₦airaland Forum

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Dominion791:
I am 19 d eldest of 3 my brother is 15 and my sister is 10. We lost our mother 3 years ago since then everything has been hard cos my mum was d only one who worked hard for us to be well , my dad is an alcoholic he has never bothered about us. After d burial we packed out from d 2 bedroom house that my mum rented to a room . The room is so small it’s not very safe for my sister to be staying with 3 men in d house. My mum sister has been trying to convince dad that he should allow my sister stay with her but my dad has bluntly refuses.. For example she started her period she was shy to talked to me or my dad so she been struggling all alone and has hidden all her dirty period panties under her suitcase mixing it will all her clean clothes it was my brother who found them and showed to me , it was so disgusting to see when I ask her why did she not tell me or my dad about her period , she said she couldn’t tell us because we are boys. And yes she was right if she was with my aunty she wouldn’t be shy to tell her and I have reason with my dad why we should let her go , he still refusing saying as long he is alive he would not allow any of us to go and stay with our mum relatives. My sister is so eager to go and stay with my aunty she been crying all the time pleading with dad to let her but dad is adamant that she is not going anywhere.
He is not also doing his parental responsibility for us I am the one who is feeding the house with the little I get from work , I and my brother hadn’t been schooling for almost 3 years now , my sister is still in school but d way things seems to be I don’t think my dad would send her to school this term.
My brother and I are also struggling and suffering but we are men we should hustle hard but my sister doesn’t deserve all this treatment for her sanity she must leave this house . I really feel sorry for her cos she deserve to be in a good place with a mother figure cos there is a lot of things that she need to learn which neither my dad or I can help her with.
My dad doesn’t know where my aunty stay I want to take my sister there without his consent and please do you think I should do it or just let my poor sister to suffer the same way we are suffering?

God bless you for being a great bro... but dont take her there without your dad consent,,, instead talk to your dad yourself and give him reasons to convince him or talk to someone whom you know your dad respects..

Your sister started seeing her period at 10years?

Dominion791:
I am 19 d eldest of 3 my brother is 15 and my sister is 10. We lost our mother 3 years ago since then everything has been hard cos my mum was d only one who worked hard for us to be well , my dad is an alcoholic he has never bothered about us. After d burial we packed out from d 2 bedroom house that my mum rented to a room . The room is so small it’s not very safe for my sister to be staying with 3 men in d house. My mum sister has been trying to convince dad that he should allow my sister stay with her but my dad has bluntly refuses.. For example she started her period she was shy to talked to me or my dad so she been struggling all alone and has hidden all her dirty period panties under her suitcase mixing it will all her clean clothes it was my brother who found them and showed to me , it was so disgusting to see when I ask her why did she not tell me or my dad about her period , she said she couldn’t tell us because we are boys. And yes she was right if she was with my aunty she wouldn’t be shy to tell her and I have reason with my dad why we should let her go , he still refusing saying as long he is alive he would not allow any of us to go and stay with our mum relatives. My sister is so eager to go and stay with my aunty she been crying all the time pleading with dad to let her but dad is adamant that she is not going anywhere.
He is not also doing his parental responsibility for us I am the one who is feeding the house with the little I get from work , I and my brother hadn’t been schooling for almost 3 years now , my sister is still in school but d way things seems to be I don’t think my dad would send her to school this term.
My brother and I are also struggling and suffering but we are men we should hustle hard but my sister doesn’t deserve all this treatment for her sanity she must leave this house . I really feel sorry for her cos she deserve to be in a good place with a mother figure cos there is a lot of things that she need to learn which neither my dad or I can help her with.
My dad doesn’t know where my aunty stay I want to take my sister there without his consent and please do you think I should do it or just let my poor sister to suffer the same way we are suffering?

Your sister started seeing her period at 10years?

seborrhic:
Your sister started seeing her period at 10years? Your sister started seeing her period at 10years?

As early as 8 for some.
It's not strange at all

BKsoul:
God bless you for being a great bro... but dont take her there without your dad consent,,, instead talk to your dad yourself and give him reasons to convince him or talk to someone whom you know your dad respects..

