₦airaland Forum

Goo0dHardDick:
I can bet my balls you didn't read the post.

Lemme summarize it for you.

The boy's dad was locked away in prison in China and his mother went to sleep with another man who got her pregnant. Upon returning to the village they discovered she was pregnant, she went and aborted the pregnancy.

Moral lesson: men should take care of themselves because if anything happens to them their beloved wife will forcked another man and will gladly take in for him

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Just to add, there's also the part where the wife disrespected and disobeyed the husband.

ThinkSmarter:
Yes, especially at the initial stage of the marriage when she's still young.
Only upgrade her when she has birthed up to two kids or more, and then be emotionally ready to face whatever that comes.
Cuz, she may change.
She may start disrespecting your authority and she may start diverting resources to her family.
Except, she is an exceptional good wife, which you should be able to know from the few years you have lived together.
Cuz, few good wives still exist regardless of the high number of bad ones.
And while upgrading your wife, make sure the wealth control is 70:30.
Cuz, anything close to 50:50 will make her to see you as her equal or less.
But, if she's exceptional like I pinpointed.
Cuz, some women are human builders and good in managing wealth.
You can fully empower her and maker her the CEO of your family wealth.
Cuz, deep down wise women knows that the family wealth belongs to their kids, so they get careful in its management.

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Thank you for the response.

ThinkSmarter:
Use love to get sex and after getting the sex, stay emotionally detached.
Else, they will hurt you if you continue to love them like being clingy.
Prioritize yourself, your health, growth and development.
Women hypergamy is real, no matter how rich or handsome you think you are, once someone that is richer of more handsome than you shows up, they will monkey branch.
Most importantly; Learn to fvck so good and get detached after.
They will chase you and seek for your validation...
Don't argue with a woman.
Learn to walk away.
Be selfish, eat good food, buy good clothes for yourself.
Upgrade in all ramifications, cuz if you upgrade a woman, hypergamy will set in and she will despise you and ditch you.
Don't hate women for rejecting you.
Don't treat them bad for rejecting you and don't be nice to them either.
Be neutral.

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When you talk about not upgrading a woman does that apply to someone's wife?

Manny21:
The best thing is for the government to start regulating house agents. Get them registered and make them accountable for dubious and sharp practices. Enact a law that will criminalize fake house agency. But Nigerian lawmakers will prefer to share money doing nothing

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Just like Gerrard59 said regulation will only lead to increase and what need to be done is government should build more houses and inter state railway so that people staying in Ogun, and Oyo state can have easy access to Lagos.

dominique:
Tell that to Baba ijesha. Broke, jobless, ex-convict child molester and he's married to a wealthy designer. His fellow men have said they're the prize, who are we to argue?

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It's crazy how Baba Ijesha got married to a woman and not a man like himself but same women are the ones crying that he later got married. Do you need a bucket to cry harder?

Pukkalolo:
No, it’s not entirely peculiar to women, but it hits much harder and faster with them.

Here’s why:

Women are hypergamous by nature.

Their biology and psychology are wired to constantly evaluate, “Is this man still the best option for me?”

When she hasn’t invested any money or made serious sacrifices, her detachment switch flips very easily the moment a better option appears or the relationship hits tough times.

This is why a lack of financial investment from her is one of the most dangerous things a man can allow in a relationship.

Hypergamy is real.

So if you don’t want a woman to dump you the moment better options show up, it is critical that you demand her effort, sacrifice, and financial investment. That’s what creates emotional glue. It what makes dumping you expensive for her.

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How can I demand ' effort, sacrifice and financial investment?'

OlaOfLagos:
Bro to bro:

There is no shortage of beautiful women, there is a shortage of successful men. You are the prize, not her 🏆

That mindset flips the script from desperation to self-respect. When you focus on building discipline, purpose, and competence, you stop chasing validation and start operating as the prize. Beautiful women are everywhere, but men who lead and provide direction are rare.

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I was just thinking about Gehgeh as I was reading this because he has said it countless times.

Pukkalolo:
The day my first girlfriend left me, I thought my world had ended.

After one small argument, she sent the cold text: “I’m no longer interested.”

Just like that. Relationship over… Ah

I was shattered. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I walked around like a dead man for months.

But do you know what truly destroyed me?

She moved on like I never existed. Like, within days this girl was already posting new guys on her status… smiling, laughing, looking happy and refreshed. While I was there dying in emotional pain.

So I went online to search: “Why do women move on faster than men after a breakup?”

The two answers I found sounded smart:

#1. “She already broke up with you emotionally long before she left you.”

#2. “Women cry freely, talk to friends/family about it, and process their feelings faster.”

I believed that nonsense.

Until life proved it wrong with real experience.

After dealing with more women, I discovered the uncomfortable truth:

She moved on so easily because she never invested anything serious in me.

