!" She gasped in horror as she sighted his bloodshot eyes.
"Where is my dinner?" He tightened his grip on her neck.
Vera felt her life slipping away slowly.
She pleaded with her eyes.
Smart left her neck and she released a deep breath. She rubbed her neck and left the bed.
"Honey are you out of your mind?" She asked in a calm disposition.
"You must be a fool to ask me such, you want me to sle...."
"Stop this shit! Why are you this unreasonable? What's clouding your sense of reasoning?" Vera stood on her heels facing him squarely.
This was getting out of hand, the man standing before her didn't look like the man she married.
No! He is the one, he wasn't change, even one bit.
Still that ill-mannered, high tempered smoky, foolish good for nothing son of a bitch.
"You want to eat do you?" She asked in bated breath.
Smart nodded and gave a bitter smile.
"In all my life, the only time the woman has the temerity to speak thrash to her husband is when she had gotten a better alternative!" He moved closer to her with a bitter look on his face. "Tell me, the guy is rich, he bleeps you better huh?" He traced her neck with his fingers.
She shivered in fear as he spat venom.
"God will heal you!" She made to walk past but he restrained her.
"Don't you dare walk out of me, i want to eat!"
She swallowed hard.
"I paid three hundred thousand today for rent! I don't have a dime in my account. There are some cookies in the kitchen, go help your self with it!" She offered and sat on the bed.
"When will you be getting your salary?" He asked.
"Next week, but i still have to pay the yoruba woman i bought our traditional attires from!" She added thoughtfully.
"Is your money, spend it how you like!" He shrugged and walked out of her presence.
She broke down into a paradox of thought.
"Did she make a mistake?
She had always hoped and prayed for Smart.
She had always been his patner despite his pugnacious, belligerent, combative attitude.
He was jobless, with no certificate after wasting his years in the uni.
Smart! Smart!! Smart!!!
Her peaceful sleep had been interrupted.
She dragged a table closer and picked up a pen and paper.
Maybe the yoruba woman could wait. She needed to set her priorities, her needs and wants.
Food was important, her DSTV bonquet had expired two months ago, her husband complained of his torn underwears. She could manage her few clothes for the time being, she wasn't a fashion freak.
The unseen Fifty thousand had already been bisected into part.
She prayed for the days to speed up their pace, she couldn't wait to see her account credited.
Maybe, She would get a suprise gift for her hubby.
She heard the parlour door open and closed.
She moved to see, her Husband had left. She rushed to the window blinds and parted it.
"Honey, its late!"
Smart ignored her and buckled his sandals.
"Ok! I'll visit the shop down the street and get some foodstuffs on credit!"
Smart froze in his tracks and smiled.
"That's my darling, but don't make that watery okro soup you made last time!".
She cursed under her breath and closed the curtain.
"Must you tell the whole world that i made watery soup? Better soup na money deh cook am!" She moved to the room to change her wears.

tbc......

Present keep it coming Noblejohn32, beautiful story!

Missmossy:
Present keep it coming Noblejohn32, beautiful story!

thanks Miss

Dis Smart na character ooo
Nice one op, thanks for the update

SpiceyD2020:
Dis Smart na character ooo Nice one op, thanks for the update

Thanks...stay tuned for more

Episode 4


Confusion.


Okon-Eket

Harry and his four friends alighted from the taxi and moved in unison to the school block.
"James, you don do Mr. Etukudo assignment?" Harry asked.
But James ignored him. He was still sulking on the previous incident he had with the military men.
There was a general devotion going on at the assembly ground, so they joined the crew.
"It is time to listen to the gospel of Christ!" A senior staff said.
"And we will call on a senior student to come and deliver the gospel!"
There was mumuring in the crowd, each of the adults contemplating.
"SS3! I'm sure we have pastors among you there!" The staff examined the crowd.
Very well, Harry marched on to the podium amidst claps and scream.
"Harry the Bishop!!!" The crowd kept on screaming.
Harry felt his head on cloud nine.
"My disciples!!!" He chuckled as he waved his hand.
"Who is your disciple?" Someone screamed from the crowd.
He ignored the person and began his sermon.
"You wan preach, you no carry bible!!" Another person screamed.
"If you don't shut up! You will never shut up in life!" He cursed.
"Great Nigerian Adults!!!' He hailed.
"We are great!!!" The crowd responded.
"Great citizens!!!"
"We are great!!!" They replied.
"What do you want your bishop to talk about?"

Silence!!!

"Talk about love!" Okon screamed from the crowd.
Harry nodded.
"My people, today we won't be using bible! I ko scatter and kabash the gospel today. If you don't gain something today, you will never gain something in life. This sermon na interaction. Who knows the meaning of interaction?" He asked.
An aged lady raised her hand up.
"Yes?"
"Interaction is a conversation within both parties!!" The woman said.
"Nansense!!! Arrant nonsense. What is the future of a country where people cannot understand and undersit spoken english!" He rapped. "I ask the meaning of interaction and you are telling me conversation and party. What are you converting, are you in a party?" He folded his hands.
"Mr. Harry!" A teacher called.
"Don't add Mr. to my name, I'm still an eligibility bachelor!" He squeezed his face and faced the teacher.
"Harry, i think she's correct!" The teacher said.
"What makes you think so?" Harry asked.
"You see, judging from the oxford dictionary definition of interaction. It........."
"Don't tell me that. We are not in an english class, we are in a bible session. Give me bible definition! Who else?" Harry asked.
"Make i try!" Okon forced his way through the crowd.
"Intefrection na......"
"It is interaction not interf....."
"Na the same thing. Interacation is the anionting of a bishop in paris saint german!" Okon defined.
"Oh my god! We have an enlightenment bloody serpent in the house! Clap for him!" Harry commanded.
Few people clapped.
"If you don't clap now, you won't clap again in life!"
More clapped.
"Why are the teachers not clapping?" Harry observed.
"Clap now or I'll call angels to donate slaps to all of you!"
The teachers jeered at him.
"Clap the number of years you want to live on earth!"
"Ah-Ah! What is it with clap? My friend preach and leave that place joor!" A woman screamed at him, obviously irritated with Harry's charade.
"Shut your soakaway mouth! How dare you address the man of God?
it is women like you that made God to invent leprosy. Iffa hear your voice again I'll destroy your temple and build it back in three days time!" Harry screamed.
"Harry we are running out of time!" The staff said.
Harry turned to him.
"Who made you a time keeper in this ministry?"
"Harry! We have other things to do!" The Staff screamed.
"Like what?"
"I'll have to report you to the principal!" The Staff threatened.
"Is the principal greater than Jehovah? Is he greater than my anionting? Oh! You want the principal to knock my bald head? Does he know my spiritual cerfititicate? Go ahead and report to the principal! If you don't go ahead and report, you'll never go ahead in life!" He threatened.
The Staff marched out in anger.
The students were growing impatient.
"Let's continue. I ko use a familiar portion, a portion that has resustifarized humanity in lokotomization. Never mind, the atristic benevolence of continual vaporosis. Ornamental destruction of life and properties is consistently the downpour of calaphonic ispices. That is the gospel in tongues" Harry fired.
"Harry! You ko kill us ooo" Someone screamed.
"Who is speaking? Who are you to talk when the chief ambassador to heavenly foreign resources is speaking!" Harry kept on firing.
"Your english will kill us!" Another spoke.
"I will not kill you, my english will not kill you. If you want to die, die in your father's house!" Harry said.
One by one, the student started dispersing.
"All of you should stop moving! I say stop!! If you don't stop, you'll never stop in life.you'll keep moving until you're tired of moving and you'll continue till you reach the gates of poverty.
Look at them, they are running from the gospel. God is abazapaly disappointed. If i was dancing naked here, the women wouldn't have gone. If a woman was stripping here, those masculine males will stay to watch. But now that I'm preaching, you want to leave. You all like football more than God. But that same God will use your life to play football!" Harry swallowed hard and did the sign of the cross and left the podium.
"No! Continue to preach!" Mirabel scoffed.
"The bible says where two or three are gathered God's presence is there. The bible didn't say one!" Harry said and made to touch her.
"Common leave me! Woman-bishop!" She catwalked past him and shook her slim hips repeatedly maybe to entice Harry.
"Mr. Udeme, I've heard your report, I'll have no choice but to expel you!" The principal screamed in anger.
Harry turned slowly to the direction the old man stood.
"I am not suprised, Jesus already said it!" He shrugged.
"Did Jesus send you here to disturb?" The principal added sarcastically.
"I no been deh disturb!" He said.
"I'll call the police to...."
"To do wetin, you want the police to crucify me as they crucified Jesus?" Harry flared up.
The awestriken Principal just stared on in wonder.
"Are you saul?" Harry asked.
"What kind of foolish question is that?"
"It is only saul that persecuted the christians! You want to persecute me right? Persecute me! Mr. Saul common persecute. Where are the high-priests?" Harry kept on screaming.
The Principal nodded and sighed.
"I pity you!" He said and left.
"I will bless those who bless you, curse those who curse you and pity those who pity you! Thus saith the Lord of host" Harry said.


