₦airaland Forum

BabbanBura:
I disagree, that girl should not suffer the consequences of that marriage. I will send that woman away to protect my daughter! Haba, imagine the trauma of loosing her mum and now u want the only Dad she looks up to for love to send her away, no nah! Reason am nah babe, odikwa impossible, biko

Even if the strp mom later calm down and allow the gitl yo stay , she will definitely maltreat her. I think the best is to keep her away from her for now. Give that girl 12 yrs and the woman wont be able to maltreat her.

Klass99:
Lol, your mouth ehn! Remarrying for, sex, companionship and a mother figure for his daughter wasn't out of place, at all.

It is the reason he cited for remarrying (for the sake of more kids) and bowing to pressure from relatives for such a reason, that felt out of place for me.

Him and his daughter would have been fine until he felt ready by himself for another marital relationship, not allowing relatives dictate to him.

Now see where it has landed him. He ended up with a very stupid woman who wants his daughter with his first wife out of the house. A child she met in that house fa!

And she is threatening to take the other 4 kids they have away, as if she can take good care of them on her own, without the man's input/help. I just dey laugh at her foolishness.

Give her 2 months, na she go dey find hubby upandan make him help her buy cooking gas for her house or new shoes for junior. I know her type nah, they are good at giving birth any how, but not good at mastering the responsibilities which come afterwards.

She is lucky she is not married to me sef and I am not a man, wetin I for do her ehn!

ME sef no believe another woman go love another woman pikin......my personal opinion..deem no born me to Deceive my sef say another woman go lov my pikin


I agree wit u though..

bukatyne:
@bold

I don't see that happening.

His wife is too 'rancourous' for that.

If she wanted peace, she should have pleaded for her daughter not to leave as she is 'changed'.

Sending the man's daughter away doesn't resolve the issue, just buries it and creates bitterness in the heart of the two daughters.

This is the issue that must be resolved if the family is to stay as one.If her daughter has to leave the house,she will keep insisting the stepdaughter leaves too or else the anger and bitterness will not be resolved.She will definitely treat the stepdaughter bad too when alone with her.

UjuJoan2:
I hear a lot of her daughter, my daughter in this your post. Are you people truly a family? I say that because children fight, the big ones bully the small ones, it's the order of life.

What you do is correct and teach them to love each other. Not cause more division by this whole her daughter my daughter talk.

You seem to keep defending your daughter without even bothering to know if truly she's at fault? Don't you know children can be cunning? She may act all polite in front of you but you'll be shocked at the things that come out from her mouth when you are not there.

Who knows, maybe the whole "my daughter" thing had rubbed off her and she doesn't give her elder sister the respect she deserves.

So now after having children for you you expect your wife to leave with 'her daughter'? It doesn't work that way.

it's your type that ignores thier daughter/son when been maltreated and nearly killed by their stepmom.

Your wife is a devil and she gave birth to a devil just like herself. Do not send your daughter away. She needs to know that you will always be there for her, no mother and then u send her away?? Pure wickedness.
Always stand up for that child, your wife can go to hell for all I care.
From your write up I can see you are not one of all this weak men.
Fight for your daughter

Psych412:
it's your type that ignores thier daughter/son when been maltreated and nearly killed by their stepmom.

You can't side your daughter or son while making it obvious in a marriage where there are stepchildren.It only causes more division.I'm not saying if she is being maltreated,don't protect her,i'm just saying you should seek fairness and justice and not just say because she's my daughter i have to defend her against the stepchildren.

Boldz:
Good evening all , I created this account because I desperately need advice from you guys.

My wife and I got married 6 years ago we both had children from a previous relationship , my daughter is 10 years old and my step daughter is 17 years it’s not that my wife is older than me but she just had her daughter when she was still in school which the father denied the pregnancy. I was married before but I lost my wife wife during the childbirth of our second child both mother and son didn’t survived, loosing my wife and baby was very hard for me I suffered from depression and blood pressure which I am on medications till now , I didn’t want to remarry but my family had pressured me to remarry so I can bear more children.

I met my wife 2 years after the death of my wife I knew her because she was working in a restaurant just closer to my workplace I was a regular customer , she told me about her child and I have accepted like my own child even before we got married I use to pay her school fee and buying her clothes just like a father can do for his daughter. My wife and I courted for 2 years we got married both traditional and church wedding and we are blessed with four beautiful children 2 boys and 2 girls.

