₦airaland Forum

aroundtheearth:
Tell her family she's threatening to abandon you with the kids, which is very selfish and irresponsible of her. Idk how the thought could even cross her mind. She needs to get a job or earning some money via a business of some sort. Providing for your family shouldn't be your sole responsibility, especially with 3 kids.

who’s going to care for the 3 little children (same age) while she’s out working?

veave:
Coco leave this guy alone. When someone makes a comment you know if he has first hand experience or not. This one is probably unmarried.

My concern is how they can cope with the meagre amount. And it's not like the children are already big enough to eat garri and soup o

some things just blow my mind honestly. This internet gives them free hand to come and throw in nonsense contributions devoid of experience and empathy.

One new born is capable of monumental stress on the whole family. Gives mom sleepless upon sleepless nights. I can’t imagine 3 at once. With limited resources.

Then OP even has the nerve to complain of being denied sex. Who has sexual urges when they have those mountain of problems to solve? He probably won’t even agree to wear protection to avoid more children coming into that mix. But all he has are complaints .
I bet that poor woman is stressed out of her goddam mind.

Kriss216:
So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

Kriss, nwaanyi muru nwa ohuru, na wukwahu otu, m'owu abuo o!
UMU ATO KRISS!!! Ka I si "what is the wife contributing to the family?" I nwekwere obi o!
Jishi ike nnoo!

cococandy:
some things just blow my mind honestly. This internet gives them free hand to come and throw in nonsense contributions devoid of experience and empathy.

One new born is capable of monumental stress on the whole family. Gives mom sleepless upon sleepless nights. I can’t imagine 3 at once. With limited resources.

Then OP even has the nerve to complain of being denied sex. Who has sexual urges when they have those mountain of problems to solve? He probably won’t even agree to wear protection to avoid more children coming into that mix. But all he has are complains.
I bet that poor woman is stressed out of her goddam mind.

Omo. The poor woman is probably having a mental breakdown, calculating how to make 25k go round and still take care of 3 toddlers all by herself, house chores then open leg for almighty oga at night.


Uncle OP PLEASE FIND OTHER MEANS TO IMPROVE YOUR INCOME. in your last post you where already adviced to do that

The old saying "look before you leap" is always forgotten when lust overtakes humans!
Once I advices a total stranger: don't stay under your father's roof, eating your mother's soup and have a girlfriend. It's not proper. If you can kiss a girl, then, leave home, earn yourself some work and cash then you can get all you need from a woman....and when events become challenging...you will man up!
The guy thanked me, took my number and a year later called to thank me again...he had started a great life for himself.
Well, already you have stumbled...you now have to offer greater sacrifice to stabilize your family.
Why not diminish your mom's stipend by half for a while and add to your family expenses.
Get a small table for your wife to trade for now to augment the cash you give her then spread your tentacles into other things...it won't be easy, and that's why I said you're going to offer greater sacrifice.... when things stabilize, reward your Mom for her understanding....
Be brave... when the going gets tough...the tough get......

The only advise i can is this: PLAN AHEAD.
Not 1, 2 or 3 years.
Plan like 10, 20 years ahead.
Plan for your Future and that of the Kids and Your wife.
If you begin to plan ahead it will keep you Focused and you will be able to endure whatever hardship you are Facing now.
If you cannot change your present; YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR FUTURE.

Slynation:
A whole triplet....This one loud oO

Instead of quarrelling everyday with her, be a man of little words, no matter the level of provocation, do nothing/say nothing, just let it slide....

I'm used to saying "May my preeq never put me into trouble one day" but it has partially landed me into one, one day I will post my own story....!!

Share am now biko..

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

For triplets, it's like you don't know what you are saying. Not when that 50% is 25k. If you have had one baby, you will know that 3 at once is a heavy load.

Duru9:
Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

You guys are hilarious on this thread. Which sister will leave her life to come and take care of 3 children? Is it that easy? And if he is to get a help, she won't collect small money.