tbc......

Nairaland ghost readers association (N.G. R.A) I hail ooo

Thank you Op for the update.
Harry is one funny guy.
Hmmm, Vera i pray you don't get hurt.

Episode 4 contd......

Uyo, AkwaIbom State.

Timi heard a knock on his door for the seventh time.
"Who could that be?" He thought.
He had refused to heed to the knock.
He had a nosy neighbour who took disturbance as her pastime.
"Maybe it could be her?" He ignored the knock and went back to bed.
His phone rang, he took the phone and swiped the green icon.
"Am at your door!"
His eyes popped open.
A miracle!
He rushed and unlocked the door.
Lydia stared at him for a while, pushed him out of the way and moved inside his flat.
"You thought you'll catch me with a lady" Timi said and folded his hands as he drew in heavy breath savouring Lydia's scent.
She catwalked round the sittingroom then settled on two sitter sofa.
Gosh!
Lydia was always his nemesis.
The peplet gown made no attempt to hid her features. Her figure-eight buttocks shot out proudly from the gown. Her killer hips was literally killing. Her legs, her boobs.
Hmmmm! Heaven have mercy!!
"Welcome!" That was only what he could say. He gave himself a mental knock, loosen up old boy! She's your girlfriend.
He moved towards her and pecked her on the chicks.
"You look stunning!" He complimented.
"You're stupid! Do you know that?" Lydia threw him off balance.
"I'm not stu....."
"No need defending yourself. Why did you keep me outside!"
'Here she goes again!'
"Sorry, i was in the to...."
"I don't need your excuses!" She dismissed him with a wave of hand.
She moved to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of fruit wine and a bottle of peanuts.
Timi just stood like a servant under punishment.
She opened the wine and poured a generous quantity into her glass and gulped down the content completely.
Timi breathed, and took a sit.
"You have a new girlfriend huh?" She asked mouthful of peanuts.
"I wish i have!" He nodded, anger brewing inside him.
"Am i not enough for you?"
"Your attitudes are just hell! You visited after a long while, you couldn't even reply my greetings. You marched to my kitchen, took my wine and....."
"What are you really angry at? I, not replying your greetings or taking your wine!" She asked.
"Everything! You're too arrogant!" He stamped his feet.
"And you're what?"
"Huh?"
"Describe who you are in three sentences!" She moved to the electronic stand and switched on the sound system. She grabbed an extension chord and connected her phone to the system port. She then opened her music folder and selected Beyounce tracks. She clicked on the play icon and moved back to her seat.
Timi's gaze was fixed on her ass.
Lord help me!!!
He crossed his legs.
"Yea, i asked a question!" She unbuttoned her gown and left it on her tummy revealing her sumptuous boobs in a pink bra top.
It is finished!!!
"You never checked on me, you left and made me feel like i had no body! You're a beast with no human feelings!" She spat out.
Yea she was right, since he met Bernice, he forgot about every other thing in the world.
"I'm sorry!" He pleaded.
"You're sorry? What are you sorry for?" She taunted.
He moved forward and knelt before her.
"For everything, I've been stupid" His hands roamed her bra.
"I'll always be by your side, come rain, come sun, till death do us part!" In a swift mode, he unhooked her bra.
"You just made a vow!" She gyrated to 'brown skin girl' by beyounce and Wizkid.
"And I'll stand by it!" He squeezed her boobs.
"Are you s......ashhhhhh" She threw her head backward and moaned.
He suckled on the nipples and drew the gown down to her ankle.
He silently prayed that Bernice shouldn't return at the moment.
She helped herself out of the gown while Timi unbuckled his belt releasing his weapon.
"Did you feed it?" She asked as she took the instrument and rubbed it head.
He groaned and shifted her panties to aid his entrance, he teased the vulva with his fingers till it got slippery.
Without warning, he slammed into her. She screamed in pains as her body stretched painfully to accommodate little Timi.
She bit her lips to suppress her screams as she stared at him with pleading eyes.
"Timi!" She called out in painful pleasure.
He grinned, as he continued thrusting.
She held his waist for support and threw her head backward in deep groans.
"Timiiiiiii!"
"Yea! Call my name baby!" He suckled her nipples.
In no time, she began screaming.
The perfect song for the perfect moment came up. 'Drunk in love by Beyounce and her hubby!'
Timi closed his eyes as he sailed in the ocean of delight and multiple pleasure.
What a delightful way to unite!!!

tbc....

lahrra:
Thank you Op for the update. Harry is one funny guy. Hmmm, Vera i pray you don't get hurt.

Stay tuned for more....thanks for following

EPISODE 5

Confusion 2


Okon- Eket.

"Good morning sleepy head!" Mirriam opened the blinds to let in sunlight into the room.
The rays hit James on his face and he squinted, used his palms to shield the rays.
"Na who you deh call sleepy head?" He muttered as he rolled off the mattress. He stretched his aching body, the bed which was supposed to serve as comfort was like a bag of pins. It sagged and lost it shape.
"Food deh?" He asked.
"Is that my good morning?" She replied.
He eyeballed her.
"It is time for morning devotion!" She grabbed her headtie.
"Which kind morning devotion?" He snapped.
Mirriam ignored him and knelt down.
"If you don't pray, i won't serve you breakfast!"
"Say wetin happen, for my house?" He flared up.
"Prayer is v......"

"In Chisos name!
Fada i thank you for the grass
I thank you for the plants
I thank you for the birds
I thank you for the animals
I thank you for the plantation
I thank you for the calamity
I thank you for the galamity
I thank you for an igbo wife!
Amen!!!!"
Mirriam stared at him in disbelief.
"I haff finish!" He shrugged and left the room.