My wife loves my daughter a lot just the same way I do love her daughter I take care of her I am paying her school fees , I buy her clothes , I sub her phone every week and I give her pocket money but I
Noticed that she doesn’t like my daughter she keep beating her even in my presence I have noticed how she talks to my daughter as if she is not a part of the family and my wife doesn’t scold her in fact she will blame my daughter for making her daughter angry and when I caution her my wife thinks I am harsh on her . I don’t flog her anymore but I do punish her by taking her phone away the last time I took her phone and keep
it for a month because of the same problem of her beating and being rude to my daughter but my wife was not happy but I didn’t care because I can watch my daughter being abuse in her own father house so I cautioned my step daughter.

I have been away since April I couldn’t come home because of the lockdown so I only return back 2 weeks ago , only to find her right eye was swollen , I asked my daughter what had happened to her she kept mute so I asked my wife she said she hit her head while they were playing and she said she had taken her to the hospital
And there’s nothing to worry about. The next day I was home playing with my children and was asking them how they been while I was away and just normal chats with the kids and my 5 years old son told me everything was bad because their big sister had been treating my daughter bad to the extend of punching her on her face so this swollen on her face was due to her punching her but my wife lied to me

So I called my step daughter since she was at home asking her why did she pinched her sister for and she told me my daughter insulted her and she has reported to my wife and she told her to beat her but I knew she was lying about the part that my daughter insulted her because my daughter doesn’t even insult in fact all my children knows that is not good to insult themselves including elders , so I asked my daughter my daughter said she didn’t insult her but it was my step daughter who was insulting her including her dead mother so my daughter gave her a dirty looks which made my step daughter to start hitting her even taught step daughter was trying to deny everything but I become angry and I had my belt next to me which I flogged her and took away her phone and have decided not to give her back anymore.

When my wife returned she got angry why did I flogged her daughter that my daughter is becoming very stubborn that her daughter as her older sister has the right to beat her we had quarrelled exchanging harsh words I told my wife her bastard of daughter has no right to insult my dead wife at least my daughter knows her mother is on the graveyard and what about her a bastard who doesn’t know where her sperm donor stays but she thinks she have the right to abuse my daughter in her own father house and I told her she will not longer stay in my house that she has to leave by next month and my wife said if her daughter leaves the same apply to my daughter too they should both stay or if her daughter leaves and my daughter stay she will show her hell

I reported her to her parents which her parents had agreed for her daughter to go and stay with her which she left yesterday being Sunday and my wife has given me the option to send my daughter to my parents in the village or to my sister in
Port harcourt or she will leave with the children . Have told her she is free to leave alone without my children but she is still threatening to leave when I am away from home last night we didn’t sleep she fought me all night saying my daughter must leave I almost hit her but I thank God I didn’t do it because it’s not my nature . Today she has started again but I have been ignoring her and if she continue I will arrest her and send her out of my house. How do I deal with her please

life is too shot.
thank God you're still in your right senses by standing up for your first wife.
please send that woman away.
don't even accept her plead.
just assume that you were not blessed with marriage. you have tried.
face your daughter and your kids. you can do it. your daughter will love n take care of them with you.
if she wants the kids, you can share them.
na she go tired.

.

Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

please sir,I beg you in God's name protect your daughter you are all she has.

The woman can leave and if she wants to leave with the 4 children allow her. she is d one that will suffer it,can she take care of 5kids alone? I guess not

give her space and she will come begging.

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

Let her go. She will get tired and come for settlement.

You have stood up for your daughter and posterity will be kind to you.

UjuJoan2:
She's a young child and will definitely do things the wrong way, even say horrible things she shouldn't say.

But saying her mother is 'encouraging' her may not be quite right.

We have a culture of violence in Nigeria, our parents beat us, our elder ones beat us, we beat our children, we beat our younger ones, our children beat Thier younger ones . . . The circle continues.

I recently made a conscious effort to stop every form of violence in my home, both verbal and physical, in the name of discipline when I saw my girls copying me. My eldest would beat up her younger ones, the second will beat the third and what shoked me was when th 3-year old decided to try her own skills and beat up her one year old sister

But why won't that beat each other up, when they see me doing the exact same thing. So I don't go about asking who is right or wrong, I banned any form of violence completely.