If there's still love between him and his wife, let them put heads together to find a way to make more money because money is the problem. Feeling frustrated and engaging in fights daily will not help them.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage my plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stay in her father house, her mother was fine with it as long I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children. I. Pleaded her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister. My mother in law refuse saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to saved enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me. My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complain about the money not being enough I refuse giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but  she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know its too late now to change the past but what should I do?

E no get money.....but E sabi fvck

Mariangeles:
If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.

You said it all.
Op follow the advice above and things will be ok.
Don't regret marrying your wife. That thought alone is enough to destroy your marriage.
May the good Lord open more financial opportunities for you to take care of your family.

You’re absolutely correct. However after the deed has been done and the children are here they both need to step up and be responsible. The wife is already over stretched and he’s complaining despite his inadequate contribution

Klass99:
@ Veave & Coco,

Which one is poor woman? Who sent her message? When you say young girls/women should embrace a life for themselves first, embrace honest work for honest living first, before delving into marriage and motherhood - fools come after you to say feminists this or feminists that, we are dissing marriage in favour of career.

Whereas that's not the case, it is simply for self preservation to guard against unnecessary suffer head and downward life trajectories, like this woman has gotten herself into. Okay let's even say finding honest work to do was hard to come by......

What about having certain standards as women, which we are not willing to go below like;

1. Never cohabiting with a man you're not married to - I suspect this was part of their saga.

2. Not taking in for a man, until he has respectfully done right by you and your people, in performing the traditional marriage rites.

3. Not doing baby mama tinz and other standards.

I am not one to judge, but the way men and women are conducting themselves in relationships these days is mind boggling, especially the women because we tend to lose more when things go awry. It is hard to empathize with certain people in certain situations abeg!

Lalasticlala, what will you do if you were in OP's shoe

One child is a headache, three children is a migraine. Its not easy

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage my plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stay in her father house, her mother was fine with it as long I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children. I. Pleaded her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister. My mother in law refuse saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to saved enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me. My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complain about the money not being enough I refuse giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but  she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know its too late now to change the past but what should I do?

What you could have done is keep ur priq in ur pant since you broke and staying with family.

ImaIma1:
For triplets, it's like you don't know what you are saying. Not when that 50% is 25k. If you have had one baby, you will know that 3 at once is a heavy load.

my dear one baby consumes almost 20k per month not to talk of 3. She cant breaetfeed them all na. Baby food is now expensive sef

Klass99:
@ Veave & Coco,

Which one is poor woman? Who sent her message? When you say young girls/women should embrace a life for themselves first, embrace honest work for honest living first, before delving into marriage and motherhood - fools come after you to say feminists this or feminists that, we are dissing marriage in favour of career.

Whereas that's not the case, it is simply for self preservation to guard against unnecessary suffer head and downward life trajectories, like this woman has gotten herself into. Okay let's even say finding honest work to do was hard to come by......

What about having certain standards as women, which we are not willing to go below like;

1. Never cohabiting with a man you're not married to - I suspect this was part of their saga.

2. Not taking in for a man, until he has respectfully done right by you and your people, in performing the traditional marriage rites.

3. Not doing baby mama tinz and other standards.

I am not one to judge, but the way men and women are conducting themselves in relationships these days is mind boggling, especially the women because we tend to lose more when things go awry. It is hard to empathize with certain people in certain situations abeg!

This one you're saying we already know. What we are talking about now is the way forward. The woman cannot work now because she needs to take care of 3 toddlers. This is the cheapest labour they can get right now because dayca would cost much and bringing in another person to look after the children is an extra mouth to feed. That is why I suggested that the man should look for ways to increase his earnings. The deed has already been done na remedy we dey find now

Mariangeles:
Kriss, nwaanyi muru nwa ohuru, na wukwahu otu m'owu abuo o!
UMU ATO KRISS!!! Ka I si "what is the wife contributing to the family?" I nwekwere obi o!
Jishi ike nnoo!