-

"Landlord!" James hailed.
"Landservant!" The landlord replied.
"James! How many times have i call you?"
"Landlord wetin?" He asked impatiently.
"I ko pursue you commot for my house ooooo!" The man held his ears for emphasis.
"Oga land, eh too early to ask person money. I know....."
"Shattap! Madman. You don give your own share of the soakaway fee?"
James scratched his head.
"Soakaway don full! Every tenant don give money, you no wan give!" The man charged.
"Oga land, i ko vex give you!" James flared up.
"You deh vex, you wan vex give me? With the money wey you deh owe me? Five years house rent!" The man screamed.
"You wan shout make the whole world no say i deh owe you money abi?" James charged forward.
"I ko kill you!"
"You deh give me accusation abi?" James fired.
"You see that soakaway? If you no pay your own share! You no ko shit for that toilet!" The landlord left him.
"Wetin i ko carry your toilet do?" James screamed after him.
"Infact i ko stop you and your wife, una no ko shit for my toilet again!"
"Na your toilet?" James flared.
"Na my toilet! Na me get am!"
"That means na you get all the shit weh deh that toilet".
"God ko punish you!" The landlord cursed.
"That house no be you get am, na your papa house! But you deh form like say you fit buy one bag of cement!"
"My papa get house, which wan weh your papa get! Your papa weh be continental ashawo!" The landlord cursed.
"You deh call my papa ashawo? My father was a prominent man!" James fumed.
"You sabi how many house my papa don build?" The landlord halfscreamed.
James spat on the ground and left him.
"You spit for ground abi, you sabi say i senior you! I ko serve you quit notice!" Ogaland kept on screaming.
"I no fit argue with donkey! Your mouth deh smell!" James screamed.
"You deh mad! You sabi how many times i deh brush in a day?" The man kept on screaming.


James unlocked the door to his room.


"What's your problem between you and the landlord?" Mirriam asked.
"Ah swear, i ko kill that man!" James cursed and sat on a low stool.
She shrugged and left him inside, she switched on her flashlight to aid her sight in the dark corridor as she stirred the banga stew on the gas cooker. She used a small towel to grab the handle as she put off the fire.
She moved inside and dropped the pot on the locker.
She served the yam and banga stew in seperate dishes and placed it on a rubber table.
"Wetin be this?" James squeezed his face.
"Is food na!"
"This shit!" He was obviously disgusted.
"That isn't shit, that is banga stew!" She held her waist.
"What are you banging? Wetin be banga? This food weh resemble early morning madman shit!" He flared.
"James will you stop this rubbish!" She charged.
"You deh call me James abi? Na your papa be James!"
"Blood of Jesus! Is your name not James?"

"What do you mean? What kind of James are you calling me?"

She breathed.

"Na crime to marry igbo woman? Everyday banga stew, banga yam, banga bread, Achi, Abacha, Nni iji, Nni Akpu! No wonder i deh mess anyhow". James held his waist.
"So what point are you trying to make?"
"What point do you mean, what is the point! What are your melodramatic skills?" He fired.
She lowered herself to the mattress weakly.
"Have you seen the colour of my shit? My shit that use to smell like perfume is now smelling like motuary because of you!"
"Why do you like complaining?" She asked.
"You deh call me container?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean is what i mean!"

She breathed.

She decided to ignore him, she took a spoon and began to eat.
"You're eating shit in my presence! You deh chop for my presence!"

SILENCE!!!

"If you deh interested for this marriage, you ko go my village ko learn how to cook akwaibom food!"
He also grabbed a spoon and began to eat.
"Your food deh taste like liquid soap!" He said.
She nodded her head in pity.
"I pity you!"
"Ahhhhh! You deh pity me? You wan pity me?" He screamed.
"You're a nagging fool!" Mirriam said.
"Na your mother you deh call that one! Common afang soup, editan, atama! You no fit cook!"
"Common NEPA bill, house rent, electronics, you no fit buy!" She replied him in the same vein.
"You think say money easy? How many your fada get!"
"Rubbish!" She sighed.

°•°•°•°•°•

Uyo- Akwaibom State

Smart tapped his legs in the toilet as he dragged in the content of the pipe and puffed out the smoke.
Vera had gone to work, that was the only opportunity he had to smoke.
He was almost running low of his substance, he needed a refill, and he needed money to get them.
He felt confused about his future, he had wasted six years in the university with no certificate to show forth. Most times he wondered why Vera still loved him.
She never knew most of his secrets.
Yeah! He had many deadly secrets.
But now, he needed money.
His wife had advised him to learn a trade or acquire a skill.
Hell No!!!, he couldn't stoop low to be someone's boy-boy.
He wanted to be a boss on his own.
He never even had any business idea.
He sighed. Maybe he would move into spare part but.........No! The thought of business made him sick in the head.
He would acquire a skill, own his own workshop.
He grunted in anger as he exhausted his pipe. He inserted the butt of the cigarette into the WC bowl and flushed it.
He moved to the kitchen and opened the pots in it and sighed in anger.
Vera didn't make breakfast for him.
The smoke bottling inside of him wasn't helping issues.
He marched to the bedroom and took his phone, he saw eight missed calls on the notification panel.
His phone rang! He swiped it.

"Vera, you'll have to choose between your job and your husband!!!" He screamed.

Vera: What do you mean?

Smart: You mean you left for work without making me breakfast?

Vera: You were asleep, i didn't want to disturb you and i just drank tea and bread. You could make yours.

Smart: I am the head of the family, before you leave the house, you have to inform me.

Vera: Abegi!

Smart: Make sure you're back before three pm.

He disconnected the call.

tbc.....

More episodes loading.......

Episode 6

YAWA!!!

Onna- Akwaibom State

Lydia knocked impatiently for the fifth time on the gate. She winced and used her hands to shield the sun rays from her face but it seems not to work as her whole body heated up.
She cursed inwardly.
The previous day, she had received a call from her step-mother that her father was sick. Seven years ago, her Dad was diagnosed with severe arthritis and the ailment couldn't be properly treated as he frequently encountered life threatening bouts of sickness. Maybe, this was another.
She knocked again.
What the hell was happening.
She pulled out her phone to dial her step-mother's number then she heard the rustling sound of the inner bolt of the pedestrian gate.
Finally!!!
The gate was opened.
"I knocked for more than twenty minutes!" She stepped in.
Mrs.Mkpoikanna(her step mother) sighed in disgust and left her.
Lydia scoffed.
"You must be a fool! You purposely left me outside under the scorching sun!" She spat out. This woman was always annoying, her and her daughter.
Her step-mother turned and managed a bitter smile.
"You don't have any respect! and i won't reply a buffoon today" She moved inside the house.
Lydia sighed, nothing was about to change. They had been like cats and mice.
Right from when her Dad remarried after the death of his first wife(Lydia's Mother), the women had always been a pain in the ass.
She never even loved her right from inception, she felt insecured.
Her mum's place was about to be taken by an intruder, the woman didn't help matters, The hatred was both sided.
Lydia dusted her legs on the footmat as she moved inside the sitting room. She sighed in relief as the chill air diffused on her hot skin releasing an invisible vapour. She needed something to quench her thirst.
But first, she had to know where her Dad was? and his present predicament.

