₦airaland Forum

MiddleSpot:
Scare..... Insecurity.



Always monitor and confront what motivates your behavior each time you want to act that way. By telling yourself the motivation of my behavior is the fear of this person not that that person has done anything,you can begin to be more lenient.


Remember Paul said something about capturing every thought that exalts itself above/against God. This is capturing your very thoughts that motivates and produces action in you

Mmmm. Deep thought.
Thank you

Acidosis:
You only see this as a problem because you live in one of world's most extroverted countries. You are in a country where people believe they have the right to your greeting. You are not responsible for another man's insatiable greed to your greetings. What the future holds depends on how much effort you make to feed your ego, not another man's ego.

Lol. Thank you.
I like you already

UyaiIncomparabl:
Same here. Mustn't even be my boyfriend.

I will always be like 'come, make we pass the other street, I no wan greet that man' or 'no look that man side, I no wan greet am' or 'face front, no greet am joor'! Very crazy but true.

Lol. That's my everyday work oo.
Looking sideways cos I don't want to see people I might know, or taking longer path to avoid meeting people.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Oh yea. That's a trait of a loner. You do not feel pain/grief for a long time. The only reason i'll love for you to be more outgoing is because of the future connections you might have with people, especially business. You won't sell and make prospective clients if you keep being detached.

My dear.
Truth is this, my background too has made me a bit confident in myself and less dependent on people.

But then, I really do not know what tomorrow holds.
Hope you are trying to curtail yours?

Acidosis:
There are no medals for greeting people. You are absolutely normal. You can have 1000 friends and 5000 WhatsApp contacts and be useless in life. You can have few and still achieve your purpose on earth.

You're not on earth to associate with everyone you meet. Jesus Christ met a lot, had only 12 loyalists, 3 close associates, and he achieved his purpose.

Bottom line is that know why you are here. Understand your purpose in life and work in that direction.

Thank you.
Even without having much friends, I've succeeded in my endeavours, that's also why I think I really don't need much friends but then, I'm still scared of what the future holds cos I really have long way to go.

MiddleSpot:
Stop living for your thoughts. Your fears and insecurities are hindering you from forming meaningful relations with people. Start online, make friends outside your familiar zone.


Begin the change you want offline online.


Start engaging in practical meaningful discussions engaging new persons staying away from old friends if possible.

Yeah. True, I always want my bf to behave like me by avoiding people too.

MiddleSpot:
Teachings of the soul. Mastering the soul. Google will help. As a Christian, I follow the Christianity way, and for this l only found two persons who wrote on this one is Watchman Née. Go find his book The Spiritual man

I really need any Christian book that can help me.

MiddleSpot:
I can bet you've suspected me twice already

Lool.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Yea. Communication is often a problem for an introvert. In public places/gatherings, when I sit with people and they discuss, I just remain silent all through listening and listening and they wonder why I don't chip in to their discussions. Some think I'm dumb or totally clueless/unintelligent to join in the discourse, but to me, I find it a problem to talk or start talking over petty/trivial issues that don't concern me. People usually think I'm snobbish, cold or being proud but they're just totally wrong.

Exactly.

Lol, I remembered when I was in school, nobody knew me till 300level when the result was pasted and I was second best in GP.
That was how I got noticed in dept.
I had only one friend in school till I left

MiddleSpot:
Told ya, it forces you to see things before they happen. You have an escape plan hatched for everything. James bond

Lol. Funny but true.
That's what have been going through my mind since this year.

Lol

MiddleSpot:
Also, or rather most important stop talking to yourself. The voices in your head is leading yku6a wrong path. Subtle mental unfitness


Start giving people the benefit of a doubt.





Please study conflict avoidant behavior as its deeply rooted in this

I Will, surely.

Thank you so much.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Phew. I know how you feel. The truth is, you can't totally leave that shell, but you can be a little more outgoing. I really don't have any corrective measures to prescribe for you because I'm exactly like you.

Nne, I pray things get better.
I do go out with my day 1s friends, but in a very long time.
Say, once in 4-6 months.

Worst is that, ive started strategizing on how to avoid people when I go to camp.
Lol

UyaiIncomparabl:
Your last paragraph summarizes it all. I'm worried about the same thing too. I can't even sustain new relationships because I feel I don't need anybody. I just drift off..

I think you need a therapist abi na psychiatrist. I even need it more.

God help us.
Even where I'm working now, the Manager has called me severally on this communication issue, I gave him my own reply and it wasn't even looking like I heeded to his advise cos I will be leaving there soon.

