₦airaland Forum

Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:
3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.

I had to stop you here... If she says no, you stop. Women have succeeded to document rape in marriage as offence under the law. As a man you can rape your wife in court. If she says no, bro take your prick out and dress up, if you no finish, masturbate it out in the bathroom. If she asks why you stopped as her if she's stupid to say no and still want it. Cause it's only people who are with dementia will say no to something and still want it.

Marital rape or whatever they're calling it now, can ruin you as a man. It's not a matter of being man enough... Abeg to avoid stories that touches.

Redpilled and not going back

shedomains:
judgeing from your write up here you sound like a guy in his mid fifties ,now i understand better the older generation i cant expect less.so hold tight to the wife of your youth cause all the shits you have been typeing ends with your generation ,generation 60 ,if not the ladies of today go change am for you .

This is not a matter of age or era. My age is irrelevant. The same Sun that is shining over our heads today, is the same Sun that shined over other people's heads 5000 years ago. Same way there are some facts in life that are applicable regardless of the generation involved. 1,000 years ago, women fell for rich men. Today women still fall for rich men. 1,000 years from now women will still fall for rich men.

That number 6, not many guys would understand.I swear I can't do half the work my wife does. She has been working since morning, It's past 9pm and she's still working. I'm not forcing her to do all these things, neither does she ever complain. I just became so lazy since I got married. I remember how I used to fantasise about how me and my wife would be doing stuff together when I get married. Girlfriend/boyfriend no be the same as marriage I tell you. Women( or maybe some) strong pass men,no be lie.

ModestGal:
Useless post to belittle women
Only dumb people would think twice about the rubbish you wrote, irritating post

He is telling the truth why are you pained? Marriage favors women alot we need to enjoy our single life

crackhaus:
Isn't this sex without consent, something they call marital rape?

I'm surprised the thread has gone this far and none of our resident woke girls (some already present) identified this error.

The point was noted though...
Females could be quite confused about what they really want or what they really mean.

I saw it and I have pointed out and I didn't know someone has already pointed it out. I was surprised no woke girl saw that error. Na wa oh

shedomains:
it is more of a man responsibility to build his home than the woman take home this truth and thank me in future.
this your mentality is the reason many marriages are falling apart.

Are you married and for how many years? Mine will be 8 years in December, so I'm talking from experience.

If a man treats his wife well,the wife will respect him and submit to him most times.

Try to always buy gift for your wife...it can be anything ,they love their husband to buy gift for them.

My wife prefer I buy cloths for her,she said the cloths I bought for her fits her very well than those she bought by herself.

If you have a little kid, Always help in carrying the baby anytime you are home to allow your wife to rest,help out in home chores,It won't make you less of a man...Your kids will learn a lot from that.

Always take your family out, maybe last Saturday of every Month....I do not have timetable for that,I can take them out 2 times in month.

Do not always disturb your wife for sex,watch her body language sometimes.

Play with your wife always in the house,touch her romantically,press boobs romantically sometimes even in the kitchen,don't let the love fade away completely bc of child birth or bc she added weight.

in all,learn how to compromise.

Marriage is not as hard as many people believe,The problem most times are too much argument over little things, Ego ,and other minor issues.

I am heading to 10 years now, nothing has changed.

She was very pretty and slim then....but now she has added some flesh and look more beautiful.

most times when you are at peace with your wife,the home will be peaceful and enjoyable..... marriage will be sweet.

@ englov.. I would like to think you may be fortunate, you and your spouse.

Matrimony is more spiritual than anything and the amount of happiness, relative peace of mind and longevity in matrimony is hugely dependent on the amount of good fortune thats been accumulated by each party in times past.

Sadly more than 80% ot humanity are in this life to be unfortunate in matrimony. To suffer deep pain and torment. cos they must pay what they owe. This has nothing to do with how iintelligent or smart anyone is to fix things..Its a lost case there..
Have a taste of your own medicine first..

Patience
A man must be patient in all dealings with the wife. If angry, wall away or count up to 20!

DexterousOne:
A man who really loves his wife wont be doing what will hurt her seriously
And sleeping with multiple women recklessly will definitely hurt her when she finds out

So how can you love someone and at the same time be consumed in debauchery?

It's the same way a woman who respects her husband will not be collecting material stuffs from other men anyhow without regards for her husband, and how he may feel about it
Someone you love
You wont brazenly do what will hurt that person

A man is a man, he is human, he makes mistakes from time to time. A man and a woman ARE NOT WIRED the same way. Our fundamental programming is different. And when it comes to "love", even our interpretation and how we deal and relate with love is different. A man can truly love his wife and still sleep with another woman outside. This is the truth, it might sound a bit weird or perplexing for those who think on the surface. But any deep thinker knows, this is a reality.

