₦airaland Forum

MrWondah:
This is your answer bro.
5 years no be beans. She was with you even when you no get.
E fit be say you dey nack for overseas but she dey for you.

I can only say RUN if she's unfaithful.

On the issue of sending you money, I can only say she found it hard to believe you were broke.

I can tell you, the redpillers will give you reasons to doubt her

Thanks for sharing.
I appreciate.

sometimes it baffles me why people have to wait a long time b4 coming to reasoning on a relationship.
5 years for wetin?
If you both did not agree to wait this long... then other plans have been made without your consent and Knowledge.

TheAviator2000:
We have never had sex.
Met her a virgin and never pressured her for sex as she wasn;t ready!

This comment says it all. When will some men ever have sense? You are being played for a big fool. You better go and read Ubunja's Miseducation make you become a MAN at the moment you are just a sissy. No offence Mr Nice Guy.

yes oh

TheAviator2000:
Bro, I respect women and NOT READY means NOT READY!
NO means NO!! There's no rush! The toto no dey run lol!

So what is your conviction that she is a virgin Mr Nice Guy. I have not said you should fvck her. Tell us your confirmation. Ladies love guys like you sha. Last last you go still cry how she scam you with I AM A VIRGIN SH!T.

Bro women don't respect men, the take men for a ride. An example is this one who can't send you a Kobo while you pretended to be unemployed. She knows you are too soft and weak.

Try not to be a nice guy and you get loyality and respect from women. It sounds crude but it is the reality.

I understand you perfectly
I was about asking if you requested directly from her to find you with anything she can until I read the whole story

Damn my guy make I yan you something base on agba wey I be and from experience

A woman who doesn't have the ability to hustle can never be a giver
Never you marry a woman who isn't a giver
Never you marry a woman who isn't sacrificial no matter how many years you've been together

Such women will ask you for money to buy your own kids pencil and pen which is very affordable by any human on earth

Alaye forget 5 yrs matter in fact don't marry a broke woman , we both know she won't marry you if she was educated and buoyant , you don't expect a rich and educated woman to settle down for an ordinary fashion designer with no goo education and still broke
Except in Nigeria movies

I repeat knock off that thought of 5yrs it's a waste
What's the possibility that she's not been sharing her kpekus north east west South

No be say i wan use my woman brag o, but make I tell u one thing she can do
Anything that has to do with me she'll go extra mile for me
She's the type that you'll tell babe I need 50k even if she doesn't have it she'll go and borrow , and she won't even ask you what you need it for
When the person she borrowed from is troubling her that's when I'll know she truly borrowed
During my school days when man was helle broke
She'll request money from her dad steadily and fund me and tell me "baby everything's gonna be fine I love you "

Chai God bless that woman and she's my wife today

Dump her and focus on getting a better woman for yourself
Better still find one better woman where you are and avoid Nigerian women , if you must marry a Nigerian woman then don't marry a broke or poor one simple

Don't marry for pity , marry someone that can stand for you
Your woman represents you my brother

Lights up my kpoli in peace

TheAviator2000:
I really need wise counsel and will try to make this post as short as possible

My girlfriend and I have been together since 2015. I left Naija in 2017 and since then, our relationship has been more of long distance except for the one time I came back. While I truly love her and wish to Marry her, there are some things that are giving me concerns and I would like to hear other people's perspective:


1- When I met my girl in 2015, I was an unemployed graduate wrapping up my NYSC. She was a fashion designer/Tailor and didn't have any formal higher education (University Level).

2- Fast forward to 2021, I am a consultant in a fortune 500 company and have grown so much in any measurable aspect of Life. My girlfriend is still a fashion designer and not too long ago, I helped her get a shop in Lagos and Have been sending her steady allowance (at least average of 40-50k a month).

Here are the things that have given me a lot of worries:
1- I know everyone will not get a formal education and I am fine with that but my girl has not been hustling/pulling her weight in her chosen career despite my extra support.... I sometimes get the feeling that all she wants is to get married and get comfortable but I want an industrious woman. Formal education or not, I want a woman that can hussle!

2- Recently, I pretended to be unemployed because of Coronavirus just to see if she would send me some money (even if its 10k) or really, anything she can afford. Looking at the fact that I had always supported her month after month, I wanted to see if she would do the same for me.
I pretended to be unemployed for almost a month and did not receive any form of financial support from her. Even when I directly asked her to loan me small money, she would play it off by saying something like "I go write you check for 1 million sef".....

