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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband (1612 Views)
You Can’t Get 50% Of Husband’s Properties After A Divorce in Nigeria - Lawyer / I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. / "My Wife’s Beauty Makes Me Sleepless, I Want A Divorce" - Zimbabwea Man To Judge (2) (3) (4)
My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Kuns84(m): 5:06pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
I know people may despise what I'm about to say about my mother inlaw, but this is the kindest way I can express the truth; my mother-inlaw possesses all the traits of a NARCISSIST and is extremely abusive towards everyone around her.. Things are so bad that my wife alongside her siblings have all turned against their mother as she is extremely vicious, malicious and won't stop causing chaos in their personal lives - my marriage is also inclusive of this. I've always tried to be polite and respectful towards my mother inlaw despite the tempestuous relationship between her and my wife and I'm often the victim of back and forth tug-of-wars between them. However, the biggest victim in this situation is my aging Father in-law who has spent several years of his life in total servitude to his overbearing wife and now approaching 70, is finally trying to leave an abusive situation by filling for divorce. We his children are very supportive of this decision as it's so painful to watch this kind, calm frail man who has always been a jolly father and grandfather (despite his terrible marriage), now become a shadow of himself. My mother inlaw seems to be getting worse with age - she openly expresses her hatred for him, calls him a weakling, mistreats him, but yet refuses to leave his house because according to her, he will die soon and she won't allow him marry another woman who would come and take this house from her - this house is the only house my Father inlaw has to his name and cannot afford to lose it (he built this house as a single man before marrying my wife's mother). I've held a meeting with my wife and her siblings to find out if their father ever did something wrong to deserve such treatment from his wife (their mother) but it seems his biggest offence was trying to divorce her a few months into the marriage after getting to know her true character. She refused to leave back then and they went on to have 4 children. However, when things became unbearable, he successfully separated from her by moving abroad for some years. She went on to leave her children under the care of several family members in a bid to go locate him abroad then forced herself back into his life through the help of family members who pleaded on her behalf. Once they reunited, they returned back to Nigeria where her mental, emotional and physical abuse began again but this time was supported by my wife and her siblings who were kids at the time and were lied to that their father was a deadbeat who ran away with a white woman abroad, so they naturally took sides with their mother whenever there was a fight - until they began to grow up to realise how manipulative and abusive their mother has been all these years. The bone of contention right now is that my wife has moved her father into our house as she can no longer stomach the sheer wickedness being metted out to him by her mother who has still insisted on not leaving this man alone. My father -inlaw desperately wants her out of his life but is quite depressed at the thought of losing his house to his soon to be ex-wife. Please help this is affecting my wife and her siblings so much - and because of the close bond we all share, it's beginning to affect me too. How can we get her out of his life and out of his house for good please. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Righteousness89(m): 5:13pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
The Truth is that your FIL is her Husband! It's unfortunate she does all the evils u put out here! It's Good that you Have your FIL in your place. The only you guys can do now is put your MIL in Prayers. GOD Almighty knows How best to settle things as these.. 1 Like |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by thorpido(m): 5:17pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
How will he lose his house to her?Is the house abroad? |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by spinna: 5:29pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
Sorry bro just indulge me.. What tribe are this couple? 2 Likes |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Juliusmomoh: 5:43pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
Every story has two(2) side... Make we hear your mother in-law own again... 4 Likes |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Klass99(f): 6:35pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by LadySarah: 7:45pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
This life no balance at all. The woman learnt well from men. |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Kuns84(m): 7:49pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
LadySarah: I didn't create this thread for childish gender debates/comparisons from you and your ilks please. Grow up. 11 Likes |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Kuns84(m): 7:50pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
spinna: Yoruba - but why does it matter 1 Like |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by LadySarah: 7:52pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
Kuns84: be careful my friend. 1 Like |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by baby124: 7:52pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
His family members should get him out of that house first. Then get someone to change the keys of the house, when she goes out. Inform her family members that they should make space for her. He will just die for nothing or end up killing her and spend the rest of his life in prison. Don’t take in such mother in law sha because, she will destroy your home and turn you to a shell of yourself. Let her go and stay with those family members who begged for her. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by crackhaus: 8:14pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
