₦airaland Forum

Wiseandtrue:
Nigerians knows where to purchase cars

It would have been better if they add the means of payment so as to make things easier for Nigerians just as they do in other countries.

From the view of things right now, our government will not be able to achieve this feat in another century!

Ordinary tablet my people have to enrol for N-Power to be able to pay in instalments .

Since the BVN is there why not make plans with the bank and offer such services to whoever wants to get it

Banks in Nigeria are sleeping. They are just there to reap off their customers without a way of giving back! Shiooor

You are on point.

truthsayer009:
First of all, There are no Scarcity of Husbands nor Scarcity of Men. The economy is hard & cost of living is so high right now. A lot of men in their 30's are still struggling financially. So that has nothing to with why people are dying.

Globally speaking men have lower life expectation span than that of women. For sure, So thats not an issue.

People are dying untimely generally, you are not just noticing the female folks who are also dying.

Tagbo's death was a stupid one, he lived a reckless life. So you can't be using him in your example.

The only issue that was valid is the implication of drugs such as Codeine, Tramadol etc But then are you ready to raise awareness about this issue?

The write up did not in any way say men die because of economic challenges. like you rightly stated Tagbo's death was as a result of what I will call dangerous living. But then lots of guys live dangerous life.

Benita27:
The both of them aren't serious. Are they not aware that marriage comes with responsibility?. Did the man sell some fake dreams to her before accepting his marriage proposal?.

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Your comment shows that you are yet to come to terms with the reality of Marriage. The case here is that of a predator husband. Which responsible man leaves his wife to provide for his family when he is not dead or invalid? Am sure you know that no man will allow his wife to rule over him "Economically". My prayer is that you will not be a victim of a predator guy.

Benita27:
Those deaths you used as parameter to arrive at your conclusion were not natural. They died 'cause they were living their lives unchecked. You don't make such conclusions on such basis...I've no idea that young guys have been dying of late.

@Benita27 that you have no idea that young male guys have been dying Of late does not mean that they are not passing on. Like I stated earlier, those deaths are scattered and isolated, and it unfortunate we do not have a national database of that takes care of such issue. If Nigerians report death of relations to the right authority you will be amazed at the rate single guys are passing on.

That said, I will accept your view that living an "unchecked" life is a contributor to early death among men.

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The untimely death of single guys is increasingly becoming alarming in our nation. The recent death of some of Davido's buddies is just a tip of the iceberg. Lot of isolated and unannounced death of many single guys spread across the nation and that is something to worry about.

It is common knowledge that men die early when compared with their female counterpart. Globally speaking men have lower life expectation span than that of women. For instance, according to the World Health Organisation report, adult male in Nigeria have a life expectation rate of about 45-50 years while adult female have life expectation rate of about 55-60 years.

The problem of early death of single guys, men, husbands and fathers is that it denies men the chance of enjoying the fruit of their labour. Some men die shortly after obtaining academic degree, some few weeks to their marriage or couple of weeks after marriage, some leave for the beyond after building their home, they never live long to enjoy the labour of their sweat.

Some men pass on before their children graduate from higher institutions, and lots of fathers never attend any of their children's wedding because they died before their children got married.

It is quite sad to find mothers around while their children are celebrating important events in their lives while the fathers who toil all the days of their lives providing for the children and wife unfortunately are not alive to witness the celebration of their children's success.

Even here on Nairaland there are threads on Scarcity of Husbands, or Scarcity of Men. The truth is that lots of single guys are dying early, untimely death among single men is creating problem for ladies that are supposed to be married to them. Am sure Tagbo's girlfriend will have to start all over, not to mention the emotional pain she must go through at the demise of her deceased lover.

Honestly speaking, i think we men need to start thinking of how to live longer and enjoy the fruit of our hustle, we men should stop living for the moment and think of the future.

You see One major factor that I believe is causing this early death among men is what i call wrong mindset. Wrong mindset are ideologies and lifestyle that destroys the opportunity of living a long and healthy life.

For instance the scourge of substance abuse that is running wild among Nigerians especially single guys is one major problem that needs to be tackled early. It is no news that lots of guys abuse Codeine, Tramadol and many other lethal drugs for whatever reason they use them.

Speaking to pharmacist about the implication of abusing such drugs his response was that it the damaging effect tells when the abuser reaches their forties or fifties. At that time the bones will have suffered serious damage such that it will no longer be able to provide the needed stamina and strength. Which simply means that most of those folks abusing such drugs will have a hard time moving around even eating may become difficult because the teeth too might have dropped out of the gum considering the fact that they are too weak to remain intact.