I am thinking of breaking it off at this point by slowly letting her go but before I do that, I want the perspective of people here.
Please, no insult! I am genuinely seeking your insight. Be kind!

ps. My family are doing really well and I support anything they do. I have never neglected my family in anyway, shape or form.

Dump her ass...she has nothing to add to you

I don't advice a man in love

Let me ask baba nwoko maybe you should continue or not.

Dreyton36:
I understand you perfectly
I was about asking if you requested directly from her to find you with anything she can until I read the whole story

Damn my guy make I yan you something base on agba wey I be and from experience

A woman who doesn't have the ability to hustle can never be a giver
Never you marry a woman who isn't a giver
Never you marry a woman who isn't sacrificial no matter how many years you've been together

Such women will ask you for money to buy your own kids pencil and pen which is very affordable by any human on earth

Alaye forget 5 yrs matter in fact don't marry a broke woman , we both know she won't marry you if she was educated and buoyant , you don't expect a rich and educated woman to settle down for an ordinary fashion designer with no goo education and still broke
Except in Nigeria movies

I repeat knock off that thought of 5yrs it's a waste
What's the possibility that she's not been sharing her kpekus north east west South

No be say i wan use my woman brag o, but make I tell u one thing she can do
Anything that has to do with me she'll go extra mile for me
She's the type that you'll tell babe I need 50k even if she doesn't have it she'll go and borrow , and she won't even ask you what you need it for
When the person she borrowed from is troubling her that's when I'll know she truly borrowed
During my school days when man was helle broke
She'll request money from her dad steadily and fund me and tell me "baby everything's gonna be fine I love you "

Chai God bless that woman and she's my wife today

Dump her and focus on getting a better woman for yourself
Better still find one better woman where you are and avoid Nigerian women , if you must marry a Nigerian woman then don't marry a broke or poor one simple

Don't marry for pity , marry someone that can stand for you
Your woman represents you my brother

Lights up my kpoli in peace

You've made too much sense.

Dreyton36:
I understand you perfectly
I was about asking if you requested directly from her to find you with anything she can until I read the whole story

Damn my guy make I yan you something base on agba wey I be and from experience

A woman who doesn't have the ability to hustle can never be a giver
Never you marry a woman who isn't a giver
Never you marry a woman who isn't sacrificial no matter how many years you've been together

Such women will ask you for money to buy your own kids pencil and pen which is very affordable by any human on earth

Alaye forget 5 yrs matter in fact don't marry a broke woman , we both know she won't marry you if she was educated and buoyant , you don't expect a rich and educated woman to settle down for an ordinary fashion designer with no goo education and still broke
Except in Nigeria movies

I repeat knock off that thought of 5yrs it's a waste
What's the possibility that she's not been sharing her kpekus north east west South

No be say i wan use my woman brag o, but make I tell u one thing she can do
Anything that has to do with me she'll go extra mile for me
She's the type that you'll tell babe I need 50k even if she doesn't have it she'll go and borrow , and she won't even ask you what you need it for
When the person she borrowed from is troubling her that's when I'll know she truly borrowed
During my school days when man was helle broke
She'll request money from her dad steadily and fund me and tell me "baby everything's gonna be fine I love you "

Chai God bless that woman and she's my wife today

Dump her and focus on getting a better woman for yourself
Better still find one better woman where you are and avoid Nigerian women , if you must marry a Nigerian woman then don't marry a broke or poor one simple

Don't marry for pity , marry someone that can stand for you
Your woman represents you my brother

Lights up my kpoli in peace

Op I beg you in the name of the God you serve,keep feelings aside and adhere to this advice this my brother jus dished out.

it reminds me of what my Friend who just got married last Dec told me. he said "Bro one of the major reason I married my woman was because she's a giver and is ready to make sacrifices for me." Bro ur woman should be ready to make sacrifices for you at any time,wait a woman you have been supporting monthly and every time cant even support you even if it means her to borrow and support her man? aah that's a big red flag...ignore it at your own peril a failed relationship is far more better than a failed marriage. I repeat," don't allow feelings/emotions cloud sound reasoning." never forget again a man's instinct always have a way to tell a man a woman isn't worth it.

my 2cents

Woman wahala no dey finish

MrWondah:
This is your answer bro.
5 years no be beans. She was with you even when you no get.
E fit be say you dey nack for overseas but she dey for you.

