Please, I need your positive comments. I'm the only son of my parents after six girls. My mother pampers me a lot and guard me like mother hen. She always want me to be near her. She always want to control my life, choose what I should do and what I shouldn't do. What I should wear and I what I shouldn't wear. Anytime I disagree with her intensely over her control of my life. She will cry and guilt talk me into accepting her own ways by telling me that they looked for a male child for a long time uh and later God bless her by giving me to her after many years. She will remind me how her husband parents looked at her like she had failed before God bless her with me. All my elder sisters always support her controlling of my life. My dad supports her too. All the school I went to, she make sure that it was close to her, from primary school to university. After my first degree, I move to another state to pursue a second degree in law. She supported the idea because the university which is in Calabar is near to the state where my family stays. They stay in Uyo. Now I'm in year three and since the lockdown, I have began to learn things like barbing and driving which will not be possible if I'm still near her as she believed that she and my dad will find a job for me at Uyo when I finished my schooling. To cut the long story short, she don't want me to do anything apart from schooling and after that I have to come back to Uyo to work. But I have different perspective, I want to establish my own businesses like barbing and fishery. Currently I'm learning barbing but she has began to nag me about when I'm coming back to Uyo for Christmas since school will not resume this year again. She said my sisters and my dad are also worried that I should come home and be with them. Please how do I convince her that I have become a man, that I have ideas I want to develop? How do I convince her that I will not be home for Christmas without causing any family quarrels? Please advice me, help a brother out. Thank you.

MODIFIED
I posted on behalf of a friend and neighbor. For those asking, I'm a female and this is my moniker. Thanks to everyone who responded. I'm grateful.

Anyway you are the Jewel of her eyes moving out is easy just rent a house on the same street close to her.... You probably don't know the magnitude of shaming she received before you better still do quick and give her a grand child.

butterfly55:
Please, I need your positive comments. I'm the only son of my parents after six girls. My mother pampers me a lot and guard me like mother hen. She always want me to be near her. She always want to control my life, choose what I should do and what I shouldn't do. What I should wear and I what I shouldn't wear. Anytime I disagree with her intensely over her control of my life. She will cry and guilt talk me into accepting her own ways by telling me that they looked for a male child for a long time and later God bless her by giving me to her after many years. She will remind me how her husband parents looked at her like she had failed before God bless her with me. All my elder sisters always support her controlling of my life. My dad supports her too. All the school I went to, she make sure that it was close to her, from primary school to university. After my first degree, I move to another state to pursue a second degree in law. She supported the idea because the university which is in Calabar is near to the state where my family stays. They stay in Uyo. Now I'm in year three and since the lockdown, I have began to learn things like barbing and driving which will not be possible if I'm still near her as she believed that she and my dad will find a job for me at Uyo when I finished my schooling. To cut the long story short, she don't want me to do anything apart from schooling and after that I have to come back to Uyo to work. But I have different perspective, I want to establish my own businesses like barbing and fishery. Currently I'm learning barbing but she has began to nag me about when I'm coming back to Uyo for Christmas since school will not resume this year again. She said my sisters and my dad are also worried that I should come home and be with them. Please how do I convince her that I have become a man, that I have ideas I want to develop? How do I convince her that I will not be home for Christmas without causing any family quarrels? Please advice me, help a brother out. Thank you.

let me hear word your so weak and I hate it am the only son of my father too and so what the only reason keeping is because I don't have a steady income ...you gave your mom the power to control u like a baby .....you got too man up before they ruin your life for you with their decision which may not suit your life ...

The decision is still yours to make. At times you don't need to try convincing someone who will never be convinced, no matter how hard you try.

The love she has for you will never let mommy be convinced so don't bother

dogmart:
The decision is still yours to make. At times you don't need to try convincing someone who will never be convinced, no matter how hard you try.

The love she has for you will never let mommy be convinced so don't bother

u said it all she will never be convince that y he as to man up ....this same family we be the first to blast you if you fail to achieved nothing in life ....

Ok you want to stay alone so u can be packing girls ba

you are a guy and you are using a female moniker

You need just make them understand that you will appreciate everyone respecting your choice going forward since you bare the consequences of your decisions. It shouldn't involve argument or back and forth. Just be assertive in stating your position.

