₦airaland Forum

overdrive:
Please how did this case end.i want to know the outcome.

hmmm... I did.
It was crazy.
Most of the analysis people made here turned out right.

Long and short, interesting but wasn't worth it.

I will find a day to write out the full gist

004gist:
You know little about struggling outside Nigeria.

What am trying to say here is that abroad is not a quick rich thing.
Its like a plant seed. U plant it and it die and germinate.

So if u are doing well in Nigeria then keep it up dont sell ur investment or close down business but if not then japa out but again if u make 500k upwards or even 400k upwards then relax unless its via


1) work visa, e.g a nurse or engineer in Nigeria get work visa abroad. Fine
2) PR


Or can u tell burna boy or Davido to leave music and japa to UK or even ade of Lagos or sabinus? which kind shift him wan work pack the money he is making in Nigeria.

The guy here is don't sound as a struggling guy... Je said his side hustle gave him fund to build a house for tenant or buy land in city. Lets say for example This should be between 40 to 60m.. Why not expand the business that gives u that?

You raised salient points here.

Let me address some of them.

If you add up my avg monthly income from 9-5, business and investment, it's way above what you quoted, possibly more than double.
See 400k in a major city is not major bro, especially for a one with a family. How much is rent? How much is daily commute, school fees et al.
It looks good on paper but not so much in reality.
Also, I have friends who were possibly two times wealthier than me who sold all and still left and to be honest, none of them is regretting,

On expanding business, unless you are into FMCG and some certain fields expanding your business or growth is not completely in your hands. So many factors that are down to luck/favor. Our environment is not so structured business wise as you think. Someone can call you tomorrow to offer you a mind buggling project and at the same time, you can have long spells without anything. That uncertainty unsettles me.


Also, part of the reason why the Japa is attractive is psychological, I am a bit tired of the topsy turvy situation in Nigeira. For instance, in dollar terms, I am not as comfortable as I was 4 years ago and 8 years ago, I was even doing better dollar wise than four years ago.
Who knows what the nexr four years hold in stock.
I remember about 10 years ago, in the era of 150 to dollar, my girlfriend who just moved to the US was having financially strains and I was helping out once in a while with rent for her shared room at N40k per month and it didn't stress me too much. DO you think I can even pay the equivalent of that today.

Henix:
Japa through academic route, but not UK

Can you clarify why you are opposed to the UK? Thanks

nwosunnanenye:
Brotherly advice, I would say you should japa since you still have lot of work on your desk. Japa through academic route is the best bet for you bro, it will pave lots of way if you know what you are doing. Then give your self max 3 years then you can think of buying a bigger land and putting out a mad structural edifice on it, marriage can come in later so that when the time comes you can beat your chest that you can wave any billing that comes your way. Cheers man

Thanks for your advice. Makes sense.

Marriage can come in later how na? Bro, I am about 40

bassdow:
why not put that money in Mutual Funds account make e dey born pikin for you pending when you got the slightest idea on how best to invest it.

Bro!
Do you think the money is sitting idle at present?

The returns I get from investing the dough is almost equivalent to my salary, meaning I can live comfortably on my interest alone.

The issue however, is that in the long run inflation eventually catches up with your capital. I am looking for a way to beat or at least track inflation.

No passive investment will ever outrun inflation rate

inoki247:
Lol whatever makes you happy....


Japa no be like back in the days oh...

WHat's the difference

LegacyB:
Am happy people are getting wiser on this Japa thing. And before you say stories, I do have a job good abroad. Please build a house as several people already advised.

Seems you are not disposed to Japa? WHy?

Manny21:
One thing I know is that one is more certain than the other. It also depends on where japa will land you. Do thorough research before you make this decision. A lot of factors are involved.

UK is the target, unless I get better (less expensive) offers from other European countries where I won't need to burn thru my savings

CLRF:
A small house is better for you than the others to get you out of the meeting.

Please remove rental from your plan, use the money for business instead or invest in money market.

After upgrading the R&P i got last year into R&P Self contain, I still blame myself for doing it. The ROI is quite far from realisation.