Thanks for advice . I don’t think he will listen to his elder brother but I’ll try

seborrhic:
Your sister started seeing her period at 10years? Your sister started seeing her period at 10years?

Yes since June but we just find out this month

Your father is being selfish and inconsiderate...

He feel he's doing the right thing, but what his doing is so so wrong.
Call your uncles and aunties and explain to dem to call your dad. When one decision is coming from all direction, he will sucumb.

Dont wait until she gets sexually abused, cos she would never open up still (pervert don full town oo)

You have a good heart and I pray God blesses you abundantly.

For your sister, I don't totally blame your dad for refusing. The way girls are being maltreated and molested by the so called relatives will always dissuade any parent to hand his/her child to them. But in this case, if you aunt can be trusted continue begging your dad to see reasons with you. It's well dear.

Dominion791:
Yes since June but we just find out this month

The poor girl must've been so scared!

You are a very understanding brother, but I see nothing wrong if your father does not want her go to stay with your aunt.
He wants to be able to protect his baby girl himself, especially as she just started her period.
Your sister just needs to learn to open up little by little. It also depends on your family dynamics... Is your family the very conservative kind? Don't see your dad as being stubborn, he knows what he's doing.
All in all, she'll get used to it eventually.

I hope you won't do what you plan to do behind your father, and your sister ends up getting maltreated at your aunt's house or even worse.

The guilt you're going to feel then will be 10× worse than whatever it is you're feeling now.

crackhaus:
I hope you won't do what you plan to do behind your father, and your sister ends up getting maltreated at your aunt's house or even worse.

The guilt you're going to feel then will be 10× worse than whatever it is you're feeling now.

True.

You ve tried your best but your father knows better. she's his daughter. You are just a caring brother.

Dominion791:
I am 19 d eldest of 3 my brother is 15 and my sister is 10. We lost our mother 3 years ago since then everything has been hard cos my mum was d only one who worked hard for us to be well , my dad is an alcoholic he has never bothered about us. After d burial we packed out from d 2 bedroom house that my mum rented to a room . The room is so small it’s not very safe for my sister to be staying with 3 men in d house. My mum sister has been trying to convince dad that he should allow my sister stay with her but my dad has bluntly refuses.. For example she started her period she was shy to talked to me or my dad so she been struggling all alone and has hidden all her dirty period panties under her suitcase mixing it will all her clean clothes it was my brother who found them and showed to me , it was so disgusting to see when I ask her why did she not tell me or my dad about her period , she said she couldn’t tell us because we are boys. And yes she was right if she was with my aunty she wouldn’t be shy to tell her and I have reason with my dad why we should let her go , he still refusing saying as long he is alive he would not allow any of us to go and stay with our mum relatives. My sister is so eager to go and stay with my aunty she been crying all the time pleading with dad to let her but dad is adamant that she is not going anywhere.
He is not also doing his parental responsibility for us I am the one who is feeding the house with the little I get from work , I and my brother hadn’t been schooling for almost 3 years now , my sister is still in school but d way things seems to be I don’t think my dad would send her to school this term.
My brother and I are also struggling and suffering but we are men we should hustle hard but my sister doesn’t deserve all this treatment for her sanity she must leave this house . I really feel sorry for her cos she deserve to be in a good place with a mother figure cos there is a lot of things that she need to learn which neither my dad or I can help her with.
My dad doesn’t know where my aunty stay I want to take my sister there without his consent and please do you think I should do it or just let my poor sister to suffer the same way we are suffering?

Some families sha. How can she be shy of telling her brothers or father about her period?

Again why isn't it safe for your sister to be staying with 3 men in the same room, I'm assuming the 3 men are you, your younger brother and your dad.

Ask your father the reason why he doesn't want his daughter to stay with his late wife's relatives.
You can also suggest his own relatives.

Don't take your sister Anywhere without telling your father.