Another area where our wiring is different is sex. Usually, for a "normal" woman, her emotions must be involved before she has sex with you. You must cross that emotional BARRIER, you must CONNECT with her emotionally before she will open her cookie jar. That's the way women are wired. But a man is different. THERE IS NO EMOTIONAL BARRIER, you don't have to connect with his emotions to have sex with him. That's the way our wiring is. A man's connection point is his 5 senses, once a woman can connect there, the sexual urge of a man is unleashed, and you can easily eat his sausage, he will hardly resist.

A woman is also wired to have more control over her urge for sex than a man is, this is the truth. And the more people understand the differences, the more we can work out an equation that suits both parties when they are in a relationship. This is one of the reasons why it is evil for a woman to sex starve her husband, because any small touch or small sight seeing of his wife's sexy body, he can get aroused and he's not wired to tame those urges for too long and put it inside his pocket.

But if a woman isn't feeling the emotional connection with her husband, she can easily lockup her urges and stay away from having sex with him. If he likes, let him walk naked in the room and she sees him, she's not moved, if he likes let him have six packs with hairy chest, so far her emotions have shutdown, she can abstain from having sex with him as long as she likes. Because women are wired to have a more control of their urges than men.

So it's not always about debauchery that pushes a man outside. Sometimes, it's just because his wife lacks that understanding of how a man's sexual wiring works and she pushed him outside with her on/off switch of sexual denial. That's why a man should really pay attention when he's dating a woman. If she weaponizes sex and uses it against you as a girlfriend, it will only get worse in marriage. Don't marry a woman that uses sex as a weapon to get at you because she will use sex starving you as a punishment or bargaining chip, and you either have the option of dancing to her tune or go Alpha mode and get some juice outside. It's not a pretty situation, morality speaking, but that's life, sh*t happens!

Openbusiness:
A man is a man, he is human, he makes mistakes from time to time. A man and a woman ARE NOT WIRED the same way. Our fundamental programming is different. And when it comes to "love", even our interpretation and how we deal and relate with love is different. A man can truly love his wife and still sleep with another woman outside. This is the truth, it might sound a bit weird or perplexing for those who think on the surface. But any deep thinker knows, this is a reality.

Another area where our wiring is different is sex. Usually, for a "normal" woman, her emotions must be involved before she has sex with you. You must cross that emotional BARRIER, you must CONNECT with her emotionally before she will open her cookie jar. That's the way women are wired. But a man is different. THERE IS NO EMOTIONAL BARRIER, you don't have to connect with his emotions to have sex with him. That's the way our wiring is. A man's connection point is his 5 senses, once a woman can connect there, the sexual urge of a man is unleashed, and you can easily eat his sausage, he will hardly resist.

A woman is also wired to have more control over her urge for sex than a man is, this is the truth. And the more people understand the differences, the more we can work out an equation that suits both parties when they are in a relationship. This is one of the reasons why it is evil for a woman to sex starve her husband, because any small touch or small sight seeing of his wife's sexy body, he can get aroused and he's not wired to tame those urges for too long and put it inside his pocket.

But if a woman isn't feeling the emotional connection with her husband, she can easily lockup her urges and stay away from having sex with him. If he likes, let him walk naked in the room and she sees him, she's not moved, if he likes let him have six packs with hairy chest, so far her emotions have shutdown, she can abstain from having sex with him as long as he likes. Because women are wired to have a beer control of their urges than men.

So it's not always about debauchery that pushes a man outside. Sometimes, it's just because his wife lacks that understanding of how a man's sexual wiring works and she pushed him outside with her on/off switch of sexual denial. That's why a man should really pay attention when he's dating a woman. If she weaponizes sex and uses it against you as a girlfriend, it will only get worse in marriage. Don't marry a woman that uses sex as a weapon to get at you because she will use sex starving you as a punishment or bargaining chip, and you either have the option of dancing to her tune or go Alpha mode and get some juice outside. It's not a pretty situation, morality speaking, but that's life, sh*t happens!

Okay
I have heard you

Nice write up

Openbusiness:
A man is a man, he is human, he makes mistakes from time to time. A man and a woman ARE NOT WIRED the same way. Our fundamental programming is different. And when it comes to "love", even our interpretation and how we deal and relate with love is different. A man can truly love his wife and still sleep with another woman outside. This is the truth, it might sound a bit weird or perplexing for those who think on the surface. But any deep thinker knows, this is a reality.