Guys Let's talk about this issue, what causes this ugly trend and what is the way out? How can we help ourselves in ensuring that we live long to witness life events of our children and live to see our grand children.

Your body language shows how confident you are. It is written all over every time you stand before people. Whether you are aware of it or not tis shows on you like a garment.

Irrespective of whether you desire to accomplish you, need a conspicuously appealing body language to succeed. You need a confidence life style body language to obtain success at all times.

To get this done here are what you need to integrate into your confidence regimen in order to possess A1 in Body Language Assessment.



1. Voice Tone.

You voice tone gives you access or shots access against you in the presence of people. When you use the right voice tone it launches you forward.

Right voice tone resonates with people it creates a pleasing feeling in their inside, and that is what you want to happen when chatting girls up.

One irritating tone common with most guys is the nasal voice tone. This tone is a tone off. This type of voice tone is mostly used unconsciously by confidence lacking guys.

The nasal voice tone is like scratching a iron rod on a steel plate, it creates a nauseating and repelling feelings. So if you find girls rejecting you chances are that your voice tone was horrible.

That said, what does a confident voice tone sound like and how can you possess it?

A confident voice tone is deep, rich and have a sexual appealing tone and It emanates from your inside.

So how do you develop it?

Do the following exercise until it is ingrained in you.

Place you right hand on your head and say this is my head. You will notice that you voice tone resonates within your nasal area.

Now place your right hand on your lips and say this is my lips. Now notice that the tone concentration is a bit away from your nasal area.

Ok now place your right hand on your chest and say this is my chest. Now notice the glaring difference in your voice tone. You will notice that it is sounds deeper than the nasal tone and it comes from end of your throat.

Now place your right hand on your abdomen and say this is my abdomen. You you must seen the stark difference as the abdomen area generates a far richer and highly resonating vocal tone, and you will notice your throat also vibrating while say this is my abdomen.

The key to having a deep, rich and attractive voice tone is to ensure that whenever you speaking to a girl ensure that your chest is resonating within you.



2. Carriage.

Your carriage tell as lot about you, it shows girls how bold and mature you have become.

The way you walk and carry yourself tell others what goes on in your mind. When you see a man walking briskly you can conclude that he has something important to attend to.

When confident people walk, they walk with a mission. When a confident man enters a room the walk into the room as if he own it. Now that is how to walk.

So how do you achieve this type of walk.

Practice the following.

When you walk, keep your head held high, do not drop it or look towards the ground while walking.

When walking keep your shoulders back, do not let it slop forward.

When walking ensure your tummy is tucked in and consciously move with a deliberate step.

Avoid shifting your feet or looking at the ground, keep a stead eye contact, it will increase your level,of confidence astronomically.


3. Facial Expression

Your facial expression counts when expression your confidence during an engagement.

One sure way to disarm people is to smile. Learn to smile deliberately when conversing with people.

Smiling put girls at ease around you when you smile. It douse the tension (and tendency to fight) when speaking to a total stranger,

When you talk to a girl and maintain a smile it smoothens the conversation, it relaxes the girl and makes her comfortable taking to you.

You need to know that smile does not necessarily mean your teeth should be visible. Look at James Bond hardly do you seem him laugh but he smiles a lot when approaching ladies.

Master the art of smiling to girls.


4. Eye Contact.

To have a win at all times and in all situations with people either with girls, in business or in normal daily life interactions you must apply the eye contact rule.

Your eye is the window of your body and it gives a whole lot of impression about who you are. No matter the quality of cloth you put on, if your violate the eye contact rule you will come across as an immature adult.

Eye contact rule simply means having a steady and strong eye contact when engaging anyone. Whenever you are talking with a person, always ensure that you maintain a concentrated and communicative eye contact with that person.

When you have a locked-in eye contact when talking with a person it shows you are present, it shows you are mindful of the person.

Generally speaking when you maintain a strong eye contact you are perceived as sincere, genuine and honest.

Shifting your eyes, avoiding eye contact or looking at the floor when talking with people gives them the impression that your are insincere and untrustworthy.

Develop the habit of looking at people especially girls straight in the eyes, maintain a steady gaze at them when conversing.

Here is a quick way to develop a strong eye contact habit.

When walking on the street, maintain a strong and steady eye contact at girls coming towards your direction. Do not turn your eyes aware from theirs, rather retain it. When a girl looks away from you then you can look away too.

This technique may be difficult at first because, you are actually entering their personal space so to say, but girls understand that, they know that guys always look at them and it is the confident and bold guys that retain their gaze.

Don't give up on this technique but keep at it. As you persevere, your brain will get used to making eye contacts by default. When this happens you have entered the world of those who make strong and steady eye contact.