MiddleSpot:
Enforced isolation and detachment. Notice you say they would want to get connected. I. E. They would want to ask you for things and you want to be connected with people but without them hanging their issues on you. Change how you see people. I already tell you, that people carry blessings and it's you who needs them. Or give people the benefit of a doubt that Afterall they haven't hurt you yet. Insecurities and fear of the unknown makes this a more complex social issue

Thanks, I will be putting this into practise.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I don't think you know what being an introvert entails. For an introvert, publicly expressing him/herself is draining, and will find every possible means not to relate with the public if chances present it/themselves.

Thank you.
I avoid every chance of talking to/with people.
There's this neighbour that started coming close to me, trying to gist with me and all, I still find it irritating.

I just don't like talking to people, I really wish to stop but it's getting serious.

Ishilove:
Will greeting kill you? You are not the only introvert in the world so you don't have any excuses for not greeting. Being courteous does not automatically mean you're friends with them. It just shows you're a well adjusted human being.

Greeting people has a way of connecting you with them or making them become friends with You, cos, they will always get to talk to you when greeting starts coming.
That's what I try to avoid.

Martin0:
be like say you dey get trust issues?

I mean, even for old people.
This scary and it's becoming worse everyday.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You're very normal. I'm like that too.
I even hate seeing people around me or want to visit me because I feel they disturb my peace and it annoys me a lot.

I can even pretend not to see someone so I don't greet that person. I think I have mental issues.
Anyone who comes to oppose my point will be thrown into the fiery furnace.

Lol. Exactly how I behave.
Sometimes I might feel bored, but I still don't want people or friends around.

I'm the type that's loved by friends, but I see it as a disturbance.
When I was in school, I lived in 3 different hostels, I only got to talk to 4 people in total and it was during my 500level period.

Mines that I'm worried cos of the future, my in-laws, co workers and all.
Is that how I'm gonna distance myself from people?? Won't it affect my life and communication level in a team wprk oriented environment?

iTearHerToto:
Get a kind guy to Fvck enough courage inside you. I repeat a kind guy

Shut up.

MiddleSpot:
You're introverted. Caused by hurt, disappointment, lack of trust in people. Bad memories from the past or a strong mistrust for people is the underlying cause of the problem.

Definitely one of the above.
But then, even when I was little, I still had those characters.

It's too bad that people don't even know that I'm a daughter to a popular man in our society. Cos i avoid going out with my dad/mum so that i wont get to meet people or greet them.

spyg1:
If you're doing as you said and they no born you well, you're ugly. Forget it in life.






My best advice: Join a society in the Church or find an outgoing person and attach yourself to HIM/her

Lol. Attention isn't my problem cos I get loads of it each time I step out.
I just find it difficult to relate with people.
I belong to a church society and I was still doing that.
I Sometimes, stopped going cos it was energy demanding. Talkng and greeting people.

Henry22:
If u continue with such an irritating lifestyle then tell me how you will make it in life and the worst part is that ur even a female......

Stop, this is not an advise sir.

MiddleSpot:
Are you born in August or September?



Are you from the South South?

Nope.

Henry22:
Are u an introvert.......?

Yes, I only talk to people I know and conversant with.

Goodmorning all.
Please, I have this character of avoiding people in real life. I avoid talking to people or even greeting people.
I'd prefer taking a longer path than meeting someone I know through a route that's closer to where I'm headed.
Last two week, I changed route from my normal routine path of reaching the destination of where I work cos, someone said I always pass him without greeting
I'm kind of worried cos it might affect me in the future.
I'd stay indoor and pretend to be sick rather than see a visitor at home.
How do I stop this? Thank you.

Lol.

devilsgrave:
can't stop laughing so you want rules now when you just insulted someone's mother slowpoke

ok.

devilsgrave:
this mor.on again... is he talking to you and why did you drag his mother into this... forming superwoman on nairaland fuckin.g douchebag

mynd44 lalasticlala rule 2.

dude, go and make a living for yourself.

MariaLavina:
I will be traveling to her place today. I want to see her and dad too. I miss them .


How are you today? At home right?

oh!! extend my greetings to them.

yeah, home for now.

You?

93Miles:
Don't start what you can't finish with me.


My post refers to "girls" and not women.

Our mothers weren't dummy like girls of this generation.

I shoudnt start what?

I pray you get consumed by hating on women.
and if you are making that your baseless stats, please, do well to include your mother, sisters, cousins and nieces.
thank you Mr dummy.

MariaLavina:
Everything is fine. I was busy yesterday, work, travels etc. When I got home I went to bed straight.

aawww!!
You finally.sent those clothes to mum, yeah?