°•°•°•°•°

James yawned as he woke up from slumber, his wife was lying peacefully, snoring lightly but drenched in sweat. The room was dead hot.
Out of concern and love, he grabbed a table fan and flunged it in a to and fro movement hereby producing some cool air.
"I need AC!" He thought, he couldn't let his pregnant wife suffer again.
Mirriam stirred, and adjusted her body on the foam. Obviously, she wasn't comfortable. She grunted unconsciously as her baby kicked, maybe her sleeping posture didn't go well with the unborn child.
Her eyes popped open as she met James' sorry gaze.
She rubbed her bulging stomach.
"How you deh?" He asked.
She nodded and lay low again.
"Before next week eh, i ko buy new generator and big foam!" He counted his fingers as he spoke.
She scoffed. Old Story!!!
"You think say i deh lie?"
"Did you hear it from my lips?" She fired her's.
"I no wan make you suffer again, you too fine!" He added and rubbed her face.
"This pregnancy will soon be due, you haven't given me money to get anything for the baby. I'm just regretting why i resigned from my job!" She lamented.
"I get sure game for this week, once..."
"Abegi! Make i hear word jooor"
"You deh doubt me?"
"'I'm not!" She scoffed and turned her face to the wall.
He felt a rumbling sound in his stomach.
"Double your hustle!!!" She said.
"I get job weh i ko collect this evening, the job make die!!! Iffa finish am, i ko give you 10k" He said.
Story for the gods!!!
"Just believ...." the rumbling increase.
He remembered the soakway fees, the thought of it brought back the memory of the confrontation he had with the landlord.
"Who farted?" Mirriam held her nose, even the baby felt the heat as he bounced in protest.
"James is it you?"
He was already sweating.
"No be that igbo food weh you prepare? No be that abacha?" He protested.
Gosh!!! The room reeked of 'foreign polluted gas'. Even James covered his nose.
"This your mess will give me miscarriage ooo" She cried.
He just nodded like a fool and………
He released another fart, more powerful, more terrific. The room was filled with black smoke.
Mirriam was choking, she couldn't see anything again. James was sweating and shivering.
She tried to stand but she couldn't .
"Oh lawd if i survive this, I'll serve you forever" She prayed.
James ran out of the room, and there was peace!!!

°•°•°•°•°
"Where is Dad, i just called Dr.Abel and he told me that Dad has been transfered!" Lydia stood in the Kitchen's doorway.
Her step-mum was washing the dishes.
"Where is Dad?"
"He is in my nose, stupid girl, ebod- nkpo! You couldn't even greet, ah don blame you!" She continued her duty.
Fury built up, Lydia felt like doing something harsh to the woman before her.
"If my memory serves me well, you sent me a text about my Dad's health!" Lydia was struggling inwardly to maintain her cool.
"Why not google his wherabout!" The woman added sarcastically.
"If not that you're my father's LovePeddler, i would've beat....…"
The woman screamed like someone stung by a scorpion and turned to Lydia.
"You called me a LovePeddler?"
"And are you ready to beat me?"
"Say it again!" Her step-mother grabbed a steel paddle.
Lydia smiled.
"You're a LovePeddler!"
Lydia didn't see the weapon coming as it strucked her face hard.
She screamed in pains as the effect of the collision streamed through her facial nerves.
"Get ready to beat me now!" Lydia charged at her in rage and missed her timing.
The paddle struck her neck hard and tore her flesh.
Inspite of the pains, Lydia grabbed her and sent her teeths deep into her flesh.
Her stepmother cried in pains.

"Lydia! Stop this madness!!" Bernice rushed into the kitchen. She dragged her step sister away.
"Oh my God! Mum what happened?" Bernice asked as she spotted her mother bleeding through her neck.
"Lydia! Are you mad?" Bernice charged.
"One more word from you! and I'll ....."
"You'll do what? You'll bite her the same way you bite me huh?" Mrs. Mkpoikanna got up but her daughter restrained her.
"I know your plans, all of you, but it won't work. You want to kill my Dad the same way you killed my mum so that you'll claim his prop..."
"Shut your trap Lydia! You're always a bitter soul, always incorrigible. The very day your filthy hands...."
"She even called me a LovePeddler!" Mrs. Mkpoikanna added.
"Dad will hear of this! Beast!!" Bernice spat and led her mother out of the kitchen.
Lydia licked her lips, as she winced in pains. Her face was hurting severely. But she had a consolation, atleast she drew out blood, real blood from her step mother.
Atleast the score board will be equal.

•°•°•°•°•°•

James ran like someone being chased by spirits. He ran to the toilet located at the far end of the compound. To his utmost dismay and utter disappointment, he met the door locked with a padlock.
Oga-land never made empty threats.
He breathed hard, how was he going to maneuvere his way into the toilet.
He began a jumping session, his eyes were seeing double. He heaved and clenched his muscles tight to prevent the grand delivery of his master shit.
He was sweating, his body felt weak.
"Gosh!!! I ko die. Ah swear iffa survive this one, i no ko marry igbo woman again".
"Ewwohhh!!!!" He felt a stubborn strand trying to pop out of his anus.
"You can't win this battle!!!" He muttered inwardly and tapped his buttocks repeatedly.
His thinking faculty had shut down all what he felt was smoke.
Without knowing, he shed tears.
"Mama iku!" He called after a lady who came into the compound from the back route.
The lady was a tenant.
"Happy sunday!" He greeted.
"Today isn't sunday!!!" The woman replied.
"Na advanced greetings!" He said.
"Aaaaah!" He grunted with eyes closed as he battled with his anal muscles. He needed to restrain his strands of nuclear bomb. Releasing it outside, at this crucial moment will be a disaster.
"Please na who deh hold toilet key?" He asked, praying inwardly for a suprise answer.
"Na landlord ooo!"
"Ewoooh!" He kept his hand on his head.
An idea popped in his brain, and he broke into a race. His trouser had dropped almost to his ankle. He wore no boxers and his black hairy buttocks was open to the whole world.

"James is something wrong?" His wife on seeing his disorganized state asked.
"Everything don wrong oooo!" He grabbed a steel hammer and a screw driver and rushed out.
He prayed inwardly that Ogaland shouldn't be around.
A prayer he wasn't sure will be answered.
Landlord's apartment was directly opposite the general toilet.

°•°•°•°•°
Smart sighed in frustration, he had been watching NTA since morning on Television.
Unending News, senseless cultural documentary(s) were getting on his nerves.
Sometimes he wondered, why won't the multichoice operators leave atleast one better free channel for viewing. Why NTA?
Already the answer was vivid.
The DVD was faulty, so he had no choice but to continue 'enjoying' the hogwash on screen.
His wife wasn't back.
He thought of what to indulge himself in to whirl away time.
He wasn't a fan of social media.
A knock on the door jolted him.
"Who's there?" He asked.
"Na me!" The voice replied.
"Na who?"
"Abeg, you get wheel barrow?"
No doubt, that will be Uboho the gardener.
He moved to the door and unlocked it.
Smart gasped in delight.
"Oga smart! ko yad esit. abeg i been deh work for backyard, ame`nie wheel barrow?"
Smart stared fixedly at the huge biceps before him, naturally scrulpted. Sweat was tickling down, giving it a sexy appeal. A bulge formed beneath his trouser.
"Oga where ya mind?" The gardener screamed.
"Oooh! Wetin you ask? Oooh! I no get wheelbarrow!" He gave himself a mental knock, he thought the feelings had died. But No! It was resurfacing.
"Ok na!" The man left his presence.
Smart licked his lips in pure lust. His lascivious feeling was obvious.
He moved inside and locked the door.
"I'm married, i shouldn't be thinking about this". He paced aimlessly round the sittingroom.
His cock stood high and aloft like mountain kilamanjaro.
No doubt, he was bisexual but the picture of a well toned torso could drive him mad with lust.
He remembered Philip! He was six feet down.
Ohhh! He had his pictures somewhere.
"I could use that to self service!" He thought. "Atleast I'm not indulging in fornication, just self service, and when i jerk myself to the brim and cum, I'll be fine!".

