Save Me From Entitled Inlaws - Family (4)

Save Me From Entitled Inlaws - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Lexusgs430: 11:22pm On Feb 27, 2021

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

Have you ever heard this phrase.......... 'Change your numbers or block their numbers' ..........

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Lomprico2: 11:27pm On Feb 27, 2021

I just developed a head ache after reading this undecided

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Burgerlomo: 11:29pm On Feb 27, 2021

ImaIma1:
I don't believe it's his job to send monthly stipend to his father inlaw. He can send him money as a gift once in a while.The man has his own children who are meant to do that. And I guess the op has parents too.

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by WINDSOW(m): 11:45pm On Feb 27, 2021

kendrick9:
From your write-up you sound confrontational and bit condescending.
Well I can't say much because this is just your side of the story and it from all I can see you really don't like your in-laws so anyone advising you will be wasting his time.
If you can't put up with your in-laws then be bold and stop coming into NL to air your family squabbles

May God bless you with inlaws as his. Say a big AMEN!

1 Like

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by BadBradley: 11:45pm On Feb 27, 2021

Fixey:
You are not responsible for another. But call no one an idiot, you can't produce a pencil

Begin the solution from yourself. Work on your energy, your outburst, anger and strive to gain a more peaceful view of life.

what exactly are you trying to say ?

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ImaIma1(f): 12:01am On Feb 28, 2021

Romanoff:
Your parents in law become your parents as well and there's nothing wrong with sending them monthly stipends.

If you're buoyant enough to do it, there's absolutely nothing wrong in it.

I just don't believe it should be an obligation or that the in laws should feel entitled to it.

Yeah they do. But we should know our responsibilities to avoid people being entitled. Once you start something, they see it as their right. But when you do it once in a while, it is appreciated. They become our parents but they have children meant to care for them. The man also has his parents to care for.

The fact that someone is buoyant doesn't mean they should spend anyhow. For me, I don't believe in a man giving his FIL a stipend. The father inlaw collected bride price and all the requirements for the marriage. Should his son inlaw also be his pension plan?

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by CHIMSKY(m): 12:07am On Feb 28, 2021

Bros.
15 years?
It is getting late for you and your wife o. Time you should have spent accumulating investments for your retirement is what you have been wasting on ingrates.
See.
If anything happens and you lose your job or fall on bad times, these people whose lifestyles you have been bankrolling will join others to mock your stupidity.
Be careful.
Understand something.
It is the way you present yourself to in-laws that they will take you.
If you give them your back, they will ride you like a donkey.

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Jaqenhghar: 12:19am On Feb 28, 2021

Richy4:
In as much as what you were trying to say is correct based on your experiences or perspectives, I disagree with you to some extent.

You should realize that we all did not come from one family.. Every family is unique in their own ways.... You don't expect one to have a good family and decides to keep them at arms length because of marriage, do you?... There's an adage that says " no one requests that hot water should be kept for him/her because he/her is gonna have a terrible fall"... So if something happens to the future husbands that you were advising to stay away from families because they were married, who will come to their support?

You dobt get the picture. From this write up does this family look like the type to support their duaghter when the going gets tough?

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Jaqenhghar: 12:21am On Feb 28, 2021

Viknat:
Before I married, my father said though it will be difficult to marry from home like our parents home, but I should never marry from poor home

You think poverty is the issues. LOL. S8ddon there. You uave never married into a rich home where they will turn you to a houseboy in your home. They will make decisions that you should make....but then most Niggerian men are comfortable with this setting as long as miney is coming in

1 Like

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by damzy88: 12:37am On Feb 28, 2021

Jaqenhghar:
You think poverty is the issues. LOL. S8ddon there. You uave never married into a rich home where they will turn you to a houseboy in your home. They will make decisions that you should make....but then most Niggerian men are comfortable with this setting as long as miney is coming in

You have a point. It happens.

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by InvertedHammer: 12:49am On Feb 28, 2021

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

/
The problem is you.

If you die today, how will they survive? Once you can be honest to yourself with regards to this question, you will know what to do.

They can only talk. Nobody will pry your hands to collect money.

/

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Punstar: 1:08am On Feb 28, 2021

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

Hope your children's future is already well taken care of. Otherwise,.........I had to clear what I initially typed here...........

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Slimsly100(f): 1:22am On Feb 28, 2021

I wish I can give ur wife a little from my kinda heart. My family nor dey try nonsense with me o upon say I be last born o. I'm the nicest I can be when I want to be to them but if e enter my head, I dey cut rope for anybody.

