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Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 9:01pm On Feb 18, 2013
Oahray: I agree with Redmos on this one. Wonder why peeps are going on and on about changing storyline. What storyline? The one that is still being developed or another? The fact that every writer can twist the story anyway he likes while picking up from where the last writer stopped is what makes the whole collabo idea fun.

Besides the 1st person narrative, the tense, and some grammatical errors which everyone is capable of making, I think he's on point like a full-stop!
[b]
Gbam! I agree I've always had a problem with my tenses and now I am forcing myself to right that.
I also agree with my narration bleep as you and X have said.
But it is the way people are shunning the thing like wan kain plague that is troubling me. They say I push the tory too far. How na?
Did I say na Ayo be killer?
This thing is meant to be a detective novel. I dont read detective novel's much, but from the few detective games I've played and the movies I've watched, I know that there is always a misleading suspect who eventually turns out to be just a pawn or even innocent.
I went alien with my story, let us break from the norm and do something beautifully weird and twisting, let us go through a forest and leave a path behind, not following the norm of what we want.
Let us think weird and strange and incorporate our disapproving craziness into this story jare. I want to see heart thumping creativity of crytographic origin, we young and wild and free.
Let us challenge ourselves beautifully.
As far as I'm concerned frank left me only clues, no challenges, it was too easy for me to make something out of it and I planned on robbing the next poster of that priviledge( Efe I'm sorry for robbing u of time too) I just wanted to be intrigued by whatever shall be built on my addition.
As of now I have no expectations or even the slightest thought of what she'll make of it.
She calls it garbage. Pfft! I call it obscure diamond, she only has to polish it with her unique imagination.
You cannot ruin something that never existed, Its like I was building a castle on water, you all should not hold specific trains of thought in your head and expect me to follow. U sit down and smile at the craziness.
Peace
[/b]

5 Likes

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 7:21pm On Feb 18, 2013
[b]
let us even forget everyone's views on the tense and narration.
The story line gan gan, I agree with Mr X jare, I made it more interesting jorh! What was I supposed to focus on?
Everybody was expecting their individual taste and I brought my own taste, I dont believe I messed up any storyline.
The character I introduced can be killed off with minute dexterity, a bigger foe can be created from the clay I left behind. I already have up to two to three mental ways about how that can be done.
I took about 45 mins to come up with the twist, I dunno if that makes it a rush work, but thats was the best I could do and I liked what I saw.
Efe still believes I wrote it on the 17th.
*shrugs shoulders*
after I done kiss ur toe finish, u still no wan gree my word. Na u sabi for that wan jare, I'm too tired to keep tryna convince u. I wrote it before the 17th, shikena!
The truth remains as it is no matter perception and beliefs.
Every writer was given a chance to roam free as long as he or she was still tethered to the story, I remained tethered even though I roamed wild, I apologise for my errors ( I only saw them after I posted), but not the story line. The story line is me, as each of yours is you all.

Peace.
[/b]

3 Likes

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 10:38pm On Feb 17, 2013
I reread this thing twice yesterday and once again today before modifying it and pasting it, how come na?
I somehow loved those tense presentations, but now ishilove done catch me and I must repent! sad
grin grin grin
Dayum! Some of the corrections I made were not corrected!
another shows him brushing his teeth
I corrected this stuff and it still came out wrong! Maybe I undid it unknowingly! But now its corrected! grin grin grin
I didnt rush it, I just tried to make it not too easily discernible, I dont read detective novels much but I kinda thought they would have hidded meanings and cryptic stuff that dont need to be said too much and all, I dunno, I just thought so and I tried to do so.
Oya I don jam una Danfo, I be the least learner for here na! i done modify am oooo! Check it out and give me more feedback oooo! grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 10:17pm On Feb 17, 2013
Ishilove:

The building that burnt down was the house where Koko lived, not a hotel. Please make the necessary adjustments.
#.
es na! It is the house I mentioned, not the hotel!
I ma reading it again, the tautology stuff was just a way of breaking some fun, some people actually see that and laugh grin grin grin grin, like I'm doing right now grin grin grin grin
Lemme read more and come back
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 9:59pm On Feb 17, 2013

I will ermm..... Modify!
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 8:52pm On Feb 17, 2013
Ishilove: I do not like the direction this story is taking. I do not like it at all.

Redmoss, bro, I love you, but I am going to be candid with you here; you just fuccked up my mojo.

sad sad

how na?
Baby geh please explain better na!

