Don't know if this is the right section for this
But please read and give me your advice

I ll try to explain best way I can , pls pardon me for any errors

I am the eldest child of my family 9 years older than the second child second child 2 years older than than my the 3rd who happens to be my problem on which I want your advice

I recently got back to Benin unto Christmas stuff
I don't stay much with family unto hustling
So this few days I have spent at home I discovered that my younger sis who is just 14 currently in SS3 got a Samsung phone of which she is using so as a elder bro I asked for the phone without notifying her I went through her WhatsApp chats and discovered she has a boyfriend small girl of 14 years thou she looks more matured than her age

Now I do see messages of the guy asking her to come visit him and she ll be like ok

Now am worried I don't know if I should talk to her of which if I do am definitely going to beat her bcus I see her like a 6 years old

I have been blocking her ways of going out
Placing restrictions on her movement ever since I got back to Benin
My problem now is I am leaving Benin first week of January
How do I stop her or kill d bond between the two of them mind you the boy she is dating is still a child highest 18 years old

I don't know if it is advisable for me to warn the guy or possibly threaten him am just confused

Secondly my younger brother I bought him a Tecno camon as Christmas gift he is 16 years old he out to be a jambite now I stopped him because I felt the age is too small and o enrolled him in a hair dressing saloon so he can get some skills before entering sch

Now the problem I discovered that my 16 years old younger bro mainly visit xvideos.com a porn site
I don't know if I should call him and talk to him or beat the hell out of him

I am just confused regretting why I bought the phone in the first place


Please don't read and pass without advising me
I don't just know what to do

Wahala everywhere...


Can we just marry and decide not to give birth to kids because I am tired.

Mmm this matter tie plenty wrapper oo

Cutehector:
Wahala everywhere...


Can we just marry and decide not to give birth to kids because I am tired.

Am really confused on what to do
And my mum is always busy
Am just tired

Please how do I get mods to push this
Need more advise please

Calm down first

Prechgold1180:

You mean I should do nothing

The thing is that you have to talk with her. Tell her the reality of things, the good and bad sides of early relationship life. Then advise her as a sister to take the right footstep that won't lead her to destruction. It's left for her to choose

Make her your best friend now or forget it cus she will bleep that guy if they entangle (welcome to modernization)

As for your bro, it would be awkward for a girl to lecture him on porn but nevertheless try and be getting to be his friend. When you succeed, tell him that porn affects the mental and intellectual part of the brain. And also tell him that masturbation decreases the penis size.(Teenage boys hates what shortens their pricks)

JOACHINpedro:
Calm down first

You mean I should do nothing

Thats one of the negative effects of GSM.... and most importantly they're undergoing puberty.....

Am sure you know how the thing dey tickle person for body nah

Unfortunately, the best you can do under this circumstance is a heart to heart advise with the two of them.....

Play your part of the big brother to the best of your ability and leave the rest to NATURE.....

After all, pikin wer want spoil go still spoil.....

Maybe they will understand it better as they grow older.....

Zendinho:
Thats one of the negative effects of GSM.... and most importantly they're undergoing puberty.....

Am sure you know how the thing dey tickle person for body nah

Unfortunately, the best you can do under this circumstance is a heart to heart advise with the two of them.....

Play your part of the big brother to the best of your ability and leave the rest to NATURE.....

After all, pikin wer want spoil go still spoil.....

Maybe they will understand it better as they grow older.....

I just tire
Nah me sister own just dey pain me
Nah only one girl we get
My brother own Nur too pain me

Prechgold1180:
Don't know if this is the right section for this
But please read and give me your advice

I ll try to explain best way I can , pls pardon me for any errors

I am the eldest child of my family 9 years older than the second child second child 2 years older than than my the 3rd who happens to be my problem on which I want your advice

I recently got back to Benin unto Christmas stuff
I don't stay much with family unto hustling
So this few days I have spent at home I discovered that my younger sis who is just 14 currently in SS3 got a Samsung phone of which she is using so as a elder bro I asked for the phone without notifying her I went through her WhatsApp chats and discovered she has a boyfriend small girl of 14 years thou she looks more matured than her age

Now I do see messages of the guy asking her to come visit him and she ll be like ok

Now am worried I don't know if I should talk to her of which if I do am definitely going to beat her bcus I see her like a 6 years old

I have been blocking her ways of going out
Placing restrictions on her movement ever since I got back to Benin
My problem now is I am leaving Benin first week of January
How do I stop her or kill d bond between the two of them mind you the boy she is dating is still a child highest 18 years old

I don't know if it is advisable for me to warn the guy or possibly threaten him am just confused

Secondly my younger brother I bought him a Tecno camon as Christmas gift he is 16 years old he out to be a jambite now I stopped him because I felt the age is too small and o enrolled him in a hair dressing saloon so he can get some skills before entering sch

Now the problem I discovered that my 16 years old younger bro mainly visit xvideos.com a porn site
I don't know if I should call him and talk to him or beat the hell out of him

I am just confused regretting why I bought the phone in the first place


Please don't read and pass without advising me
I don't just know what to do

Missimelda01 pls let's solve this...

