₦airaland Forum

olasaad:
Start by attending ward meeting. Don't join opposition ooo.

what do you mean by ward meetings and how do I go about it?..

so we should fry crayfish or what...
who Ghana EPP
you should be looking for a way to help your country grow not degrade it...
they beauty of a nation is not determined by they amount of infrastructure in they nation but they mind of they people...
without it they nation would just be another wild life apartment

me and nnamdi KANU who do you like they most ?..

I want to join they Nigerian political system in my 20's , but I don't know a thing about how to join they political parties or how to start ..

nice

so na traffic dey disturb you so

my man I like they way you eye is from functioning keep it up..

I like they way your head is moving

I think mean all over they world should come together and agree under one umbrella that we should stop putting unnecessary pressure on they breast by simply emaciating it with our hands and mouth plus teeth...

women should do the same make sure you breastfeed your babies

oya na how much is it..

something is wrong somewhere I think davidos rivals and co have a hand in this .
They are trying to frame him if he doesn't take time he might go to jail for crimes he may have not commit.

.

something is wrong somewhere I think davidos rivals and co have a hand in this .
They are truing to frame him if he doesn't take time he might go to jail for they crime he did not commit

she have not even start menstruating self

Attorney: Are you sexually active? Witness : No, I just lie there.
Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

Witness : Yes. Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness : I forget..
Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _______
witness: ....

Attorney: What is your date of birth?

Witness : July 18th.

Attorney: Which year?

Witness : Every year.

---

Attorney: What is your date of birth?

Witness : July 18th.

Attorney: Which year?

Witness : Every year.

________________________
Attorney: How old is your son, the one living with you?

Witness : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Attorney: How long has he lived with you?

Witness : Forty-five years.

Funny words that were said in they court that were recorded by they court recorders

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

Witness : He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

Attorney: And why did that upset you?

Witness : My name is Susan!

[hr /]

What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

Witness : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

[hr /]

A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
The bartender looks confused but gives him another beer.
This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?"
The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

Shout out to all they "wannabe" priest into they house


School students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those

teachings:
Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs:
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your Robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"

emerald2014:
can't even understand anything in d second joke d first one is even beta

That's why its called they strange dream
even I myself found it hard understanding anything but I later understood that he was a pick pocket in they dream and simultaneously he was dreaming..

.

This one Got me laughing in African style.


Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it has made a big difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of that clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?

This one got me laughing hard

-I was advised by a fellow speaker, many years my senior, to practice my Spanish. And here’s why: We all know that Heart Disease is the #1 cause of death in the U.S. But think hard about this:
In Japan, they’ve got a diet that is low in fat and they have less heart disease than the US. While in France, the diet is very high in fat, and they also have less heart disease than in the US.
In China, almost nobody drinks red wine and the heart disease rate is lower than in the US. But in Spain, everybody drinks too much red wine and sure enough they have less heart disease than the US.
Algeria has the lowest sexual activity rate, and they’ve got less heart disease than in the US. But Brazil has the highest sexual activity rate and sure enough…the heart disease ratio is lower than in the US.
His sage wisdom to me? Drink, eat and make merry all you want. It’s speaking English that kills you.

When your boss is very Democratic..

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini.
I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"
He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".

One strange dream

When you meet a white person and they give you 10Naira to buy pure(sachet) water for them.
throw in this line:

"If you think you can think what I am thinking then you should start thinking another thought because because my thinking space is not telepathic,but if you want to think what I am thinking you should think that your thought should take back they 10 naira into your pocket and you should think that you gave me 10 dollars and your fore limb should think of me as they donor
and i should think that you gave me they dollar and my pocket should think they have it on it two walls".

I tried it and it worked they man just dashed me 50 dollars am not thinking...
he really thinks he gave me they fifty dollars and I think he gave me they fifty dollars
my pocket is thinking that they fifty dollar is not with me, they 50 dollars Is thinking that it is in they white mans pocket and his pocket is thinking that they wallet is Gone
and they chicken is thinking that I am thinking that I will buy them tonight
and my bed is thinking that I am thinking when am I going to wake up.