My children have 2-3 year age gap and still feel like they are in a position to discipline their younger ones. How much more someone with over 7 year age gap.

In their home, discipline/correction equals beating up.

Do you think an angry 17-year old, focused on disciplining her younger sister says to herself 'oh, let me not punch her in the eyes so she doesn't get a black eye'. It doesn't work that way. Violence gets out of hand because people cannot control their temper.

This is what I see happening in the home, the only difference is that there is a fundamental problem, they are not a family.

Have you ever urged your older child to beat up the younger one when she reports a misdemeanor to you? "beat her very well",she said.

If not for death and remarriage, what guts does a 17 ur old who doesn't even know her father to taunt a child with her mother's death?

If I lied to my husband to quell tension at first, I'd call him later preferably at night, tell him the truth and we iron out issues without having a 5 yr old say the truth the next day. I do that because I respect him and my children will definitely download the days happenings to him.

I understand where you are coming from but right here the happiness of this girl is priority. He owes her that.

Madam should go and look for her 1st baby daddy or his family so the daughter can get acquainted with him/them and they should share custody. She has tried for 17 yrs ND soonest he's gonna surface to reap from where he didn't sow while this man's relationship with his daughter is destroyed.



#EndChildcruelty

Bros, u no get wife. Na the Devil himself u marry. She wants u to send a child who was there before her out of the house? Don't u dare, or her late mother no go forgive u. It's her and her almost 18 year old daughter who needs to go for abusing your little girl.

So sorry to hear that. The mistake of marrying a single mother has been made. There’s a reason why she’s a single mother and is not always what you think you know. You’ little girl has suffered enough, loosing a mom at that tender age and living with evil ones. She’s stressed and scared that she can’t even tell you she’s hurting, very sad. How in the world can someone here tell you to send your daughter away to make peace? Peace with who? I’m so worried about such people and I sincerely wish you well

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

Nice one. You are about to call off her bluff. She's insisting on leaving with those four kids as a way of getting her way and having you do her bidding. She's gonna come back to her senses when she realises it's not a walk in the park raising just one child as a single parent let alone four. Let her go.

.

BabbanBura:
E be like say no be only fine skin you gat woo, seemed like ya brain dey fine too

Lol...Thanks... i hate it when a man can't stand his ground like a man is supposed to...

BKsoul:
Lol...Thanks... i hate it when a man can't stand his ground like a man is supposed to...

You must really have a strong traditional character - I like ladies who push weak men to be men. Hope you are soft though?

BabbanBura:
You must really have a strong traditional character - I like ladies who push weak men to be men. Hope you are soft though?

lol...i am softer than a freshly baked bread.

BKsoul:
lol...i am softer than a freshly baked bread.

Udonminit? Let's talk off here abeg, check ya mail.

BabbanBura:
Udonminit? Let's talk off here abeg, check ya mail.

lol...funny you..

thorpido:
You can't side your daughter or son while making it obvious in a marriage where there are stepchildren.It only causes more division.I'm not saying if she is being maltreated,don't protect her,i'm just saying you should seek fairness and justice and not just say because she's my daughter i have to defend her against the stepchildren.

I understand you jare.
The man should wait until the daughter blinds the two eyes before he takes action.

BKsoul:
lol...funny you..

Am I?

For your sake, I created this handle to reply you. I have a slightly similar experience but not to your level. My wife died at childbirth too, but the baby survived. I remarried sometime later however I was very careful to avoid marrying any woman already having children, whether a widow or otherwise, to avoid exactly the problem you are facing now- not that there were no suitable candidates. Inspite of that, for a good while, my wife who is actually a good god fearing woman several times used very bad words to me about my children. I can not explain it really. She cares for them, takes care of them and loves them, but in the early days, did not trust that they truly appreciated her as a new mother. She would be very free with the smaller ones but felt the older ones did not accept her - which was not really true. They may not have been lapping at her, but they respected her because I made it clear they had to do that. No matter what I did, to assure my wife that she was only imagining things, it did not help. Nevertheless during those word-fights, i did not hesitate to make it absolutely clear to my wife that I will not tolerate emotional abuse or otherwise of my children, while at the same time i disciplined my children thoroughly whenever i found them culpable. Non of the two parties could justly accuse me of partiality. I fiercely defended my children against my wife and sternly disciplined my children in her presence when they were guilty of any grievous misdemeanor.

