₦airaland Forum

Hanseel1:
smh. ..

Bride price should be abolished

The money to build a house should be funded by both spouses. if it's rent then both spouses should pay


If that happens will you still be saying men and women aren't equal?

In a case one party is not capable or loses such capability (maybe lose of job or something) somehow later in the marriage would that imply he or she has to be kicked out the equality footing and no longer should be treated nicely since they cant afford nor deserve it anymore? Is that how places and rights are going to be continually swapped based on who is earning what? Will that not lead to insecurity, unhealthy competition and antagonism between couples? Awesome marital relationships are not built on empirical laws my friend.

ImaIma1:
If a man has to keep emphasizing that he is a man...saying "i am the man...i am the head..." then he needs to check himself.

I cannot faint but calling him lord has never crossed my mind neither has it captured what i feel for him. And we don't even roll like that. Calling him lord will just be awkward and backward

A man does not necessarily go about calling himself lord but usually resorts to that when the wife gives him attitude to suggest the opposite or starts pushing the equality mantra probably because of what she earns not knowing that the man also reserves the right to push her off the equality footing when/if she ever encounters financial problems if respect is based solely on who earns what.

There is nothing awkward about it just like i don't believe its awkward or backward for me to call you "my queen". Make your man feel like your lord as much as you would love him to make you feel like his queen. And if calling him that will help, why hold back? This is why there werent much baby mamas during our forefathers days. The mans place as captain and lord wasn't under much threat or questioning as the women didn't hold back on eulogizing men by calling them elevating names. There is nothing bad and everything to gain by giving your man that extra blown head by calling your man big names. Try it. As e go sweet make or if i call you my queen of queens na so e good sweet the man too. Instead the concentration now is on blowjobs. All blow*job should not be directed down there but up there. Try mental blow*job, it works. ��

ImaIma1:


Calling a man "baby" is not an insult. And who calls her husband "my lord". Is it Lord and personal Saviour?

There is nothing like reinstating manhood or Lordship. A tiger does not proclaim its tigritude

That last part na lie. If a goat does not respect the tiger........ Not an insult until she translates it to her attitude which is often the case. Also will you faint if you call your man "my lord"? But you love him to call you "my queen" abi?- That woman selfishness i talk about.

LivingFree:
Mate! know who you are quoting and who quoted you saying what... I never said any of those things. It's like having a conversation with a mad man! You are mixing me up with ladyhip... something. You have put all our opinions together. Have an amazing day, I'm done trying to chat to you.

Now you want us to go down that slippery road of insults. I bet you wont find it lovely with me down that path. I dont think i have used any derogatory word since just note i dont shy away when challenged. If the facts i espoused is paining your brain or too heavy for it, why not tell me? I bet you are one of those ladies who will question calling her man my lord just because you sabi write Obi is a boy. ��

ImaIma1:
In a lot of cases,both husband and wife contribute to the wedding. They split the expenses.

A man's place as the head is not negotiable; even the Bible states it.

A marriage where the husband always wants to lord over his wife and shut her uo or down everytime is not a healthy one

Of course i agree but a woman has to know that the man is his lord not to start dragging position with the man based on earning this or that. Now women call their men my baby instead of my lord. Overtime and intermittently, the man has to reinstate his "manhood" and lordship as the case may be.

LivingFree:
You make no sense... you move the goal post to suit your argument so you win... I wish you a pleasant day

How? You said love and respect and captainship should be by earning this or that, I said it should not be solely by earning. You insisted . So i gave you what it takes to earn it which men naturally undertake (which they may be successful at or not) and said if you want it based on earning then you should also undertake those functions. Also, how will you feel if while you are at it, your man makes it clear he only respects you based on your ability to successfully achieve those functions? Also what if you lose your ability to cater for even yourself will it be ok then for your husband to no more respect you as he will be feeding you and paying your rents then? *Or should he stop housing and feeding you* Since love and respect must be earned based in your law. Thats why i told you such empirical human laws are not capable of leading to a sustainable human relationship. Now you make me feel bad cuz i don't like when a lady makes me feel like am "oppressing" her into submission. The aim is not for one person to win. Its for us to understand better and so win together.

justtoodark:
you are talking nonesense,its all over the world the same situation....

the traditional marriage thing is breaking down worldwide....

its not even about money sef....