Especially FINANCIALLY.

Think about it.

If a woman was spending her own money on you… paying for things, investing in your life, giving you financial support…do you think she would bounce back like nothing happened?

Hell No.

She would be in serious pain. She would probably even drag the breakup for months or years, constantly reminding herself, “After all I did for this guy…”

But when she has zero financial investment? She walks away light. Zero losses. Off to the next simp...


Imagine a sinking ship.

The people who panic, fight, cry, and do everything possible to save it are the ones who put their money into it: THE INVESTORS.

The passengers who just bought a ticket? They simply jump into the next available boat with zero sorrow. They lose nothing.

Your relationship is that ship.

If she never invested real money in it… then to her, the relationship is just a cruise. Nice while it lasted. When turbulence comes, she jumps ship easily and boards the next one with fresh excitement.

Be wise brothers…

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Brother may you never die young.

Greattha:
Picture this...someone who is supposedly in charge of food you want to eat comes to you and he's on dirty dreads...long dirty fingernails etc You open your plate of abula to find a housefly in the mix.(multiple times...with different incidences by the way)

You are making me laugh with this. Has this ever happen to you, or you witness someone it happened to?

Greattha:
No...they should look like the Agberos at Oshodi under bridge!

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If you say they look sweaty I can accept that, but unkempt it just something you made up. How do you expect someone who works under the rain and sun to be as fresh as a cashier who is indoor with "beta" AC look the same way.

Greattha:
Skit or not...I can never use these dispatch guys..

They often look very unkempt.

The risk associated with the less than hygiene standard of eating out is enough with videos showing giant rats flexing inside showglass🥱 and people putting all sorts in their food during preparation

If you can't make the journey to get your food, better rest.

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How do you expect them to look, like a bank cashier under AC?

brain54:
Stop arguing blindly without checking the facts...

You can't just quote someone and say I disagree without giving your own facts. Anyone can do that.

And I didn't say the economy wasn't affected... the stress in my comment was on much There are other ways it has affected but negligible effects.

The price of fuel in Ghana is still same with government paying around two cedis or thereabouts which is the supposed increment ( part subsidy) on behalf of the citizens!

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I don't know when English becomes so hard for some people to understand. You really tried for responding to him, because I saw your earlier post he was referring to. There nothing you can prove to him.

SpencerForbes:
Cold approach is best, but your motive matters. I join organizations to network, so when I see a lady, I’m looking for a partner or a solid acquaintance, not just sex. You must train your psyche to spot ladies with potential and stop wasting time on 'random' ones with nothing to offer.

If a high-value lady tries to go sexual and I see it’ll ruin the professional benefits I’m gaining, I scale back immediately. I’ve had a female friend for over 5 years—no sex involved— and she still refers me to opportunities till date.

The truth is, once you date and break up, you might become frenemies, but 'just friends' last forever. Learn to friendzone these ladies the same way they do to us for your own benefits. Just as they have kunle for his money, uche for his sexual prowess etc do the same. Use a little charm if you must, but keep your eyes on the goal.

I keep the ones without potential for sexual benefits, but I keep the "important" ones for business and future references. That has been my major secret to advancing.

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Thank you for advice and your time too, I really appreciate.

SpencerForbes:
In this life, women don help me pass men. [b][/b]Since the days of high school. Even till now I still have lots of female friends and acquaintances than male. For relationship they might have lots of flaws but if you really want a marketer or someone to refer your business even when you’re not there, women are number one.
[[/b][b][/b]b]
The problem is we want to date all of them. Meanwhile Machiavellians are looking for ways to use them to their advantage.

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I find it hard to keep females as my friend without having dating intentions for them, and that's because it's very hard for me to spend my money on them as they believe man should be the provider . With what you stated I believe that's not an issue for you. What can I do to be just like you?

SpencerForbes:
The opposite of prayer isn't a curse; it’s indifference. Just because I choose not to beg doesn't mean I’m harboring ill will. I simply don't believe in constantly offloading my problems onto others, even if that’s what you expect of me. I believe I was created to be a problem-solver—someone who fixes things internally.

We are talking about the same Creator, but while you are focused on the 'ask,' I am focused on the 'thank you.' I’ve reached a point where gratitude is my primary form of communication. I only thank him and move on and I don’t expect any miracles but he still does some and I thank him but I don’t just go asking for favors always.

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Omo! Your level of self reliance is way above my own. I still put God first in whatever I do not thinking he has given me everything needed to go through whatever difficulties. However, I think I'm going to work on expecting the worst outcome while putting my best effort. We learn everyday. Thank you.