My saving grace is that my wife is actually godly. if not, i would have been in big soup. Over time, we both learned to avoid what will provoke each other. She knew clearly that unjustified accusations (even if she felt they were justified) against my children will never fly with me. i will defend them to the last blood, because , their mother is late. If i allow them feel in the slightest, that they have lost me too, it will be a disaster for them. So till now, they are very close to me and I am actually both their friend and father. So my wife, on learning that such things wont work with me, so as not to loose me too, she also decided to back down, to let peace reign. Gradually she has become more relatable with the older children, but due to her own nature, a fairly reserved one, there is a limit she can go. But what is certain, she cares for the children but i do not know where that misconception initially was coming from. So today, we live in peace, everyone carefully honouring and respecting boundaries. Since then word-fights between the two of us have practically gone.

From your description, something similar may be playing out in your home. Unfortunately, the person who has one of the main keys to keep that family in peace together is your wife. If she is not godly enough to recognise her home is about to be torn apart, there will be problem. Its unfortunate you did not anticipate sibling problem coming. It was naive of you. Now the deed is already done. Bitter words have already been spoken that can never be forgotten even if forgiven. Its painful.

What you must not do, is to not send ANY of your children from your late wife away. Never never never ever try it. Those childrens' spirit will die and they will become what you will regret you ever gave birth to. Similarly, as i said, the deed is already done, YOU CANNOT SEND YOUR STEP DAUGHTER AWAY ALSO. There is nothing you can do on that. You all have to stay in the house and slug it out. But here is my counsel: Since I can not tell how godly your wife is, she is angry now, and angry women can say and do terrible things. bring your step daughter back. apologise for ever calling her a bastard child - that was terrible of you. i know you were angry, i have said terrible things too when i and my wife quarrelled because of the children, but the thing is , I knew what i said was bad. So you MUST apologise for those terrible words. comfort all parties, wife, step daughter and your daughter. Resolve between you and your wife to stop saying "my children" "your daughter". That must stop. The final and the most crucial aspect of solving the problem in your home - you need to bring in somebody else to stay in your house to act as a check to your step daughter, since your wife can not be trusted to do a good job of that. Somebody she has to fear and respect. Maybe your mother, or sister or aunty, someone you trust that will not come and add petrol to the fire - a female family member. Someone that, as long as your step daughter knows that person is around, she will restrain herself. Its a temporary measure but crucial one for now - very crucial, seeing you are not always at home. It needs to be somebody even your wife will restrain herself. This step will cause strain with your relationship with your wife. But you have to let her know she has not handled things properly, so this is the only way you can be sure of what is going on under your roof. She willbe bitter about it sha but na condition make crayfish bend. Just reassure her that it is a temporary measure. Only you know how long it will be...keep that to your chest.

This will buy you time to draw all parties closer to you. Win your step daughters love and respect while not depriving your own children. Hopefully, if they are normal human beings and not diabolical, things will get better. if however diabolism is involved, you need God to step in or else, even your life is at stake.

Boldz:
Good evening all , I created this account because I desperately need advice from you guys.

My wife and I got married 6 years ago we both had children from a previous relationship , my daughter is 10 years old and my step daughter is 17 years it’s not that my wife is older than me but she just had her daughter when she was still in school which the father denied the pregnancy. I was married before but I lost my wife wife during the childbirth of our second child both mother and son didn’t survived, loosing my wife and baby was very hard for me I suffered from depression and blood pressure which I am on medications till now , I didn’t want to remarry but my family had pressured me to remarry so I can bear more children.

I met my wife 2 years after the death of my wife I knew her because she was working in a restaurant just closer to my workplace I was a regular customer , she told me about her child and I have accepted like my own child even before we got married I use to pay her school fee and buying her clothes just like a father can do for his daughter. My wife and I courted for 2 years we got married both traditional and church wedding and we are blessed with four beautiful children 2 boys and 2 girls.