°•°•°•°•°•°

James with all his might, smashed the padlock with the hammer.
He was loosing it, he didn't know how long he could hold it.
"Hmmmm!" He grunted, and stood in a funny way, maybe to obstruct the free passage in his anus.
"Ahhhhh!" He grunted again and knelt down and placed his head on the ground. As if doing worshipping a god.
"Abaah! James, you don turn muslim. Wetin you deh do?" A female tenant who passed by asked.
But James didn't reply, he concentrated on the task.
"Oga James!" The lady called.
He raised his head up in a slow manner and brought it down again.
"This one don craze oo" The woman said and left.
He felt relief inwardly and stood up.
He faced the padlock and continued the smashing.
"Who be that?" Landlord screamed from his room, the sound of James' handiwork had gotten to him.
He paused for a while and observed.
"I repeate myself in quosa! Who be that?"
Landlord and his strange tongues!
"I repeate myself in albania! Who is who at my toilet premises!"
James was at the verge of explosion.
"It is finished!" He cried as he couldn't refuse nature's call. A long strand dropped and all the flies got ready for food, as they hummed in joy.
Landlord screamed again.
"I repeate my self in espaniola! Who is at my shit department!"
"Kuku repeat am for hausa na! God punish the man wey lock this toilet" He cried.
A fierce battle began.
A battle between James and giant flies who wanted a first class taste of his excreta.
Bit by bit, it began dropping.
In anger, he rammed the door with the hammer.
"Wooyoo! Na you, toilet robber!" Landlord smiled.
James closed his eyes, the humiliation! He prayed for death at that hour.
But death held no fury like landlord's scorn.
"Pay rent, you no gree! Pay soakaway fee, you no gree. Now see wetin sharp-man don do. You shit for ground like small pikin, you poo for your cloth. Everybody come and see ooooo. See how fly deh throwaway salute give you. You don shame!". Landlord yapped.
James shed tears, real tears.
He suddenly found his voice.
"Landlord eh don do! Happy new year!!".
"See bastart! You deh wish me happy new year for july, walahi! Shit don collect your sense. See as you deh standa like primary one pikin!" Landlord screamed.
James began crying as other tenants tropped out to behold the scene.
The impact of the excreta pushed his trousers down, and the whole world saw his pink little cock.
"Ewooh!!! See my guy!!" Peter exclaimed.
"Peter help me na!!!" James cried.
Mirriam couldn't bear the humiliation.
Her cock was being displayed for viewing. Yes! Her cock, James cock was her cock too. But the private tool was on display. The tenant saw it, the females gigled.
"James my man!!!! See wetin you do yaself!" Ogaland jeered.
James fell to the ground.
"Go help am na!" Landlord said to Peter.
"I no fit, you no see shit for him body!" Peter shrugged.
"You deh deny your friend?" Landlord shrugged in disbelief.
"He no be my friend ooooo" Peter denied.
"Why you do your guy this kind thing na?" Landlord spread his hands apart.
"No be my guy oooo!" Peter denied the third time.
"Cock-a doodle- doo" A rooster cried.
This was getting spritual.
Peter denied Christ thrice!
And now, history repeated itself again.
Mirriam left and returned with a pail of water to clean up her fallen hero.
Peter followed her, maybe not wanting to break the bro code. But he was sure of one thing, James would have denied him more than ninety times.

tbc......

Happy Sunday!!! More episodes loading

I couldn't stop laughing while reading the updates. So Bernice and Lydia are step -sisters, I pity officer Timi from Ekiti. And as for Vera, it's seems she isn't okay upstairs abi which kind yeye love be that. James is a funny man I swear. Thanks for the update Op. More please

Adeola25:
I couldn't stop laughing while reading the updates. So Bernice and Lydia are step -sisters, I pity officer Timi from Ekiti. And as for Vera, it's seems she isn't okay upstairs abi which kind yeye love be that. James is a funny man I swear. Thanks for the update Op. More please

Thanks for the ginger....it means a lot to me.

Sorry people for not updating....just recovered from the anti spot ban.
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Ghost readers...show some love.

Episode 6

YAWA 2

Shame has one way in dealing with victims. James shivered on the bed, the previous incident had left him with a troubling fever.
He had over five wrappers covering his body and his wife looming over him. His friends were not left out, they were consoling the victims in their best ways.
"I ko kill that landlord!" James kept on saying, infact that was the sixteenth time.
"Sorry ooo" His friends echoed. "But we deh go school now, later we ko talk" Okon said, and they all made for the door.
"Make una no leave me na!" He cried.
"Your wife deh!" Harry added.
Mirriam only heaved. Most times, she wondered how she fell in love with a fool to the extent of marriage.
She should have listened to her father, her friends had warned her. But she refused.
Here was her husband lying on the bed, sulking like a baby denied of her favourite candy. Of a truth, she was getting fed up.

•°•°•°•°•°•
"Lunch is ready!" Vera screamed as she arranged the dishes on the table.
"Honie?" She called.
"Yes!" Smart replied in a hoarse voice, he was seriously in a task, a self-service task.
"Are you in the rest room? I'm starving!" Vera sat on the chair. She wasn't really good at waiting on a meal table.
"Give me time!" He kept stroking his dick with a vaseline coated palms, his other hand held Philip's picture.
"Philipppp!" He called in pleasure as he was almost reaching his peak.
Vera could wait, food could wait. Right now he had to cum. He had to feel like an overcomer.
He shook and leaned on the wall as he released loads of seed to the adjourning wall.
"Hmmmmm!" He breathed in relief and stepped into the bathtub.
"What's keeping you na?" She drummed the table in frustration.
"My friend eat if you want to eat!" He snapped.
"Maybe i should get a male friend for this kind of purpose" He thought.
Vera cursed under her breath. "This guy is annoying!"
She uncovered the food and dished her own share.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
Saint Stephen General hospital was quite busy, busy as any general hospital could be.
Lydia and Bernice alighted from the taxi and marched towards the hospital building.
"Wetin deh work this girls ooo" The taxi driver blared his horn in protest. "Una never pay me ma money!"
Lydia casted a cold glance on her step sister.
"Who flaged down that taxi?" Lydia asked.
"Who told you to enter?" Bernice fired in the same vein.
"You better pay that old man" Lydia said and left her.
Bernice sighed in anger and moved towards the driver, she counted the notes and handed a single five hundred naira notes to the driver.

"Hello!" Lydia greeted the nurses she met at the counter.
The nurses hummed for a reply.
"To greet una no fit, reply person greeting na wahala!" She thought as he made a contemptuous sigh.
"Please I'm looking for Mr.Umana..."
"Who are you to...."
"I'm her daughter!" She also cut her short, two could play this game.
"Bitch!!!" The nurse muttered and grabbed a large book.

