₦airaland Forum

Guy you be legend, it's 2024 now,hope your doing better s and things become stable

Therock5555:
This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...

First of all my belle fine burst for laughing here

jmoore:
Monthly tenant = One month notice to quit.

Actually it's 3 days to quit

kcprince:
Na wa o. These people want affect the real estate sector with their negativity.

One of the nightmares of owning rental property in lagos is the long court process to evict tenants.

Making it one month will increase the chance of default unless the landlord will have to increase rent by 60% or more to hedge against the rental income loss incase
* the tenant default in payment
* Of high property idle time while looking for new occupants several times in a year.
* Years of court litigation to remove a tenant especially a stubborn one .

I think they should maintain the one year plan on ground. Instead they should push for agents to collect only 1 year agency and agreement instead of 2 years agency and agreement. Also they should push to reduce agency and agreement fee to 10% from the 20%( 10% agency + 10% agreement) they charge.

Also litigation between tenant and landlord should be concluded within 3 months

Don't bother it's Nigeria it won't work,even in America landlord fix there rent not government

UAObi:
Why wait till next year?

And what about those very expensive houses in very expensive estates, while people sleep under bridges. What's the plan?

Plan of what

eepeepook:
It wasn't the guy who impregnated her that proposed? Where women dey find these simps?

Do you know the meaning of simp
Or you just like talking

NaijaPrince18:
Whether you love trump or not doesn’t matter to me. Trump supporters are Nazis and as an African I’m not supporting someone who hates me

I hope you know Obama hated Africa

EnlightenedUFO:
I know there's hardship everywhere in Nigeria but in the larger picture as a human being, if you don't agree with any on this list, you may need to question your life choices.

You need a good amount of insults to reset you head

My advice for you is number one begin to read the Bible,strat praying,not shouting up and down oh,but humble prayer,pour out your heart to God,say father lord talk to him,nextly go out and begin to hustle if it 2k or 3k even 1500 daily begin to do it,if it's offloading work do it,I really feel for you because as just a young lady of 24 I've gone through all this things,born rich enjoying life suddenly my life turned upside down,I couldn't even get enrolled for jamb,i was a mess,just walking up and down, people were saying am wasting my life but i got a sales girl work, from their I began to battle it out,such things are actually sign of great destiny that the devil is trying to break oh,i was so depressed,i was drowning in sorrow intill i met my love,my precious light, thank God i be woman,in that aspect,my guy get up and move

TrustTheProcess:
You may be wondering what madness drove me to this but it isn't madness but a deep rooted depression that built up for over 15 years.