Another area where our wiring is different is sex. Usually, for a "normal" woman, her emotions must be involved before she has sex with you. You must cross that emotional BARRIER, you must CONNECT with her emotionally before she will open her cookie jar. That's the way women are wired. But a man is different. THERE IS NO EMOTIONAL BARRIER, you don't have to connect with his emotions to have sex with him. That's the way our wiring is. A man's connection point is his 5 senses, once a woman can connect there, the sexual urge of a man is unleashed, and you can easily eat his sausage, he will hardly resist.

A woman is also wired to have more control over her urge for sex than a man is, this is the truth. And the more people understand the differences, the more we can work out an equation that suits both parties when they are in a relationship. This is one of the reasons why it is evil for a woman to sex starve her husband, because any small touch or small sight seeing of his wife's sexy body, he can get aroused and he's not wired to tame those urges for too long and put it inside his pocket.

But if a woman isn't feeling the emotional connection with her husband, she can easily lockup her urges and stay away from having sex with him. If he likes, let him walk naked in the room and she sees him, she's not moved, if he likes let him have six packs with hairy chest, so far her emotions have shutdown, she can abstain from having sex with him as long as she likes. Because women are wired to have a more control of their urges than men.

So it's not always about debauchery that pushes a man outside. Sometimes, it's just because his wife lacks that understanding of how a man's sexual wiring works and she pushed him outside with her on/off switch of sexual denial. That's why a man should really pay attention when he's dating a woman. If she weaponizes sex and uses it against you as a girlfriend, it will only get worse in marriage. Don't marry a woman that uses sex as a weapon to get at you because she will use sex starving you as a punishment or bargaining chip, and you either have the option of dancing to her tune or go Alpha mode and get some juice outside. It's not a pretty situation, morality speaking, but that's life, sh*t happens!

This is a pure excuse for marital infidelity. Yes, man is wired differently and get aroused at the sight of a naked woman, but does it mean that the dick must be put in a hole every time it's aroused? What happened to self-control? You can claim to love your wife and still be sleeping around.

udemzyudex:
Lol.. Abeg who we go come marry ooo?

A woman will say the same thing you post, marry a man that loves you more, don't settle for 50/50 lol.

Na wa oooo

Exactly
Both men and women say the same thing
I believe everyone should show love to the other partner

Many women would not near man that doesn't show them love
In fact the sensible ones will shi.t test you to know whether you are worth it.

If a woman finds out you really love her, she will go the extra mile.
Many of them are really scared of things they hear about marriage so will be cautious

But when they discover the exceptional person you are, they will go out to love you even more.

But all these is based on you dealing with a sensible wise woman. not the manipulative, non straight forward type

Number 3 is plan stupidity. Make no woman try that with me again. A lady once blocked me cos I stop as we were making out. I like am that way before dem say i rape them.

beautiful piece... now to marry don dey hungry me.!!!

babajeje123:
This is a pure excuse for marital infidelity. Yes, man is wired differently and get aroused at the sight of a naked woman, but does it mean that the dick must be put in a hole every time it's aroused? What happened to self-control? You can claim to love your wife and still be sleeping around.

I'm not justifying anything. I'm not approving or disapproving. My post is not about morality or advocacy for infidelity. If you want to talk morality, then that's another entirely different SUBJECT. This current subject is "marry a woman who loves you more than you love her", simple!

Ikennamurphy:
This your number 3 doesn't make sense.. If you're a woman reading this, stop this nonsense, we're all humans and not mind readers, say exactly what u mean to your spouse and stop suffering him for no reason to understand what u mean,.. I still believe is an immature gal that will say no and mean yes..

E be like say you never know women?
What he said is true
Very complicated beings
But that's the enigma that makes the whole thing interesting
If you understand there actions more

Openbusiness:
Absolutely wrong! Marriage is essentially = family = home making. When it comes to a home / marriage working, a woman's role is more suited to keeping a marriage together. Women are more emotional than men, therefore a woman's emotions should be more invested in a marriage than a man's emotions, otherwise there will be crisis eventually.

For example, look at marriages in the past and marriages today. For our parents or ancestors marriages, it was common to find marriages like 50, 60 years old marriages, but marriages today hardly last. The older generations their marriages worked not because they were perfect or the husband didn't have flaws or was always wealthy etc. It worked because women of the past generations were more emotionally invested in their marriages than the men, and this kept the marriage goes even when they had storms in their relationships.