Don't start what you can't finish na e be this ur wife case so.
Unu nor fit change number, so that anytime we unu wan talk to them na only unu go fit call Dem nor go fit?
Map out how much unu wan dey give popsy monthly about anyhow unu wan take do am. When e reach time unu call am, inform am, send the Pali. Infact anger nor gree me type my mind. I go come back when I calm down.
I wonder what's wrong with these our Nigerian family people. They feel once a relative goes abroad he's gone there to pick Money on the streets. They don't even know what u doing for a living o'er there or how u fair, angry

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by bezimo(m): 1:23am On Feb 28, 2021

MejiLoyon:
Your problem is solved already from your write-up.
I'm here to give advice to future husbands.
Keep your extended family at arms length. Note I didn't just say inlaws. Family as a whole. E get why. Never get too close. If they call don't make it too long. Go straight to the point and end it. If you call go straight to the point. If na greet greet make you comot there. If you want send money just send and gboju. If they call to say thanks answer mechanically and hang up. Laugh when you need to laugh and be serious when you need to be. Don't be readily available. No dey go every family function. This includes birthdays,namings and weddings.Create a niche and put them there. Else you will be easily manipulated and once you're under their hold you can't get away from it. This brother was just lucky.
I learnt the hard way. I wash father in-law car set chair for party, arrange washing if plates,went on errands...lol. when I gbera I couldn't escape it. This brother is lucky . My experience cost me something of great value. But I learnt. And I hope you will.

And never forget, FAMILY PROBLEM NO DEY FINISH. Peace

Gbam

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by sharone21(f): 1:28am On Feb 28, 2021

Is there a way an agreement can be reached with your father in law that money will only be sent to him if his ATM card can only be with him and if possible that you would want to know how he spends the money( his daughter, your wife can keep such records for him).
Also, is your wife working? If she is, let her give her dad money, adding to what you give. If she no dey work, let her fund something doing knowing she has a demanding family.
Don't send money to your father in law for his rent but directly to his landlord. I would have said you also not send money but things in kind, anyway use wisdom.

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by bugatti02(m): 2:12am On Feb 28, 2021

I respect your decision I've learnt that before marriage..... Now I've position everyone........ My in-law can't call me and jam talk...my head no kuku dey reason you... You go collect strange up.... Na him give them the platform now it's a big issue.

MejiLoyon:
Your problem is solved already from your write-up.
I'm here to give advice to future husbands.
Keep your extended family at arms length. Note I didn't just say inlaws. Family as a whole. E get why. Never get too close. If they call don't make it too long. Go straight to the point and end it. If you call go straight to the point. If na greet greet make you comot there. If you want send money just send and gboju. If they call to say thanks answer mechanically and hang up. Laugh when you need to laugh and be serious when you need to be. Don't be readily available. No dey go every family function. This includes birthdays,namings and weddings.Create a niche and put them there. Else you will be easily manipulated and once you're under their hold you can't get away from it. This brother was just lucky.
I learnt the hard way. I wash father in-law car set chair for party, arrange washing if plates,went on errands...lol. when I gbera I couldn't escape it. This brother is lucky . My experience cost me something of great value. But I learnt. And I hope you will.

And never forget, FAMILY PROBLEM NO DEY FINISH. Peace

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 2:38am On Feb 28, 2021

Fixey:
You are not responsible for another. But call no one an idiot, you can't produce a pencil

Begin the solution from yourself. Work on your energy, your outburst, anger and strive to gain a more peaceful view of life.

STFU! They are IDIOTS!!!!

3 Likes

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 2:48am On Feb 28, 2021

Romanoff:
Your parents in law become your parents as well and there's nothing wrong with sending them monthly stipends.

If you're buoyant enough to do it, there's absolutely nothing wrong in it.

I just don't believe it should be an obligation or that the in laws should feel entitled to it.

Bad bad bad advise!

Infact worthless advise especially for those abroad!

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 2:50am On Feb 28, 2021

Hahjascho:
@Badmusatari,

It's so glaring that the main coconut head in the family is the eldest man you perceive to be irresponsible. Find a way to be blunt with him without acting rude.

As responsibilities no dey finish, create your own family budget... get some personal project mainly for ur family where reasonable investment goes it. This will restructure ur response to them when any other baseless need arises.

Another thing is, find a good problem in their family, mostly what connects the father and that first born....then solve it, as a long term project.

Nothing dey there to dey hide. In case of any other demand, give it willingly.... don't allow anyone force you into doing what will wreck you.

Also carry your wife along.

They are surely going to wreck him!

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 2:53am On Feb 28, 2021

Bodyodour:
All this is your fault. After all battling and suffering to reach abroad, you went ahead to pick a hungry Nigerian girl from a hungry family instead of marrying someone of your class. Have you seen a rich nigeria girl come back to Nigeria and marry a poor guy? Instead of marrying the guy, they will rather die single. Spits..

Guys,if you have money,better marry someone who dey the same class with you oo!

BEST ADVISE!!!!

BEST BEST BEST ADVISE!!!!

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 2:54am On Feb 28, 2021

Tajbol4splend:
That's what you get when you overrate your in-laws, marry your woman and never look back, it's not about feud but it is what it is. In-laws should know they are not part of the marriage and if they don't know, you should let them know but you should do that using your number 6

Another great advise!!!!

