₦airaland Forum

misspicy:
Ehya u n ur dad not in good book,sowi abt that,dnt treat ur children dat way pls

Surely I won't.... Such kind of Relationship is Very Common in This part of the World though

Titidi:
“When I talk to you and advise you, do I talk with water in my mouth?”

Please what's the meaning?

Simply means whether you Understand

Rikidony:
Ur sockets no for dey conducive for any new eye bro

Haha!! Sockets?? That's Worse!

Rikidony:
funny dude

u get luck na Yoruba pepper soup if na calabar one wei dem dey pack like 4 pack of Cameroon pepper put na another story u for give


I smell Front page

You mean Say I for Don dey Price New Eyes for Market now??

wordbank:
Omo mehn! How many ur momsy put for u

Bros you go Sabi Derail sha

wordbank:
Na Kpomo abi na liver

Shakky! That one wey dey Drag u as yhu dey Drag am

wordbank:
Ur papa na tight man But u chop d meat finish?

I dey Dull?? Why not?

Dharniel:
Thank God you didn't loose it...

Thank God ooo

FriedPlantain:
https://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-07/18/8/enhanced/webdr10/anigif_enhanced-buzz-31768-1405685443-14.gif

Bros Look Your Front

RobinHez:
These two are so annoying to me


another one thats not on that list is

if u have any female friend or u'r walking with a female, u've started "moving around with girls abi? u want to get a girl pregnant abi??"
so so annoying....and its not funny atall

Hahaa! Especially being Blamed for everything your Younger ones Do

I had Just woken up and checked the Time on my Phone. It was 5:30PM. I looked around me. Dammit! I had just Slept off In my Cousin's Smelly Room! How did I sleep Off here? Tiredness and Frustration had something to do with this surely.
I stood up Immediately and Picked up my Power bank and Cell phone. Heard my Mum's Voice In the Parlour and Knew the Coast was clear I went to into the Parlour,greeted her and Dropped the Power bank but was Feeling Something About Boring a Hole on my back. I turned immediately and Surely he was there Looking at me with Bloodshot eyes like he was going to Pounce on me at any moment.
I Ran away from the Room immediately Before he Actually Carries out the Plans in his head. It was not my Fault that I've wasted some years at home and when I taught my worries where over, The School sent me back Home That my Admission Processing was Faulty and Suspicious. Life would have been a bit Easier for me If Dad didn't Come back home cos he was Sick. The Man always looked at me with so much Disdain like I was also the Cause of his Problems.
Not before Long, Food was Ready. Fufu and Pepper Soup. Thank God say my mama Dey alive sef if not, I would Surely be Dead by now in the Hands of that man.
After swallowing my own Portion of Fufu, I was Eating my Allocated Meat and Soup when I saw his Eyes Looking Deeply at me again. I was fed up already! I was angry with my Life so far, the Number of exams I had Written in school before I was sent packing, the Number of Girlfriends I was 'Chyking' already that would surely be Laughing at me now. At that instant, I forgot to Close my eyes Before tearing the meat in my hands and there and then it happened!! I couldn't understand What was happening anymore. The world and everything in it Felt hot! I thought I was already in hell! I remembered Friedplantain's Signature which Read ''If Yoruba Pepper soup enters your eye, Forget it. Go and buy a New Eye''. I was just Screaming like a Mad dog that had Sand in his Mouth! I thought I had Lost my Precious eyes. Is this the Punishment God Had for me For Regularly Viewing Porn? Is this my Price for The times I Used my Eyes to Look at other People's Girlfriend Bumbum Then Came sweet Mother. Before Long, I could start seeing a Little with my Almost Dead eyes. When I looked around me, I saw Mum and My sisters With bowls of water and there Faces Filled with Pity for there Pitiful Son and Brother. My Younger brother was With his Phone Capturing the Whole event For Yotube or Instagram I was sure. And there he was! Swallowing like Nothing ever happened at his Favourite corner.

SAMBARRY:
I remember those days when I told my mom on our way back from church that we should branch to mr biggs. Mr biggs that time was the only restaurant in nigeria those days. Guess what she said. The remaining fufu I didn't finish is still in the fridge


when I remember I'm always

My Own Mama go do Like say she know Here you!

coogaluta:
No 19: I have a friend who keeps explaining the importance of prostrating during trad wedding to her oyibo boyfriend

Lol.... We Africans always Like To Show off!

seankay:
When you are in Public, ur mom's facial expression is enough to do d talking
African Parents will always compare their neighbours' Children to theirs whenever they are scolding their Children

I tell you!! She Uses her Eyes to tell you When to Collect or Reject something.....Sometimes we go just Lock up do our thing then Face the music Later

teddybear007:
Very true and wonderful epistle on d other hand

Epistle?? For Real?

Pinocchioo:
Lol, very funny post, but true. That number 10 ehn, the thing tire me.

E Tire you?? E Dey Pain me!! Imagine Walking all the way from Your Room to the Parlour Just to Give them there Cell Phone that's Just Few meters away from them

Ruq:
If Visitors give you money they will collect it especially moms and it's always like this "bring the money let me help you to keep it". I hate that.

