₦airaland Forum

He wrote:
“
Why you never marry Na?
Hmmmm how old is she? Why isn’t she
married??
This one he is still single. Maybe he traded
his marriage for wealth via JuJu
They say She was very promiscuous in her
young days o! And see her she is married!!
Where is my own LORRRRRD!!!! WHY ME??!!!
Abeg!
WAKE UP NIGERIANS!
My word!
I think Nigerians are the hardest to convince
that times have changed!
Which is why we are finding it hard to fully
develop as a country? #FACT!
The amount of importance and relevance
attached to marriage in this side of the world
is the main reason for DEPRESSION,
FAILURE, UNFULFILLED LIVES, PRETENSE
AND UNREPORTED SUICIDE! And I’m not
talking about the single folks here!
Don’t get me wrong I am not anti-marriage! I
am very Pro Marriage – for the right reasons!
It’s crazy shocking and alarming that till now
people still succumb to pressure and just
marry the next person they date!
Wooooow!
In my opinion it is better to die single than to
marry and be stuck with the wrong person!
Cos that itself is early death!
First of all parents need to chill!
You have lived your lives, produced and
raised good children… If you did a good job
at it, you should trust your kids enough to
make the right adult decisions at the right
time! Stop the pressure!! Some of you have
forced your kids into abusive relationships
just so that you can save face and Brag that
ahh all my children are married ooo! So
continue bragging when you have to go and
fetch their bodies from a Hospital or even
worse a mortuary!! Yep it’s been happening
in this country. Husbands beating their wives
to death…wives stabbing or shooting their
husbands.
Thank God for the kind of parents and Family
I have o.
Then society needs to shut the hell up!
MIND YOUR DARN BUSINESS AND FOCUS
ON YOUR OWN LIVES!
The truth is…people that are happily married
and busy raising a family have absolutely no
time to bother about who is single, why they
are single, who is married and staying
married.
Most embarrassingly a married person
getting involved in gossip about singles. Kai!!!
Signs of a failing/unhappy marriage include-
serious levels of Aproko! Hahaha
On a more serious note my opinion is this…
expecting everyone to get and stay married
is like expecting everyone to be Rich and
famous! IT WONT HAPPEN!
The earlier we accept the better for us!
Most people do not listen to their spirits and
or seek God deeply. They just fling
themselves into unions just so they can be
‘MARRIED’.
Times have changed!
People are not staying married! Men are
getting more and more irresponsible, women
are getting more successful and intolerant of
men’s childish behaviors and oh they are also
bold enough to explore extra-marital affairs
now.
It’s crazy how me, a bachelor, would go out
to a club and at 2/3am I’m tired and I want to
go home and the married dudes are saying…
where u de go Na? Party never finish!!
*straight face**
REALLY!! Who is cuddling your wife at this
ungodly hour? Why is she sleeping alone for
Goodness sake!
Even worse is when a married person says…
Uti introduce me to one small fine girl Na .i
de de lonely sometimes ….
OH WOW!!!
Very irresponsible but HEAVY STATEMENT.
Married and Lonely?? Hmmmmm
Let’s not forget that thanks to social media
some equally lonely and bored housewives
are snagging young fit men daily!!!! I mean
the rate is alarming!
In some marriages the husbands are
constantly cheating as well as the wives??!
So wait, why marry?!!!! Why??
And trust religious Fanatics to say God said a
man shall leave his house and find a wife…
etc. etc.
Really. DID God say a man MUST Marry?!
Is there a commandment that says THALL
SHALT MARRY!
Yes Jesus said if you cannot hold yourself
from fornicating then marry! But ALAS THERE
is a commandment that clearly states: THOU
SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY!!!
So let’s not always pull out scriptures to
support our bias.
If we do that one we go bible mortal combat.
Lol
I dare say this!!…NOT EVERYONE IS
SUPPOSED TO MARRY!!!!!
I don’t think people know what marriage
vows are o!!! People are really take God for
granted!!!!
Let’s analyze it:
FORSAKING ALL OTHERS .
TO BE FAITHFUL LOYAL and HONEST.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD (Meaning no more
bikini babes. No more 6pack boys…no more
random hookups! NO LIES!!!!You shall touch
and sleep with only one person for the rest of
your LIFE! Hmm is okay. Lol)
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH!! (No matter
how sick your spouse gets. Even if worms are
coming out of their body and they smell bad!
You have to be there for them!!!!)
FOR BETTER OR WORSE! (No matter how bad
things get! Even if Una quarrel and burn
down the house! You stay!!)
FOR RICHER OR POORER!!! ( hehehe I won’t
even touch this before some babes will say
I’m swearing for them to marry a poor man…
lol…but if he does get poor you stay)
And the one that freaks me out…. TILL
DEATH DO US PART! ( meaning that the only
thing that should separate you people is
death!)
And you take this Vows / covenant before
JEHOVAH
Well as for me I fear God too too much!!! We
take Gods mercies for granted. Trust me if it
was to swear JUJU most Nigerians will be too
afraid to make these vows!!! But let me warn
you. It’s worse to break a vow made before
God o!!!! You are basically saying God deal
with us if we don’t do this.
I watched my mother fulfill her Vows till my
father died and I’m sure most us also
watched and are still watching our parents
fulfill their vows!
But what’s happening to us in this
generation?
Please please please stop getting married
because:
You are getting too old – We have a lot of
12 year olds walking around in the bodies of
30year olds! Maturity isn’t by age! It’s by the
spirit! A lot of people are not spiritually
mature enough!
You want to have kids! – My people if you
can’t find someone and you want a child and
you feel biological clock dey tick, either you
adopt or do IVF/surrogacy!
Your Friends are married! – Lol. This is a
big laugh … A lot of them are not HAPPY! But
they will put on a show to make u feel they
have one over you!
You want to cover up your sexuality –
Society has pushed people into hiding so
marriage is now a way to prove straightness.
..But that’s another article on the way
Money – You can have the whole world and
still feel empty!
Your Pastor said… – Lol Is okay. I hope your
pastor will repair and stay with both of you
Pressure from family and society – Na you
go stay inside the marriage and wade the
deep waters…Nobody will come and help
you through the turbulent times! Marriage
isn’t a bed of roses. It’s constant Hard work!
For me MARRIAGE like education is an
INSTITUTION and not an OBLIGATION!
And life has shown us that neither has
necessarily berthed success! Not all rich
people are educated and vice versa.
Yes you need to be married to get certain
appointments and positions etc. well if that’s
the value you place on it. Then good luck to
you. Everyman with him own. But leave
others out of it!
In conclusion: Marriage to me should be a
step taken when you meet someone and you
just feel inside that this person understands
you! They complete you! They get you! They
calm your emotional storms! They lead you
forward spiritually! When you combine to do
anything, it’s always easier and mostly
successful! That even when you fight, you
can’t go for long without talking! Someone
that’s patient with you! Someone that doesn’t
need anything materialistic from you to
make them happy! You know you are ready
when no matter how many hotties u see,
even though you look and applaud, the
thought of your spouse makes them look
plain and unexciting! Someone that makes
you want to rush home every day after work!
Someone you can just sit and talk about
ANYTHING WITH. Someone you can gossip
and laugh constantly with! Someone who
inadvertently brings out all your good sides!
A TEAM MATE! A CONFIDANT! A COMRADE! A
SOLDIER & FINALLY SOMEONE WHO FEELS
LIKE THE HOLY SPIRITS VERSION OF A
PARTNER.
I personally would not walk down the aisle
until I court someone who makes me feel
this way.
The favour attached to marriage is
immeasurable – HE WHO FINDS A WIFE
FINDS A GOOD THING! GOD ALWAYS
BLESSES AND FAVORS MARRIAGES!
Shout out to all the unpretentious married
people brave enough to fulfill their vows and
are living out their marital dreams. It isn’t
easy and I applaud you. God has blessed you
I’m not married, I’ve never been so I am not
speaking from experience. Plus I’m not
saying my opinions must be accepted.
I’m talking from a reasonable open minded
point of view of a man who interacts with
people on a daily basis. So this is just my
take on the issue, with regards to singles.
May God above reveal to us who He has
chosen to spend the rest of our lives with and
may He shower the unions with Love peace
health wealth loyalty and happiness.
Amen/Amin
And remember …It always Begins with a
Choice.