I don't understand this your post, which meeting ? Which rental are you saying I should remove ?

sommerfeltservi:
Build a house please., and you will thank me later quote author=questioner post=136606952]
To give added context.
I am single, hoping to get married next year
Past my mid 30s.


The plan I had last year was a long term lease for a guest house, which didn't go thru after so many leg work. Even though the agents are showing me other offers, I decided I do not want to go that line again - it's a lucrative business though.

I am tired of my present location and I do not think I want to continue my regular 9-5 the way it is right now for much longer.


Note, I am not in Lagos presently, so don't imagine I have crazy money for me to be talking about real estate

Can you elaborate?
Why do you say the house option is better than the other 2

To give added context.
I am single, hoping to get married next year
Past my mid 30s.


The plan I had last year was a long term lease for a guest house, which didn't go thru after so many leg work. Even though the agents are showing me other offers, I decided I do not want to go that line again - it's a lucrative business though.

I am tired of my present location and I do not think I want to continue my regular 9-5 the way it is right now for much longer.


Note, I am not in Lagos presently, so don't imagine I have crazy money for me to be talking about real estate

I did a business about 2 years ago outside of my 9 -5 and got reimbursed a pretty sum.

I had a plan that I started working on late last year, hoping it will materialize by mid this year but it fell through.
This week I just decided I wasn't going that line again.

I need to chart a new course by max early 2026

What's been running through my head now is
1. Japa - Leave thru the Acad route and when done, see what's next
2. Land - Buy in a good location and possibly 2 (or multiple) plots
3. House - Buy a small piece in a modest location and build 2 units of small apartment, one for rent, one for personal usage


Just decided to put this out there anonymously - If you were in my shoes which option will you choose, which will you definitely avoid and importantly why ?

gofigurena:
This is somewhat both a cry and a story but I won't make it long. I got born again when I was fourteen years old. I hadn't had sex then. So, I set out to be really close to God and determined to keep His word to the latter, which also meant I intentionally refused to have sex until I was married. All through those years, I have had no reason to suspect I might have trouble sexually. I get erections watching stuff on TV like the human being that I am, I like girls (meaning I'm not gay, not even close). I mean, I used to joke to myself that my dick gets hard when the wind blows . Wham, I'm 35, never been married and still a virgin. And now, the pressure is building, not really to satisfy a sexual urge, but I'm getting this vibe around me like I'm not normal. No one has ever seen a woman come to visit me. I've never had an actual girlfriend. Long story short, I just decided to at least have a sexual experience and get it over with. I mean, I just had to lose my virginity, experience sex even if it's just once and then resume waiting until I'm married. Alas, I'm afraid my protracted abstinence may have had a psychological effect on me (this is the part where I'll be happy to hear your opinion). I actually felt intense fear when the girl was coming over but it quickly passed. She was very very beautiful but I couldn't get it up no matter what she tried. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I've been very depressed since yesterday when it happened. She stripped completely, pressed herself on me, tried oral, hand, the lots. Nothing worked. I suggested we watch porn together but I just couldn't feel a thing. It was like I couldn't even see what the actors were doing even though I was staring at it so hard and trying to feel it. I do hope this won't turn to something serious. I was so sad, even sadder when the girl remarked that it wasn't her fault because I was hurt even more that she might be feeling guilty somehow. I'm just spilling this here, not knowing exactly what I expect readers to do, but I know real great stuff (like a solid advice) can come from Nairaland. Thanks for reading.

It's been 3 years now, so what's your status?
Are you married now and did you face any erectile problem since then ?

This is interesting.

This thread now takes a new meaning considering what we are hearing about him now

RealityKings:
In whatever you do, always remember you are not responsible for a woman's life no matter what she does with her body. Don't catch feelings because you will endup making a fool of yourself

Ciao

I agree with you here but I have had experiences where a young girl came to work with us on a project I superviesed as sort of ad hoc/casual staff, she dropped out of SS3 and was a bit rough around the edges and this was a state where the general attitude was nonchalant and people were not too big on respect, so you get the picture.

I was quite hard on her and drilled her a lot to the point that about a year down the line, her mum came to our office to request if the Junior sister can join us even without pay.

