₦airaland Forum

dre11:
^^^
Nice one there



The difference btw ur first poem and this is glaring
Keep the oil burning

Babe2sure:
Lovely piece!
The difference is clear.
Keep it up! Dearie.

dre11:
^^^
Nice one there



The difference btw ur first poem and this is glaring
Keep the oil burning

thanks alot for the encouragement

dre11:
Thanks a bunch

I do hope u did drop something on your thread

yea i did

A COUNTRY
A land richly blessed with the abundance of nature,
a land where milk and honey flow,
a land filled with credible souls.

The rich and the famous are superior and mighty-
they're the mighty Eagle
and the poor are their carcass.

The Eagles soars higher by the day,
flourishing in milk and honey.
Leaving their carcass at the mercy me the vultures.

A land where peace and harmony,
was overtaken by was and bloodshed.
Somewhere, voices are heard;
crying, shouting, weeping, proffering solutions,
wishing to be liberated.

The Eagles
continue soaring higher and higher, growing stronger.
Their carcass are abandoned to their fate in the dung.
They kept talking but not a soul to take the words to the Eagles.

dre11:
in need of freedom


Who can I look up to.
Just that person that can bring me out of my misery.
Going na-ked just because of fashion.
Unclad just because it's fits and looks good to the eyes.
Devalue the culture just because I want to feel among.
Allowing a snail shell to be ripped off just to expose its beneath.
Oh.. ........ Am held captive by fashion.


How can I come out of this state I do find myself.
Put an end to this madness I crave for.
Going back to that vomit I once sown never to go back.
Tormenting my innocence with words.
Words that drops like honey combs from his mouth.
Febble heart I do have.
Oh.. ...... Am in bondage of his words.


How can I get this out of mah bloodstream.
Craving for all what money can buy.
The thrist to be noticed.
Why does my soul long for vain things.
Enslaved to this changing world.
Obeying the ordinance to this changing world even when it's doesn't make sense.
Oh.. ......... Am enslaved to civilization


The harmattan is gone, the rain is here.
The flowers appear all over the vegetation.
I could hear the birds singing, the cricket whispers, the ant moving on a straight line.
The contour, bellows, ridges coming up in their glory.
The dead plants was given a chance to live.
This I couldn't describe with the little vocabulary in me.
Oh.. ........ Am a subjugated to nature


See this lady in red.
A cluster of champhire in the king vineyard.
Ruby was the least stone to describe the beauty that ozz out.
She.. ....... who my eyes finds no spots.
How she did ravish my senses just seeing her glow in glory.
I lost my guards at the sight of her appearance.
Oh.. ........ Am enchanted to her beauty.


I couldn't deny that I was held captive by fashion.
Held in bondage by words.
Enslaved to the world of civilization.
Subjugated by the aura of nature.
Enchanted by the beauty of a woman
But, who can safe me from this madness.
Who is that person coming to rescue me



#a song of freedom

wow this is nice

susrite:
On a dark cool night
souls were kissing the bed and pillow
the stars, alongside the moonlight
made love and bore a faint glow
.

A glow that illuminated the earth.
On a dark cool night
the birds had retired to their nest
whilstling and singing a-light
.

Amidst these activities
of the wonderful creatures,
a mother hen lay on her egg and hatches
The chick revered the beauty
of nature
.

the newly-born gazed at the sky
watching its kings dominating their abode
The poor thing wished so hard to fly
fly high like the kings, brave and bold
.

On a dark cool night
the rays of a new dawn perpetuated the darkness
welcoming the morning light
watching the mother hen flying cross the lawn
,

On a dark cool night
the kings hovered in their abode
singing and hallowing the creator's might
and the thought of the chick arose
.

A day would come when i would fly
not as the mother hen but a bird
perhaps i might just turn to a bird and soar high
to where the the sight of man will never beheld

wow this is wonderful thanks alot.

I must say you did well keep trying dear you'll get there

ayozainy:
Am not a poem expert tho. Reading what you wrote, I think you have a good story to tell. First, you wrote it in form of a prose, which I dont think is right. Secondly, try writing in verses, so it portrays a poem. Thirdly, keep on trying, u will definitely get there.

thanks alot

ikeola6:
Am not an expert but i think you should space your work first. Each line should begin from a new paragraph,then the stanzas should be spaced

i tried doing it but i flopped

Ayozainy Ikeola Laykorn Susrite Babe2sure Dre11 texanomaly valued noble4d pls come and bail me out