SpencerForbes:
There’s no ‘opposite’ unless you’re looking for one or living in premium fear. I keep my life on a need-to-know basis and I’m always planning for the worst. If it goes south, I already saw it coming—I even plan for sudden death. >

A great philosopher said 'Hope is nothing but folly, born of those who cannot see reality.' I don't expect everyone to walk this path; it’s lonely and it’s heavy. To me, hope is just a defense mechanism that blinds people. Abandoning it forces you to actually work to better your life rather than waiting for a savior.

I see prayer as communication, but while the 'hopeful' are waiting for it to come to pass, the realist has already planned for the outcome. It’s not atheism; it’s just that while you’re hoping for a miracle, I’m grateful for the past ones and already strategizing for the next.

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I think you’re not getting my point. If prayer is a game, why not try curse and see what a game really is? People should not just rely on prayer without putting any real effort and thinking everything will turn out fine, I get that and I hope you also understand what I’m trying to say.

SpencerForbes:
In my honest, very honest opinion, it feels more like a game of probability. Sometimes things just click; other times, when you need it most, you’re left wondering why the prayers aren't hitting. Then some 'pastorpreneur' will come and tell you God has 'three answers'—Yes, No, or Wait. If it’s all just a game of chance, why bother praying at all?

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If prayer seems like a game what do you think about the opposite it. I'm sure no one his or her right frame of mind would want to try that. So, whether it's a game or not I still believe in it.

SpencerForbes:
True talk, but it’s a suicide mission because of the kind of 'poison' she has fed her mind. We all know Nairaland is the Headquarters of Anti-Marriage. The moment she brings a tiny family issue here, what do you think the 'online judges' will say?

'DIVORCE HIM!'

Even X (Twitter) is a playground compared to the bitterness on this forum. If she depends on the 'wisdom' she picks up here, the probability of that marriage lasting is lower than 1%. It's a massive red flag!

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Your potential partner become a red flag just because she is a member of Nairaland. If you as a man is a member what kind of flag does that make you?

pansophist:
This is a classical case when indifference is a potent cure. DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

But before you do this, you must be ready to accept whatever outcome, which includes badmouthing you and relational breakdown.

People usually appreciate your good deeds at best, the first three times. After that, it just breed entitlement and laziness.

First they appreciate your givings, then they anticipate for more givings, and if you keep up, it leads to expectations. Then entitlement, and finally, dependence.

So "Appreciation > anticipation > expectation > entitlement > dependence".

After dependence, then it's anger and hatred for not fulfilling what they deem as their "right". It's an emotional reactions, and a trait common with career beggars

It's a sad reality, but you have to accept that this is real life.

Since you're dealing with your mother, then manipulation is surely a tool in her arsenal. But like I said in the first paragraph, indifference is the cure to all these nonsense.

The more you care, the more you suffer. Caring requires responsibility, and indifference free you from responsibilities that bleeds you.

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What can someone do to not fall into the "Dependence" category?

pansophist:
Oya tell me. What will she be doing? Cheating too?

But make sure you copy him when he build a house, buys you a car, and provide for you. Don't copy him only on the bad things, but also on the good things.

This is not to support a cheating man, but to create balance. The strength of an individual is not in doing evil, but in doing good.

On another note, society do not take it lightly on a wife that cheats. So if you or any woman choose such path, be ready for the consequences that awaits you.

A man's shield is in his ability to provide, and a woman's shield is in her ability to be loyal. If a man provide very well for his family, society will be easy on him even if he cheats.

The opposite of a provider man is a loyal woman. The opposite of a cheating man is a materialistic woman.

If a woman cheat, a real man will release himself from marital obligations. No provisions anymore, and send her packing.

If a woman is loyal to her man, society will be easy on her even if she is broke than an almajiri.

A man can easily replace you, than you can replace him. If you think that cheating because your man cheated is justice to yourself, then you picked the wrong fight.

From the beginning of time, men have always have mistresses, and if you're a Christian or Muslim, there is no verse that prohibited polygamy.

I understand modern culture makes you think you're equal to a man, but that same culture will roast if you cross some red line.

Real life is not Instagram.

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My oga!

Gbadugbakun:
You really don't know anything about children. Have you lived with a pre teen to see how rebellious they are, do you think you would find it easy controlling their rebellious attitude once they hit 19 to 21. Following bad gangs coming home late even smoking and drinking. You are not talking from a realistic view. Bring any of your nephews or nieces who's like 15 to live with you for a week and body go tell you.

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Did you forget the part that I said I'm not going to take care of kids that are not mine?

Gbadugbakun:
Everything is wrong with her.

No matter how you want to claim to love a single mother of 2 boys, never you marry her because those boys would beat you up when they grow.

I know a man in my former street who marry a woman with two boys, by the time those boys hit their late teens and early 20s they started beating the man. Sometimes they would injured him, you will see him bleeding.

Just date her and go. Don't marry her for your own good.