Op Your profile says you're female but you are here as a elder brother..... well na your wahala be that.

See, that girl is gone... Only divine intervention of God's Mercy can work. How do you expect a 14 years old in the ancient city of Benin to remain a virgin without hyper surveillance beyond CCTV. You must be joking.


Even age 10 in edo state is not sure or being a full innocent naive virgin. So your sister has learned the tricky art of using what she has to get what she wants. You are not grateful that your kidbro has not considered doing incest with your sister. That website is evil and his young curious mind will explore it and when the desirable is not available,then the available will become desirable.

Only God can HELP

So let me analyse this for you, lets say you beat her and seize the phone and go and warn the boy... Then for your brother you beat him and seize his phone and correct him harshly.... you are forgetting that you are a visitor and no longer a permanent residence there. So ANYTHING you do will NOT last.

Moreso, if your brother gets into AAU, or UNIBEN then you will know that matters can be worse. Also what if the guy who is befriending your sister is a cultist... See be careful about this sensitive matter o.

My only solution for you is RELOCATE them to live with you. Then you can groom them prayerfully in love to break free from the addictions. Shine your eyes o... Those kids need serious urgent help.

Educate your siblings on sex education, that is the main thing they are lacking right now, while doing this, you have to be as friendly as possible so they can see the meaning to what you will be telling them, they need to abstain if they want to go far in future, talk sense into your sister about unwanted pregnancy and all that, you can't be there always but your guidance will always remain with them even in your absence.

blackpanthar:

Missimelda01 pls let's solve this...

Op Your profile says you're female but you are here as a elder brother..... well na your wahala be that.

See, that girl is gone... Only divine intervention of God's Mercy can work. How do you expect a 14 years old in the ancient city of Benin to remain a virgin without hyper surveillance beyond CCTV. You must be joking.


Even age 10 in edo state is not sure or being a full innocent naive virgin. So your sister has learned the tricky art of using what she has to get what she wants. You are not grateful that your kidbro has not considered doing incest with your sister. That website is evil and his young curious mind will explore it and when the desirable is not available,then the available will become desirable.

Only God can HELP

So let me analyse this for you, lets say you beat her and seize the phone and go and warn the boy... Then for your brother you beat him and seize his phone and correct him harshly.... you are forgetting that you are a visitor and no longer a permanent residence there. So ANYTHING you do will NOT last.

Moreso, if your brother gets into AAU, or UNIBEN then you will know that matters can be worse. Also what if the guy who is befriending your sister is a cultist... See be careful about this sensitive matter o.

My only solution for you is RELOCATE them to live with you. Then you can groom them prayerfully in love to break free from the addictions. Shine your eyes o... Those kids need serious urgent help.

I don't base in benin city oo
This ur comment just got me scared

I Nur spoil person own person Nur go spoil my own

[quote author=Prechgold1180 post=97593354]
I just tire
Nah me sister own just dey pain me
Nah only one girl we get
My brother own Nur too pain m

There's something about puberty and adolescence.......

It's all about EXPLORATIONS.... EXPERIENCES and ADVENTURES.... . ...
You can't stop her COMPLETELY from the above stated variables.....

I am a PSYCHOLOGIST, so I know exactly what am saying....

[quote author=Zendinho post=97593523][/quote]
What about me seizing her phone
And getting to tell my mum

Sad my mum is not always at home

Cutehector:
Wahala everywhere...


Can we just marry and decide not to give birth to kids because I am tired.

you wouldn't be in this world if ur parent decided not to give birth .

Prechgold1180:


I don't base in benin city oo
This ur comment just got me scared

I Nur spoil person own person Nur go spoil my own

Scared?

Location determines influence, they are in the wrong location, take them to live with you.


Hmmm anyway I have tried to help you see the best way. They need 24/7 eyes on them.

