₦airaland Forum

once again i have come to give you an update on my situation,i thank you once more again,
1 i have spared no expenses on buying books for her .
2 we now intend to move into the same room again,let me confess why i had really stopped sleeping with her i didnt want another pregrancy if you catch my drift,i had wanted that child to be the only child we would ever have but i have begged GOD for forgiveness and also my wifes forgiveness
3 i am now trying with and with prayers too that i dont give up or take my life i belive i can make it with my wife.
4 ONCE AGAIN I THANK U ALL

@pinkielove what do u mean by saying i am breaking my marriage vows and that i lied in the prensence of GOD sometimes i just wonder,so it is a crime for one to express his real feelings this is one of the hyporicy going on the church today i have read the bible over and over again and i have come to see that GOD valueshonest and true worship than all these hoiler than thou attitude we put up in church and that he is a GOD of love and liberty and not of bondagethere are many people in my position today but who are too afraid to speak up because of people like you, for your information i respect the marriage insitution and that is why i came out for help instead of decieving myself and lying to my myself and i thank GOD i did that

when i posted this issue of mine i never knew it would get so much responses,you guys are simply great,it shows that people still care,i cant say how greatfull i am to you all,u have all really given me hope ,i am so happy i posted my problem i would never have gotten the advises i got here in a million years for this i say thank u once again.
i have started applying some of the advises i got here,i am beginging to free my mind towards her i even bought a book somehere suggested and man that book is really helping me out,let me outline some of the steps i have taken so far
1 i have decided to pray harder to GOD over the issue
2 i have started encouraging her to further her education and to this extent i have bought her a lot of books and i noticed she is so happy over the idea
3 i bought her a pc and she has started learning it
4 for the first time since we married i forced myself to call her (my darling)she was so shocked it brought tears to my eyes even
5i am begining to introduce her to all my educated friends and
discouraging her association with her less educated friends cos as someone suggested i want to push her out of her comfort zone thereby challenging her to improve herself
6 I have stop trying to compare her to my friends wives and most especially to the girl i had really wanted to marry
7 i have decided to let go of all deep resentments i had for her and even for my church,and most of all forgive myself and move on with life.
8 I have stopped wishing for the wife i never i had and make do and improve the wife i have
9 for now we still sleep in seperate rooms though but i belive soon that will change
10 And above all though i still dont feel anything much towards her but i am ready to work at it and belive in it till it becomes real,this is my prayer for now.and please to all single men in the house lease dont make the mistake i made of sleeping with a woman skin tio skin like i did if u dont have intention of marrying u never can tell,once again THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL

wow what can i say,i have time taken time to really go through all the responses to my situation and i must say i am really overwhelmed,infact i have gone through some more than five times and many of you have given me hope to go on with life(you may not understand this)you have given me a reason to hope for love in my heart for my wife and i just pray this will happen ,you people are wonderfull ,infact many of the comments i saw here has made  look at the whole thing again,please permit to reply some of the comments raised here
@chaircover i am not having an affair outside my marriage 4 now,i value the the marriage insittution and that s why despite my feelings i make sure i provide for her as i make sure she lacks nothing materially
@rasputin thank you so much,may GOD BLESS YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFULL ADVISE
@allycat u understand perfectly what i am going through@sam milla what can i say?u are a lord sent@michelin89 the question u raised about our relationship b4 we married,yes i was sleeping with her i will not deny that ,but we both knew i wasnt ready for marriage yet cos i was always drumming this into her  but then i should have known better @sonye,ehie007,confilass,don paulo,gew,hackney,fphemmy,osisi and so many others thank u all so much 4 the blunt advises,u have saved a life.among the responses someone said i have a wicked heart i have been pondering over this statment i mean can one be wicked without knowing it?i dont belive i have a wicked heart ,in what sense? and one thing that  is really affecting me is her educationall level i cant hold an intelligent conversation with my wife  on topics like politics ,economics etc and this makes me really sad,i mean i have to explain to my wife what house of reps or the senate means or how to even use the internet i love to have a an intelectual relationship with my wife but i cant and this always brings tears to me   but then as some of you has said i will try and enroll her into school again if that will work.
ONCE AGAIN I THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART,MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL

i used to think that love didnt matter so much in marriage but i have been proven wrong,u see i married my wife out of unpleasant conditions,she got pregrant for me and everybody was on my neck to marry her that i couldnt leave her in that state,my pastor too was on my neck to marry her,so under the pressure i got married to her and we had a blessing of marriage in the church,that day was so super a lot of peolple were so happy for us but deep down in me i knew i didnt love this woman but then could i leave her in that condition?what if another man does the same thing to my sister how would i feel?and besides i discoverd the woman loved me and i was told that with time i would come to love to her,and so i made the biggest mistake of my life and married her.
Ever since we have been married i have been a good husband to her but our marriage has been a show ,cos at home we sleep in different rooms,for about 6 mths now i have not made love with her cos i cant just dont have any desire for her anymore.i thought with time i would come to love her but the reverse has been the case,in fairness to her she has been a good wife to me but i cant do romantic things with her cos i dont love her at all and i sometimes i see her crying bitterly 4 me to love her and tried as much as i can i still dont feel anything for her i only feel a sense of responsiblty 4 her so i dont joke with her wellfare,many couples outside look up to us,some even come to us for advise (if only they knew)i am dying inside slowly,i am trapped in a loveless marriage,pls someone out there what do i do and as christains divorce is out of the issue i am so confused