My wife loves my daughter a lot just the same way I do love her daughter I take care of her I am paying her school fees , I buy her clothes , I sub her phone every week and I give her pocket money but I
Noticed that she doesn’t like my daughter she keep beating her even in my presence I have noticed how she talks to my daughter as if she is not a part of the family and my wife doesn’t scold her in fact she will blame my daughter for making her daughter angry and when I caution her my wife thinks I am harsh on her . I don’t flog her anymore but I do punish her by taking her phone away the last time I took her phone and keep
it for a month because of the same problem of her beating and being rude to my daughter but my wife was not happy but I didn’t care because I can watch my daughter being abuse in her own father house so I cautioned my step daughter.

I have been away since April I couldn’t come home because of the lockdown so I only return back 2 weeks ago , only to find her right eye was swollen , I asked my daughter what had happened to her she kept mute so I asked my wife she said she hit her head while they were playing and she said she had taken her to the hospital
And there’s nothing to worry about. The next day I was home playing with my children and was asking them how they been while I was away and just normal chats with the kids and my 5 years old son told me everything was bad because their big sister had been treating my daughter bad to the extend of punching her on her face so this swollen on her face was due to her punching her but my wife lied to me

So I called my step daughter since she was at home asking her why did she pinched her sister for and she told me my daughter insulted her and she has reported to my wife and she told her to beat her but I knew she was lying about the part that my daughter insulted her because my daughter doesn’t even insult in fact all my children knows that is not good to insult themselves including elders , so I asked my daughter my daughter said she didn’t insult her but it was my step daughter who was insulting her including her dead mother so my daughter gave her a dirty looks which made my step daughter to start hitting her even taught step daughter was trying to deny everything but I become angry and I had my belt next to me which I flogged her and took away her phone and have decided not to give her back anymore.

When my wife returned she got angry why did I flogged her daughter that my daughter is becoming very stubborn that her daughter as her older sister has the right to beat her we had quarrelled exchanging harsh words I told my wife her bastard of daughter has no right to insult my dead wife at least my daughter knows her mother is on the graveyard and what about her a bastard who doesn’t know where her sperm donor stays but she thinks she have the right to abuse my daughter in her own father house and I told her she will not longer stay in my house that she has to leave by next month and my wife said if her daughter leaves the same apply to my daughter too they should both stay or if her daughter leaves and my daughter stay she will show her hell

I reported her to her parents which her parents had agreed for her daughter to go and stay with her which she left yesterday being Sunday and my wife has given me the option to send my daughter to my parents in the village or to my sister in
Port harcourt or she will leave with the children . Have told her she is free to leave alone without my children but she is still threatening to leave when I am away from home last night we didn’t sleep she fought me all night saying my daughter must leave I almost hit her but I thank God I didn’t do it because it’s not my nature . Today she has started again but I have been ignoring her and if she continue I will arrest her and send her out of my house. How do I deal with her please

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

This is not the way Oga. Everyone looses like this..Everyone is angry now... many mistakes already made. Read my post before this. I was in similar shoes. And we came out on top. everyone in my family won both new wife and old children.

Korllami007:
I understand you jare.
The man should wait until the daughter blinds the two eyes before he takes action.

He is to take action..........right action .....that is progressive for the family
That's why I said he can take the child to his mother for some time.

No anger - peacefully tell her you will help her financially with the children till they turn 18. They are your little children. So make arrangements for the financial part of the 4 young ones.

Please go do vasectomy and stop bringing children into this world - see how you used your hands to create dysfunction? Six children under you and you've all created that horrible emotional cycle common in the society!
Stay away from woman! Focus on your children from now on Mr!

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

If this is the stage where you are now then let her go with the children.
IT IS NOT THE BEST DECISION FOR THE FAMILY but it can suffice for now.Your wife will get tired after some time and seek reconciliation.
My desire for you is that you reconcile all parties except you don't want the marriage again.Pray for wisdom to be able to do that.

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

I believe there's a better way to solve this

Would you really be okay if she goes with the kids, what if you expect she comes begging later on and she calls your bluff? Do you think the court will grant you custody of the children? Even if the court does, can you take care of 5 children yourself. Wouldn't it be better if you worked towards all of you living together happily .