I'm 31 going on 32. A lot went wrong for me in my life. Some were mistakes of my doing while others were largely financial constraints for my family. I attended a primary school and secondary schools that would be the envy of many parents. I first realised something was wrong when I was sent home from school for inability to pay school fees. I was 16 and in SS3 in a full boarding school. My fees in 2008 was about 600k+ a term. My father rallied and got it paid so I could graduate. Parents tend to shield their children when there are financial problems so I was oblivious of it. I saw that whenever I brought brochures of schools abroad to my father, he'd ignore them. I had anticipated like many of my mates in school to further our education in the US, UK or Canada. It was when i came back to school to get my WAEC results that my dad informed the principal that I'd be applying to Yaba College of Technology. I was devastated but not deterred. I believed I could still achieve a lot there because I was bright and had a super result. I didn't write SAT or IGCSE but I thought I might write either a year after or do A levels.
That year, I wrote Poly JAMB before it was merged with regular university JAMB. I passed my Poly JAMB and was admitted into Yaba College of Technology. This is where my problems started. My now late p
maternal uncle was a student there back then and was told to monitor when the list of admitted students were posted. For some reason, he said my name didn't come out in the first, second, third and supplementary admission lists. After much probing, it was found out that my name was in the first list and the time it was discovered was well into the 1st semester so the admission was forfeited. I tried again the next year for UNILAG but I didn't get admitted for whatever reason UNILAG knows because I passed JAMB and Post JAMB. By this time, we could barely pay our rent and were barely getting by. I grew up a butter kid so I didn't have that hustle spirit. I just felt things would get better but I got a job at a business centre as a typist. Years passed doing one odd job to the other. School wasn't an option for me at this point mabecause we simply couldn't afford it and my siblings were still in secondary school. It was private but affordable. I desperately needed to up my game and I honestly believed it was up to me to uplift my family again.
I got so depressed because I wasn't heading anywhere. I owed more than half my salary before it was paid so saving was never really an option. I was just getting by. By this time, I was working at a petrol station as a fuel attendant. I strived not to cheat people and this made me the most hated amongst my colleagues. We were from vastly different backgrounds and upbringing and it showed. I couldn't hide it even if I tried. If I took a break, someone would sell from my pump to ensure I got shortages. My shortages piled up to about 50k and I cried bitterly. I later got admitted into a maritime school but couldn't complete my studies because of finances. I took up shift jobs and all my dreams and aspirations disappeared at this point cos all I wanted was to survive. I begun smoking cannabis which at the time seemed a great help to me at the time as it helped me accept my life condition. I was introduced to Yahoo but I despised the idea of scamming people. I just wasn't brought up like that. I instead took up selling cannabis as it seemed like an honest hustle even though I was aware of its illegality. This also didn't work for me because I just wasn't cut out for that kind of life.
At 29, with only WASSCE to my name. I wasn't getting any reasonable job offers. I hated my self and my life. In all of this, things didn't get better for my family either. We were a shadow of ourselves. Friends and family who would literally mob us daily were no where to be found. This was worse because both my parents were kind of breadwinners in their respective families. I would usually see my former schoolmates on social media living the dream, my dream. 90% of my mates were abroad and working. Some had married oyinbo and started cute families. The ones that didn't school there went to private unis here in Naija and are doing well. They travel whenever they please. I've seen two of my mates making front page on Nairaland for being outstanding in their respective fields. It made me bitter and want to die.
I've been harbouring this suicidal thought for about 3 years now. Why I hadn't tried was because I knew my family can't afford a funeral and it would literally kill my mom whose health had deteriorated. What triggered me was this past Christmas/New year. We barely had anything to eat. I am currently unemployed and live with my parents in a one bedroom apartment. You can imagine the drama that comes along with that. I always wonder when I see other youth doing well and ask myself if I'm being punished for something. This year is worse because of the inflation. I barely eat even though you can hardly tell by my physique.
Long story short, I found half a bottle of sniper at a public toilet and stole it. I mixed it with a bowl of okra soup and drank it. I didn't die. I guess God still has a plan for me. I've literally been waiting to die but today, I figured I'm not going to die just yet because the effect of sniper is almost instant. I decided to do it because I reached out to one of my mates abroad and he totally bullshited me. I felt I had nothing going on for me anymore. I can go for months and nobody would call my line except the occasional wrong number and immediate family. I never felt so alone in my life. My circle is literally made up of only my family members. Family is great but I still felt terribly empty. I figured people would rather donate to help bury a person rather than help when the person is alive so the burden of my funeral wouldn't weigh on my family. Two days after drinking the sniper I looked at my mother and cried bitterly. She wondered why but I told her not to worry. She said things would get better. I can only imagine the hurt I would have caused her even though I ensured nobody knew how I died because I disposed the Sniper bottle well. I currently don't feel any discomfort. I have passed urine and poo multiple times since I drank it. I guess I'm not dying soon, at least not by killing myself.

I left out quite a lot in this story trying to be as brief as possible. Suicide is never the answer. If you kill yourself life will not stop for you. Thanks for reading.

You get luck say you na fake sniper you drink,na fake full market now it's cheaper,if na original you for done ghost by now,or the sniper might have already been diluted by the origin owner,since you said stole the half bottle of sniper,you are indeed lucky

crossfm:
Hehehe.