Lets us not get carried away by sentiments on this issue,nobody can dispute the fact that ribadu did a very good job at the EFCC at least he succeeded in putting the fear of GOD into many corrupt leaders and even had the courage to go after some big fishes,for this he will always be rememebered no matter what.
we all know he was removed by the corrupt powers that be,but like i like i said i love reasoning things based on facts and not sentiments,ribadu like other human beings made some mistakes,he carried out selective justices(i dont buy the idea for one day that we can fight corruption one sideded,i say no,nigeria will fight ALL,I REPEAT ALL corrupt leaders whereever they may be,those in power and those out of power)
What we should be concered as nigerians is to find out why ribadus were tied and by whom
SELECTIVE JUSTICE IS EQUAL TO INJUSTICE

@afam what is your point ?are you saying people who express anything contary to you are fools?sometimes i just wonder the way we reason in nigeria,when people dont agree with our point of views we resort to labelling them with negative terms,in democracy there is freedom of speech not because we want but its there to safeguard the society.
some people felt ribadu did a good job while some othersfeels that he was partial in his duties,end of story.for you to now to conclude that those who say he was partial will be criminals when they get to power is to say the least very sad

This is why i always say that double standards are never good for any society,i want to belive ribadus hands were tied by OBJ but then he could have stepped down from the job and tOLD obj to go to hell and today his respect would have been unquestionable,but then he remained there doing the bidding of his master who used him for his own selfish agenda.

it is all a smoke screen trust me,do you think the western world dont know how to stop this corruption in naija if they really wanted to,let me tell you a secret,the corruption among leaders in nigeria favors them the western world,ribadu himself knows this and even said so during his days in power at EFCC,right now he is just fooling himself

much as much as i love to support ribadu i wont do it,you see one big problem who have in nigeria is doublestandards by our public officals,it is everywhere you go,go into any government office today and you will understand what i mean,why didnt ribadu ask obasanjo anything,why was he only against a selected group?

haba haba does real love dont exist anymore in nigeria? look babygirl follow ur heart,i belive he will come back to you,many people dont and have never tasted real love,so go after ur heart baby

;Dhmm another yeye nollywood story

@eddy97 that is so true

just pick up his things and move move on with life,deportation is not the end of life

yes many countries in europe doesnt belive in our degrees,most times you have to harmonise your degrees with theirs by writing their own exams,in my own case it was really tough mostly because of the language(spainish)i had to learn spainish very well to fit into their educational system,when i got here i was like an illterate,infact at a stage i almost went mad but with sheer determination i sat for many of their professional exams and passed but my sister it wasnt easy,so i would advise you to travel to uk or usa as these countries alredy speak english so u wouldnt face what i faced in spain o.cheers

is this love 4 real abi na joke

@tombola no blame me na the way wey you take ask the question na im make me attack you,come to think of it,i have seen many rich and powerfull nigerians who tell you that naija is the best country bla bla and yet all their children are all attending schools in america

@tombola i beg sharrrap,which kind yeye posing question be dat?if dem give you u no go take am even say na dangote born you,yeye

what!kaikai stop them from coming to your house,this is no time to for sentiments,you are talking about the future of your child o,to hell with feelings

wow when i sent in my post i never knew it would generate this much attention,i have even recieved phonecalls over this issue
i thank you all very much for your responses.i came to this forum out of desperation for help,right now i dont know if i was right n doing that but i did it out of desperation,.and i wish to delete this thread.as for the problem i had it has been resolved,@serin you asked why i didnt meet people i knew for help b4 coming on online,if only you knew,@collins please i understand your feelings but please rest over this matter as we disussed you cant blame obrien at all,he has done nothing wrong,@obrien please rest over this matter.
here is my address,i would gladly wecome anyone who wishes to visit me .
no 26,4iz,alejandro sanhez,murcia

you guys are not answering my question,i said "na who dey happy pass for marriage" let us stick to the thread please,i did not ask about handgloves being worn on marriage day

it is me the first poster,i thank you all for all your responses,like i said before i am more than ready to send all my data once contacted by anyone but posting my data on an open site you would agree with me is a very big risk,please anyone who want to help me should email me and i will send everything to his or her email including my picture,resdence no,present address both here in europe and in nigeria.
once again this is my email martinsabel18@yahoo.com and my phone no is 0034686392712. thanks

gee!thanks, here is my account number,20385754643000794326 CAJAMADRID
for the caller from barcelona yesterday,i thank you so much,may you blessed in all that you put your hand.

wow,what a real complication,look collins it is hard to advise in such things as this,one i cant say you should divorce your wife but at the same time you dont love her,maybe you shouldnt have married her in the first place,there are many desperate girls here in europe looking for a man to trap and she got to you,my guy you are trapped o.
all da same even if you leave your wife now,you would still regret it,so find a way to live with her cos if she was good to Bleep then she is good to marry
forget frankkky advice,cos if you go to naija now and meet maria ,i swear my guy she go get belle one time for you by that time you don marry two wives be that o.
i wonder why maria sef wait that long,i really wonder

Greetings to you all,i am a nigerian living legally here in spain,i lost my job more than 10 months ago,i am still searching for another one but because of this present economic reccesion it has not been easy but i belive one day i will get one in jesus name,why i have written this appeal for help is because of the following.
1i need to travel home to naija to see my sick mother urgently and problem is i cant afford the return ticket home,it cost about 700 to 800 euros
2.i know how things are with us here,i am talking of us nigerians living in europe,usa and canada,but please if there is anyhelp you can render me towards my buying the ticket,i will be more than greatfull,when i get back on my feet i am more than ready to work and pay back.
3.i know i cannot get the whole money from one person,if i can just get 20euros each from 50 kindhearted nigerians i will be able to afford a ticket home.
please i am pleading seriously,help me fulfill this dream of going to see my mother.
my phone no is 0034660756696 and my email is martinsabel18@yahoo.com.
i am ready to give all my details once contacted.GOD bless as you consider me as i know it is not easy at all