If the man failed to provide, their wives didn't just walk away, or find another richer boyfriend outside. No, they stayed and endured the poverty with their husbands. Some of them their husbands would beat them, but they didn't divorce, they went through that phase, even if it was a lot of pain, they stuck through it all to work out their marriage at all costs. Why? Because they were more emotionally invested in the marriage. They loved their husbands more.

But women who are not more emotional invested, usually at the first sight of any ish, they jump ship. They are already always packed and ready in their minds, just waiting for any opportunity to jump ship and not put in the work to keep their marriage together. Everything must be rosy or they jump ship. But a woman who is more emotionally invested, she is like a Captain, she will rather sink with her ship. She will stay and put in the work to make her marriage work.

i agree! Submission is also easier from a Woman when she loves more.
Women are emotionally complex and their reaction in relationship is not just how they are treated, reason why a lady can describe his love interest or partner as a nice guy, and go ahead and say she does not love him because she is too nice. She can end up cheating with a riff raff who clearly does not like her.

Openbusiness:
Absolutely wrong! Marriage is essentially = family = home making. When it comes to a home / marriage working, a woman's role is more suited to keeping a marriage together. Women are more emotional than men, therefore a woman's emotions should be more invested in a marriage than a man's emotions, otherwise there will be crisis eventually.

For example, look at marriages in the past and marriages today. For our parents or ancestors marriages, it was common to find marriages like 50, 60 years old marriages, but marriages today hardly last. The older generations their marriages worked not because they were perfect or the husband didn't have flaws or was always wealthy etc. It worked because women of the past generations were more emotionally invested in their marriages than the men, and this kept the marriage goes even when they had storms in their relationships.

If the man failed to provide, their wives didn't just walk away, or find another richer boyfriend outside. No, they stayed and endured the poverty with their husbands. Some of them their husbands would beat them, but they didn't divorce, they went through that phase, even if it was a lot of pain, they stuck through it all to work out their marriage at all costs. Why? Because they were more emotionally invested in the marriage. They loved their husbands more.

But women who are not more emotional invested, usually at the first sight of any ish, they jump ship. They are already always packed and ready in their minds, just waiting for any opportunity to jump ship and not put in the work to keep their marriage together. Everything must be rosy or they jump ship. But a woman who is more emotionally invested, she is like a Captain, she will rather sink with her ship. She will stay and put in the work to make her marriage work.

Funny how you want a wife to love her husband more so she can endure bullshit.

Well, I hope this is from the cultural standpoint.

baby124:
A man is responsible for keeping his home together. Not the woman primarily. The woman should cooperate but that responsibility of marriage and keeping a home together is largely dependent on the man. He has to provide shelter, security and food for his family. That is the traditional role since you want to pretend to be a traditionalist. In modern society the women have stepped up and are helping out tremendously. So, don’t bring this nonsense to me. Traditionally women only need to take care of the home but a man builds his own home by building his house, marrying a wife and providing for her so she can take care of his children. You better stop falling for misogynistic lies where men are encouraged to abscond responsibility.

The man should even be the prayer leader and warrior in the home, when he claims to be the head. If you don’t have a true male figure around you, then you need to change your circle because all what you wrote there does not align with your own cultural beliefs and you know it.

I come from a home where my father understood this clearly and my brothers have carried it on. The respect from their wives no be here. They understand that leadership, true leadership requires showing by example. This includes behaving yourself in marriage, taking time out for your children and taking on the responsibility to ensure your home is stable first and foremost and everyone is happy. Absolutely no excuse for bad behavior and they no there is none, none of our family will ever support them either when they behave badly. So they behave themselves.

@Bold:

I am not happy where I see homes where the fathers are not fathers indeed spiritually, mentally and emotionally

Finances is just step one.

Englov:
Guys don't even joke with this advise. It is very important oh!

how will you know she loves you more. She could be pretending just to settle down

bukatyne:
Funny how you want a wife to love her husband more so she can endure bullshit.

Well, I hope this is from the cultural standpoint.

People are different and what is ok with you might be bullshit to another woman. When I used to work 9 to 5's, there was a time I had a boss that whenever he wants to eat, his wife must sit with him on the dining table, whether she's eating or not. If he comes back from work and she serves him, she must sit down there while he's eating. To some other women, that kind of thing might be bullshit. But the thing is, she loves her husband more so she's willing to endure this "bullshit" and they have been married for over 45 years.