"Hello nurses, I'm here to see my dad. He was transfered here, yesterday!" Bernice said with a smile but she maintained a reasonable distance from her step sister.
"Who?" One of the nurse asked.
"Mr. Umanah!" Bernice replied.
"Who....."
"Her daughter!"
"Shooooh!" The nurses almost exclaimed in unison.
The head nurse examined in shock.
"Are you ladies not here to see the same person?"
Silence!!!
"Let me in joor, I'm her, we are his daughters!" Bernice saved the situation.
"I'm his legitimate daughter!" Lydia would have non of that, she needed to prove her worth.
Bernice eyeballed her coldly.
"Family confusion!" One of the nurses shook her head.
"See all this discord is unhea......…"
"Spare me all those lectures!" Lydia waved her hands.
"Okkkay ooo! Ward 14, left wing!"
Lydia left the counter at once.
"Ok thanks!" Bernice acknowledged.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
"Class what was my decree?" Okposin the english master asked as he sighted four men hovering round the door post.
"Your degree is HND!" Okon said.
"I mean my decree concerning lateness!" The man said, obviously pissed up by the interruption.
"Your degree na HND na" Okon still pressed further.
"I've noticed the five of you in this school and your behaviour is so uncanny and your insatiable taste for voilence and disturbance is unbridled. I made a decree that once i enter this class, no man or woman should enter, isn't it?"
"Yes, eat is!" Peter replied.
"So what's your inconsequential excuse!" The man faced them.
"You think say na you sabi english pass? Deh well make i samah you better english" Harry thought. He moved forward with boldness.
"May i speak for my people, they are weary!" Harry requested.
"You are not their mouth piece, and if i may ask, what made them weary?"
"Hallelujah!" Harry said.
"Mr.man enough of your lackadaisical behaviour, go straight to the point, will you?"
"On befalf of the church, i greet you all. This morning, on a journey of rotational transgression, i came across a native alibi truncated by bombosolifacarism!"
"Oyoyo!" The class broke into a wild laugh.
But wise-man-Harry wasn't detered, he continued "in a lafigal menstaradalic obori, i cannn.………"
"Enough! Enough!! I say enough!!!" Mr. Okposin screamed.
"English don taya you to hear abi ? Aboby we die here!" Harry said.
Tears streamed down the poor teacher's face.
Obviously to him, Harry was a wasted sperm or maybe a man who was tired of life, expecting death and looking for people to go down with him.
"Go in!!!" The man said.
They all swaggered into the classroom.
"Today's class, we'll be looking at question tags! We'll ask questions and we'll answer them!"
"We'll ask questions, we'll answer them! Absurd!!!!"
"Sir i haff a question!" Udoh raised his hands.
"Yes?"
"You said that we will ask questions and we will answer them. Pls i want to ask: who are the we? " Udoh asked.
"Old man sit down! You seem to forget that you're in a school not a village meeting!"
"Far from that my lord!" Udoh shrugged.
"Are you mad?"
Udoh only nodded and sat down.
"Question tags is......."
Meanwhile, at the rear Harry was disturbing Mirabel.
"I love you na, mira, you are the rara in my life" Wise-man-Harry kept on professing. "If you can love me back, i promise i will die for you on calvary junction!"
"Make i hear word jare! When you were forming 'James bond' for me because of one ashawo girl, you didn't know!"
"Nooo that is past tense....."
"So I'm present tense now abi?" She added in sarcasm.
"Yes! even past participation!"
"Blood of Jesus! Harry, are you mad?"
"Wetin my madness come concern this love affair?"
"I told you countless times, we can't work, this relationship you're dreaming of won't work!"
"But you always love me na!" Harry was beginning to sound like a puppy.
"Just let me be, don't you dare disturb me again!" She picked her writing materials to get up but he restrained her.
"I'll report you to the teacher ooo!" Mirabel threatened.
"Iffu like report! We are adult, even sef the man cannot castigate me cuz I'm under castration!" He fired and romanced her laps.
She shivered uncontrollably. "Ha……rry stop na!" She pushed his hands off.
It seems the wise man was drunk. He let his hands slip into her bra.
"Are you mad?" She tried to pull off his hands but couldn't. The wise-man had found a dwelling place inbetween her boobs.

"You those serpentized spirit, stand up!" The teacher roared.

BUSTED!!!

Harry tried to pull out his hands but couldn't . His fingers were stucked in her bra. You know when satan wants to punish a man?
"You all a lustful spirit from the gates of hell!" Okposin was obviously mad in rage.
The whole class on seeing the scene couldn't withold their laughter.
Mirabel was already shedding tears, the wise man hands were still stucked in the bra.
"kuku commot your hands from woman breast na?" Someone screamed.
Harry with all his strength pulled out his hands but damaged the bra's hook. One part of the bra dropped and her boobs were standing firm like mount sinai.
"Sir with all manner of due respect, irrespective of the havoc that i caused, i suggest we continue this noble meeting!" Harry delivered his speech.
"Meeting kill you there!!!" Okposin screamed.
Mirabel without warning landed a very clean slap across his face, and he fell to the ground.
She packed her things and left the class in shame and rage.
The class kept cheering and screaming.
"You are not fit to be called a man!" The teacher shrugged.
"Na correct talk, i be chimpanzee!!" Harry knelt.
"You must be expelled, whether you like it or not. And I'll personally see to that!" Mr. Okposin left the class in anger.
"Breast man! Breast slayer! King of boobs!" The class cheered.

°•°•°•°•°•°
"My daughters!" Mr. Umanah smiled in delight as he sighted his daughters move in to his ward.
Both with a perfectly screwed face.
"How is your health Dad?" They asked in unison.
He tried to stand but the pains in his chest couldn't give him that opportunity.
"Sorry, sorry sorry"
"I'm not dying, not today" He gasped as he lowered his head to the pillow.
"How is mum?" He asked no one in particular.
Bernice had in mind to report the previous incident but decided against it. What her old man needed was rest, rest with a clear and stable mind.
"She's fine! She'll be joining us later she had to prepare your favourite dish, ekpangnkukwo!" Bernice dragged a stool and sat.
"Ly, what happened to your face?" He asked.
Gbam!!! The opportunity had presented itself.
Lydia, without mincing words narrated her entire ordeal.
"Liar!!!" Bernice flared. "Did you tell Dad you called mum a LovePeddler?"
"Jehovah! My wife!!" The man tried to rise again but he groaned and threw his head backward and lay still.
"You called my wife, a LovePeddler? Lydia how dare you?" The old man was loosing it.
"Dad, you just screamed at me huh? You're always against me. Your scale is never balanced when you take sides with.…………"
"Will you shattap! Your mother spoilt you!" The man roared.
Tears streamed down Lydia's face.
"What has my mum got to do with this? Dad you loved her but you're now defaming her memory!!!" She sobbed. "Look at my face, what if your precious wife blinded me? You wouldn't mind. For years I've been oppr………"
"For years, you've been playing the victim card!!" Bernice said.
"Good!!!! I'm leaving" Lydia made for the door.
"Ly come back here!" He called. "My daughter let's sett………!"
Lydia unlocked the door and slammed it.
She left despite her Dad's call.

tbc....

Episode 7

Broken!!!

Uyo, Akwaibom State

Most times, the real essence of love is determined by family. Yes, family.
But nothing could be more heartbreaking like hatred from that same family.
But most times, members…i mean family members tends to be egocentric. Not minding other people's views, beliefs. Worst still, family members are always diagnosed of egomania.
BUT, the truth if every one in a family had that feeling of egalitarianism. Every one could be on a normal slate, no one will feel threatened or abused.