butterfly55:
Please, I need your positive comments. I'm the only son of my parents after six girls. My mother pampers me a lot and guard me like mother hen. She always want me to be near her. She always want to control my life, choose what I should do and what I shouldn't do. What I should wear and I what I shouldn't wear. Anytime I disagree with her intensely over her control of my life. She will cry and guilt talk me into accepting her own ways by telling me that they looked for a male child for a long time and later God bless her by giving me to her after many years. She will remind me how her husband parents looked at her like she had failed before God bless her with me. All my elder sisters always support her controlling of my life. My dad supports her too. All the school I went to, she make sure that it was close to her, from primary school to university. After my first degree, I move to another state to pursue a second degree in law. She supported the idea because the university which is in Calabar is near to the state where my family stays. They stay in Uyo. Now I'm in year three and since the lockdown, I have began to learn things like barbing and driving which will not be possible if I'm still near her as she believed that she and my dad will find a job for me at Uyo when I finished my schooling. To cut the long story short, she don't want me to do anything apart from schooling and after that I have to come back to Uyo to work. But I have different perspective, I want to establish my own businesses like barbing and fishery. Currently I'm learning barbing but she has began to nag me about when I'm coming back to Uyo for Christmas since school will not resume this year again. She said my sisters and my dad are also worried that I should come home and be with them. Please how do I convince her that I have become a man, that I have ideas I want to develop? How do I convince her that I will not be home for Christmas without causing any family quarrels? Please advice me, help a brother out. Thank you.

Which one should we believe??

I mean are there 2 or 3 people operating your account
Your matter just tire person

Kestolove:
Ok you want to stay alone so u can be packing girls ba

If he pack girls what is your business in it? Some of his mate has married at 28



No go mind your business #nonsense

Albertone:
Which one should we believe??

I mean are there 2 or 3 people operating your account
Your matter just tire person

The Ops is mad

butterfly55:
Please, I need your positive comments. I'm the only son of my parents after six girls. My mother pampers me a lot and guard me like mother hen. She always want me to be near her. She always want to control my life, choose what I should do and what I shouldn't do. What I should wear and I what I shouldn't wear. Anytime I disagree with her intensely over her control of my life. She will cry and guilt talk me into accepting her own ways by telling me that they looked for a male child for a long time and later God bless her by giving me to her after many years. She will remind me how her husband parents looked at her like she had failed before God bless her with me. All my elder sisters always support her controlling of my life. My dad supports her too. All the school I went to, she make sure that it was close to her, from primary school to university. After my first degree, I move to another state to pursue a second degree in law. She supported the idea because the university which is in Calabar is near to the state where my family stays. They stay in Uyo. Now I'm in year three and since the lockdown, I have began to learn things like barbing and driving which will not be possible if I'm still near her as she believed that she and my dad will find a job for me at Uyo when I finished my schooling. To cut the long story short, she don't want me to do anything apart from schooling and after that I have to come back to Uyo to work. But I have different perspective, I want to establish my own businesses like barbing and fishery. Currently I'm learning barbing but she has began to nag me about when I'm coming back to Uyo for Christmas since school will not resume this year again. She said my sisters and my dad are also worried that I should come home and be with them. Please how do I convince her that I have become a man, that I have ideas I want to develop? How do I convince her that I will not be home for Christmas without causing any family quarrels? Please advice me, help a brother out. Thank you.

For everything you are doing with your family, you must consider them especially your mother if not, she will develop heart break and you will be the one to suffer it more because you put her through such

She sees you as her light and life, pls try and play along

You don't know how much she cherish you as her only son even more than her husband

You are the reason she is living happily

Don't be surprise at their protection on you

You owe her a duty to be calling her every day or alternate days

You have to for the time being be close to them and that doesn't mean they will be the one to decide or design your life

The same eyes she sees you the day you were born is the same eyes she will be seeing you

You can only have a little break once you get married and have children that will keep them busy

Mind you she will still influence your marriage along with your sisters so bear that in mind

You have to travel to see and be with her this Christmas if yih want her to be happy

Failing to do so, be prepared to blame yourself if she breaks down

If yih feel you want to pack out the you will have to present to her a woman you want to marry and lucky you if they accept her without rejection, then after marriage, you can now pack out

Pls like I said, play along with all of them for national peace at home and for you too

Give her grand children and she will have less time for you

If you must pack out, pack close to your neighborhood so that she can access you pls

Simple...give girl belle

Do not bother convincing thrm. .find a place p, financie your self and move.

If they do not see you in 20 year, they will learnyto deal with it

Get married and start a family

bularuz:
Get married and start a family

Hoping the wife won't be treated as a second wife.

Why is your moniker sounding female and saying that you are female also? Did you open an account as a female? Why did you do so?

Over protectiveness (also known as helicopter parenting) is a prime example of "inverse consequences", and it is that you can't protect people, but make them strong. Firstly, you do not negotiate your freedom, you just leave. Its left for her to accept the new reality, and understand that she can't be a protector forever.

Helicopter parenting is detrimental in a sense that "she can't stop the snake from entering the garden, because it will enter, but she can equip you with the skills to defend yourself. So in an attempt to protect you, she makes you incompetent and undermines your individual growth. Parenthood is like apprenticeship, where a guardian see a child through metamorphosis where they become independent, not a bodyguard where they are protected until death.