There will always be "bullshit" in marriage, especially when it comes to a wife being submissive to her husband. Men have our own "bullshit" we deal with too. But I noticed that for most women, when they love a man so much, "bullshit" becomes something enjoyable. For example, for an uncommitted woman, washing a man's clothes is bullshit. A man she doesn't love, is he mad will probably be her response. But a committed woman that's in love, washing her man's clothes that would normally have been bullshit becomes something she enjoys doing and wants to do. The LOVE factor is a determinant in the bullshit equation. So if you don't like dealing with "bullshit" then you better don't fall in love Stay unmarried or enjoy "bullshit" - PICK YOUR POISON!

Involve God in all that you do or set your hands upon.

Young man u hv done well. kudos, a lot hv been learnt

Openbusiness:
Absolutely wrong! Marriage is essentially = family = home making. When it comes to a home / marriage working, a woman's role is more suited to keeping a marriage together. Women are more emotional than men, therefore a woman's emotions should be more invested in a marriage than a man's emotions, otherwise there will be crisis eventually.

For example, look at marriages in the past and marriages today. For our parents or ancestors marriages, it was common to find marriages like 50, 60 years old marriages, but marriages today hardly last. The older generations their marriages worked not because they were perfect or the husband didn't have flaws or was always wealthy etc. It worked because women of the past generations were more emotionally invested in their marriages than the men, and this kept the marriage going even when they had storms in their relationships.

If the man failed to provide, their wives didn't just walk away, or find another richer boyfriend outside. No, they stayed and endured the poverty with their husbands. Some of them their husbands would beat them, but they didn't divorce, they went through that phase, even if it was a lot of pain, they stuck through it all to work out their marriage at all costs. Why? Because they were more emotionally invested in the marriage. They loved their husbands more.

But women who are not more emotional invested, usually at the first sight of any ish, they jump ship. They are already always packed and ready in their minds, just waiting for any opportunity to jump ship and not put in the work to keep their marriage together. Everything must be rosy or they jump ship. But a woman who is more emotionally invested, she is like a Captain, she will rather sink with her ship. She will stay and put in the work to make her marriage work.

Little wonder why mothers are generally more taken care of than fathers in their old age.

J111333:
I hear this always but do you know that the love of a woman has an elastic limit and when it gets to its apogee, any little trigger can drastically turn the deep love to deep hate?

I'll rather have a woman who grows in love with me than the one who overloves me.

The women that cut their husbands preeks once overloved them until they got to that thick brick wall.

I believe in equal amount of love, respect and accountability. That way, the growth will be steady and mutual.

If there is one thing God gave you is wisdom.....only a very wise person can say this.... thumbs up......well said.

MadeMan01:
Do you Nigerian girls do unconditional love? Una love is seasonal. There is rainy season,absent in dry season

Yes some of us still love unconditionally.

Openbusiness:
Absolutely wrong! Marriage is essentially = family = home making. When it comes to a home / marriage working, a woman's role is more suited to keeping a marriage together. Women are more emotional than men, therefore a woman's emotions should be more invested in a marriage than a man's emotions, otherwise there will be crisis eventually.

For example, look at marriages in the past and marriages today. For our parents or ancestors marriages, it was common to find marriages like 50, 60 years old marriages, but marriages today hardly last. The older generations their marriages worked not because they were perfect or the husband didn't have flaws or was always wealthy etc. It worked because women of the past generations were more emotionally invested in their marriages than the men, and this kept the marriage going even when they had storms in their relationships.

If the man failed to provide, their wives didn't just walk away, or find another richer boyfriend outside. No, they stayed and endured the poverty with their husbands. Some of them their husbands would beat them, but they didn't divorce, they went through that phase, even if it was a lot of pain, they stuck through it all to work out their marriage at all costs. Why? Because they were more emotionally invested in the marriage. They loved their husbands more.

But women who are not more emotional invested, usually at the first sight of any ish, they jump ship. They are already always packed and ready in their minds, just waiting for any opportunity to jump ship and not put in the work to keep their marriage together. Everything must be rosy or they jump ship. But a woman who is more emotionally invested, she is like a Captain, she will rather sink with her ship. She will stay and put in the work to make her marriage work.

Wrong, women didn't leave because they legally couldn't work in most professions that hired only males. So if she wanted to have a house to live in and food to eat she had to stay with the man regardless, that's why we have spousal settlement laws that favoured and still favour women.

Also divorce was difficult to obtain for most people and near impossible for women except under grievous circumstances.

So don't be fooled by the nonsense stories told by some people about the past, women stayed in horrible marriages out of necessity rather than love.

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.

This is because men are not used to doing any kind of housework. Some will proudly say how that can't cook or clean or even change a diaper and think because they have a wife they won't have to.