I can only say RUN if she's unfaithful.

On the issue of sending you money, I can only say she found it hard to believe you were broke.

I can tell you, the redpillers will give you reasons to doubt her

The same guy wrote this lol......you make me laugh with your reference to redpillers. E go shock you how this guy go finally become a Redpill evangelist when he finally get sense. This guy confessed by himself in one of his topics titled: Is My Girlfriend Trying To Defraud Me?.... Matured Minds Please Help! -

TheAviator2000:
I have a situation going on in my life right now with the woman that I love and i need your perspective in this situation.

To give you some background, my girlfriend and i have been together for almost 5 years in a mostly long distance relationship as i left the country after the first year of meeting her. When I finally found my feet abroad, I started sending her about 40k every month as upkeep money even without her asking. I have been consistently sending her this upkeep for about a year now and have never asked nor received anything in return.

Few weeks ago, my girlfriend mentioned that she needed a shop to expand has fast growing business as working from home is no longer convenient and she is beginning to loose customers as a result of that. I was really happy to hear that and promised to give her my support.

She eventually found a store that cost about N300k per annum and indicated that she had saved about 240k and needed about 150k from me to cover the remaining rent fees, agency fees, admin fees and minor renovations. I pledged to send her the money this week and as a man of my words, i intend to send it.

However, somethings did not sit right in with me and I inquired to know how she was able to save 240k as she had never ever mentioned having that type of money saved up. Before i sent her monthly upkeep money (40k), i always inquired to know how she was doing financially and there has never been a time where she mentioned she was saving money or have 240k saved up somewhere. As a matter of fact, she has never indicated to have more than 10k at any point in time

To end my doubts, i asked her send me a screenshot of her bank statement showing the savings and this made her really upset to the point of going into a rant about "lack of trust" in the relationship. Mind you, i have never asked her to send her back statement before and have never been the type to distrust the things she said as she has never really given me any reason to. I have always been supportive and the one time I actually needed some "assurance" to quell my doubts, she wasn't able to provide it.
At this point, I feel there is some level of deceit on her part to get some money from me.

I also asked her to send me picture of the store and she said she didn't take any picture when she went to check it ...

Last week, i told her to apply for a passport and wanted to send her like 80k to do that as my goal was to facilitate her eventual relocation to join me but on Saturday, she told me that she prefers the money goes into getting her store set up and she can always apply the passport with the money she makes from her store... hmmmm

To be honest, i am really upset and slightly depressed because I come across people back home trying to "job" me for cash but never thought it would come from my inner circle.

At this point, i have mentally moved on and after i send that 150k, i will block her everywhere and move on with my life. ... That is honestly how i feel right now

Yet he believes she is still a virgin hahahahahaha laugh wan kill me. I bet, the same way she could not prove her savings turning the conversation to a quarrel lol on his wedding night after finding out how WIDELY POROUS her vagina really is, at this time she will start shedding tears cooking up stories and since he is a respecter of women lol he has no choice but to embrace a marriage that will be filled with anguish, regrets and bitterness. WEAK MEN EVERY WHERE.

WORDWORLD:
The same guy wrote this lol......you make me laugh with your reference to redpillers. You got shock you how this guy go finally become a Redpill evangelist when he finally get sense. This guy confessed by himself in one of his topics titled: Is My Girlfriend Trying To Defraud Me?.... Matured Minds Please Help! -



Yet he believes she is still a virgin hahahahahaha laugh wan kill me.

wow bro I didn't even know he posted this oh......wow wow.....the guy is evidently being used. I pray God open his eyes soon

Made619:
wow bro I didn't even know he posted this oh......wow wow.....the guy is evidently being used. I pray God open his eyes soon

When ubunja started his miseducation on Nairaland I was one of the guys who use to attack him. But the more he defend his miseducation the more I became enlightened. It's just sad how the female gender prefer to be treated like SH!T before the can give you their very best. That is the sad reality. Take it or leave it. It's the solid truth.

WORDWORLD:
It's just sad how the female gender prefer to be treated like SH!T before the can give you their very best. That is the sad reality. Take it or leave it. It's the solid truth.