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The example you gave is vague; what did the man do? Those children will beat me up just because I got married to their mother. How does that even sound to you. I know I'm not going to take care of kids that are not mine, because they have their father as well, and that'll be something we would have discussed before getting married. I'll tell you this for free, " Beating me up" will be the last thing they would do.

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Simple question: What's wrong with her?

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When they say love is this what they're talking about? Love is not foolish biko! You love with sense. Look at where your mumu love dump you. It's just sad you learned your lesson the hard way.

pansophist:
The poorer a society, the high chances for relationship to be monetized and sexualised.

When people are stucked in the survival level, everything will be sacrificed for an upward economic mobility.

Friendship, relationship, behavior, tolerance, etc will be geared towards climbing out of poverty.

If you know anything about "Abraham Maslow hierarchy of needs", then the people who monetize and sexualise relationship are stuck in the first level.

When a person feels hopeless in their situation (regardless of the degree of consciousness to their tragedy), they usually engage in cheap, impulsive pleasure, which usually involves sex and materialism.

The more develop a person is in essence, the more distant they are to material thrills.

So the cure to the material obsessions in relationships is strictly tied to the material conditions of the parties.

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Baba where have you been? I'm glad seeing your post again.

Gerrard59:
To be honest, I doubt you will follow through with the myriad of suggestions, but for emphasis purposes, I will list mine:

- Work on the anti-spam bot. It's annoying as it bans arbitrarily.
- The UI feature is okay. Nothing needed to change.
- Tackle the mass liking of posts by APC data boys. One post, boom 100 likes within a few hours.
- The length limit of a long quoted post was brilliant. Well done!
- The suggestion of paying creators should be disregarded. You will have people start creating fake news and writing fake stories just so they earn money. This has created a fake news, aka Things That Never Happened syndrome on Twitter. Nairaland is meant to be largely anonymous, so I don't know why people want to earn money while being anonymous.

Lastly, if Mr A creates a thread that's well detailed, that thread should hit the front page rather than Mr B who does the same hours later, but his thread hits the front page simply because he's popular.

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This can't be overemphasized. The painful part is some are not worthy to grace front page.

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If someone had hidden what they know, would they have known it as well? It might not actually be wickedness because you don't know how it feels when you're not in someone else's shoes. This is life bro, where a rule does not apply to everybody the same way.

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Fear of storm, biko!

SpencerForbes:
Not everyone has that kind of spiritual capacity. Even the Bible mentions the difference between "milk" and "solid meat," acknowledging that there is food for beginners and food for the mature.

If the OP has been disconnected for a long time and suddenly starts "chanting fire," his first instinct will likely be guilt, followed by doubt, and he’ll lose steam. This is why having a grounded mentor or partner is vital, though I completely understand the point you're making.

In the spirit realm, if op hasn’t been consistent, then she has an edge and just a small sin could escalate the matter.

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Na why I like people wey I dey follow. Una too Sabi!

brain54:
Military men hit me from behind one time in Jos...


It was in front of a filling station after I filled my tank. Only for them to hit me from behind. I came down to access the damage and nothing happened to my car but their front bumper was damaged and infact had fallen off.


So while they came down and were trying to fix their bumper me I just entered my own car and drove off... afterall they hit me from behind and we're at fault.


I forgot about the incident and some few minutes later I saw them come from behind me trying to cross me with their van and violently pointing their weapons at me and flagging me to stop.


Omo I knew If I stopped I would chop beating first before any explanation even when I was not wrong.


I just made a quick calculation and stepped on my accelerator.


My plan was to drive to the nearest police station and to at least reduce the beating I would chop if at all.

After chasing me for about 15 minutes James Bond style. I managed to loose them.

I managed to get to get to west of mines area parked the car (it was a weekend and those that know that place know how crowded that place usually is with people and cars) I parked in a dark spot and entered one of the bars there and first ordered for big stout to cool my body down before calling my buddy to come and join me.


I [[/b]b][/b]bought beer for him... at least if those military guys come back no be only me for chop the beating they for share am for both of us.


No be only when enjoyment he go dey follow me enjoy... what are friends for.


This happened around 2010!

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Interesting.

Gerrard59:
Lol

Oil workers' wives in the US are largely sit-at-home moms. All those Republican welders who work in the industry have SAHMs as wives. [/b]Yet they are very successful and earn a lot of money.

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Nb: Everything I'll be typing here is learnt from you.


True, but these are rich people you are talking about. Life of a man isn't easy, hence you shouldn't have more than two kids. This is because as a man you have your life to live and enjoy. Now imagine getting married to someone whose life solely depends on you. If you have the money fine, but don't get married to a liability all in the name of "I'm a man". There's a reason why your wife is called your partner.

Gerrard59:
That is untrue. Our men have way more rough looking faces than our women. Is it pot belly that is handsomeness?

Anyway, we get what we deserve. We are meant for each other.

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