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 8:10pm On Feb 17, 2013
Rap maestro: no nid aqain,i don read and diqest am... Enjoyed d twist..
grin grin grin grin grin
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 7:53pm On Feb 17, 2013
Rap maestro: Red Moss,dis one difficult 2 comprehend
How na? Oya lemme modify it! grin grin grin
And make sure u read from beginning ooo! I took most of the clicks from Larry and less from Frank!
Literature / Re: Nairaland Writers Collaboration by Redmosquito(m): 7:10pm On Feb 17, 2013
CHAPTER THREE
WOLF
SUBMITTED BY REDMOSQUITO



Chief Koko is the perfect undiluted personification of corruption, corruption so bad that even Abacha looked saintly beside him. Chief Koko has one wife and one son, legally of course. But infact he has up to twelve sugar-girls, seven concubines, eleven ashewos, eight bit*ches, and more children than I can bother to mention. He is like an African Lion, he has a lot of female suggies, but he's only just a one minute man.

He is a high-profile senator, he got the position through rigging and kept that position for up to ten years now, through continuous rigging. But now, fate has caught up with him and he is dead.
His house is burnt down, his many bodyguards too were found in the building along with his wife and son, burnt to ashes all of them.

9:10 a.m, Police Station area G command,

Lucan stands before his boss, sweating and shaking, he knows nothing about this crime yet his name and phone number were found beside Chief Koko’s body. Oh! Did I forget to mention? Chief Koko was found dead today in a hotel, the same one he has lodged in so many times with his many babes. The hotel management heard some thrashings and bangings in his room, but they didn’t bother to investigate. Who can blame them? Chief Koko has a history of getting wild with his ladies in bed, so such noises are a usual part of his sexual frenzy. Rubbish old man. Thank God say death done catch am.

Chief Koko was found this morning, dead, his mouth stuffed with naira and dollar notes, some sort of symbols were cut into his fat exposed belly, his man*hood was found floating in the toilet sink, his eyes were open even in death, he probably witnessed the last moment of his mutilations.

And beside his body was a small piece of white rough paper, nothing special about it, except that on it was scribbled the name and phone number of a common police officer, Officer Lucan Ode.

Officer Lucan stands before Mr Ibe, his boss, a stout man, of round girth, bald head, and this strange twitch in the left corner of his upper lip that always gets real bad when he gets vexed or worried, as he is now.

“Luke! Look here Luke!”, Mr Ibe said to Lucan, trying to keep his voice low. He always calls Lucan “Luke”. And Lucan doesn’t seem to mind, he’s his boss. Mr Ibe paused a while before continuing.

“Luke! Do you know what this means to us? The police force? You’re a well decorated man of this force! Of this Academy! Do you know what this means to us? To me?”

Lucan shifts his gaze from left to right as he stands before his boss, he has nothing to fear, he’s innocent of course, he’s innocent. But that doesn’t mean anything, he is now a suspect in this murder case, whether anybody likes it or not, and he is now scared for himself.

“Sir! I …. I am confused….innocent! I don’t know what it……I …..”, Lucan stammers and his voice later breaks away into silence as he chokes on his own words.

Mr Ibe puts one hand to his head and rubs his bald scalp.

“Luke! Of course you’re innocent! I know that. But you know protocol, you must be investigated and probed. I believe you, I want you to know that. Whoever did this we’re gonna get them and they’re gonna pay big time! But as for now, you just have to play by the rules of the law!”, Mr Ibe smiled a sad smile as he said this words to young Lucan.

Lucan turns his gaze to the floor, he can actually feel fear gripping his heart, confusion, anger. Who wants to do this to me? Why me? I’m just a simple police officer!

Lucan is just being modest, he is no mere Police Officer, he is something far more, something far more important. He has earned the respect and envy and hate of eighty percent of the police detectives in Lagos, he solved a murder case so easily, everyone thought he was there himself. The dexterity with which he solved it, that is what has landed him in this mess, although he does not know it.

Lucan puts his hands to his shoulder, pulls at the uniform, removes his badge and drops it on Mr Ibe’s table. Mr Ibe nods at this act, and lets off another sad smile as Lucan walks out of his office. Lucan walked into that office a Police officer, and now he walks out a suspended Police Officer, like gun absent bullet he now is.

***************************
9:10 a.m ,At Lucan’s apartment.
Something sinister is going on, something subtle and evil is taking place, an evil boy lurks in the shade of this small house.