Also, and most importantly, you have to be independent in a way that you become strong enough to rescue yourself and your family when the flood comes, and the flood will come. For example, every parent pray that their child lives after them, which implies that their child will have to bury them. So if you do not cut off and grow independently now to deal with life challenges, you will be flushed away when the storm comes, instead of floating on it, and that is a recipe for meaningless suffering.

You want to be that guy who can support his parents when the power dynamic shifts, a time when you'll become the torch bearer, the navigator and the frame they use to see through life. You can't be this if you're not independent. Cut off now, its a matter of urgency. If you don't, you will not only punish them, but you'll punish yourself and set yourself up for failure. Parents should be like an airport, where a child refuel, repair and launch back into the sky to fly, not a permanent parking place, where they stay and rot away.

Thanks so much to everyone that contributed. You won't know it but you just planted a seed of confident and hope.

For those asking why a male is using my moniker, please I'm a female and it's still my moniker but I posted this on behalf of a very good friend, and he has read all the comments. The advice refreshed him and give him some resilience to man up and prepare to handle whatever the storm that will come from his people. You won't know it but the situation bothers him and I've never seen a shoulder stoop so low with sadness.

Thank you all from the depth of my heart.

butterfly55:
Please, I need your positive comments. I'm the only son of my parents after six girls. My mother pampers me a lot and guard me like mother hen. She always want me to be near her. She always want to control my life, choose what I should do and what I shouldn't do. What I should wear and I what I shouldn't wear. Anytime I disagree with her intensely over her control of my life. She will cry and guilt talk me into accepting her own ways by telling me that they looked for a male child for a long time and later God bless her by giving me to her after many years. She will remind me how her husband parents looked at her like she had failed before God bless her with me. All my elder sisters always support her controlling of my life. My dad supports her too. All the school I went to, she make sure that it was close to her, from primary school to university. After my first degree, I move to another state to pursue a second degree in law. She supported the idea because the university which is in Calabar is near to the state where my family stays. They stay in Uyo. Now I'm in year three and since the lockdown, I have began to learn things like barbing and driving which will not be possible if I'm still near her as she believed that she and my dad will find a job for me at Uyo when I finished my schooling. To cut the long story short, she don't want me to do anything apart from schooling and after that I have to come back to Uyo to work. But I have different perspective, I want to establish my own businesses like barbing and fishery. Currently I'm learning barbing but she has began to nag me about when I'm coming back to Uyo for Christmas since school will not resume this year again. She said my sisters and my dad are also worried that I should come home and be with them. Please how do I convince her that I have become a man, that I have ideas I want to develop? How do I convince her that I will not be home for Christmas without causing any family quarrels? Please advice me, help a brother out. Thank you.

It has affected you badly, that you also used female "monical" on nairaland, I guess ur sister Monica open nairaland for you too that was why she forgot you are male and not female.

faithfull18:

Hoping the wife won't be treated as a second wife.

Yes she will be treated as even 3rd wife

frozen70:


For everything you are doing with your family, you must consider them especially your mother if not, she will develop heart break and you will be the one to suffer it more because you put her through such

She sees you as her light and life, pls try and play along

You don't know how much she cherish you as her inky son even more than her husband

You are the reason she is living happily

Don't be surprise at their protection on you

You owe her a duty to be calling her every day or alternate days

You have to for the time being be close to them and that doesn't mean they will be the one to decide or design your life

The same eyes she sees you the day you were born is the same eyes she will be seeing you

You can only have a little break once you get married and have children that will keep them busy

Mind you she will still influence your marriage along with your sisters so bear that in mind

You have to travel to see and be with her this Christmas if yih want her to be happy

Failing to do so, be prepared to blame yourself if she breaks down

If yih feel you want to pack out the you will have to present to her a woman you want to marry and lucky you if they accept her without rejection, then after marriage, you can now pack out

Pls like I said, play along with all of them for national peace at home and for you too

Give her grand children and she will have less time for you

If you must pack out, pack close to your neighborhood so that she can access you pls

Arrant nonsense. Never seen so much crap spewed elsewhere��‍♂️

Coefficient:


Arrant nonsense. Never seen so much crap spewed elsewhere��‍♂️

I know your brain is empty

Fvck up

butterfly55:
Thanks so much to everyone that contributed. You won't know it but you just planted a seed of confident and hope.

For those asking why a male is using my moniker, please I'm a female and it's still my moniker but I posted this on behalf of a very good friend, and he has read all the comments. The advice refreshed him and give him some resilience to man up and prepare to handle whatever the storm that will come from his people. You won't know it but the situation bothers him and I've never seen a shoulder stoop so low with sadness.

Thank you all from the depth of my heart.

.

Which kain lie be this?
Are u in anyway related to this man

By getting a job far away from your parents.if possible in another state