₦airaland Forum

[img]https://live.mrf.io/statics/i/ps/cdn.punchng.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/26235829/Mrs-Linda-Omokhoa-Husband.jpg?mrf-size=m[/img]

Mrs Linda Omokhoa, wife of the late Patrick Omokhoa, who resided in Ireland, tells TOBI AWORINDE about the events that culminated in her husband’s death and alleged attempts by her in-laws to take the house which the couple had built

What led up to your husband’s recent passing?

I had moved into our apartment that I built in January. He passed on June 28.

You alone built the house?

No, both of us did. But he had the property before we met, though the completion was after our wedding. He wasn’t based in Nigeria but in Ireland. When he died, the family members refused to involve me in the burial; he was buried there (in Ireland) because of the coronavirus pandemic. They didn’t include my name in the obituary. He had a wife that died, so he was a widower when I met him, then we got married. And he had a child from that other marriage. She (the child) is in the United Kingdom.


Now, they (my husband’s family members) have been asking me to leave the house, saying the house belongs to the ‘new owner,’ that is, the daughter, who is in the UK. I ignored all of that. I went to report at the Office of the Public Defence in Surulere (Lagos). I gave them the letter, my (wedding) certificate and other documents. Before then, I went to the embassy and they said there was nothing they could do because of the lockdown. I called the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Ireland. I called the Irish embassy and did so many (other) things. In the end, they gave me a contact in Galway, where he lived. So, I was in contact with the coroner, who is charge of registering deaths and investigating causes of death; we were communicating via email. I sent him my marriage certificate, pictures and other necessary documents.


They buried him on July 11. On July 13, in the morning, when I contacted the coroner to ask how far along he has got with the investigation and the (cause of) death, he sent an email, telling me that his (my husband) brother came for an interim death certificate. He asked if I had an objection and I said of course, and that he should not issue it to any one of them. Between July 13 and 14, the daughter called me, telling me she contacted the coroner and that she needed her dad’s certificate. I asked her, ‘When was this?’ She said, ‘Yesterday’ — the same day the younger brother went. The brother told them that the coroner said I should not give it to anyone. So, they sent the daughter to me, in hopes that if she talked to me, I would release it to her. But is said no. Since then, I have not communicated with her. They said she should not contact me and I should not contact her.

How old is your stepdaughter?

She’s 18 now.

How long were you married to him?

We were married for four years.

Do you have a child for him?

No.

Was he living in Ireland before you got married?

Yes, he was an Irish citizen.


Is the death certificate still with the coroner?

It’s with me. They’ve sent it to me.

Did they say what the cause of death is ?

No.

So, it is assumed that he died of natural causes?

Yes, because he didn’t give any report.

How old was your husband?



He was 54. They did the obituary but there is nothing reflecting my name there. But when they needed the death certificate, they knew he had a wife. So, they contacted me; I said no.

You were not even given the chance to mourn your husband before he was buried?

Not at all.

[b]How did you learn of his death]/b] ?

Normally, we would speak three times every day, sometimes more. That Saturday morning of June 27, he called me. We spoke via a video call. After that, he sent me a message in the afternoon. We would normally have our evening prayers together, every night. So, I called him at night to pray and he was not picking up. I thought maybe he slept early and if he woke up, he would see that I had called him and call me back, or in the morning, he would acknowledge that he missed my call. He didn’t respond. Till 12am, there was no indication that he had even read the message. On June 28, I started calling again in the morning. It was the same thing — no read receipt, message, or return call. So, I called his daughter to ask, ‘When last did you speak with your dad?’ She said, ‘Some days ago.’ I told her, ‘When you reach him, let me know. Until 2pm or thereabout, it was the same thing; the daughter then sent a message that she’d been trying to call him too but there was no response.

So, I called my sister who lives in Waterford (Ireland) to ask if she had any friend in Galway that could help check on him because it was unusual. She then sent someone. When the person got back, they said they pressed the bell but there was no response and that I should ask the daughter to call the police. The daughter was in the UK, so there was nothing she could do. I had to call his own younger sister also in Galway. I told her, ‘I’ve not been able to reach your brother. Please, can you go to the house and check on him?’ She did, and when she got there, she said she had been pressing the bell, but there was no response. She then called the police. When the police got there, they called me and asked me when last we spoke and what we talked about. I gave them everything. Since then, I have not heard from the sister that I called.

I then called the eldest sister, who is in Nigeria. I called that one, asking if she had heard anything from them. She said no and that if she heard anything, she would call me. Till now, she has not called me. Between Sunday night and Monday morning, I missed a call from the younger brother in Ireland but not the same city. I called him back and when he picked, he asked who was there with me. I said it was my younger sister. I told him what happened the previous day about calling the younger sister and that she didn’t get back to me. He then said I should give the phone to the person with me. He then broke the news to my younger sister, saying she should look for an elderly person to tell me and that she should not tell me. Thirty minutes to an hour later, my uncle called me relaying to me what my younger sister said my brother-in-law had told her. That was how I learnt of his death. Since then, I’ve been calling that brother, but there has been no response or reply to my messages.