The boy stands at the corner of Lucan’s apartment, right beside the trash bin. And then he smiles as he drops something into the bin, a yellow card, a trapezoid card, a sim card.

And then he walks away smiling, a hood over his head.

Ayodele walks into his hostel some minutes later, he sways timidly like a geek, his hood shyly put over his small head.

Ayodele is a 300 level student, quite bookish and nerdy. He has zero social life, and always has very good grades, really good grades.

He walks towards his room door, pulls out a spare key from his back pocket, and pushes the head of the key into the keyhole, not the tail as should be done.

He pushes the door open, looks about his dirty room, food all over the place, Mathematics books all over the floor, books on Murder, Law, Love, Death, Genghis khan, Greek Science, Spirituality and all the likes litter the place along with boxers, some pieces of bread, lots of dull coloured clothes and other boy stuffs.

That’s the good thing about private hostels, anybody can afford and maintain a room that is solely his, as long as he has the dough.
He steps to one side of the room, pushes away some stiff boxers to reveal an old battered laptop.

He raises the laptop, presses the ON button, waits a while and then begins to surf the worldwide web, he smiles as he looks over the FOREX statistics of the day, his business is going smoothly, he has made some few thousand dollars today.

He pushes the laptop aside, grabs a sit and seats himself, pulling open his cupboard door, he reveals a series of photos. He grabs a handful of them and begins to flick past. These are pictures of Lucan, these pictures are taken in different locations and different time, one shows Lucan in bed, another shows him brushing his teeth, another shows him in his office, in one he is standing beside a lovely-looking lady, probably his girlfriend. But Ayodele seems to be more interested in one picture, one of a mutilated girl surrounded by some sort of vegetation, not up to twelve years of age she is.

That picture is the same picture that earned Officer Lucan his name, that picture is the same reason he, Ayodele Bolaji, is after Officer Lucan. That picture is the same reason he wants to meddle with this man.

Ayodele looks at this picture for some time, frowns and the throws the stack of photographs back into the cupboard. Before he closes his eyes in his seat, slipping into the world of dreams, a small pistol dangling from his right hand as he sleeps.

5 Likes

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:55am On Feb 17, 2013
brokoto:

Redmoss, your excuse ehn...grin

I done explain to Larry na!
True true! I didnt forsee it!
I was planning to just post my story and leave the next writer in dilemma! Yes! That was my plan! gringrin
But now I'm the one in dilemma, school is a beach ooo. Make sure not to send ur children to that place oo! gringringrin
Efe thank you for understanding! Thank you very much!
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:45am On Feb 17, 2013
Oahray: Lol... Actually I'm impressed. You are quite good with the apology thing. I don already forgive you sef, before I remember say no be me dey vex grin

buhahahahahahahaha
LMA0
No go church y'hear, dey there dey carry apology wey no belong to you
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:41am On Feb 17, 2013

Praises be to Sango!
She don gree for me!
I don marry wife ooo!
Thank you very much Efe!
Thank you!
Thank you!
*winks at Larry and Oahray*
Make una no worry, I go name the twins after una, u sabi as e dey go na
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:29am On Feb 17, 2013
Larry-Sun:
LOL! I bet there's no man here who can win a woman's heart like Redmoss. grin

Make una commot for road jorh!
No make this babe change am for me, I am too young to be singing Halleluyah in heaven.
Efe! Please from the depth of my insectine heart I beg and apologise. I'm really sorry for my delay.
Infact bring those toes again, lemme kiss them one more time.

1 Like

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:25am On Feb 17, 2013
Oahray: ^^ grin grin grin

better commot for road before I jam u.
We resemble cinema actors for here abi!
gringringrin
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:05am On Feb 17, 2013
Efemena_xy: ^^ And you think I haven't got priorities in my life too?

You think I do nothing but sit idle, twiddling my thumbs, yes? angry angry angry

Chai! I also said "we all had sacrificed our time willingly", our time is also our priority na
Oya
*prostrates for Efe*
I'm really sorry if I cause you any trouble with my delay, I really am sorry. Please dont be vexed.
Oya smile for the only Mosquito in ur cupboard.
Abeg no vex
*kisses her toes*
Muah muah muah
Abeg! Forgive my delay! Abeg! Abeg!!
Infact ehn! PM me ur phone number lemme send u two thousand Naira credit, after u send me ur bikini pics of course.
Abeg! Efe no vex!
*waves spread fingers at her meekly*
Abeg!

2 Likes

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 10:23am On Feb 17, 2013
Efemena_xy:

I will not be dangled from a shoe string nor taken for a ride by you or anyone else Red.