For hands on experience on how masters of the game display confidence through the use their body language. I want you go get a couple of actions movies by James Bond, or any of the fast and furious series, or Bourne Series.

When you get these movies, focus your attention on the actors' body language, consciously monitor the way they walk and talk, their voice tone as well as their smile.

Take time to check the level of their physical fitness, even their mode of dressing, am sure by the time you watch a couple of those movies you will have a perfect and applicable understanding of how to develop a confident body language.

@Op Husband Scarcity is real.

Globally speaking more ladies of marriage age are finding it more difficult to find a "responsible" man that they can marry, it is not only a Nigerian problem. The increasing demand for godly and responsible men is a pointer to deep rooted problems that is bedeviling the 20century singles.

Population wise, there are more women than men, and that in it self is a problem. The problem may not be visible but it is creating a damaging effect when viewed from economic point of view.

For instance you have more female in teaching professions especially in primary and secondary schools not to mention tertiary institutions. Most Organisations have lots of women as staff; as a matter of fact it is easier for employees to engage young single ladies with relevant academic qualifications than engaging their equally qualified male counterparts.

The reasons been that, ladies are cooperative and dedicated in job related positions more than men, men are more competitive and work with a "search for a greener pasture out their mentality".

Of course I will not elaborate on the sex appeal that comes with single ladies doing marketing and PR stuff for companies which makes it easier for them to get employed faster than their male counterparts.

For this reason a lot of single guys are losing employment opportunities to ladies and that is making a lot of men crazy because they are loosing their economic power to women. And when a man does not have the economic power to provide basic needs for himself not to mention a woman, he will see no reason why he should delay marriage or opt for single life or go for baby mamas.

Another reason why men are scarce from a marital perspective is that of men's lifestyle. I mean single guys live a lot of dangerous and destructive lifestyle which shorten their days and that creates more challenges for single ladies who are supposed to be married to them.

For instance as at the time of this writing there are over 67,000 male prisoners held in different prison facilities all over the Nigeria and bulk of these male prisoners are single and unmarried. For your information there are just 1,357 female prisoners currently in custody just imagine the huge and alarming difference.

A lot of single guys are dead as a result of alcohol, peer influence, gambling and cult related activities. All these isolated male death all accumulate in creating vacuum of single men. Only God knows the number of single guys that had paid the ultimate price with their life because of their religious affiliation to Bokoharam.

What is the way out for single ladies of marriageable age?

If you find a guy that shows interest and there is chemistry between the two of you, please don't look at the size of his television, rather look at his vision, he may not look like a success now, but it is just a matter of time before he becomes a branch manager in a bank.

If He has good work ethic, has character and godly, abeg don,t let that guy go. The male to female ratio is increasing daily. Younger and more productive ladies are surfacing on daily basis. If a busting guy comes across your way don't hesitate in giving him a try, delay may be dangerous.

Pynkylypz:
Lol.. I know right! Even more. My future husband go enjoy me wella i swear. Op nice write up.

@Pynklylypz that is the spirit. Men always want to enjoy their wives, as a matter of fact when a man can't enjoy his wife his life becomes frustrating and unbearable. It's a man's world but without women it is nothing and meaningless.

One wonders why are celebrity marriages failing globally? The cause is in two words, "LOVE" and "RESPECT". The foundation of marriage is laid on love and respect.

It takes love on the part of a man to marry a woman, most men know that they will never marry a woman they are not in love with, even when a man marries a woman he is not really in love with, he will not bother much about his relationship with her. Thus the increase in number of baby mamas tells you that men are abandoning their provider and protecting roles because they do not truly love those ladies. If a man truly loves a woman he will declare to the world that the woman is his both in words and deed - a signal to other men that she is taken.

And when a woman finds a man she loves, a man she truly loves, she will respect him. She will honour him and care for him regardless of what he earns or brings home. When a woman is forced into marrying a man she does not love, she will abandon her primary role of an helpmate which reflects in her I-don't-care way of relating with her husband.

That said, celebrity husband most times don't truly love their wife, only few do. One sure way of detecting if a man truly loves his wife is through fidelity, expecially sexual faithfulness. As a man grows in political and social status, or becomes more finanancially prosperous, exposure to sexual temptations become extremely high, if the man is not disciplined enough to flee all tempting situations he will fall for it.