As much as I agree that everyone has to be responsible for their own live sometimes we all wonder what could have been had we intervened in someone else's

@ RealityKings
@ Nicepoker
@ Philspace
@ BigDan69

I have completed the story. Would like to have your feedback or if you know a similar situation

MrNice04:
your story is eye opening

The experience was eye opening for me too.

I was like na so girls dey enter prostitution ?

Aside from innate waywardness, I think the major factors that contributed in her case were 3
Poverty, peer influence, poor parental/family guidance

ItisWell22:
It is well with her soul.

It’s just crazy that a lot of young people don’t get to understand the power or effect of destiny, until they make huge mistakes from which they may never recover.
Some got lucky.

Most times, girls from “good homes” going to tow that path almost never end well.
But they get carried away by the few seemingly successful ones they see around, and plunge deep into an unending tunnel of misery.

I actually know one but hers is a happy ending as she’s married to a “successful real estate mogul”, with 2 children, a boy and a girl.

Thanks so much.

Your follow ups encouraged me to finish the story.

"But they get carried away by the few seemingly successful ones they see around" - Survivor Bias, this is not mentioned often enough. This is the reason why a lot of young people fall into so many vices. Nobody sees a drug addict in the gutters and think, I just want to be like that guy.
It's always the really cool people who do the vice that lure others

FINAL PART
About 5 years after the initial part of this story happened, I was transferred back to the same state to relieve a manager that suddenly resigned.
By this time, the office apartment was at the outskirt of town.
There was a really big establishment about 10 mins away that had everything you might want in relaxation, they had a hotel, there was a bar, club, lounge, VIP section, restaurant and it was also a meeting point for girls of the night - you know what I mean.
The way the place worked, the inner lounge was cordoned with a small fence and security while the larger outer perimeter was semi opened, with table and chairs, things were generally cheaper in the outer area, the outer was usually filled with local boys and then girls waiting to catch the eye of customers heading inside the lounge.
The first night my colleagues took me there, guess guess guess - I saw girl A!
As we walked across the outer area to the lounge, somegirl walked towards us and greeted me.
She had changed a lot - A WHOLE LOT.
But I played it safe (cos my colleagues were there) and pretended as if I didn't recognize her - truth is, there was no way we would be knacking for months and I would forget her - but I just responded to her greeting politely and walked on.

I was confused at this stage, like what could she have been doing there, was it possible she came with a friend or someguy brought her. My sub conscious knew the truth but I just didn't want to accept it.

I would see her many other times at that place with questionable looking girls and would always feign ignorance and walk on. It was clear what she had become.

Finally, one evening, I went there alone, this time she boldly came close to me and I responded well and called her name. She seemed happy and even held my hand and I was thinking "see my life o"

So we walked and we entered the lounge part together. The lounge had better lighting and at that point I was able to see her fully - Damn! Time reveals a lot

Comparing what was in front of me with the young girl I knew years back, I felt some sort of guilt

I would say, girl A had changed completely.
She was fully bleached, you know this razz girl type of bleaching, her face had lost all eveidence of youth and innocence, she had that face and lips girls have when they smoke and drink excessively for long.
She had lost that youth slim fit stature and was now big especially around the middle, while still trying to fit into skimpy clothing
She also had at least two piercing, the nose and one other that I can't remember now.

So I got drinks and we started talking.
I didn't even bother asking if she was still working - that would have been a foolish question, considering the circumstance.
But I asked about girl B

Me: So how is girl B, I am not sure I will even recognize her if we meet today
girl A: It's been long since we talked
Me: Why? did you fight or something?
girl A: No o, We no longer live in the same place
Me: So where do you live now
girl: I now stay in XYZ area (She mentioned a ghetto just right behind the establishment we were in)
Me: You have a family or relative there
girl A: No, stay with my friend
Me: I see, what about girl B, does she still stay in your old location
girl A: Yes, as at the last time we talked, she was still there, suffering her life away
Me: hmmmm
girl A: I just had to escape and upgrade myself

Her last answers alomst knocked me out, the rest of the conversation we had was a blur, mainly banal stuff, can't remember much of it
I left the lounge sometimes after and she also went back to the outer range to wait for potential customers.

