As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? - Family (3)

As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? (4333 Views)

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Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by chatinent: 2:03pm On Dec 21, 2020

JovialJune:
[s]You ended up saying nothing,

Op you are the head and bread winner of your home, start acting accordingly, maybe that will reset his brain.[/s]

0/100.

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by DukeJoe17: 4:10pm On Dec 21, 2020

[s][/s]

CHoccolaTE:
This is the kind of life many men want to live when they keep demanding that wives must provide whether they like it or not meanwhile God gave different decree ooo

Anyway Op it seems you are a very nice lady, if na me I will only spend on myself and the kids, let him say I am wicked I no send, you are chief home keeper (according to your husbands beliefs) you are the one looking after kids personal needs, I bet you are also the one in charge of cooking and cleaning and shopping for kitchen stuff, and after everything yourself and the kids all answer your husbands name and live under his authority when the only thing he does is pay school fees.
Tell him you are sending money to your relatives who need it, maybe your mom or cousins for schoolfees, pocket money etc and keep your money to yourself and your kids, invest it for their future.

Men these days dont want to do anything in marriage

[s][/s]

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by DukeJoe17: 4:12pm On Dec 21, 2020

notoracism:
Yes, he has other responsibilitiesand we are in it together. We have a project, he tends to put all his money there and leave me to also contribute to the project and do other things at home too. For like a year now I earn more, atimes depending on the contract, far more. But before this time I do it myself and now same.

This year I have not bought anything tangible at home because we wanted to complete a project, in the course of the whole stuff he got some extra cash and we needed bedsheets and also reminded him of TV, that's after buying sofa, I thought he'd joyfully buy them but no way, he was giving excuses. I bought bedsheets cos I can't stand sleeping on old and bad looking bedsheets

he has other responsibilities and not as if he is wasting his own money away,
Come to think of it, if you were a single mom won't you do all this things for yourself?
You should be thanking God for giving you the the substance.
Gender equality is not only for mouth, after all, what a man can do a woman can do even more better grin

If you like follow the ill advice from old tycoon women here who may not experience what is called marriage in their lifetime,

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by GboyegaD(m): 4:22pm On Dec 21, 2020

wisdomiskey:
You're not a TV person yet you're forcing him to buy another one even though the kids have a TV to themselves. Lol.

You still haven't mentioned who pays the rent - because he probably does!

Cut your cloth according to your size madam. This ain't the 50s ma, marriage is a partnership. He is not obligated to do anything for you that he doesn't want to.

If you were a single mother won't you buy bedsheet on your bed, feed your kids and pay rent?

Marriage is not by force, if you're not happy, you can always walk away.

Oga, why are you trying so hard to act as though you know her story?

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by wisdomiskey(m): 4:39pm On Dec 21, 2020

GboyegaD:
Oga, why are you trying so hard to act as though you know her story?

I'm trying so hard to get the full picture coz what OP is saying here is very much half-baked.

She's yet to answer my question on who pays the rent.

5 Likes

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by murphyrichy(m): 8:06pm On Dec 21, 2020

why is it that women can't spend on men without complaining, if u buy TV for ur sitting room, you won't allow us to hear word abi? No be una sitting room be that? when your hubby was busy doing the whole marriage expenses to marry you did he complain? Abeg make I hear word oo.

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by ImaIma1(f): 11:54pm On Dec 21, 2020

DukeJoe17:
he has other responsibilities and not as if he is wasting his own money away,
Come to think of it, if you were a single mom won't you do all this things for yourself?
You should be thanking God for giving you the the substance.
Gender equality is not only for mouth, after all, what a man can do a woman can do even more better
If you like follow the ill advice from old tycoon women here who may not experience what is called marriage in their lifetime,

Is she a single mother? No. She has a husband. If she were a single mum, then she would know she's alone but she is not.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by DukeJoe17: 6:12am On Dec 22, 2020

ImaIma1:
Is she a single mother? No. She has a husband. If she were a single mum, then she would know she's alone but she is not.

There is more to it than claiming gender equality on papers, these are what millions of men passed through daily without complain.

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by agrovick(m): 6:35am On Dec 22, 2020

Coloredsg:
Madam, Love is not blind in Marriage o. You need to shine your eye. The first mistake you made was telling him how much you earn. You should have slashed your salary into 2.
He feels very comfortable because he knows you can afford it. If he doesn't buy it, you will surely buy it.
Madam, its time to be smart.
Tell him something happened in your company and your salary was slashed. Forge an official letter from your company to back it up with evidence.
The new song you should be singing everyday is I DONT HAVE MONEY.
Tell him you have a grandma you will he sending money to every month, tell him your parents need your help too.
Don't buy anything in the house. Close your eyes and be hard hearted cos if you continue like this, you won't have any savings for the rainy day.
If your husband gets too comfortable, he will have excess money to spend on side chicks so pls be smart.

Lmfao! If a man did this, wàhálà will burst.