thorpido:Good question, cos me too I'm wondering where/how a man will lose his house (a house he even built before marriage) to his wife in Nigeria. Perhaps the FIL is really as powerless as the story portrays. 4 Likes |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by mariahAngel(f): 8:30pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
Is the monster in-law that powerful that nobody has been able to ground her even in old age? She must be a witch! Olori egbe for that matter, because na definitely something dey give her that kind liver That's one of the major problem of being too culturally respectful .... respecting even the abusive/disrespectful because they're "elders" How is she even sure she will outlive her husband? Unless she plans to kill him eventually 2 Likes |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Klass99(f): 8:36pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by ekemma55511: 9:14pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
This life no balance at all. The woman learnt well from men. |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by thorpido(m): 9:17pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
baby124:This kind person you want to change locks for? In less than 30mins,she's back to the house with 2 carpenters to pull down the doors. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by baby124: 11:26pm On Nov 28, 2020 |
thorpido:Well he owned the house before marriage. He can ensure security to prevent her from access Into the house. He should also pack a few things she will need and even money to help her with relocation. Then in future, request a few relatives of hers to come and carry the rest of her things well packaged outside the gate. At the end of the day, it’s up to him if he wants to live for his children and, enjoy the fruits of his labor. If he makes up his mind, no amount of begging from her will stop him. If she tries to pull the door, when she sleeps in jail a few nights she will respect herself. She cannot do this with a crazy/strong willed man. As the wife is doing all she can to kill him before his time to inherit. Some times you have to think of self love, when people are trying to deprive you of your peace! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Depressed101: 7:40am On Nov 29, 2020 |
Klass99:only your last statement made sense |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by thorpido(m): 9:57am On Nov 29, 2020 |
baby124:Unfortunately,the man is the opposite of a strong willed man hence the troubles.He will need external help like the courts. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Chiquitq(f): 3:51pm On Nov 29, 2020 |
You are all still under the manipulation of the said woman. He does not need to divorce her at all. Is the house not truly his? Are the papers not in his name? I have so many ideas but too lazy to type. You should be more dramatic in your approach. It's such a simple matter but the woman has gotten into your systems. I understand the manipulation though. |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Viktor1983(m): 12:00pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Righteousness89: Prayers can't cure narcissist personality disorder.. I've dated a girl with NPD. The best thing is No Contact |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Viktor1983(m): 12:01pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
thorpido: Strong-willed? Have u ever experienced gaslighting, love bombing, projections, or mirroring? It has nothing to do with being strong willed |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Nobody: 12:17pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
-ask your wife 'n her siblings to secretly find the their mother another home -get some boxes ready to pack all her things in -when she goes out change all the keys\locks -give her the new address |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by sisisioge: 12:28pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
But this matter is simple o. If he really wants her out of his life he should go to court. They will at least institute a separation before the divorce is final. You guys are enablers, all these razz craze people become docile in the face of law jare, stop strengthening her biko.Hian! 1 Like |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Righteousness89(m): 1:03pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Viktor1983: What u do not value cannot work for you.. Prayer in the Name of JESUS is the Highest Force that Brings Divinity to intervene in Earthly matters.. Prayer Works/ Cures ALL things.. |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Viktor1983(m): 3:33pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Righteousness89: My ex is an astute member of her church. At a point babe carries me along for evangelism and ls very prayerful. NPD is an ugly psychological condition. There's nothing I can write here to change your mindset. |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by cricifixo: 3:44pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
He said they are yoruba...oya please we are waiting for ur contribution oga tribe checker spinna: 1 Like |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by Righteousness89(m): 3:55pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Viktor1983:If you Like let u and your Ex sleep inside Church, it does not Change the Efficacy and Power in prayer!! |
Re: My Abusive Mother In-law Refuses To Grant A Divorce To Her Depressed Husband by englois: 9:14pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
If you really want quick quick answer, why not rent out the house or better still sell it. The FIL can use the proceeds to get another place 1 Like |
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