Thank God you are able to notice all these now.its now pertinent that you rescue them from the claws of the devil.
Firstly,a girl of 14 has nothing to do having a boyfriend.sit her down and let her know that although at that age,like all Teenagers feel at that age,she may feel she has life figured out.let her know that any relationship she enters now will most likely end in massive tears and if she is not careful,it may end in regrets.if you know any serious youth fellowship,get her to begin to attend so as to shift her focus to the things of God now,for the earlier the better
For your brother,even if you don't do anything about anybody,don't leave him.he may have just started watching and mastubating and he is in the feel good phase and he may not know the dangers of what he is indulging in.pornography destroys destinies!
There are many threads on nairaland where people who are trying to quit the act have created.show him and let him see what can become of his life if he doesn't stop.
Lastly,don't just advice them,pray for them and with them after the counsel.i repeat PRAY!
Some of us now wish maybe we were caught when we started some of these nonsense

Bodyodour:
you wouldn't be in this world if ur parent decided not to give birth .

try get sense small. Back in the 80s, at least kids did have proper home training. Not nowadays that kids go wayward

Prechgold1180:

Am really confused on what to do
And my mum is always busy
Am just tired

Leave her to make her own mistakes and learn from it that's the best way, trying to force her to stop would only make her hate you except you can buy all what thebf is buying for her?.
Free the lady jor when life hits her hard she will come around

Fvckyouall:


Leave her to make her own mistakes and learn from it that's the best way, trying to force her to stop would only make her hate you except you can buy all what thebf is buying for her?.
Free the lady jor when life hits her hard she will come around

Really? You really think its everybody that recovers from the so called "hit" of life?then what is his role as an elder brother?is this also how you are gonna train ur kids?
This must be the most useless advice of the decade
We are entering a new decade,hope you gain more sense

[quote author=Prechgold1180 post=97593549]
What about me seizing her phone
And getting to tell my mum

Sad my mum is not always at home

They are all good options..... but students of adolescence age commits havoc while in school in the company of their peers....7-4pm....
Some will be the best kids to their parents while at home.....

@https://www.nairaland.com/post/97593520
This plain wickedness from the OP
When you were their age , were you not intrigued about such
Now you don’t want them to develop, explore and enjoy same thing you had
This the time they will gather enough experience
Nothing is going to spoil them again, they are spoilt already
You have lived your own exploring phase of life
Allow them have their own in peace

Crusty3:
Thank God you are able to notice all these now.its now pertinent that you rescue them from the claws of the devil.
Firstly,a girl of 14 has nothing to do having a boyfriend.sit her down and let her know that although at that age,like all Teenagers feel at that age,she may feel she has life figured out.let her know that any relationship she enters now will most likely end in massive tears and if she is not careful,it may end in regrets.if you know any serious youth fellowship,get her to begin to attend so as to shift her focus to the things of God now,for the earlier the better
For your brother,even if you don't do anything about anybody,don't leave him.he may have just started watching and mastubating and he is in the feel good phase and he may not know the dangers of what he is indulging in.pornography destroys destinies!
There are many threads on nairaland where people who are trying to quit the act have created.show him and let him see what can become of his life if he doesn't stop.
Lastly,don't just advice them,pray for them and with them after the counsel.i repeat PRAY!
Some of us now wish maybe we were caught when we started some of these nonsense

Am still finding it hard to teach them sex education

And I can't talk to them without me getting to hit them wrong I know but I can't control it

Her phone is currently with Me now
I just got to the part of her chat wer d guy asked her to come visit her and she replied saying she does not know d kinda lie she ll tell her big broda which happens to be me the guy replied with tell him a sexy lie

And she replied that her big brother is doing boss acting Asif she is still a child

Asin d way dey chat ehn u won't even notice that they are still kids

Until you take the (F) out your gender, I won't take you serious. I hate deception.

For your brother, you should have just allowed him write jamb and enter university. There's nothing like he's too young to be in the university.
Concerning their crave to experience the "social life", we can only do what we can do and allow God to step in. Sometimes people need life to teach them lessons but we pray it doesn't end up in tragedy. It is well.
Just do your bits and pray.

Crusty3:

Really? You really think its everybody that recovers from the so called "hit" of life?then what is his role as an elder brother?is this also how you are gonna train ur kids?
This must be the most useless advice of the decade
We are entering a new decade,hope you gain more sense

Everyone is meant to have freedom, you are meant to guide and advise and not be a tyrant. Give your advise and she can chose what to do with it, I dislike people who act like you, always trying to force your morals and beliefs on another, bro everyone has their choice, makes their own mistakes that's the beauty of life

This is the problem with leaving in edo.children leaving there are easily corrupt because of the number of yahoo boys leaving there.

Sit her down and reveal everything bad and good if any about teenagers/premarital sex with her education and future as the bigger picture why pregnancy as possible obstacles.

Best wishes

Talk to dem like an elderly bro

Prechgold1180:
Am really confused on what to do And my mum is always busy Am just tired

Cutehector:
Wahala everywhere...


Can we just marry and decide not to give birth to kids because I am tired.

wahala no de finish my brother