The sad reality. Fools will forever think financial benevolence to a woman is a proof of masculinity. I laugh again and again

Made619:
The sad reality. Fools will forever think financial benevolence to a woman is a proof of masculinity. I laugh again and again

The Will never learn.

TheAviator2000:
We have never had sex.
Met her a virgin and never pressured her for sex as she wasn;t ready!

That comment is too typically made by clueless guys who know NOTHING about women who keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and are too stubborn to grow in knowledge. I just dey laugh like one idiot for here when him respond like this:

TheAviator2000:
Bro, I respect women and NOT READY means NOT READY!
NO means NO!! There's no rush! The toto no dey run lol!

The only thing that will make you to consider dumping her is infidelity, but if that is ruled out, any other thing can be changed.
I mean that in marriage, you package or repackage your woman to your taste. Most women don't have functional brains, so expecting certain behaviors from them may only get you confused. Train her in what it takes to be your wife. Tell her that "this is my standard and I'm ready to help you reach if you are ready and willing to change "
This move is important because the next one you may meet may be worst than this

TheAviator2000:
Its called trust! I trust her and she hasn't given me a MAJOR reason not to!

ogbeni shut up jare... dem no Dey trust human being 100% not to talk of women

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TheAviator2000:
I trust her! I know for a fact that she's loyal!

Guys make una no waste Una time to advise this man.. he’s lost

TheAviator2000:
I really need wise counsel and will try to make this post as short as possible

My girlfriend and I have been together since 2015. I left Naija in 2017 and since then, our relationship has been more of long distance except for the one time I came back. While I truly love her and wish to Marry her, there are some things that are giving me concerns and I would like to hear other people's perspective:


1- When I met my girl in 2015, I was an unemployed graduate wrapping up my NYSC. She was a fashion designer/Tailor and didn't have any formal higher education (University Level).

2- Fast forward to 2021, I am a consultant in a fortune 500 company and have grown so much in any measurable aspect of Life. My girlfriend is still a fashion designer and not too long ago, I helped her get a shop in Lagos and Have been sending her steady allowance (at least average of 40-50k a month).

Here are the things that have given me a lot of worries:
1- I know everyone will not get a formal education and I am fine with that but my girl has not been hustling/pulling her weight in her chosen career despite my extra support.... I sometimes get the feeling that all she wants is to get married and get comfortable but I want an industrious woman. Formal education or not, I want a woman that can hussle!

2- Recently, I pretended to be unemployed because of Coronavirus just to see if she would send me some money (even if its 10k) or really, anything she can afford. Looking at the fact that I had always supported her month after month, I wanted to see if she would do the same for me.
I pretended to be unemployed for almost a month and did not receive any form of financial support from her. Even when I directly asked her to loan me small money, she would play it off by saying something like "I go write you check for 1 million sef".....

I am thinking of breaking it off at this point by slowly letting her go but before I do that, I want the perspective of people here.
Please, no insult! I am genuinely seeking your insight. Be kind!

ps. My family are doing really well and I support anything they do. I have never neglected my family in anyway, shape or form.

Move on for the following reasons!
1, You are in love with her but she is not in love with you.
2, Yes she wants to marry you, get comfortable, fat and disgusting, get desperate and start visiting babalawos for juju to protect her investment, sorry, marriage.
3, If the role is reversed and she is the one earning as much as you are doing, she would have dumped you long ago( this is where women are by far smarter and by far more ruthless than men)
4, She will be a burden and drag is you marry her. She has no serious ambition to improve herself. Don't bother.

5, You will be miserable.

I have been there before, I didn't blink before dumping her.

EJanni:
She wasn't idle when you met her, till this moment and you're still complaining that She's not hussling. When she buys Prado SUV out of the blues, you will still come here to rant on how she made the money.

I keep saying it, Nigerian men have a huge cultural and psychological problems.
You people should change your mentality.

You have said it all. Very confuse creature.

For u to have been steadily supporting her monthly, yet she can't even make efforts to assist u in the guise of you losing your job, speaks volume.

She's with you for the money u give her monthly. Watch how her love dwindles just cos uve stopped sending her money.

Chances are that she has a guy in the country that oils her incus and the funny thing is the Naija based guy might be doing it for free.

It's a complicated world bro. The choice is yours to make having seen all these yourself.

She's hustling, true. But she cannot share any part of her finances with you. How's that a supportive attribute from her end?