Lydia exited the taxi, weak inside and bleeding. She paid the cabman and staggered to remain balanced.
She had shed enough tears to make her weak. Right now, she needed a shoulder to cry on. A shoulder to offer succor. Timi could be the right man, yes…Timi.
She paid for a public transport and soon arrived at his flat.
She paid the cyclist and forgot the change as she headed straight to his lodge. The cyclist hesitated a bit, watching her reaction.
Gosh!!! She left, left the change with him. That was pure luck, an extra change of nine hundred and fifty naira. He whistled happily and rode off lest the lady reversed her decision.

Kpom! Kpom!!

She knocked.
The door was slightly ajar, kinda strange. Timi wasn't careless.
She pushed the door slowly and went inside.
She heard shuffling of sounds from the room, her handbag dropped in shock. She moved closer to satisfy her curiosity. Timi dare not cheat on her.
The shuffling increased with a muffled groan.
Hell No!!!
She unlocked the door and barged inside the room.
Her eyes popped out wild and her phone dropped in shock.
A female butt was what she saw.
"You bastard!!!" She cursed.
Timi flinched, he left the drawer and stared in shock then suprise.
The whole room was scattered.
Lydia eyes trailed to and fro.
"Is she a white?"
"Why is she not moving?"
"This skin is not human!"

"Snap out of it!" Timi screamed. "That's a mannequin!"
She sighed in relief.
"Actually, a botique owner was appreh…………"
"Is alright!" She wasn't ready for his crime rant. Atleast he wasn't banging.
"I thought you left for Onna, how is your father……Jesus! Is he dead?" He moved closer to her and helped her to the bed.
"It is heavy to say, my Dad………"
"May his soul rest in peace……he was a str..."
"If you're done blabbing, i need to rest, why is your room in a mess?" She examined the room.
This lady was unpredictable!!!
"Ly, your Dad?" He knelt before her and looked into her eyes. He could swear she had been crying.
"What's special about him?" She fired.
He flinched a bit.
"Lydia, what's up with Dad, i mean his predicament?" He tried to explain.
"My dad is an asshole!"
"Tesema!!!" He gasped and ran a quick eye diagnosis on her. "You are drunk!!!"
"Yes i am! Drunk with hate. My family hates me, even the sperm donor sided with the enemy!" She screamed.
"Sperm donor? You're speaking in parables. You told me Dad was sick… your step, your mum sent………"
"Mind your tongue, she's not my mum!" She spat.
"Step mum?"
She nodded.
"So what's the big difference between mum and step mun? You are always difficult…" He was pissed.
"He insulted my mum?"
"Is she alive?" He rolled his eyes.
"He insulted her memory!"
He looked at her and shrugged. "Just that?"
"Look at my face, look at the marks……my step LovePeddler did it"
He examined her face closely, his face twisting into shock, suprise, confusion then concern coupled with the protective feeling.
"Why didn't i notice this before?" He thought. "You need first aid!" He sat on the bed and rubbed her back soothingly.
"Did you and……your mum…i mean your step mum. Did you guys fight over something?" He asked, somehow he felt Lydia must have pushed the woman beyond limits.
"I'm not suprised!" She sobbed. "This is not the first time, the woman treats me like shit. But I've always endured her cuz of the sperm donor of a father. But now if……" Her sobs escalated into deep tears.
Timi hugged her. "Is alright, you should just leave her for God!" He said.
His phone beeped, signalling a message.
"You see, you need to shower. I'll make noodles, or maybe you'll swallow akpu. I bought soup from an eatery!" He said and made for his phone.
"I'll just shower, i don't have apetite" She got up from the bed and moved to the shower. "And…" She turned. "This messy room needs to be arranged, i won't sleep in it like this!" She moved into the bathroom.
He nodded and fixed his eyes on the phone.
"My Dad is okay, and I'm coming tomorrow. I miss you!"
That was Bernice.
She called last week with a similar excuse to Lydia's. And now, she planned to arrive his door step tomorrow.
"What of Lydia?"
She didn't look like one who was ready to leave in a hurry.
He needed to divert Bernice.…Bernice? She wasn't a hard nut to crack. A nice lie will suffice.
He had to ask satan for an award winning lie, but first he had to delete the message.
"Are you done with the arrangement?" Lydia screamed from the bathroom.
He sprang up.
"Come and scrub my back!" She said.
Phew!!! He punced the air. This night won't be dull. Back scrubbing will no doubt lead to cunt scrubbing.
Oh! The cunt hunter!!!!

•°•°•°•°•°•
"Vera! Vera!! You chetaah!!!" Smart screamed.
Vera jerked in her sleep and jumped off the bed. "Why can't this man let me sleep in peace, i just returned from work na".
The bedroom door flanged open in force. Smart bounced into the room with her phone.
"You've been cheating on me huh?" His voice was suprisingly calm.
"What's ………" Her lips was ripped open by his fist. Blood spluttered everywhere.
Smart's eyes were burning with rage, pure rage.
She tried to speak but couldn't .
"Just look at! You spend all night chatting rubbish on whatsapp!!" He dragged her up.
"Sm…art! You are a bastard!!!" Was all she could mutter and it was enough to earn her a generous dose of punches.
Her cries literally reached the heavens and shook it every foundations.
"Who is Mr.Andy?" He barked. "He invited you for clubbing this weekend and you thought i won't find out!" He roared.
"You've been going through my chats?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
"You're a bitch! He even sent you twenty thou……"
"Believe me, it is nothing. Anderson is my colleague....."
"Yes! Colleague, i knew it. That's the new code name bah?" He released his hook and withdrawed his leather belt.
"Please, trust me. I'm not cheating. I've never slept with any other guy right from birth. That Andy has been disturbing me, i told him I'm married but he won't bulge. He sent me the money for my birthday!" She rapped.
"What of Skubido?" He asked.
"My course mate? He just wanted to see me. He returned from Pakistan……"
"What of MC.Kani?"
"Mc.Kani is a lawyer, he promised a job in his chambers, but………"
"What of Handsome?"
"Handsome? He's my youth pastor!" She was getting tired of the questions.
He lashed her back with the belt.
The pain was unbearable.
"Smart?? What have i done to deserve this? You're worst than me. I labour all day to feed you, yet this is ho.......ahhhhh....nooo.....please...... i won't do it again..... i won't chat on whatsapp again.....please.....bloood.....you've killed me oooo......kill me....." She kept screaming in tears as the belt landed on her in quick succession.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Okon-Eket

Harry and his friends alighted from the taxi. James paid the cabman and they bounced into the school compound.
"King of boobs! King of tits! Woman wrapper!!!" The whole class chanted.
Harry only bowed and took his seat adjacent Mirabel.
There was no teacher in sight, and the class was rowdy.
There's a spirit behind education in class room setting.
No matter the age bracket of people in it. Student are always student. With the familiar character of noise making.
Harry decided to utilize the opportunity. He strolled towards Mirabel.
"I'm sorry!"
Silence!
"I apologize!!"
SILENCE!!
"I'm deeply in teary regret!"
SILENCE!!!
"My body and soul don break, ever since that incident. I was capitalized in boobs sacrifice so in response like a remote i Bleep up. Not really my fault, your boobs were like remote and my hand were the robots. According to physics, a machine can't reject a remote control. So, in ernest, i tender my prodigy as a prodical madman to recapasite in ending utonomy. That i will desist from being a robot, i will strive to maintain the dignity of sexation. And you will promise to be of good behaviour so that the ghost of our ancestors will represent us in elcasis!" Harry went on his knees. "Please Mirabel, forgive the bishop!"
"You are really a big……infact a bigger fool!" She sighed in disgust.
Most student who viewed the showdown raised an uproar of laughter.