Yeah at the bolded and the result is already all too obvious- leaving baby mamas in its wake. It will continue until seven women will beg a man just to answer his name when they all see the misery of their acute law, belligerent, arrogant, selfish, greedy, contentious orientation. It is written.

LivingFree:
Lol! So I am not exempt until I feed and clothe a grown man? Even if no man has ever fed or clothed me

There's no winning in your logic.

Of course, if you want to earn being a captain then why not be ready to fulfill the obligations involved in earning it while expecting men to fulfil such obligation because men dont wait to be first clothed or fed by women before undertaking such roles. I should even tell you neither should other women who aspire to be captain be told. Just go ahead cuz that's exactly what men undertake to do subconsciously if its by earning it.

LivingFree:
I don't accept bride price and I can fund myself so am I exempt from your rule? Or do I have to fund him (an adult) to be exempt from your rule

Your case is an exception, a remote case just as i said earlier, not the norm as a 1000 to 1 women accept and even demand pride price. And even at that, are you also willing to house, feed and cloth a man as the thousands of men to your 1 ratio do so as to claim / "earn" captainship in the home?

ImaIma1:
I do not use imaginary or remote scenarios. Just plain real life. And my issue is with men using submission as an excuse to bully their wives.
While demanding respect, she needs to be loved and treated right.

Besides, how do i learn from guys here...guys who always label "Nigerian girls" trash and can't see past a lady's boobs or backside.

I asked before how many percentage of women pay groom price, house, feed and cloth the man that makes cases you used not to be remote?. I dont not subscribe to men bullying their wives. Am only saying two captains cant run a ship and captains dont get swapped in marriage. If you doubt, tell a man or even give him attitude that you are now equal as head with him and see how that goes.

chillychill:
Lol most of em don't know what live is all about

Abi. Until men start demanding every woman has to satisfy all the above i listed before to also earn his love and respect they will know what equality means. Since its all about earning this and that and dragging captainship. Love, relationship and marriage is not about earning this and that and dragging captainship, other parameters applies.

Hanseel1:
It should end here so that it won't generate into another thing..

Degenerate to what? We are dealing with facts and issues i dont know what else you want it to degenerate to.

kunleweb:
An autonomous soul is self destructive no doubt, however the law shapes the practitioner to become lawful by nature not requiring observance of the law as maturation builds up.Constant need of the law is for an un-improving soul.

Also, there are concept beyond acute implementation of the law required for a great life which they dont teach lawyers. Such concepts as grace, love, forgiveness are not captured within the limits of laws hence introduced in the second testament for better human experience and societal advancement etc.

Hanseel1:
exactly what I said...

99% of the women who believe they aren't equal to their husbands are women who're heavily dependent on their husbands.

Madam you better step up.

You were born from a pussy, a man is also born from the pussy
stop deceiving yourself...

When it comes to marriage, there cant be two captains in a ship. One must head the other.

Hanseel1:
exactly what I said...

99% of the women who believe they aren't equal to their husbands are women who're heavily dependent on their husbands.

Madam you better step up.

You were born from a pussy, a man is also born from the pussy
stop deceiving yourself...

When it comes to marriage, their cant be two captains in a ship. One must head the other.

chillychill:
Wahala lo Ko ara e si.. When u marry ur own wife Dey do ur tin 50-50 with her. Eyin omo ikoko nl

Madam no mind them . Man senior woman, spend money marry her, house woman, feed her, cloth her etc then she open mouth dey claim equality with me. Infact the converse of what they are saying is the truth. Na men who depend on the woman for any of the above that claim she is equal with them. Their cant be two captains in a ship.

Hanseel1:
from my obversations only women who depend heavily on their husbands argue that they're not equal to their husbands.