I went home and felt remorseful.
It was a story with a sad ending - from what I saw from her face and expressions, she was gone, It would take nothing short of something divine to restore her.

I wish I was one of those motivational guys who would meet people and turn their lives around, like that chess dude on twitter - maybe she could have been saved (or maybe NOT) but I behaved like a morafuker.

Anyway, that's my story - do you have something similar to share

Chevrolet076:
If dem beat the club wey you support, Na me pray for am as you dey leave us hanging

I don't support either of them - notice I called them "foolish"

Chevrolet076:
Guess is that she has become a full blown Olosho. Kai

hmmm

Let's see, I am typing the final part right now

10
Many months down the line, One evening, A friend of mine dragged me to a new bar in the neighborhood, guess who I met chatting with some boys when I got there - Girl A!

She approached me and we exchanged pleasantries and I asked questions just to catch up with her.


SO I asked about their office and she told me she had left the place, I was like why? did you get another job? did they sack you? did you have a problem with someone there? Her response was No, No, No, she just decided to leave. This puzzled me. To put it in context, this was a town where jobs were not easy to come by, especially office like work. The cost of living wasn't through the roof then as it is now, so it couldn't have been high cost of transport etc.
I asked if girl B was still working there, she said Yes.

So why did you leave ?? No answer
So are you trying to get another job? She responded feebly that she was looking for another job but it was clear it was just a way of getting me off her neck.

I started frequenting that bar and I would see her there most times, usually chatting/playing with some young guys and girls. We often greeted but I made sure it didn't advance beyond that.

By now, some things had changed about her, mainly her dressing, she was now more into body fitting gowns and some bits of make up but it was nothing much, she still gave more of the homely girl vibe than that of a runs girl.

I left the town shortly after and returned to Lagos.

But we still met again!
The next part is the denoument. The part that ties up the essence of all this long story

9.
So I called girl A to my side and told her I was considering getting a hotel room, on the condition that both of them will spend the night with me.
Omo!, this girl didn't even flinch!
She just said "Okay, I will have to talk to my friend"

My jaw dropped! Like wharraheck?
It was like scales fell from my eyes.
At that moment I began to recalibrate my impressions of girl A and reassessing all our previous experiences.

At that point, I became more uncomfortable staying there, so I started holding my tummy as though I was having some stomach problems...
So shortly after, I told them my tummy was feeling uncomfoertable and I needed to leave immediately.
I gave them some money to find there way home when they were done and took my exit.

As I left that venue, it was like something lifted off me and any attraction or lust I had towards girl A vanished.

I didn't call her again after that, she called me a couple of times but my response was just formal and polite and I didn't invite her back to my crib. And she was never the one to initiate, things stayed that way

But we ended up meeting again...

Abeg guys, I need to take a break to watch this match of two foolish clubs.

I will continue after the game

8.
This girl (the invited girl), let's call her C, was tartiness defined.
She was bleached to the hilt, you know those type of extreme cases with dark spots all over.
She was painfully thin and her dressing was so skimpy, her waist beads were showing openly.
She had nose ring, leg chain - I was like haba!, what is this?
If you had told me girl A had just gone around a corner to fetch a street ashana, I would have believed.
(Please note that this is not about judging or condemning girl C for who she is, each to their own, I am also not a saint but it's more about being surprised with their friendship - like where will girl A have met this kind of person )

So we left for the venue and hung out at the bar, but I just felt uncomfortable being in that company.
The way the girls A and C, were chatting and joking with each other, it was clear they had some familiarity.

At some point, my irritation boiled over and I decided to plan my exit from night out early.

But curiosity made me try an experiment with the girls - I wasn't prepared for the result



https://www.nairaland.com/8219369/know-regular-home-girl-became/1#132121760

Continues here

7.
About 6 months down the line, I finally suggested we have a proper night outing for the first time.
Thinking she might not have clubbed before, I suggested she might consider bringing a friend along to make her feel more comfortable. I half expected it was going to be girl B, but I was in for a shocker!