Hey guys was surfing they net saw some costly jokes and decided to drop them here..



Difference between B. Tech, M.Tech,PhD and Prof.
A Professor once made a statement in class:
Prof : Let me tell you the differences between B.Tech, M.Tech and PhD
If you think you know everything, then you will get B. Tech.
If you begin to doubt that you know anything at all, then you will get M. Tech.
If you are convinced that you don't know anything and you are also convinced that others also don't know anything you will get a PhD.
If you are convinced that you don't know anything and you are also convinced that others also don't know anything and more importantly if you are convinced that in your lifetime nobody can figure out that, then you become a Prof.
A serious student raises his hand and asks,
Student : Sir, I am fully convinced that I don't know anything, then why i am registered for M. Tech. I should get PhD?
Sir : But you still think that I know.

drop your number for WhatsApp group chat in order to be more updated... for Federal university of technology minna

Burning Bibles is openly witnessed in Uganda

1-Adultery is allowed in South Africa,
Man or woman no longer has the right to repudiate
the other because of adultery


2-The United States confirmed that for all countries in the
world to build good relations with the great power, these countries must practice
homosexual marriage (woman + woman = 1 or
Man + man = 1).


3. Germany had just signed the law which declares
that there is no more incest, that is to say: Brother and
Sisters can get married, Mum with her son and
Dad with his daughter ..


4-The City of Miami is now proclaiming a City of public sex which means that on the road, church, market, football field etc if you need sex you can have it en route
without having any problem.

5-Canada allows bestiality (sex with Animals) In Spain: pornographic films are allowed in high school and universities.
6- The authorization of the prostitution of minors,
Marg Luker declares that any young girl at the age of 10 feels sexual pleasure and
no one should defend that person from discovering how her body works.

7- Finally, the US has opened the church of satanic publicly. Dear brothers and sisters, the end is near, the departure in the Glory approach.

The Lord Jesus is coming soon! MARANATHA
Christians are being distracted, and the devil wants to take maximum number of souls with him in order to stop them from divine mercy.
If you have a minute ... share this message.
  Why do we sleep in church but stay awake in the bars?
       Why is it so hard to talk about God but so easy to make gossip?
       Why is it so easy to ignore God's msg but to send back dirty easy messages?
       Will you send this message to your friends or will you ignore it? Jesus said, "If you deny me before your friends, I will deny you before my father."
         If you love Jesus send this message to your best friends in 60 sec.
    God bless you. Amen!!!

ePrive:
So, the problem started after you upgraded to window 7 ultimate.

And I hope you're still with the older ram which the guy changed for you.
.
I'll say....you should format the system.

If you're in Port Harcourt...I'll help you out....for free.

Again...was the flash drive incident the first issue you noticed....after the upgrade ?

no some parts of they keyboard stopped working to..
am not in port Harcourt , I live in Kaduna..
how do I format they system?..

I inserted a flash drive into my system immediately my system froze up I tried reviving it to no avail ...
I pulled out they batteries ..
it went off tried to start it up again It doesn't want to boot just a bleeping white light on they cap lock and at they disk side of they system...
it doesn't want to boot at all at all
I use HP 650 pavilion maxi

running on 2gb RAM with 32 bit processor though it was previously running on 64bit ...
I gave it to a guy who repairs computer to upgrade it to window 7 ultimate
it was previously running on window 7 home premium
that's 64bit processor...
am regretting it though...


I am losing money I have taken it to same guy to fix they problem .
he told me it was they RAM that was consumed

he changed they ram ..
still no improvement ... no light on they screen
OK he then told me that it was they processor...
am so confused guys help me out..

am still a fresher at Corel draw which I cherish and this problem stagnated everything...

Help! Help!! Help!!!