We men need to start giving each other this same advice instead of carrying the load of two people when we are not superman.

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by descarado: 6:59am On Dec 22, 2020

Well, if this is not one of those tales by moonlight...

Doubt if there is a problem here.

Unless your kids go to anyhow school.
The school fees alone for a term can buy everything u need in your house if u are a middle class family.

From your write up,u have project going on. He contributes more. So what exactly is your problem?

Or do u want role reversal?
You pay school fees, fund projects more including rent so he can do the rest. What about the cars? Who bought them?

Nairaland stories. Filled with k leg

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by ImaIma1(f): 8:35pm On Dec 22, 2020

DukeJoe17:
There is more to it than claiming gender equality on papers, these are what millions of men passed through daily without complain.

It doesn't justify a husband/father failing on his responsibilities to his wife and children. Does it?

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by DukeJoe17: 9:29pm On Dec 22, 2020

ImaIma1:
It doesn't justify a husband/father failing on his responsibilities to his wife and children. Does it?

are you now saying that a wife should be under her husband in footing of responsibilities? I thought gender equality was about making a woman equality to man in all ramifications without exemptions
if you don't know, some women are now answering king

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by frozen70(f): 9:29pm On Dec 22, 2020

notoracism:
Hi Guys,

This is really disturbing me, I do not have that dream home. How do I mean? Buying home fittings and keeping the house neat. We both work, but since we've been married my husband has refused to buy things at home. My living room has no tv as I write, this is over 2 years! I decided not to buy and it has remained so. I only bought one in the kids room. He drags remote with them atimes to watch sports!..

I bought the cushions in the living room when it has become so shameful having the old ones there, so bad that my kids were complaining they couldn't sleep on it. Talk of anything at home now, ai bought them from fans, to AC, to bed frame to whatever we have at home except the 2 mattress and they are old now. Our mattresses were in the floor until I bought the frame. Even Window blinds name whatever.

He wasn't a made man when we got married, I don't even discuss buying things at home before marriage because I thought we'd jointly make our home homely when we get married but na lie.

Even for the kids, the only thing he does is paying school fees, I pay a part too (Bus fees), after that, he doesn't care about cloths or extra items needed in school. Since we had our kids he never gives me money for kids Christmas clothes, he call them luxury. My husband went to market one time and bought them rubber shoes.

This same guy like good things oo, when it's time to go out he selects good cloths and shoes for them to wear but he can't buy them.

He once told me it's woman responsibility to take care of the home, I think his orientation about life is wrong but he is also had to convince. How do you Share the responsibility of taking care of the home married couples?

I love cute home but he doesn't. He says atimes, he doesn't mind sleeping on the floor. I have told him several times to let's jointly make the home beautiful but we'd decline. Am doing the little I can but atimes i get financially stressed. I have other responsibilities too.

Let me add, I bought even gen too after the first one we had got bad. I buy units, his excuse is he doesn't know how to buy it online. Am really getting tired and am feeling cheated. I don't know how to lie that I don't have money, he knows how w much I earn.

Leave him, he is cheating himself

Just stop buying all that stuff and start saving to buy a land and make sure you buy it in you name and not his name

Start planning as if you are a single mother

You are preparing yourself to be an independent woman

Spend on things that you think us needed not this that you want at home

He has choosen not to be responsible, a time will come it will be too late for him to apologise

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by mariahAngel(f): 10:06pm On Dec 22, 2020

frozen70:
Leave him, he is cheating himself

Just stop buying all that stuff and start saving to buy a land and make sure you buy it in you name and not his name

Start planning as if you are a single mother

You are preparing yourself to be an independent woman

Spend on things that you think us needed not this that you want at home

He has choosen not to be responsible, a time will come it will be too late for him to apologise

Ha! Nsogbu kpu bone straight!

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by ImaIma1(f): 10:27pm On Dec 22, 2020

DukeJoe17:
are you now saying that a wife should be under her husband in footing of responsibilities? I thought gender equality was about making a woman equality to man in all ramifications without exemptions
if you don't know, some women are now answering king

Is there equality in the spending in this case?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by WhiteLavender(f): 8:44am On Dec 23, 2020

fannybaby:
. Trophy wife... You started it nah, Biko continue

You already showed him you are a super woman, you can afford everything.. I am sure you are buying him clothes and shoes continue

Do you even know what the term 'trophy wife' means? How exactly does it apply in this situation?

2 Likes

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by Luak(m): 1:01pm On Dec 23, 2020

notoracism:
Hi Guys,

This is really disturbing me, I do not have that dream home. How do I mean? Buying home fittings and keeping the house neat. We both work, but since we've been married my husband has refused to buy things at home. My living room has no tv as I write, this is over 2 years! I decided not to buy and it has remained so. I only bought one in the kids room. He drags remote with them atimes to watch sports!..