When I went to pick this girl A up (along with the friend she called) for our night out.
What I saw was Omooo x3!
I almost turned back

Franktom247:
Come and finish this story

I just dropped 3 more parts some minutes ago. (part 4 - 6)

Considering how many bottles I have had this night, my brain isn't firing at full throttle right now and I won't want to water down the quality of the writings.

So I go complete am tomorrow afternoon

RealityKings:
It's hard to judge most of these girls into prostitution. They really don't see anything wrong about making money with their bodies when they need money for expensive phones or hungry.

This is where men are at a disadvantage. Nobody will pay you to have sex with you even if you are dead hungry.

Females see their bodies as a tool to make money and solve their problems. It's just that men are the ones who are bothered about a woman having multiple sex partners. A woman doesn't actually care, she sees it as her luck and fun

This is accurate really.

I also find it hard to judge people considering some degenerate things I have done down the years.
I have nothing to say about women who sometimes use their body to get what they want, that's between them and their creator.

However, this thread is about those who are into commercial s*x on a full time basis, like those who have it as their major source of income.

Fisiryorh:
Yes oh....

Wan jennyclay. Then wan candidlady sef plus wan ugly thing called sheistoopretty...

They all full time whørēs now...

You're funny bro

6.

As I said, that first experience got me hooked up and we continued our (mainly) sexual relationship.
We would meet from time to time in the evening - I somehow never saw girl B again

The thing about girl A was that she was just always ready to go down, my explanation at that time was that she really liked me and was willing to do anything for me.
Even though I gave her money everytime she came around, I still wouldn't call the relationship transactional because she hardly asked - I can only remember her asking me once to settle an issue.

If you approached her in the kitchen, the bathroom, anywhere , she was ready to fire.
Doggy, Mouth Gig, scissors, no problem. If you're ready, she's ready.
The funny thing is, she still maintained that local plain girl appearnce on the outside.

Curiosly, she never used to intiate things, but once you showed interest, she put as much energy as you the intiator. As I said, she kept my mind messed for months even though physically she was just average to me.

Anyway, an event, some months down the line made everything go bad, real awry.


https://www.nairaland.com/8219369/know-regular-home-girl-became#132115995
Continues here

we got to my apartment
As they say, which kind of play joins a dog and a lion together ??

I didn't waste time , I made my move just shortly after we got in, while still sitting on the couch.
I met litte or no reistance, within minutes we were completely in our birthday suits and fumbling each other's parts. I guided her to lie on her back on the couch and I got on top.
Immediately I slid it in, while half my mind was still wondering if she was comfortable with her position, I noticed her leg were already raised, as in pointing straight up. At that point, I knew it was going to be some night and more.

it was devouring without hesitation. But I was shocked, this girl on the sheets was way wilder than she looked on the streets. She met thrust with thrust, aura for aura, grabbed you like you were just a piece of meat and was ready for any style or position you hinted at. It was crazy.
I was just dumb afterwards like "who would have thought!!!"

One thing about intercourse is, it's 50% mental, the lady in the streets, freak in the sheets attitude messed up my mind that day and I was hooked

Our thing didn't stop that day...

questioner:
I was intrigued!
Looking back, I sensed B must have known a thing or two about her friend that made her protest with such vehemence.


Anyway, I called girl A later in the evening and she descrined the exact location where I could pick her up.
Funny enough, I wasn't really attracted to these girls. They were not really what I considered my spec, but I was really curious.

So I picked her up maybe around 7:30 or thereabouts

This is where the story takes a turn....

4.
Initially, i took her to non alcoholic spots, all th0se pastries place and we got soft drinks and yoghurt or so.
After about an hour, I motioned for us start going, I didn't want her to be out late.

On the way back home, she made a comment about how she's happy the outing ended before it got late, however, there was a way she said it that you could decipher that her message was actually the opposite - I didn't expect this stuff to end as early and dull as this.
The bells started ringing in my head and travelling thru my spine to that forbidden place.

In cases like this, my immediate reaction has always been to take things a whole notch higher - and over time, I have had some really unexpected results.
I suggested to girl A that since there was still a bit of time and they had never known my apartment since I met them, we could quickly go there for me to 'show her'. She didn't protest, so I turned back and drove to my place.