Mariah, Kedu ihe ichoro kà nwoke mmadu mè? Ichoro kà oje zuo oshi before imeta na ona agbali ike ya iji zuo nwanyi ya na umu ya?

How do they starve people of sex, like u don't understand

Hmmmmm
O ga o
This life no balance o
God is ur strength

Doesn't your wife work or own a business?

RedSquid:
. Baby. Who in the world will take care of 3 kids asides the mother. My dear sit down your turn go soon reach

Epic

Poor people sperm and wombs are very fertile

Oboy...una just start, already 3 children don land.

Bros, their is nothing you can do, for your survival sake, reduce or stop the money you are sending to your mum.
Your 55k must complete to take care of your family.

Responsibility is at the door, try to find another job to complement the one you have.

Lastly stop thinking about sex and sex denial, bros, the problem you have now is more than sex.

Liposure:
One child is a headache, three children is a migraine. Its not easy

I tell you.
Triplets, even for a rich man is quite handful.

25k for a woman with triplets, then his mum 10k.
Ogaa o.
People are already asking what is she doing.
What will a woman with triplets do bikonu?

The only money you need out of your salary is tfare. The rest should go to that lady. For now, she need all the help she can get.
Why are you giving your mum 10k when you all live together? Is she not making her own money? She is rent free.
You should be cooking and eating together.
Wifey will manage the food industry, if mum is idle, she should help take care of the kids and wifey should look for ways to argument. I hope as you are giving your mum, you remembered she too have a mum.

When u start doing the right thing, even with all the stress of taking care of triplets , you will enjoy that lady to the fullest.

oceanized25:
Brother erm,your wife is right o...e be like you stingy small.
You give ur wife 20k n later 25k after many argument for the family upkeep...you guys are 4 in number,o wrong nau.
I am single,I don't consider myself as one who spends recklessly at all but uses 40k monthly...but somehow you feel you,wife,n kids should use 25k?
Try raise the money for family upkeep,I think 45k or 50 could be something for a prudent woman considering you don't have much.

Werey�����

thebosstrevor1:
Poor people sperm and wombs are very fertile

Oboy...una just start, already 3 children don land.

Bros, their is nothing you can do, for your survival sake, reduce or stop the money you are sending to your mum.
Your 55k must complete to take care of your family.

Responsibility is at the door, try to find another job to complement the one you have.

25k in this present Nigeria is never enough for triplets.
If they are 3 kids with age differences, then I can say that there can manage but triplets' I disagree.

He knows why the wife is quarreling with him and I have spelled that out to him.

He want us to condemn the poor woman. Look at his mouth' I'm regretting.
When he was straffing without' did he call us.
Mtcheew

descarado:
25k in this present Nigeria is never enough for triplets.
If they are 3 kids with age differences, then I can say that there can manage but triplets' I disagree.

He knows why the wife is quarreling with him and I have spelled that out to him.

He want us to condemn the poor woman. Look at his mouth' I'm regretting.
When he was straffing without' did he call us.
Mtcheew

He earns 55k he should give her about 40k, he should stop giving his mum money and should not think about savings now.

He should get another job, pampers, baby milk, if the wife is not breast feeding are all expensive.

The man is still talking about sex, if i was him, i don't think sex will be in my books, the kind work i go work, my wife will beg me to stop.

Uber and taxify is now available, he should join that and work hard, things will change.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage my plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stay in her father house, her mother was fine with it as long I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children. I. Pleaded her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister. My mother in law refuse saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to saved enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me. My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complain about the money not being enough I refuse giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but  she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know its too late now to change the past but what should I do?

1. Accept Jesus
2. Accept your wife/marriage
3. Stop giving her money, rather make plans with her over your entire income. Let her know and contribute on how to spend your money.

God's grace.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage my plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stay in her father house, her mother was fine with it as long I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children. I. Pleaded her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister. My mother in law refuse saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to saved enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me. My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complain about the money not being enough I refuse giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but  she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know its too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Where are you based?