TheAviator2000:
I trust her! I know for a fact that she's loyal!

so says every simp.

JOACHINpedro:
Good morning Sir.
5yrs in relationship no be beans o.
Make person daughter no kill you for wasting her time.

For ur mind na only him she they date? Nigeria girls make I hear word

Na wa o, @op, i won't advise you leave her, you can discuss this issue and sort it out, tell her how you want to see some sort of improvement on her skill. If that is her only flaw then it can be improved on . Meanwhile you've been with her for over five years, why have you not advised her to return back to school and complete her studies. As for the loyalty part, i can't say much...

TheAviator2000:
I really need wise counsel and will try to make this post as short as possible

My girlfriend and I have been together since 2015. I left Naija in 2017 and since then, our relationship has been more of long distance except for the one time I came back. While I truly love her and wish to Marry her, there are some things that are giving me concerns and I would like to hear other people's perspective:


1- When I met my girl in 2015, I was an unemployed graduate wrapping up my NYSC. She was a fashion designer/Tailor and didn't have any formal higher education (University Level).

2- Fast forward to 2021, I am a consultant in a fortune 500 company and have grown so much in any measurable aspect of Life. My girlfriend is still a fashion designer and not too long ago, I helped her get a shop in Lagos and Have been sending her steady allowance (at least average of 40-50k a month).

Here are the things that have given me a lot of worries:
1- I know everyone will not get a formal education and I am fine with that but my girl has not been hustling/pulling her weight in her chosen career despite my extra support.... I sometimes get the feeling that all she wants is to get married and get comfortable but I want an industrious woman. Formal education or not, I want a woman that can hussle!

2- Recently, I pretended to be unemployed because of Coronavirus just to see if she would send me some money (even if its 10k) or really, anything she can afford. Looking at the fact that I had always supported her month after month, I wanted to see if she would do the same for me.
I pretended to be unemployed for almost a month and did not receive any form of financial support from her. Even when I directly asked her to loan me small money, she would play it off by saying something like "I go write you check for 1 million sef".....

I am thinking of breaking it off at this point by slowly letting her go but before I do that, I want the perspective of people here.
Please, no insult! I am genuinely seeking your insight. Be kind!

ps. My family are doing really well and I support anything they do. I have never neglected my family in anyway, shape or form.

you would regret bro. Marry someone of your level and intelligence.

Don't be naive.

What has she been doing with 50k monthly for all these years if she has a job?

If she knows that you are more educated, what stops her from pursuing her own education further even if it is a distance learning programme?

You should have realised this lkng before now that she is easily comfortable staying in her comfort zone.

If you leave her now, it is the right thing to do but no guarantee that you have the maturity to seek someone who is all round better.

Many men think they are doing the right thing by giving a girlfriend a regular allowance. How is it right? I do not think Obama was giving Michelle an allowance while they were dating. Your local government chairman with two shallow wives might have been dojng that though.

TheAviator2000:
Thank you sir or Ma.
You perfectly get my perspective.
I have been very supportive of everything she does and never received anything from her until 2020 Christmas (got a shirt).
Even in the midst of my struggle, she told me someone (a family member) gave her 100k to help her renovate the shop and I asked her to loan me small...... for the level of support I have given, I would expect her to gladly send me everything and more.

So, to say I am disappointed and feel alone is an understatement! Its been me all alot making real sacrifices from my own hard work. Never the other way around and now I gave her the opportunity to show she can come through for me, but she fall hand.

Hmmmmmmmmmm. Bro, make i talk. Some deep truths. Hope you won't be annoyed with my blunt response.

Forget all these long story. From my own perspective, the girl has not done anything wrong here.you are only being proud and trying to form levels simply because you're a graduate and now in Yankee. Her level is now too low for you and you're just looking for faults that is not there to get rid of her.

Mind you, she was like that when you were still an otondo copper but you didn't see it as anything. It's now the specs have fallen off your eyes.

Don't leave that girl because for all you know, your being with her brought you luck and if you drop her, things might go south ( just saying). That girl hasn't done anything to you. Don't leave her. All you need to do is talk to her and try to encourage and bring her to your level.

A word is enough for the wise.

Redoil:
all these boys forming men online

after advicing you, you will still go ahead and do what your mind tells you to do

Advice first and move on. Whether he take it or not, that shouldn't be your problem.