And the money will be Kept Forever!

TrishaP:
That number 6 tho. After slamming the door be ready to live behind that closed door for the rest of your life.

Hahaa....yhu Might be given The Silent Treatment that will Kill Yhu before your Death

(Read carefully and state if it’s TRUE or FALSE)
1. Your parents are basically demi-gods. It doesn’t matter if you learned that the sky is blue. If your parents say Blood is Green,then Blood is in fact, Green. At least, in their presence.

2. Your parents will seldom never admit they are wrong. And if and when they do, you will be too stunned to even believe it.

3. Your grandparents are the only people who can put your parents in their place. (And you will enjoy those moments.)

4. Your house is a free for all. At some point a relative, twice-removed, will be invited to stay for an extended-period of time.

5. You will likely be raised the old-fashioned way -“you spare the rod, you spoil the child” kind of old-fashioned way. In your adulthood, you’ll largely be grateful for it and you’ll always be able to tell the difference between people who were raised the same way and people who were not.

6. God help you if you’re living under your parent’s roof and you yell at them, slam a door in anger, and/or curse in their presence. Yeah, God help you.

7. The youngest child will be blamed for everything….until he or she is able to talk.

8. The oldest child will be blamed for everything that the younger children do.

9. If you cry while being accused of something, it is assumed that you are guilty.

10. Your parents will call you from upstairs, downstairs, outside, etc., to hand them something that is literally 10 centimeters away from them.

11. You will not leave your parents’ home without learning how to cook.

12. Religious attendance and practice is not an option.

13. Everyone who is older than you is your “auntie” or “uncle.” Calling them by their first name is basically a crime against humanity.

14. You will probably never meet all of your extended family because there are just so many of them.

15. This one specifically applies to most Nigerians (although I have to hand it to papa and mama for not putting this kind of pressure on us): Doing well in school is not an option and by doing well, parents have expectations that you will be the best at everything. Example: If you get a 98%, they might ask, “What happened to the other 2%?” If you get a B, your parents will likely ask, “The person who got an A, do they have three heads?” Just do well in school.

16. Your friends better greet your parents first when they see them or that friendship is pretty much over. RESPECT is HUGE.

17. Sleepovers at friends’ houses are mythical tales or basically only happen when your parents have known the family’s family since the beginning of time.

18. Another mythical tale – being in a serious relationship with anyone when you’re in your teens. And until your parents believe you are of, “courtship age,” they will refer to anyone you are dating as, “your friend.”

19. You will still be expected to have a traditional engagement/marriage regardless of where the person you’re marrying is from. (Have fun explaining the details of that to all your significant others!)

20. Your parents will talk to you in a lot of proverbs and metaphors. For example, when I was about 10, I spent half a day trying to figure out what my dad meant when he said, “When I talk to you and advise you, do I talk with water in my mouth?” I eventually got it.

21. You will have maybe 3 conversations about sex with your parents – one when puberty starts to take its course, the second one when you start secondary school Biology, and the third one when you are about to leave home. They will all surprisingly sound like the Mean Girl’s quote, “Don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die!” followed by “Do not bring shame to this family!”

22. Your siblings will be the first people to bully the crap out of you. Later on, you’ll realize that they were preparing you for a big bad world out there.

23. If your entire full name is being called, and your native language is also being spoken, the day shall not pass without tears.

24. Soft Drinks in the fridge? Either your parents were in a REALLY good mood or there are visitors coming over.

25. Surprisingly, alcohol is a hit or miss with African parents. It depends on the set that you get.

26. You won’t realize how incredibly hilarious and somewhat bizarre your upbringing was until you reach adulthood. And you’ll burst out into tears of laughter when you’re sitting next to an African woman who is telling her child who probably just got a B, “So the person who got an A, do they have three heads?” Hang in there kid, they secretly boast that they have the best children ever, just not to your face.

God Bless Our Parents

Cutehector:
abeg explain...

You no dey gree Follow simple Rules From Masters of the Game.

charijee:
[color=#CD1076]You taught me [/color]

Naa.... I can't be dhiz Wicked......anyway, Our Amiable Mod is here....the Thread would soon be shut!

agarawu23:
where is rocktation when you need her ?

What do you need her For?

If 2 Adults decide to Run around the Market Naked, they should be Left alone.

charijee:
[color=#CD1076]I'd rather be your matron [/color]

Matron?? Hahaa!!

Wicked

Cutehector:
Depends on d kind of lady am on a date wit..

Se why You never get Girlfriend

God Was Unfair then.... Just 20 years to Human??

This Story is sweet oo

But why is Blackett not on that List.... I've seen Him beaten Black,Red and Blue

berrieblizzie:
i will officially reward u as *the poo activist*

Lol.....

Am honoured

Emmaville:
U re one of dem..

Has five trophies at Poo..

Na God

masterchi:
hmmmm now you sound like u are jobless.

I know where this is going so I'll Rather Stop here

Cheerio