What is the situation with your house and your in-laws

Before now, he (my husband) came home last in October 2019. He left in November. That was when we went to finish the housing project because he wanted me to move in there before he came this year. That was why we did the borehole and put all the finishing touches, so I could move in and get a tenant, so I wouldn’t be the only one in the compound. When he got back to Ireland, he was searching for the house documents. He said he couldn’t find it and that I should check the house. I said, ‘This is a new house that we have not lived in for one day. There is no document here. Call your nephew that was in charge of the building on your behalf.’ He said the nephew told him he had given him (my husband) the receipt. I said, ‘It’s a lie.’ So, he couldn’t find it and he asked me to go to the omo onile to ask for another receipt. This was in February. I went to contact the secretary of the local council development area, because I didn’t know any omo onile people there. I had just moved into the area. So, he told me, when he came, he would go to the ‘omo onile’ (land speculators) himself and they would issue another receipt to him. But he couldn’t come before his death because of coronavirus and the lockdown.

So, when his death occurred, I had to go back to the LCDA official and he took me to the ‘omo onile’. I explained myself to them, so the omo onile was willing to give me the receipt, but he asked for money. Because it is sort of a family receipt, he then called another family member. When that one came, he was asking me questions: ‘Who owns the house? Who bought the land?’ I told him everything. He then said that same nephew that was in charge of the building for Patrick had told him years back that he (nephew) was the owner of the land. Back then, when they had seen him on the land, they had asked him, ‘What are you doing there?’ And he said he was the owner. That guy (omo onile) then told me that what they were trying to do is illegal. So, I suspected that the guy already gave them (in-laws) another receipt because the tenant told me that they came with a paper saying the daughter was the new owner of the house; I was a tenant and they were giving me two weeks to leave. They also dropped a letter for me and pasted it (notice) on my door and gate.


But you had been living there since February?

I have been living there since January 9.

When did they drop the letter?

The letter is dated July 23.

Does the letter say anything about the family member asking you to leave?

They just said they were the solicitors to the daughter.

But you have been unable to contact any of your in-laws?

They don’t pick my calls, including the eldest sister and the ones in Ireland. They blocked on WhatsApp and everywhere else, so I can’t even reach them. This morning (penultimate Wednesday), a tenant called me because I saw the letter brought by the solicitors to the daughter, according to him (tenant). But I ignored it. The letter is still with me. I removed the one they pasted on my gate and door. They came and pasted another one. So, this morning, a tenant called me, saying they brought a buyer for the house, and that since I don’t want to move out, they would sell it.

Have you found out the whereabouts of the house document?

That’s what I don’t know because they claimed they gave it to Patrick. But Patrick said he couldn’t find it. That was why he said I should go to the omo onile to get another receipt, so that when he came, we would then do every other necessary document.

Were your in-laws at your wedding?

They were there.

Has there ever been friction between you and them?

Of course, there was friction.

Was it that way right from the beginning of your relationship with Patrick?

It (started) around the wedding, which was June 3, 2017. They said he should not marry me because they didn’t really know me and that they knew one girl with him back then. He said he didn’t promise to marry that one. They then said they had someone else for him; he said no and that he knew what he wanted. That was when the friction started.

Do you know if there is a will?

There is no will.

Since there is neither a will nor a house document, are you going to move out of the house?

I’m not moving out.

You said you went to the OPD. Do you have a lawyer now?

Yes, but the lawyer the OPD gave to me is telling me that since I don’t have any document that can prove that he is the owner of the house, they cannot really do anything for now. They said I should bring a utility bill, like Lagos State Waste Management Authority, bearing his name. I told them LAWMA was not in that area, but I could get the electricity bill because I was the one who called the electricity company to connect the house to the grid and did the wiring of the house and every other thing. I have got the electricity bill. The next-door neighbour collected the land use charge (bill) brought last year. I took it to Alausa because it was addressed to the owner, so they had to change the name. They said we had to pay the land use charge for last year and this year. I told them what happened and they said I should go to court to swear an affidavit that the real owner was dead, then I would pay the money and bring the death certificate and other documents. Then they would change the name and subsequent bills would bear his name. I related all of this to the OPD lawyer, but she’s not picking up my calls or responding to my emails or text messages.

What are your family members saying?

They said I should be careful. I said, ‘No, it’s my husband’s house. Part of my money is in that building, so I can’t leave the house for them just like that.’

Copyright PUNCH.

https://punchng.com/in-laws-want-to-kick-me-out-of-house-my-husband-and-i-built-widow/?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1601223492

Kai...

Sorry for your loss.

Smart woman. But I would have preferred if you had a better relationship with your step daughter.

When will this treatment to women stop? The more reason why you should have something tangible doing, no matter how little. Is well oo. It shall not be well with those senseless in-laws that when you marry into a family of idiots and entitled people, this is what you get.

Arrrrrrrh

People are just cruel, wicked and baleful.