It is understandable but not an excuse when a man due to one reason or another let down is guards and fall into extra marital affair at a point in time in is marital life. But when a married man keeps a string of side chicks, to the point of telling his wife that his outside sexual excapade is his personal problem and not hers most times leads to divorce. And as we all know, a lot of celebrity husbands are constantly seeking sexual escapades.
Please read this: "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." Ephesians 5:28

On the flip side, most celebrity married ladies have issues with respecting their husband. Truth be told, a lot of celebrity ladies enagage in status marriage, not neccessarily out of love. They engage in marriage just for the title "Mrs." some will even hang on till they have a kid, there after go solo.
For a woman to successfully raise her children she needs time and resources to do this, so she needs a man to protect and provide her while she nurse the child into adulthood. But when she becomes financially independent, she can as well foot the bill without demanding financially backing for the training and nursing of the child from her husband.

So when a celebrity woman with strong financial base does not truly love the man she marries, for her to sincerely respect him and submit to his leadership will be very difficult, she will call his bluff if he threatens her to send her packing. This explanation is one major reason why mothers who are single parent is rampant in western world. Unfortunately the trend is fast becoming a norm among celebrity ladies in our nation.

God knew that civilization will empower women and place them on the same financial pedestal with men and it will only take respect on the part of women to enjoy a lasting marriage. This is why God said " Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Colossians 3:18

In counseling and marriage circuit, some set of people are called dangerous spouse or predator partners.
The case of the man here is obviously that of a predator spouse.

You see, there are lots of predator guys and ladies out there, all they are looking for are hardworking and responsible partners that are willinging but gullibly desire to marry them. Once the marriage is consummated a typical predator partner will gradually begin to display his or her true Colour. Predator partners will abscond all responsibility when he is needed most, their thought is why bother when the wife is capable. A predator wife will abscond all forms of responsibility when the husband is capable to finance everything.

One common denominator with vpredator spouses is that they are never there when needed most. They just don't care. For instance most predator wife will most times be there for their spouses, they are either attending one party or event, that the kidds do not attend school does not worry them, women like them will say " you can stay at home whenever your father comes he will sort out your school fee issue" despite the fact that she has enough money on her to pay for the fee.

The advice to your sister is that she needs to mind the type of guys that hang around her. She needs to open her eyes and grade the men that walks into her life. She should evaluate their work ethics, type of work they do, their life style as well as their marital history.

A responsible man will always provide for his family irrespective of the economic situation, even when he is out of work he still finds a means of providing and protecting his family. A man that refuses to provide and protect his family is simply a dangerous man.

Unfortunately many dangerous men are roaming the streets seeking gullible ladies to devour.

1. Praise And Approval
Men have infamously tender egos. Women should understand that men need frequent reassurance about themselves, their career paths, their efficacy as partners, their sexual prowess, and their attractiveness (among other things).
You will be cherished by your husband if you constantly praise him for those things he is doing right. While it may be true that men need relatively less frequent verbal praise than their female counterparts, this isn’t the kind of gesture that requires keeping score. Why not just have more of a good thing? So ladies, let your praise loose. Tell your man exactly what you find attractive about him. Let him know what physical features of his are your favourites. Tell him how attractive you find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something, or when he takes you on a date. Your praise won’t make him
cocky; it will help him feel loved. And (bonus) the more you praise his positives, the more you will see them.

2. Respect Him.
Men feel respect as love. If your husband feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you. The thought process behind that being “If she doesn’t respect who I am at my core, then how can she really want what is best for me?” If you the wife does not respect your husband's path or mission in life, then he will find it very difficult to feel other than an
anxious need to distance himself from you.

3. A Sense Of Sexual Connection
Both men and women connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through communication and men connect better through sex. Does this mean that your husband need to have sex with you every day in order to feel connected?
Not necessarily. Your husband, more often than not, connect through indicators of sexual access just as much as they do through sex. Often, your husband will initiate sex just to make sure that you are still sexually available to him, if he reaches across the bed for you, even showing the willingness to embrace him, to kiss him deeply, and to romantically engage him could be enough to make him feel loved.

4. Give Your Man Space
By default men are lone rangers while women are intimate. Men are primarily drawn towards independence and the women toward dependence..
It is not for you to draw the balance point. This will always be a balancing act of closeness and separateness. But rest assured, suffocating a man (either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour) is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship. Your husband need time for his hobbies, time with his friends, and time to toil away on his projects to feel fulfilled.
When women needed to solve a problem, they will connecting with close friends and family and discuss their issues. Conversely, when men have a problem to solve, they would leave everyone to be alone with their thoughts.

So let your husband roam. Let him breathe. Leave your husband play to his devices, whether his car, phone or computer game. He will be man will be very happy for you to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the strength of your bond enough to let him have his space.
Did you know that Jesus at age twelve left the company of his parent and family members to hang out with doctors of law in the synagogue for three whole days? Luke 2:42-46.

So if you find your husband or teenage son went and hanged out at a friend's place or at work all day without coming home for lunch just remember that men both young and old need space..


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