₦airaland Forum

IamPlato:
YOU wont Understand Until You Have Your Own baby

IamPlato:
haaa! Maka why.

CaptainMitch:

UyaiIncomparabl:

mikejj:
chain. Queen u need to start learning... You are a woman and it's your natural responsibility to know how to care of babies..

mikejj:
just sing for the baby ..wat will Jesus do here.. lol

generationz:
how old are you?

With age , time and exposure your shyness will reduce.

Apart from greetings do these people ask questions about your personal life which you don't want to reveal?

I do this too. I avoid routes where I know people who love small talk and like asking stupid personal questions. They ask not because they like me but because they want to know how far you have gone in life to gossip about and compare with their kids.
Even my facial expression when passing their shops makes them know they shouldn't ask me anything stupid other than "Good morning "

However you must know that while there's absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert you might find yourself in situations where you will have to overcome shyness to succeed
Eg if you are a business woman or you work in an industry where you meet people daily and your social intelligence is required.

I'll advice you to start reading books on charisma .
Never eat alone is one. You can look for the free PDF on google

There are tons of videos on YouTube that you can watch.

They will teach you confidence, how to make eye contact etc.

Make sure you practice what you read or else its not worth it at the end of the day

Tayor23:
I was exactly like you before but everything changed when I started going to the gym...You can try it cos it works for me.

Dolphin01:
Good evening the Lady with a good heart.
We are designed to be social beings. Though we have exceptions. And as a human being here on earth you can't do without your fellow humans.
In dealing with people, you will come across the good ,the bad and the ugly. While for relationship aspect ,kissing of frogs before meeting one's prince charming/adorable queen is a normal thing.
But will this stop one from associating with his fellow humans? No of course.
There is always a principle behind every thing/system that works .This also applies to us as human beings
One of the Principles of Social Interaction is Love. Why do I say so,people must hurt you. Your family members are not exempted. But with love in place,you will overlook the hurts.
Another Principle is Being Friendly. That is having a likeable personality.
In this your case,how can you overcome this challenge? After all,every challenge is meant to be overcome.
If you attend a church, why not join a service unit,for example the ushering unit. This is an area where you can develop your interpersonal skill. Remember what I said earlier on. You must be hurt,but your principle of love will make you over look hurts.
If you are a professional, you can be active in your professional association. This will greatly increase your interpersonal skills.
Remember the Principle of being Friendly,with that principle imbibed ,saying hello to folks in your neighborhood and visitors to your house won't be an issue.
That you greet someone hi doesn't mean you guys are friends, but is an attribute of a person with friendly personality.
You are a lady with a good heart,so show it to the world.

MiddleSpot:
Flatter her too much and she may cave in. People in this spot most terms don't want to be called by their good attributes. If you know, you know

CastingCrowns:
u are an introvert... there are lots of people like u out there.. I used to be like this but improved myself now

GHoJes:
It is sure going to affect you sooner or later as you fear but the good thing is that you want to be better. Its an introverted way worsened by an enforced isolated or restricted growing up or background. The issue is not greeting as someone up there was encouraging to continue but that you avoid people who you may in the future need their help or they may need yours which definitely will cause problem. I call the hiding, ostrich approach cos the bird buries its head in sand to hide from problem forgetting the big body is in the open. The moment you start avoiding being noticed you get noticed faster cos you are the one who didnt do what others did. I tell you with certainty, more people than you know has noticed you.

The problem is that if you can comfortably do without people, some people need some things you have therefore will become problem .As for 'hernis' if not now that comfort zone may crash some day. A major disadvantage with the attitude is that you bereft yourself from some growth, information, warmth etc you could have gotten from people.Trust me, you could have gone higher than second best position in 300l but for the attitude.

Way forward is to get close to a good friend who is sociable and learn how to relate cos you want to improve but you dont know how. Take it from me, you will meet people who really want to associate with you not necessarily closely just to express their like for you and the only way they express it is by greeting if you dont return the warmth you will become an enemy.