One day we will leave this earth and return to the creator for answering. Be caution!!!

Do not use your, money, fame, position to oppress the less privilegeds.

Dis battle is bigger than you..just forget the property and move on.

They should come to an agreement on ownership between the widow and the daughter because the marriage certificate confers her rights.

This matter is serious!

I read the story line after line. Hmmm

Part of the reasons she is having this challenge is that fact that she didn't do enough to unite with the husband family after the wedding, which they were still hurt about.

I guess she just focused on her husband and step daughter and moved on with her life. She thought everything will always move smooth as it was then.

She didn't make friends that could fight her course, within the family, before the husband died.

Secondly, the fact that she did not give birth for the man puts her in a disadvantaged situation. We all know how it works in Nigeria. But she can leverage on the fact that she has the genuine death certificate in order to get something out of this situation.

Obviously, someone has "stolen" the original documents of the property and the ones she may not know about.

I hope the government, through seasoned lawyers, can step in and find a situation to this conundrum.

donbachi:
Dis battle is bigger than you..just forget the property and move on.

Not entirely...she has the death certificate and she can still leverage on that to get something.

Yes, but the lawyer the OPD gave to me is telling me that since I don’t have any document that can prove that he is the owner of the house, they cannot really do anything for now.

I related all of this to the OPD lawyer, but she’s not picking up my calls or responding to my emails or text messages.

It's obvious she's fighting a lose battle and i don't see her winning this.

I'd advise she move on and accept her fate.

she should just leave in peace,this won't end in her favour

– Your in-laws never liked you.
– You have no child with your late husband.
– He left no will.
– You have no documents for the house to prove it's yours.
– Your late husband didn't even have the documents before he died.

Okay na...

this matter tie gele o

Temitopemo6e6:
When will this treatment to women stop? The more reason why you should have something tangible doing, no matter how little. Is well oo. It shall not be well with those senseless in-laws that when you marry into a family of idiots and entitled people, this is what you get.

I can't agree less my brother.

crackhaus:
– Your in-laws never liked you.
– You have no child with your late husband.
– He left no will.
– You have no documents for the house to prove it's yours.
– Your late husband didn't even have the documents before he died.

Okay na...

Honestly, it would be difficult for her to fight on/succeed without all these.

egojeny1:
I can't agree less my brother.

but women have a long to go

Mehn... This is really hard... The families didn't consider her as their son's wife worse-off she didn't now give birth.... If she's gonna keep fighting, she must be prayerful hence her life....

They should come to an pact on shareholding between the wife and the granddaughter because the divorce diploma confers her freedoms.

Edo people behave like that

JidennaJason:
Life has taught me to always look before I leap...

She didn't look.


Life is a teacher, I wonder why people don't learn from it.

@jidennajason
What w'ud have done differently??
Her late husband really messed things up...ignorantly or deliberately acquired a property via a distant relative?! speaks volume...

egojeny1:
Honestly, it would be difficult for her to fight on/succeed without all these.

Lol, that's even an understatement.

The word is impossible.

The family should have pity on her and sell the house and give her a little percentage from it cuz she's fighting a lost battle.

This is why I can't marry into a family that am not wanted in.

Her in-laws never saw her as a wife, so i advice she leave, especially has she had no issue for the man.

virginprincess:
Her in-laws never saw her as a wife, so i advice she leave, especially has she had no issue for the man.

He who fights and run away live to fight another day!

in marriage,you marry the spouse's family not the spouse,because tomorrow is pregnant you dont know what it will give birth to.

I wonder why the woman is fighting.

1. The woman do not have any proof that the house is hers, the only thing she has is her words

2. The family of this woman husband is against her, and it is just natural for the family to fight for their brother's daughter. And the family most likely has the document.

3. The husband owns the property before he met her, we all knows that the woman didn't spend a dime on that property. Seriously a second wife of just only 4 years do not deserve this property but the daughter.

4. She wants all the property to herself on what ground? She herself knows she do not deserve it or have any right to it, so she made up a flimsy right of her contributing to the building.

5. You ladies supporting the woman, if your Son marries a wife of 4 years and this wife with no child is claiming all your Son inheritance from your grand kids, how would you feel?

JidennaJason:
Life has taught me to always look before I leap...

She didn't look.


Life is a teacher, I wonder why people don't learn from it.

What do you mean by look well before you leap

Marriages will always have issues talk more of this one that was once married before and had a child before meeting her

Temitopemo6e6:
When will this treatment to women stop? The more reason why you should have something tangible doing, no matter how little. Is well oo. It shall not be well with those senseless in-laws that when you marry into a family of idiots and entitled people, this is what you get.

When women fight back as they did when they wanted to work in paid employment.

These wicked men and women will never give you your rightful due without a fight!

People who have already finished planning to take your things; they even took your things in your presence and you let them.

frozen70:
What do you mean by look well before you leap

Marriages will always have issues talk more of this one that was once married before and had a child before meeting her

Do not mind him for it is easy for him to say being a man who may never experience the wickedness of it.