Ofo soup with assorted beef meat

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I stumbled upon how marriage was viewed in 17th century
France (which wasn’t very different from how the
rest of the world viewed it). Back then the whole
point of marriage was for functionality. Of
course in Africa polygamy was still the order of
the day considering the Missionaries had not
come to convince us otherwise. Needless to say,
marriage then was primarily about functionality.
For men it was permissible to keep concubines,
and as for women…well women have always
been sexually and emotionally restricted. But the
point is that people married for reasons like
expanding family wealth, strengthening tribal
ties, and other such ideas. Today, no one would
admit that the wealth present in their spouse’s
life of family plays even the slightest role in our
decision to marry them. In fact, it is seen as
‘uncool’ to say you want to marry someone for
any reason besides being absolutely in love with
them. We are supposed to deny all functional
advantage of the arrangement so as not to come
off as gold diggers or luxury seekers.
Unfortunately no one has ever paid a bill with
love, and even more unfortunately, love is not
the drug we think it is. Ask any married person
and they will tell you, the high doesn’t last
forever. Instead it is cyclical in nature. It rises
and dips like an oscillation graph (see Google or
your secondary school physics textbook). When
it is at the high point (we’ve all been there), all is
rosy like paradise found its way to earth, and
then it dips are like a cold gust of wind a strange
reality dawns of you that no human can ever fill
that void of existential loneliness (forgive my big
grammar, I didn’t know what other phrase to
use). At this point the functionality of the
relationship will be put to test. This is where
someone will tell you something like ‘I know you
love me, but love won’t put our children through
school’. You get the picture.
Regardless of how much we try to deny it in the
name of political correctness or whatever term
you choose to use, there is a functional part of
relationship that cannot be filled with love and
we have to start facing up to this. Yes,
companionship is important. It is good to have
shared interests and ideas as they make for
wonderful conversation, but denying a need to
be functional in the name of love is just setting
yourself up for something bad. Though gender
roles might be blurring as we progress as a
culture, they roles still exist even if they aren’t
gender specific anymore. Take cooking for
example: a woman’s place might no longer be in
the kitchen, but someone has to cook because
the family isn’t gonna survive on solar energy. A
man’s role might have moved on from provider,
but until manna starts falling from heaven again,
somebody has to put food on the table.
You will be shocked to see the amount of people
going into marriages without the slightest clue to
how they will get through the most functional
tasks of living, only to get into domestic wars
later over whose turn it is to wash the dishes.
The fact that co-habitation is still very much
frowned upon before marriage also rules out the
opportunity to simulate what living with
someone would feel like. Sometimes it’s all
perfect from a distance and then people move in
together and all hell breaks loose.
In this age of extreme romanticism it has never
been more important to step back and look at
the more functional parts of our relationship
before we commit to something we cannot
sustain.
So next time you find yourself love stoned over a
girl/guy, ask yourself: If I actually wasn’t in love
with this person, would I be able to live with
them. If the answer is no…well…the answer is
no.
P.S Love is never enough.
Credits:www.willifmoore.com

Nice one.I will pm @op to add me up.

She couldn't have done it with a clear head..There's more to this story.