Gaspardd:
Stop taking things so hard, all normal guys do that. Your guy does that too if he is normal.

AntiMCU:
It's a short term at-the-moment cure!

PuZZyNegro:
I have the same personality. I lived in school hostels during my university days but cannot tell the names of my roommates.

I was forced to relate with my roommates in year 1 and the result afterwards made me cherish my isolation lifestyle and I carried that on until I graduated. Even when I went to off campus in my final year, same thing.

Where I am living presently, outside the landlord and his wife and my immediate neighbors (elderly people), I don't greet or talk to anyone.

About the fear of how to cope in a team working environment, that might be an issue because people will hate you for keeping to yourself at work which can lead to your co-workers conspiring against you which may eventually lead to your sack (I'm not wishing you bad, just typing from experience).

The first teaching job I took pre-NYSC, the teachers conspired against me with several allegations ranging from inability to control the class, to the students not understanding me,etc. I was sacked after the first term.

Guess what? I am doing very well today as a Freelancer that I can employ the principal of that school and pay him.


My opinion - it's a behavioral disorder. Sadly you may not be able to come out of it completely as your happiness will be jeopardize if you force it.

My suggestion - find a job that does not require physical contact with people.

generationz:
look at now


You are chatting with uya and talking about personal stuff

Its all about finding people you relate well enough with ? Then the conversations flood in

henmaris:
My dear, I am exactly like u, and now that I'm married, I sometimes have issues with hubby because he is a peoples person. We'll get invited and I will not want to go because I don't want to meet anybody. When hubby even succeed in convincing me to come along, I want us to return almost as soon as we get there. Worst part is I'll exchange no with people because they ask but when they are calling me, I feel like they are irritating, sometimes I don't pick and I never call back. At work, I am just in my room. I don't go to the staff room at lunch because I don't want to meet people. I can go on and on but what I know is that to me, I need my space every time. My only interesting person whom I don't get bored chatting with is my husband. It's not the best way of life but interestingly I'm enjoying my life this way. Maybe it's just our own way of life. Atleast we are not hurting anyone are we?
Don't worry my dear, if u can change then fine but if u cant, no worries, U are good the way you are. We are all unique.

truthsayer009:
I suspect this group of people you are Ignoring are Yo-luba people, not to be tribalistic but these set of people always want greetings.
Once you pass by them & you don't greet, you will hear " Efe ki wa ni" -- Very disgusting attitude.

Please there is nothing wrong with you, those people you don't greet are not feeding you, they can all get lost.

AntiMCU:
Me too and it's giving me headaches.
Planning to resort to alcohol as a cure...

merahki:

This really made me laugh
Try this tests online (at least for fun) what type of introvert am I?
There is a spectrum of this
Then Meyer Briggs’ personality test
Know your type, it will help
If you are happy with your life, why change it?
Extroverts get recharged by being around other people, while introverts’ energies get drained by socialising
Introverts get fuelled by aloneness and extroverts get drained by it
So are you sure you want to change? Can you even change this?
Introversion(normalcy) is different from depression or social anxiety, a type of neurosis(a disease/disorder) oo. When one is not comfortable with their make up, it might be time to consider an underlying mental/psychological issue?
Cheers

truthsayer009:
Hmmm honestly if you're a very beautiful lady. People, especially Guys will find you out. if you like write do not disturb on your Forehead in Camp, you must leave camp with about 2 to 3 Boyfriends unfailingly. One main & two other Attachments.

MiddleSpot:
K. Remember the title


Talk your way to an intimate marriage

MiddleSpot:
Google it. Any store willing to ship to Nigeria will sell. Easy beezy.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Wow. Lucky you then!

For myself, I just keep going back and forth, that is acting irredeemable. May God hep us all.

MiddleSpot:
Smh. Find Donald Harvey his books addresses your concerns it's the ministry God gave him. Forget about finding his books in Nigeria though. You've got to buy them online
. His information is golden. You will not forget this day if you read his books. Oh, he's a psychiatrist