Think about the ripple effect of your actions, if your wife was on this thread I would tell her same but since she's not here it you we will address .

Take note of the bolded below.

Wish you the best.

Sapore:
you are facing now- not that there were no . Its unfortunate you did not anticipate sibling problem coming. It was naive of you. Now the deed is already done. Bitter words have already been spoken that can never be forgotten even if forgiven. Its painful.

What you must not do, is to not send ANY of your children from your late wife away. Never never never ever try it. Those childrens' spirit will die and they will become what you will regret you ever gave birth to. Similarly, as i said, the deed is already done, YOU CANNOT SEND YOUR STEP DAUGHTER AWAY ALSO. There is nothing you can do on that. You all have to stay in the house and slug it out

But here is my counsel: Since I can not tell how godly your wife is, she is angry now, and angry women can say and do terrible things.

bring your step daughter back. apologise for ever calling her a bastard child - that was terrible of you. i know you were angry, i have said terrible things too when i and my wife quarrelled because of the children, but the thing is , I knew what i said was bad. So you MUST apologise for those terrible words. comfort all parties, wife, step daughter and your daughter. Resolve between you and your wife to stop saying "my children" "your daughter". That must stop

The final and the most crucial aspect of solving the problem in your home - you need to bring in somebody else to stay in your house to act as a check to your step daughter, since your wife can not be trusted to do a good job of that. Somebody she has to fear and respect. Maybe your mother, or sister or aunty, someone you trust that will not come and add petrol to the fire - a female family member. Someone that, as long as your step daughter knows that person is around, she will restrain herself. Its a temporary measure but crucial one for now - very crucial, seeing you are not always at home. It needs to be somebody even your wife will restrain herself. This step will cause strain with your relationship with your wife. But you have to let her know she has not handled things properly, so this is the only way you can be sure of what is going on under your roof. She willbe bitter about it sha but na condition make crayfish bend. Just reassure her that it is a temporary measure. Only you know how long it will be...keep that to your chest.

This will buy you time to draw all parties closer to you. Win your step daughters love and respect while not depriving your own children. Hopefully, if they are normal human beings and not diabolical, things will get better. if however diabolism is involved, you need God to step in or else, even your life is at stake.

thorpido:
He is to take action..........right action .....that is progressive for the family
That's why I said he can take the child to his mother for some time.

Noting progressive abt sending away the child. I've two small kids. God forbid anything happens to my Queen, i no go remarry, but if I do i can't imagine sending my child out of my home. The child belongs in her father's house. Removing the child from the home could be part of the woman's game plan all along, she may prevent the child from returning or brainwash op into refusing her return. So OP shouldn't give in to sending her away in the first place. Imagine her daughter punching the child, giving her a black eye and telling OP her daughter had the right to such. The mother may have joined in to beat the kid sef. OP himself isn't safe living the woman. In saner climate the abusers gets removed from the home n charged, while the child remains with the saner adult.

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

Listen to sapore and notopile advise
I don't honestly think u should have sent the
stepdaughter away,...do you also think letting your wife walk away with 4 kids is not too hasty?
With all due respect, the life of your daughter is as crucial as those 4 other kids..
Tempers are still flaring...but I believe if u can retrospect maybe u can find ways of handling things in a better way so nobody will loose...
Pls settle this matter amicably and peacefully(maybe u have tried that though)at least for the sake of those 4 innocent kids.
God bless.

mrNelsonT:
Noting progressive abt sending away the child. I've two small kids. God forbid anything happens to my Queen, i no go remarry, but if I do i can't imagine sending my child out of my home. The child belongs in her father's house. Removing the child from the home could be part of the women's game plan all along, she may prevent the child from returning or brainwash op into refusing her return. So OP shouldn't give in to sending her away in the first place. Imagine her daughter punching the child, giving
her a black eye and telling OP her daughter had
the right to such. The mother may have joined in to beat the kid sef. OP himself isn't safe living the woman. In saner climate the abusers gets removed from the home n charged, while the child remains with the saner adult.

Ur emotion is just running high bro...do you also consider the emotional impact of leaving the house with their mother or their mother leaving them behind will also have on the other innocent 4 kids?
Should we save one kid to sacrifice 4?
I hate verbal and physical maltreatment like shi
But I believed the op can still handle things better.