If you really have that update as you claim to have, and not simply stalling for time here - then what stops you from popping into the nearest internet cafe to upload your story?? Why wait till the end of the day?

Let's look at this objectively. Each writer is allocated 4 days to deliver their story. You've had an extra day from Frank, plus you intend to snip a day off me for yourself. So that gives you what? Six (6) days abi? While mine is slashed to three (3) days abi? And you call that fair, yes?

No need for long story, jare. You might as well take the remaining 3 days and work on chapter 4, since you're obviously taking the p!$$ here.

Thank You.
[b]
Wait! U think I'm have it on a flash drive! Its on my laptop, on my microsft word, and my laptop is in Lagos, and I'm outside Lagos.
Chai! Efe! If I cannot or have not written this thing then I would not say so. Its not as if anybody's gonna hack my head for not doing so.
I sacrificed my time as you all do or will do....willingly, without force or coercion. And I am upright enough to give u my truth, the truth, and I am sincere enough to know you deserve to be vexed and doubt my words, but I can only say I'm sorry .
I admit I'm displaying some form of unprofessionalism as I've rightly told Larry, but my life has priorities. And I'm sorry if they happen to clash on ur turf, this story, this collabo of writers, it is a chance for me to learn more. And contrary to what you think, I take it seriously, and I have the update. Yes! I have.
I can so easily PM Larry for more time.
I'm sorry for any inconvenience posed, I'm really sorry.
And ermmm..... I'm not dangling anybody from anything. I'm just saying the truth.
Please dont be vexed.
[/b]
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 10:22am On Feb 17, 2013
Efemena_xy:

I will not be dangled from a shoe string nor taken for a ride by you or anyone else Red.

If you really have that update as you claim to have, and not simply stalling for time here - then what stops you from popping into the nearest internet cafe to upload your story?? Why wait till the end of the day?

Let's look at this objectively. Each writer is allocated 4 days to deliver their story. You've had an extra day from Frank, plus you intend to snip a day off me for yourself. So that gives you what? Six (6) days abi? While mine is slashed to three (3) days abi? And you call that fair, yes?

No need for long story, jare. You might as well take the remaining 3 days and work on chapter 4, since you're obviously taking the p!$$ here.

Thank You.
[b]
Wait! U think I'm have it on a flash drive! Its on my laptop, on my microsft word, and my laptop is in Lagos, and I'm outside Lagos.
Chai! Efe! If I cannot or have not written this thing then I would not say so. Its not as if anybody's gonna hack my head for not doing so.
I sacrificed my time as you all do or will do....willingly, without force or coercion. And I am upright enough to give u my truth, the truth, and I am sincere enough to know you deserve to be vexed and doubt my words, but I can only say I'm sorry .
I admit I'm displaying some form of unprofessionalism as I've rightly told Larry, but my life has priorities. And I'm sorry if they happen to clash on ur turf, this story, this collabo of writers, it is a chance for me to learn more. And contrary to what you think, I take it seriously, and I have the update. Yes! I have.
I can so easily PM Larry for more time.
I'm sorry for any inconvenience posed, I'm really sorry.
And ermmm..... I'm not dangling anybody from anything. I'm just saying the truth.
Please dont be vexed.
[/b]
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 7:46am On Feb 17, 2013
Efemena_xy:


Really?

Pls don't play on my intelligence or attempt to take the rest of us here for f00ls. It's bad enough that you can't seem to set your priorities straight, but to fib about it also??

You had no qualms giving your thread lengthy updates on the 13th, 14th and 15th, did you? https://www.nairaland.com/1185626/sango-return-lightning/8#14290903

So what prevented you from using that time, plus the extra day you had at your disposal (from Frank's early submission) in getting your act together?

Now you ask that I wait one extra day for you abi? Or rather you feel its okay for you to take my time to clean up your act? Don't bother. Why don't you go ahead and write my chapter as well?

Afterall, you obviously take this exercise a lot more seriously than I do.

Thank You.

Efe u're getting it all wrong. My laptop is dead and out of reach.
I've had to travel out of Lagos unplanned, I have the update. I will get back today but it might take a while thats all.
I do not play on no ones' intelligence. I was planning on updating on my set time, no later or earlier, and so I kept the update even though I'd completed it. I am just afraid there'll be no light back in hostel when I get back, that's why I said 7 p.m latest. I wont lie to you. I updated my stories between 7pm and midnights, check their time, its because thats the only time my hostel is assured of light.
I have the thing already, dont think I dont. I was expecting to update at night and some needs arose and I've had to rush home for a day.
I'm really sorry. I sincerely am.