I bought the cushions in the living room when it has become so shameful having the old ones there, so bad that my kids were complaining they couldn't sleep on it. Talk of anything at home now, ai bought them from fans, to AC, to bed frame to whatever we have at home except the 2 mattress and they are old now. Our mattresses were in the floor until I bought the frame. Even Window blinds name whatever.

He wasn't a made man when we got married, I don't even discuss buying things at home before marriage because I thought we'd jointly make our home homely when we get married but na lie.

Even for the kids, the only thing he does is paying school fees, I pay a part too (Bus fees), after that, he doesn't care about cloths or extra items needed in school. Since we had our kids he never gives me money for kids Christmas clothes, he call them luxury. My husband went to market one time and bought them rubber shoes.

This same guy like good things oo, when it's time to go out he selects good cloths and shoes for them to wear but he can't buy them.

He once told me it's woman responsibility to take care of the home, I think his orientation about life is wrong but he is also had to convince. How do you Share the responsibility of taking care of the home married couples?

I love cute home but he doesn't. He says atimes, he doesn't mind sleeping on the floor. I have told him several times to let's jointly make the home beautiful but we'd decline. Am doing the little I can but atimes i get financially stressed. I have other responsibilities too.

Let me add, I bought even gen too after the first one we had got bad. I buy units, his excuse is he doesn't know how to buy it online. Am really getting tired and am feeling cheated. I don't know how to lie that I don't have money, he knows how w much I earn.

I've gone through this and some comments made thereto. You have a great family. You are the dream of any visionary and focused man. Two things I will advice. Always prioritize your health and that of your kids. With time, every of your dream will come to pass. I am glad he's putting all his money in the project and not side-chicks and frivolities

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by Luak(m): 1:05pm On Dec 23, 2020

frozen70:
Leave him, he is cheating himself

Just stop buying all that stuff and start saving to buy a land and make sure you buy it in you name and not his name

Start planning as if you are a single mother

You are preparing yourself to be an independent woman

Spend on things that you think us needed not this that you want at home

He has choosen not to be responsible, a time will come it will be too late for him to apologise

this advice will break the flourishing marriage

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by frozen70(f): 3:14pm On Dec 23, 2020

Luak:
this advice will break the flourishing marriage

Was the marriage standing on solid ground before?

Some men just want to behave any how and expect the women to accept it that way

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by worworbabe: 3:34pm On Dec 23, 2020*

chatinent:
He may not be buying things you wished for but has other many responsibilities you really haven't noticed are numerous.

It is not easy to be a man.

Have you tired talking it over with him? .. at least hearing his own side of this handicaps?

You may be sorry to understand what he'll say.

You are doing great in remembering what is needed. Just do your best.

Marriage is beautiful where understanding stands as its citadel.

Thanks.

A man's first responsibility is his home. From the post, she already made it clear that she mentioned it to him. Stop making excuses for him.

2 Likes

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by worworbabe: 3:37pm On Dec 23, 2020

notoracism:
Yes, he has other responsibilities and we are in it together. We have a project, he tends to put all his money there and leave me to also contribute to the project and do other things at home too. For like a year now I earn more, atimes depending on the contract, far more. But before this time I do it myself and now same.

This year I have not bought anything tangible at home because we wanted to complete a project, in the course of the whole stuff he got some extra cash and we needed bedsheets and also reminded him of TV, that's after buying sofa, I thought he'd joyfully buy them but no way, he was giving excuses. I bought bedsheets cos I can't stand sleeping on old and bad looking bedsheets or not having extra to change to.

Jumia black Friday came and he asked me to order for TV without making the cash transfer first, now he said he is not buying if I don't buy it. Am not a TV person cos I get busy always so that living room can stay as long as I don't care. My kids have theirs. So shameful but he careless.

Is the project in his name or yours?

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by worworbabe: 4:36pm On Dec 23, 2020

wisdomiskey:
I won't coz men are always right!

Na una dey lie pass.

Just take that Queeny girl for example, crying and accusing a guy of rape only for us to find out that she's a cheap prosttii who over-priced her used up psleeve

I so much dislike men on this forum who go up and down arguing with women on threads like this.

shouldn't you be busy making money for your family somewhere. Or you are hoping for a sugar mommy to take care of your life expenses.

1 Like

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by wisdomiskey(m): 5:17pm On Dec 23, 2020

worworbabe:
I so much dislike women on this forum who go up and down arguing with men on threads like this.

Shouldn't we be busy sucking our husband's slioong? That's if we have husbands. Or we are hoping for a sugar daddy to take care of our life expenses.

Hmm, you are very correct.

5 Likes

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by worworbabe: 6:26pm On Dec 23, 2020

wisdomiskey:
Hmm, you are very correct.

dumbass man. grin

2 Likes

Re: As Married Couple, How Do You Share The Responsibility Of Buying Items At Home? by wisdomiskey(m): 6:31pm On Dec 23, 2020

worworbabe:
dumbass man.

dumbass woman grin

3 Likes

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