₦airaland Forum

samzi: nice one sir...

thanks

Chuksemi: Nice poem. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Good turn out.

thanks

EJanni: Am on facebook. just send me your adress so we can chat through facebook.

okay. Add Emmanuel Bassey Raymond

EJanni: no. I've not gotten and I would love to have but I don't know how to create that. If you know please put me through. Thank you

okay, well, distance might be a barrier. Are you on any chat app? Fabebook or 2go?

EJanni: thank you very much for reading and for your advice. But the poem is not realy a romantic poem but a poem for Nigerians.

the tone is somehow romantic. All thesame, well done!

Thanks Ejanni. Happy independence day too. Do you have a platform where you post your poems?

Well Written bro. Quite deep! Nice use of words too. I enjoyed every line. "smiles mangled by many cheerless tears." sweet!

EJanni: with a heart as heavy as rock
And deep like nostalgic abyss
I write to you my laggard love

Do you remember that day?
You took that oath of commitment. That day you were let loose by your fosters.
To cling to your household.
After all struggles and hold backs
As you bragged to have learnt
How to marry and parent well.

But so egacious it be now
That you'er no near to the task
Since the day of your vow till date
This union has been in callow

See your chldren gulp wine of power. And staggar in avarice like a drunken urchin in the street.
Junta,partition and succession ambushed them and knocked them off balance.

Oh wazobia! my love
Ignorance and depravity have taken a heavy toll on them, our traitorous and indolent children
Their heritage abused like a
Maid servant in a LovePeddler house
Now the virile advocates for neo- colonialsm. No initiative except that might cow all try to milk down.

Your kinsmen that run to you for
Solace have all woken from sleep
And now your chldren run to
To them for asylum like a Lord in
A vassal's hut.

Annually our union festival we
Feast. With little or nothing to
Show for it. We've grown but yet
In callow. Yet to realize our oath
Of commitment.
Wazobia! Am no bare in shame desert.

Wazobia! Oh my ageless love
Ladies delight oh pigrims favorite
You who have all it takes to be a
Man. Wake up and chastise your
Children. Before the ocean of
Mediocrity drowns them up.

Or should we go back to them?
I mean our fosters that joined us
Never! I heared you shout
Then arise and exorcise this slumbery.
For with this our legs as thin as
That of a sickly mosquito
Even in centenary we would be no
Near to a mileage.

you wrote well. Just a little advice, work on imagery. And next time, make it rhyme at the coupling end. Romantic poems 'taste' better when rhymed.
Aside that, it was worth reading. I wrote a poem to "green' today as Nigeria's independence day. You can read it by checking my profile. Well done dear.

Well, nice rhymes. But, why didn't you channel your pen into writing something positive? Something to lift the mind amidst the plethora of challenges ravaging the country. The caption alone: "WHY THERE SHOULDN'T BE A CELEBRATION OF INDEPENDENCE..." alone is "unhealthy" and too 'mean'. No one would want to welcome something negative in a time of celebration like this. I am open to the truth inherent in your piece, but you could have mixed it up somehow by highlighting the negatives and offering hope and optimism at the tail end of the poem. Check my profile, i dedicated a poem to Nigeria. In my poem, i "sweetened" the ills mitigating against national developement by offering hope and optimism between lines-in-twos that rhyme at the coupling end.

You must buy a bottle of wine for any mode who moves it to the front page.

Good work though!

Split the heavens with trumpetous shouts! Let the drums roll to deafening height"_"paint the tall walls with colours of green and white''_"sing the national anthem, deafen the ears of her enemies with the sound"_"let all in this blessed national station joy and merry around."_"clang the joyous Bells and wagging gong to zillion decibels"_"Nigeria, Africa's bravest daughter is 54, blow the brazen merimbals" _"swing her Flag to dance samba to the happy wind"_"of pestilence and disaster, she survived their intertwine"- "put on the green and white regalia of celebration, fasten dancing shoes "_"play the national song! she has paid her independent dues"_"Woe to the boko-haramites!, to ebola and its clique in destruction"_"hell will have them for a meal, they cannot tame our peaceful nation."_"peace, Love, And Unity, Nigeria's eternal 'blessed curse'"_"Terrorism, kidnapping, corruption, bribery oh! This is the end of your course!."_"o' Nigerians, let's dine in harmony, in strength and in oneness like a flock"_"and merge hearts and mights with our national shepherd o' Goodluck."_"shall Religion set an embargo to our unity, peace and co-habitation?"_"muslims and Christians, Eat from thesame national plate, fight not in confusion"_"the tender flowers can not thrive in drought"_"our national bond, the work of heroes past that fought."_"Tongue not words of sorrow and d00m, we will get to the milky and honeyful land and achievement's pinnacle"_" to sons and daughters of Hell, of Bokoharam and 'ebola-haram' It will Be a Miracle."

HAPPY 54TH INDEPENDENCE DAY NIGERIA!