I don't understand how a sane woman will say she isn't equal to her husband

Two captains cant run the same ship. The man is the captain and not equal with the wife. The head is placed above the neck for a reason.

kunleweb:
funny, you just told her what i've been trying to tell her all along, Career shapens one's mind to see life from a fixated way. Imagine if everything is reduced to logic and argument, and when there's no precedence, it predicates chaos. All lawyers can't handle anything outside law, they become useless to life as their skill-set is opposite of what life requires for proper functioning.

Relationships are based and thrive more on sentiments and emotions not blind laws and astute obtuse logic. This is why i run from lady lawyers. I know ones career affects their outlook and orientation in other areas of life

Exactly because their are other parameters of life required to make life worthwhile such as forgiveness, love, faith, grace etc these concepts aee beyond law.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Some men hate it and I pray never to encounter such men.Really what humanity the law is blind the symbol of lady justice and no favoritism whatsoever hence the need to argue with logic.I am taking life easy and I am happy.Have a nice day.

Relationships are based and thrive more on sentiments and emotions not blind laws and astute obtuse logic. If you doubt it tell a man who wants to marry you that you will only respect him for whatever and that you can earn being captian. This is why i run from lady lawyers. I know ones career affects their outlook and orientation in other areas of life.

LivingFree:
Prince, you've lost me... I never said any of those things, in fact I said the opposite. It was your fellow man who demanded love and respect for paying the bills. I said I can pay my own bills...

How? You said love and respect must be earned even to the extent of succinctly and subtly advocating that the woman can vigorously purse captainship of the home when she pays the bills.

kunleweb:
It's conditional, the day that man experiences a network failure, i pity such a man. These people have programmed themselves to vacillate and function by the external factors of life and have not conditioned themselves on how to behave first internally,and then make the most out of any situations they find themselves

An this is why many baby mamas abound this day. Every man will go broke or gave financial difficulties somewhere along the line. And if the womans love and respect lies on the mans money then.....

Ladyhippolyta88:
Hahahaha they always know how to use religion to drive their narrative.

Not just religion but discard the Bible to your own peril. Not for my sake for yours . Its the book with instructions for a good life.

LivingFree:
To take responsibility and to advise each other on how to be better husbands never crosses their mind... but how to change and control women is on the top of their agenda

Respect a man without a basis, my stretchmarked ass

If you respect a man just because he pays the bills i sorry for that man if something happens in his life and he cant pay. And i sorry for you if the man finds out that your respect is based only on the fact he pays the bills cuz he will bail before anything happens to him that may affect him paying the bills. From the day he knows, he will only see you as pay as you go not wife. And that is the reason why there are so many baby mamas. Even my brother almost made the wife a baby mama just for this orientation last year.

kunleweb:

The pre-conditioning is from a combative mental posture that encapsulates arrogance, belligerence, contentiousness, needless argumentativeness , insolence and a lot more. They simply can't manage been successful and been of exceptional character at the same time.


All these negative attributes no matter how educated a lady maybe makes her worse than an educated soul, what is education without character refinement?


Cc: Chillychill

Its the bane of the African woman. Thats why i tell guys that they cant be sure of an Africans womans love unless she is richer or more powerful than him. Thats how a man will be housing, feeding and taking care of a woman for a long time only fir her to make it and start claiming right up and down.

kunleweb:
"Respect is earned " The same problem we've been talking about, if respect must be earned, must you marry? Why date or marry when you will withhold respect? Is the home a battle ground where wits and fists are to be used in a game of challenge? You ladies just won't learn the easy way. We await the sad tales in days ahead. If on the flip-side, a man withholds love, financial responsibility and moral responsibility and sleeps around and tell you it must be earned listing conditions will you settle for such an unhealthy situation? Place the same standards on yourself. If respect must be earned, then it's not love, it's a battle ground



Cc: Chillychill

This is whole truth. The Bible never gave preconditions before a man earns respect. As long as man(in this case woman) uses sense differing from Bible they encounter problems. Marriage is not law. Thats why many lawyer ladies have problem in marriage. They bring the logic in their profession into a completely different field. Personally i cant marry a lawyer for that. If earning money and paying bills is the main reason to respect the man then divorce him once you can do all that since you wont have reasons to respect him anymore.