"It baffles me how adult behaves like kids……but I'm not suprised!" The Principal's voice throw everyone into silent mode.
He cleared his throat. "Your G.C.E is around the corner…anyways, i am here to inform you all that, this noble institution will be electing delegates into power!"
"PDP!!!" Someone roared.
"Power Different Pawpaw!!! Someone replied.
"Silence! Must you old men joke every time? Like i said earlier……the school has created six offices and the major office is the president!, vice president, secretary, taskforce official and two commissioners!"
The whole class cheered.
"But firstly, we'll need to elect the President before we move to other offices. The election will be a general which means it will comprise of the whole school and it will be slated for tomorrow. Now name your contestant for the office of the president!!!"
"Harry……Ekpe, Ayara, Henshaw!" The Senior student kept on shouting names upon names.
"SS3! Behave!!!. Now the people mentioned should fall out!!" The Principal motioned.
Twelve men filed out.
"You people don't need wome...."
"No…no!!!……we are not interested" the female folks chorused.
"Una place deh for kitchen" someone said and immediately the females attacked the man with deadly words.
There came a shocker!!!
The women in one voice screamed.
"Mirabellllllllllllll!!!!!!!!"
She was suprised and moved to the front.
"Ok…Ok…Ok" The Principal tried to control the situation.
"Now let's see, Mathias!… …… How many of you want this able-body man to be your candidate for the elections" He paused to count. "Please raise your hands and move outside, you only nominate once!"
"7 out 95! Go to your seat!"
He repeated the process for other contestants.
"Mirabel! How many of you want this pretty lady to be your cand....."
"Me, me, me!" All the women raised their hands up.
"37out of 74!" That's half.
"Harry......"
"Bishop! Bishop!! Bishop!!! Prof!!!! Garri!!!! Lord of Boobs!!!" The class cheered and drummed the desk.
Really Harry was the man of the people.
"Allow me to talk na, How many of you wants Udeme to be……"
The principal eyes popped out.
There was a tally.
Mirabel~ 37
Harry Udeme ~37
"We need to make it general! We need the head and the vice for each contestant. So pair up". He turned to Mirabel "pair with Harry!"
She frowned her face. Pairing with the mysterious fool?
The nomination began.

Five minutes later………
"I announce to you the contestant for the office of the Presidency:
Mathias Otu -President.
Henshaw Fedrick- Vice President.

Mmapanak Ekpo- President
George Williams- Vice

Godwin Udoh- President.
Essien Inwang- Vice

Harry Udeme -President
Mirabel Ekanem- Vice President.
"Let's all move out for the whole school to see and then you will give a speech, a kind of propaganda!"
"Sound the microphone and order all student to the assembly ground".

°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Blood gushed out freely from a lifeless lady on the ground.
Her assailant stood dumbstruck.
He felt her pulse and was shocked.
He wanted to run.
To where?
He stared on in horror.
The skin of the lady on the ground was pale and was gradually turning to white. An evidence of death looming around.
He quickly unlocked the door and fled out.

°•°•°•°•°•
The students and Staffs clapped as the contestant spoke of their intentions in pushing the school forward to greater heights.
"Now, we call on Harry Udeme and his Vice to come forward and state his political ambitions!" The Vice Principal said and exited the podium.
The whole school were thrown into frenzy, as wild screams and cheers filled everywhere.
Harry held Mirabel hand but she struggled to free her hand but he whispered "no put yaself for opposition ooo"
Those words worked the magic as she remained calm as they marched on.
Wise-man- Harry breathed.
"Great old pappas and mamas"
"Great!!" They replied.
"It is my rapport and equidistance priviledge to acknowledge myself as a politician and as a living sacrifice. Firstly, i am a politician to you all and secondly, i am a living sacrifice to any butcher that want to kill somebori.
Now, i am nomination as a specimem into the administration of this sanctified bocavistic academy.
Not to realise the cosmopolustic effect of low education in our dearest national country christened Nigeria!!!"
"Woo! Woo!! Woo!!!" The student screamed and clapped.
Wise-man- Harry continued.
"But first and foremost, I'll will introduce my humble self. I am not a man with timber and caliber because i don't sell timbers and i am not a cartepillar. My name is Harry.… most of you...infact, all of you know me. I am a popular face on dstv, ait, big brother naija and all other senseless television cable. I am Harry, my friends calls me Garri because i have hope of establishing the biggest cassava empire in north-south metropolis. Pardon my big grammar, i can't reduce my standard of speaking for illiterates. So get a bible-dictionary so that you can confirm the words of the master for better understanding! Hallelujah!"
"Aaaaamennn!!" The student replied.
"I will be speaking in parables so that my enemies would not understand because right now, i can tell you that they are plotting my failure. They are fowls in vulture feathers or you can say sheeps in wolf clothings or satan in human form or demon in okrika. Beside me is my vice president, her name is Mirabel Ekanem. Now let's catapult our bodies to why we are present in this fellowship.
I want to lay before your feet: failure and success. I know the wise will pick failure and the foolish will pick success. So you have to be foolish so that we can make this journey.
Now, the political propaganda has worked out modalities in form of extensive, recapacitative or external extico to rehabilitate the functional existence in educational policy.
This school is not left out, that's why the spirit of....i don't know..... revealed to our darling principal of a man that he need to create a new government. And that is what you're seeing now.
This government is before you, the wise won't see it only the foolish will.
like i said, you need to be a fool.
Now I'll countdown the things my govt will do.
Firstly, free food.
It has narrowed to my eyesight that most conterfeit student come to school without food. They will come and yawn like sexy elephants in class. They will yawn as if they want to swallow you. So i.... sorry.... my government will put a stop to that accumulation. My government will provide food, two times a day!"
The student cheered on.
"In the morning, bread and sardine, in the noon jellof rice. Now for those of you that saw no good thing to receive from God other than elephant stomach, i pity you. For those of you with truck stomach, i pity you.
My government will eradicate poverty.
Secondly, in the area of dressing. It has also came to my notice that most old men and women haff abused dressing. You will see someone on suit with baffroom silpas. You will see someone on ankara with canvas and be looking like a mad man under analysis. Most ladies dress like porn stars and my government is deeply angry. So we'll provide branded t-shirts for student and you'll buy black cover shoes because most of you normally wear ninja boots. No more rain boots!!!
Thirdly, beer will be allowed during break. It has come to my notice that teachers have been treating us like trash, they communicate to us anyhow.

"Bishop! Bishop!!" They student kept on cheering.

tbc....

Mehnn!
why are nairalanders so stingy with comment. A thousand and something views with less than no comments.
It will pass!!!

I hope Vera isn't the lady referred to as "lifeless"
Would want her to meet harry again.

Noblejohn32:
Mehnn!

why are nairalanders so stingy with comment.
A thousand and something views with less than no comments.

It will pass!!!

Sorry.


I'm guilty

mhizv:

I hope Vera isn't the lady referred to as "lifeless" Would want her to meet harry again.

ahhh!!! i don't know if your wish will be granted!!!

mhizv:




Sorry.


I'm guilty

You are forgiven!!!
Go home and sin no more....

Noblejohn32:

ahhh!!!
i don't know if your wish will be granted!!!

I hope it is.
not for them to get back together though. Just want her to see she made a wrong choice.