somegirl1:

A lot of Nigerian men import wives from Nigeria for the wrong reasons.
They pick home-based women over Nigerian women already abroad, foreign black and white women with the mindset that they're easier to manipulate, subdue and control.
Truth is, the only difference between home-based women and Nigerian women abroad is exposure and availability of options, it's only a matter of time before the home-based lady adjusts to her environment.
Rather than bring a poor girl from Nigeria abroad to dictate to her what she's to study and expect her salary as recompense for putting her through school, how about these men invest in themselves, study nursing, medicine etc and make the money themselves.
I would never hand over my earnings to anyone if I had a choice, no one will wholeheartedly.
The moral lesson from these horror stories is for Nigerian men to stop attempting to use home-based women as investments and to stop being delusional about these women remaining subdued in a liberal society.

By the way, Nigerian women abroad also fall prey to home-based men who mistreat them once they leave Nigeria. It's not just the men that have sorrowful tales to tell.

Holywizard:
I'm planning on migrating to Eastern Europe this year.
With the experinces I have here, I'm even scared of getting married to a Nigerian

Johnnyplus01k:
So in summary a guy in abroad should marry akata because they are better than the Nigerian that we thought are cultured and well-mannered.

Dreadlock69:

Brendaniel:
I still don't know how some men behave o, like if they don't marry a Nigerian woman or a woman from their village then they have not married, though I don't have plans right now of relocating, but if I happen to relocate, I will marry in that country, whether na chinese, japanese, india, africa, arabian whatever ever race, I go marry and that will be my only wife.... I mean are they not human beings like you, my children remain my children whether they are half-caste or not and will always know their root, abeg I hate drama and don't have time for it....

sweetmelanin:
Every now and again, I hear new stories about some men getting "betrayed" by a Nigerian spouse whom they've brought abroad.. however, I can't help but notice that they are often the cause of their own misfortune. As harsh as it sounds, some men have had to learn the hard way that ignorance and hero-complex will cost a man far more than he can ever bargain for..

Category 1: Those with a warped mindset of the " 'cultureless' akata"

My experience:
Let's go back to my uni days some years back.. the dating scene was wild, brutal and exciting.. back then, the disparity was huge between the "freshiees" and UK grown blacks (unlike today) .. but yet, I was opportuned to mix and mingle with so many young Nigerian guys who were in the UK as international students at the time.. some also young working professionals ( of which are still life-long friends of mine up till today)...

..whilst on the dating scene, I noticed that a lot of Nigerian guys seemed to have a mentality that "akata" girls were "too exposed" compared to Nigerian girls back home, so they played games with them, often ditching these girls to marry home-based chicks.. I remember having such a silly and childish dream of relocating to Nigeria back then . Hahha.. and thought I would end up with a "freshiie" who would 'take me back to the motherland'.. haha. though I ended up with someone with a migration story just like mine; we both moved to the UK as kids in the early 2000s.. and my husband is a male 'akata' to core ..with no intention whatsoever of moving back.

Truth be told, a lot of guys who had temporary flings with "akata" girls ended up moving back to Nigeria, and are still regretting their decision till today.. Many returned to find their girlfriends had moved on and married older men. Others attempted to bring their girlfriends here to find out they've been used as a mere stepping stone to "greener pastures".


Category 2: Those who used and dumped white women for papers and then brought their "ungrateful Nigerian wives" abroad.

Men who are desperate for papers often opt for the easy way out: marrying an older white woman (and in some cases a poor unsuspecting black woman from another African country who has papers) ... they do this with the mindset that they would bring their "real wife" from Nigeria.
Now when their 'wife' divorces them.. these men will scream betrayal, forgetting the trail of heartbreaks they've left behind.. Now how do such men think they will use a foreign woman, break her heart, and yet live happily ever after with an imported bride?? how??

In summary,

When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality.
...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real.

somegirl1:

A lot of Nigerian men import wives from Nigeria for the wrong reasons.
They pick home-based women over Nigerian women already abroad, foreign black and white women with the mindset that they're easier to manipulate, subdue and control.
Truth is, the only difference between home-based women and Nigerian women abroad is exposure and availability of options, it's only a matter of time before the home-based lady adjusts to her environment.
Rather than bring a poor girl from Nigeria abroad to dictate to her what she's to study and expect her salary as recompense for putting her through school, how about these men invest in themselves, study nursing, medicine etc and make the money themselves.
I would never hand over my earnings to anyone if I had a choice, no one will wholeheartedly.
The moral lesson from these horror stories is for Nigerian men to stop attempting to use home-based women as investments and to stop being delusional about these women remaining subdued in a liberal society.

By the way, Nigerian women abroad also fall prey to home-based men who mistreat them once they leave Nigeria. It's not just the men that have sorrowful tales to tell.

nedekid:

Yeah right, the mystical women with good character and attitide

Heffalump:


You're on point!

RisenPhoenix1:
Too simplistic and very untrue. Many Nigerian men go abroad on study or professional work visas, work hard without marrying white women for papers, and come back home to marry because they realise that akata girls have little value marriage-wise. Some genuinely want to marry akata girls when they start dating them, but their eyes quickly open; it's not like they deliberately go around breaking hearts. About the only thing you're right on is the dog-eat-dog mentality of Nigerian girls once they get their papers abroad and start to understand the powers that Western governments mistakenly give them. They become something else.

But marrying akata girls is not the solution. Like their white counterparts, they are wayward and divorce prone; ending up with all the man's wealth at the end of the day. No. The solution is to marry home based Nigerian girls, but never to relocate your family abroad until your children are at least at college level. Personally, I cannot let my kids out of Nigeria except on the occasional holidays; until they get to post grad at the minimum. For me personally, relocating anywhere is a no no. Nigeria is good enough for me. I hate stress.

Dreadlock69:

Holywizard:
I'm planning on migrating to Eastern Europe this year.
With the experinces I have here, I'm even scared of getting married to a Nigerian

cooltola:
It works if you know the woman very well and you dated when you are in Nigeria. It works even with a stranger as long there is trust, love and understanding. There are many men who have bought their spouses, girlfriends, love flings from Nigeria, marry them and are enjoying their marriage. But you do not hear about them on the news, social media or blogs because good news is boring and not entertaining. The only one you hear is the Texas man killed Nigerian Nurse

sweetmelanin:


Have you dated an "akata" girl before to make such hasty, unfounded generalisations?

erico2k2:

So you created a new profile lastnight and thought it was OK to write all that??

MasterRahl:


Marry your friend. Marry your pal, and you won't go through unnecessary stress in marriage.

The things that happen in today's marriages leaves me speechless.

Well, who cares?

somegirl1:

A lot of Nigerian men import wives from Nigeria for the wrong reasons.
They pick home-based women over Nigerian women already abroad, foreign black and white women with the mindset that they're easier to manipulate, subdue and control.
Truth is, the only difference between home-based women and Nigerian women abroad is exposure and availability of options, it's only a matter of time before the home-based lady adjusts to her environment.
Rather than bring a poor girl from Nigeria abroad to dictate to her what she's to study and expect her salary as recompense for putting her through school, how about these men invest in themselves, study nursing, medicine etc and make the money themselves.
I would never hand over my earnings to anyone if I had a choice, no one will wholeheartedly.
The moral lesson from these horror stories is for Nigerian men to stop attempting to use home-based women as investments and to stop being delusional about these women remaining subdued in a liberal society.

By the way, Nigerian women abroad also fall prey to home-based men who mistreat them once they leave Nigeria. It's not just the men that have sorrowful tales to tell.

Hotbutt:
How I wish I can travel abroad even if it's for a day.