LivingFree:
[b]If you can't respect a man without a basis for it,[/b] remain single, it's not by force to accept proposals.

I must remain single then... no be by force to marry. Wow!

Can you help me understand what a man's inner soul yearns for because most of us believe that most men are controlled by their sexual needs... we didn't even think he had a soul talk less of a yearning one

He just told you the basis of a lasting marriage.

ImaIma1:
What about a case where they both spent equal amount for the marriage ceremony or that the lady even brought most of the money...can she drag rights with him then?

Marriage is not actually about following set principles or living by the book. Both parties need to love and respect each other and find a model that works for them. Upbringing also affects marriage. A man that was brought up in a home where his mum had no say will shut down his wife when she tries to speak.

People need to shine their eye and look at the person they are marrying...if they can work together.

Women should not marry a guy they cannot respect. Men and women are joint heirs and equal in God's eyes but one still has to submit to the other. One is the head and one is the neck. The neck and head never fight for control.

Its also about living by the book even as the bible wrote it. Here we are telling the exact reasons why many men abandon their wifes and so much baby mama and instead of learning whats the men are sayin is or will likely drive them to this thing you are more inclined to running around it. Even with imaginary scenarios which are more of remote exceptions than the norm. No man is interested in right dragging or equalization with wife. That's not what he married for. The neck is below the head and anyday it tries to be equal with it, there will be problem.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Oh really have you not heard of women footing the bills in the house and taking on financial responsibilities or is it because they don't come online to brag?Who paid the brideprice not all families do that and besides some women assist in doing such so your argument is not it.Now what if the woman is older does she not deserve respect as well or is it only associated with a joystick?

How many % of marriages do we have wifes older than husbands, wifes house the man and wife pay (groom) price not the man?. Talk reality.

kunleweb:
It's a sad tale of following complicated and sophisticated routes that only causes problem, pain and trauma and changing when it's too late. Character is better developed through adolescence and adulthood, which is long enough to produce good character, that no sane man can resist, we await their bitter tales as they age in the next few years

Maybe its the way they are raised this day. Little advise for females by their parents for them to be humble and faithful in relationship highest advice from parents is for them to get a handsome rich educated man. They how they learn from friends and social network. So what a girl knows and acts on depends on what friends or social network she lands or finds herself in.

kunleweb:
You just said it all with this comment " Many African ladies interpreted feminism as being belligerent and arrogant to men. Other factors are double dating for money and selfish and greedy attitude of many ladies " It is extreme bad luck to cross paths with many of these kinds of ladies we see frolicking around thesedays

Unfortunately, there are much more like that than not and is evidenced by high baby mama rate. Maybe its the way they are raised this day. Little advise for females by their parents they learn from friends and social network. Mostly after they become baby mamas, they get sense and.....CHANGE.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Same way two heads are better than one.A captain in a ship earns the post and is not given because of the gender he/she came with.

A captain in this case is earned by who paid bride price first and foremost. Then, mostly the man older than the wife so why should that respect for a senior just die because ge married. Also house/rent etc are responsibilities of the man. Hence the captain. Why should a woman be the captain how did they earn it?

Arondizuogu:
Why won't she have equal rights with the husband? Is she not a human being? Didn't she come out of her mother's vagina? Na mouth dem take vomit am?
The problem is you lots don't understand the meaning of feminism. Men and women are born equal unto God and man. Women might not be physically stronger than men per say, but believe me they are all round stronger than men.

It depends on your definition of equal rights. A man did not spend his money, time and energy to marry a lady to come and drag right up and down with him while he is taking responsibility of her upkeep or will gladly do if she can't. Those white ladies who invented feminism etc take responsibilities of expenses right from the dating process, even can house and polish even Africans just to be their wife. Also a ship cant have two captains.