1 Like

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 1:41am On Feb 17, 2013

Efe and the rest of the guys, I'm sorry for my delay. I really do have the update, but I guess its just a null statement if I cant post it.
I will love to promise tomorrow afternoon but I'm afraid of usual setbacks. I'll post it by seven O'clock P.M latest .
I'm no longer on break and as such I am now always bent and broken by hostel and class forces.
I'm sorry for my delay.

Efe dont worry, I cooked up a good Koko, as in a good Chief Koko, dont worry you'll make it through. I'm apologising to you most especially, no vex for me abeg.
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 1:15pm On Feb 12, 2013

hehehehehee
frank no go kee me!
Efe na woman oo! Not man!
Muhehehehee
Mr Efe what is ur reply?

gringringrin
Religion / Re: Lightning Strikes As Pope Benedict Resigns by Redmosquito(m): 12:03pm On Feb 12, 2013
[b]
This is faker than fake!
Even the pic proves it. Lightning is one fast phenomenon. Wat are the chances of the guy actually pointing his camera at the dome and anticipating a strike.
Haaaaa! So dumb fake! I think the photographer is actually trying to insult our IQ.

I'm reading some comments and I've had to modify my post for more clarification.
Pope retires on monday, there is no news of a storm or anything like that.
If there was a storm on that same day, the whole would know, trust me, they would take it as a sign.
A man sets his camera idly in front of the dome on the day that the pope retired, no storm and anything. And he catches pic of a lightning strike.
First of all, why did he point his cam at the dome on that prticular day?
He is a vatican photographer, what is there that he has not snapped a million times.
Or was he anticipating a strike in a clear weather?
The whole thing is boxed up, like a pack of dumb lies.
Some say it was photographed, others say it was videod.
BBC uploads the video and another vatican photographer is claiming it?
Haaa! I need to chillax
[/b]

7 Likes

Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:30am On Feb 12, 2013

And ermm Mynd, if water is flowing up, its not the world that has changed, its you.
You've gone upside down

Ehen, White moss na so?
gringrin
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:27am On Feb 12, 2013

so?
There was nothing bad in that.
It was what you said after the "so?" that pissed me off. Look at that, "so?" is a harmless string of words.
Munch on what?
Terrible cook like you, me? Taste ur food? Am I mad?
Park well jorh

gringringrin
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 11:10am On Feb 12, 2013

Mynd, I do not wish to throw our memory back to unfortunate times.
My silly Childish tantrums at you?
I know better, Mynd. I know better.
Take jokez seriously?
I joke with 99 percent of Nairaland.
Mynd, I know water when I smell it. And u seem wet.
Let us bury our Atomic bombs and ignore the radiation poisoning.
And ermm Valentine?
Wetin consign me and Val?
I ALMOST FORGOT
gringringrin
Literature / Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Redmosquito(m): 10:30am On Feb 12, 2013
[b]
Okay, I'm just waking after more than 9 hrs of sleep or was it less.
I av seen the aftermath of my little ermmm....drama.
I wanted to just forget and let it slide, but water under the bridge is not always a blessing.
Xsolution thank you for defending me jare.
Mynd, I av little to say to you. I've been noticing jabs in ur posts to me, it is not my imaginations at work, I actually notice them. I want to believe u dont always mean them and that they're only innocent moves. I might not agree with Mr X as to the cause of these, but I know there is a form of "these"
I bolded a part of ur post I quoted in order to draw attention away from the other part, I was trying to convince myself u didnt mean it.
Last night my brain was tired and fray, u stepped on my nerves at the wrong time albiet probably innocently, as I want to believe.
We have a history that is not so ermmm....smooth, so ur moves may be ermmm.....subconsious.
I wont apologise for last night cos I meant every word I said.
I expect ur usual short boring replies, Can u disappoint me?
Once again thank you Xsolutions.
I feel a sort of weird de ja vu!
Oh! I moving into hostel today guys, wish me luck! Dirty boys hostel, time to activate Suffer-head mode.
gringringrin
[/b]
Romance / Re: Leave A NL Voicenote For Your NL Valentine, Potential Valentine, or Friends by Redmosquito(m): 11:54pm On Feb 11, 2013
snthesis: 61ST page and i neva hear 1 VN sad
On the very first post, there's a link to all the VNs!

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