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 2:57am On Feb 28, 2021

SatanicPriest:
give them money if you have it , dont be stingy

Nonsense!!!

When you get abroad and you are working round the clock come and be doing Mr Generous.....

You will clock 65 with nothing to your name.

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Waterlrd: 3:08am On Feb 28, 2021

Boss13:
Your communication skills is really horrible and it makes your post a difficult read.

Don't belittle the young man dude .If you too has gotten good education , you would understand ,no matter horrible or terrible you think he sound.

1 Like

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Fixey: 3:15am On Feb 28, 2021

ibedun:
STFU! They are IDIOTS!!!!

Get lost, midget

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by ibedun: 3:18am On Feb 28, 2021

Fixey:
Get lost, midget

6'2 height

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Richy4(m): 3:47am On Feb 28, 2021

Jaqenhghar:
You dobt get the picture. From this write up does this family look like the type to support their duaghter when the going gets tough?

I got the picture perfectly man... I think you were the one that did not understand me... The guy was advising all future husbands... The key word was ALL.....Including the ones from good homes... it was like painting every family with the same brush.. that was why I said i did not agree to some extent... maybe u should read his advise again.. if you advice every young man including the ones that comes from a good home to avoid their families, do you think it's right?

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Richy4(m): 3:51am On Feb 28, 2021

edoairways:
Not all families support one another. Some families are devil. Some friends are better off than families

I agree with you buddy that some families does not support one another... if you check the guy I quoted, he was advising all future husband... including the ones from good homes.... that was why I said I agreed with him to some extent... every family are not the same...

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Richy4(m): 3:58am On Feb 28, 2021

payloader:
My brother these days friends are more family than extended family members, and they are not as demanding.

I agree with you my brother... I was not really against his advise( I mean the guy I quoted)... But I was not happy with generalization... If a future husband as he puts it comes from a good home that is always supportive, and the guy keeps his family at arms length, Only shows up when he needed them, do you think that was a good idea?

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by Martinelli35: 4:40am On Feb 28, 2021

Fixey:
You are not responsible for another. But call no one an idiot, you can't produce a pencil

Begin the solution from yourself. Work on your energy, your outburst, anger and strive to gain a more peaceful view of life.

Nigga, no Dey misyarn, An idiot is an idiot, nothing about that has anything to do with anger. When someone has not undergone something like this, it’s easy to form saint. Am sure when you undergo what the OP has gone through, you will even add Fool and Ode.

1 Like

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by tmoneyu: 4:40am On Feb 28, 2021

I've had almost the same scenario but I intelligently walked away from them , guy if u want my advise ,love your wife and make her understand that she has her own family ,then fix them on monthly stipends ,30k a month to her dad ,whatever happens is not ur biz ,try not to poke nose in there doings ,create a project for ur self ,especially building of a house or any other investment ,that will make ur wife focused if not u will come back empty ....

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by kizyalex10(m): 4:49am On Feb 28, 2021

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

lolz bro the solution is simple,the way u handle ur marriage is d way it should be,first if u have sent the basic money u feel u will send,then relax, nd forget him,if possible hold a meeting with his siblings on hw much they will contribute every month or 6 months for their upkeep.if possible move the dad out of the house even if its 1 room nd get a nanny for him.if the dad condoles him being irresponsible then he should nt complain when he drains his money for his upkeep.once u people send d money ,finish if dat man ever calls or send a test go bck nd bombard him,wash him down use ur mouth,convert it to poison nd finish his life to the point he contemplate suicide,if he wanna fight u,like deal with him permanently, u re nt wicked bro u re only making him to sit up.its because he has options that is making him live irresponsibly.

Re: Save Me From Entitled Inlaws by wirinet(m): 5:16am On Feb 28, 2021

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

Sorry for your predicament but you caused your own problems. Your wife's family problems is not your own responsibility, you can assist if you choose to, but they are not your responsibility. Did you not pay the complete bride of price? Did you not complete all the marriage demands? So what do you owe her family again?

The problem is that it's you that spoilt them. You started out by being an ATM and they expect you to forever be an ATM. How come it's your responsibility to build house for her dad? Have you build a house for your own dad and mum, who toiled to make sure you went to school and became a success in life? What contributions has your wife's family contributed to your life?

My wife's dad tried this shit with me, I played ball to for a couple of years, but when the stress became too much, I stopped and blocked his number and in fact all her family's number except her junior sister who is very reasonable. I told my wife that if she wants this marriage to succeed we must build our finances and lives together, because at the time 100% of the family expenses fell on my head. I could not take her own family responsibility as well. We did not see her father for 8 years. He only came to see his grand children about 2 months ago, and I apologized for all, but explained that I needed to build my family. We speak occasionally and he still ask for money, but this time with begging.
A man must learn up to stand up for himself and his family.

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