Dominion791:
I am 19 d eldest of 3 my brother is 15 and my sister is 10. We lost our mother 3 years ago since then everything has been hard cos my mum was d only one who worked hard for us to be well , my dad is an alcoholic he has never bothered about us. After d burial we packed out from d 2 bedroom house that my mum rented to a room . The room is so small it’s not very safe for my sister to be staying with 3 men in d house. My mum sister has been trying to convince dad that he should allow my sister stay with her but my dad has bluntly refuses.. For example she started her period she was shy to talked to me or my dad so she been struggling all alone and has hidden all her dirty period panties under her suitcase mixing it will all her clean clothes it was my brother who found them and showed to me , it was so disgusting to see when I ask her why did she not tell me or my dad about her period , she said she couldn’t tell us because we are boys. And yes she was right if she was with my aunty she wouldn’t be shy to tell her and I have reason with my dad why we should let her go , he still refusing saying as long he is alive he would not allow any of us to go and stay with our mum relatives. My sister is so eager to go and stay with my aunty she been crying all the time pleading with dad to let her but dad is adamant that she is not going anywhere.
He is not also doing his parental responsibility for us I am the one who is feeding the house with the little I get from work , I and my brother hadn’t been schooling for almost 3 years now , my sister is still in school but d way things seems to be I don’t think my dad would send her to school this term.
My brother and I are also struggling and suffering but we are men we should hustle hard but my sister doesn’t deserve all this treatment for her sanity she must leave this house . I really feel sorry for her cos she deserve to be in a good place with a mother figure cos there is a lot of things that she need to learn which neither my dad or I can help her with.
My dad doesn’t know where my aunty stay I want to take my sister there without his consent and please do you think I should do it or just let my poor sister to suffer the same way we are suffering?

Get her to open up to you guys, you would always be her family and read up things about puberty in females (Every Woman) is a fantastic read so you can guide her better.

Depending on your religion, you can also get a mother figure (pastors wife, Sunday school teachers, Imam's wife, Alhaja with female kids etc). She might not visit them, she can just have decent rapport after service/jummat.

Like others have said, your dad might want to prevent people taking advantage of his daughter; he might also remind him of your mum or the fact she is female + last born makes her dear to his heart.

As she grows, take her through the basics of domestics like chores, cooking, cleaning etc.

Let her also use this opportunity to learn resilience and contentment.

@Schooling: can your Aunt pay part of her schools whilst she is at your place if she can't afford all the fees. Can you also explore enrolling her into public school temporarily so she has a bit of education?

If the above stiil doesn't work, get your aunt to come ask for your sister herself.

It is well and sorry this responsibility has been thrust on you at such a young age.

P.S.: What are the plans for yourself? Is there someone you can work for to let you school or something?

Jama jama hustling is not sustainable in the long run.

OkuFaba:
Your father is being selfish and inconsiderate...

He feel he's doing the right thing, but what his doing is so so wrong.
Call your uncles and aunties and explain to dem to call your dad. When one decision is coming from all direction, he will sucumb.

Dont wait until she gets sexually abused, cos she would never open up still (pervert don full town oo)

You're encouraging him to challenge his father. It is not right. You too will become a father someday, how would you feel if your young son challenged you, because he feels he knows better than you?
Who else can give the girl the most protection if not her father?
The op is just at that naive and rebellious phase, who thinks he knows better than everyone around him.
He feels his sister is better off at his aunt's because he trusts her; what about those living with and around his aunt? How much does he know about them?
How safe does he think his sister will be at his aunt's place compared to being with them at home? Bearing in mind that the aunt will not always be there....
What about the company the little girl is likely to keep that might influence her?
Possible abuse as someone pointed out...
At least at home, not only will their father keep his eyes on her, they too (the brothers) can also protect her.
Unless the op is seeking an easy way out of his responsibility.

seborrhic:
Your sister started seeing her period at 10years? Your sister started seeing her period at 10years?

Very possible. Two of my cousins(sisters), started @ 9. Some people have early maturity.

What makes u think ur aunty’s house would be better? U want ur sister to get maltreated or raped? Ur father knows what he is avoiding

Your dad will stubborly disagree. You either insist without his knowledge or you learn those female stuff and teach her of you find a female gentle friend, invite her home to teach her

Dont do anything without ur dads consent.Just keep praying i know ur mum spirit is nt sleeping wherever she is.
There will be a way out soon and also try and get a skill with ur bro if u wont be able to go to school.
Please dont waste like dat all in d name of hustling try make gud use of urself too