I might not support the choice that the father made during elections,but I think he is a good father.

He had to put pride aside and desperately search for help.

I pray his child get the help.

People are really going through a lot,that's why I get annoyed when people still try to sugarcoat the situation in Nigeria today.

Our leaders must start working, enough of all the,we will,we shall,we are going to, please start doing something.

Begging doesn't make one a good father at all,don't miscalculate oh

Malroux:
Everyone must collect.

Yes oh,even me I done commot from bbw to be carry soon na only w go remain

GOTVee:
Even though I'm a born again Christian, acts of generosity like this makes we envy Muslims and their honesty. We Christians have a lot to learn from our Muslim brothers especially up north about the simplicity of life. In my next life I might be a muslim due to their rare honesty that can hardly be found in the christendom

This act actually has nothing to do with religion 👍stop getting confused

Biodun556:
Naira is bouncing back and everything is being done to fight the artificial spike but if you didn’t ask Buhari to return it to N300 (parallel market) where he met it in 2015 or you didn't ask Obasanjo to return it to N21, if you fear God, you should give Tinubu some breathing space before asking him to make it N780.

Don't die of hypocrisy.

It was N21 in 1999 before Obasanjo was sworn in and Obasanjo left it at N120-N125 in 2007. 104% fall.

In 2009, Yar’adua left it at N145-N171. Official and parallel market respectively
46% fall.

And by the time Jonathan was leaving in 2015, it was N199-N300.
129% fall.

By 2023 when Buhari left, it was N420 at official rate and N780 at parallel market.
480% fall.

Without floating it, it fell by 104% under Obasanjo: 46% under Yar'adua; 129% under Jonathan and 480% under Buhari...without floating it.

By 2027 when Tinubu will finish his term, it will be just and fair to rate his performance. You can go ahead and start to sell Toyota, the truth is what is posted above. Don’t come and be unfortunate by acting as if somebody did any good job with our exchange rate despite the volume of subsidy put into it.

In conclusion, I have seen that President Tinubu is all out to fix that problem once and for all but it will be a long battle. Binance has been deactivated and fined. Illegal BDCs are finding it difficult to operate while over a thousand have been deregistered among other decisive steps and going by the number of BDCs Emefiele registered and a lot of economic criminalities known to us all, one won't be surprised at how it fell by 480% between May 29, 2015 and May 29, 2023 despite its non floatation.

#SWA

Sir Sunday Adewale Adeniran

I don't want to be racist like you me poster,so I choose to ignore you

SaiOba:
Just like your MotherLand

N
Also true

faceland:
Don't worry. They would eventually choose another old fool that needs 20 pills a day just to function.

Thank you jor

Blackcat:
WHY IS IT THAT WHEN A MARRIED MAN HAS FEMALE FRIENDS IT IS OKAY BUT WHEN A MARRIED WOMAN HAS MALE FRIENDS ALL HELL LETS LOOSE,

Come to think of it most married men find it difficult keeping their vows, unlike married women who do their best to keep their wedding vows. So why then do people frown at married women keeping male friends

Because women are weak in nature

We're are they sharing the money,make person give me update

EreluRoz:
Enjoy yourself Nne, you've always been real .

Na who go buy me GWagon and Benz tear leather I dy find like this 😆

You no go kill person

I have fallen into the hands of loan shark, I'm deep necked in debt with them and I don't know how I'm coming out, I'm really ashamed of my actions and have lost my peace for a long time, I don't even know how to face my family again because of the shame I have brought on them.
I am already crossing the line.

Hmm so after all you sharp mouth on naira land,all over all comments na just ordinary borrower and beggar na you still me

[quote author=saucecode post=93097230]
He don't even realize dat some classy prostitutes are much smarter and more knowledgeable abt a wide range of topics because they are always hanging around different types of men wit vast experience, unlike the stay at home boring good girls.[/quote
So stay at home girl is not boring, deceny is now boring, wonderful