₦airaland Forum

bunmioguns: My Love. . .happy Gewd Friday

Same to u o! Ha fa...e don tay wey u wake up? Cos u'r not yawning!

Come to think of it....u peeps are not even posting threats u'v heard...don't tell me u were all perfect and surrounded by perfect pipo as kids??

nikkygal: Congrats Gen.Buhari!

I agree with Rocksqueen, please share with us the details and what you think you did differently to achieve the bfp.

Lol@ Rocksqueen not wanting to DTD during 2WWW, I don't think it hurts implantation in any way. . . . .but that's my opinion sha! You can also confirm from others . . .

I agree with you on not doing the Massage now. From what i've heard, the best time to do the massage is at the beginning of your cycle. . . during your period So i'll advise you to wait, you can't afford to disrupt that 'area' now oh!. . . . lol!

Sprinkling baby dust to all of us and may we all get our bfp soon. . . . .

Thot that was d essence of the wait for sum1 that is ttc...as in avoiding anytin dat would cause a vibration of the uterus e.g. Orgasm, lifting heavy items, extreme sports and exercise (which exercise would be worse than hitting the uterus during bd),etc
Anyway am taking ur advice bout the massage...will go early next cycle.

Mcnepow: 'Swtchigurl dearie, IF I SLLLLLAP YOU.....you will beg him to remove your hug from his bory and return it to you!!!'

mcnepow: . . . . . .

This is what they call 'loud silence'! Lolzzzzz...lwkmd!

dani1luv: River get bank?

The land wey dey both sides of the river naim be the bank of the river.

swtchicgurl: singing *sombori jealous me, somebori jealous me, sombori jealous me, because of my ikebe*

Here we go again...the dogs shall soon start barking!! I have come to the conclusion that you are trying to murd mncepow via high blood pressure....kai!

~vicky~:
*coughing*

mncepow must hear dis

*coughing alongside vicky* Hope you are not 'finding' trouble Mr Olawalebab? Wallahi swtchigurl can make her man to kill somebory on Nairaland....

Henjosh: [color=#990000][/color]if i slap u, u'll be seeing corpse without pant

That is ehn!! The taking off would not have mate!

NEGOZI: Hello ladies,

last week i wrote on how i did an ecographical diagnosis after having cramp blood for three days during ovulation. The test reads that i have fibroid infact 3 . 2 surrounding the womb and 1 at the centreof the womb were foetust suppose to take in. I and my hubby consulted about three gynacologists who also confirm so but advice us not to undergo surgery that i have about 80% of getting pregnancy. That if a surgery is done that means it needs the womb to be removed totally hence no child. but it can be removed along childbirth since there is a child.hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what a terrible situation.

Awwwwwwww!!! Sorry bout the results. Firstly, hope you have stopped clomid as it may increase the size. Secondly, there is nothing God cannot do. While you are getting second opinions and advice, please drop on your knees and start praying daily. Fast a lot and drink plenty of water.....as in atleast 3 big Eva Bottles a day. I would also advice that you stop eating agege bread and all cos a friend of mine was advised to stop it when her fibroid was discovered. They even asked her to stop dairy products, okro soup, Starchy foods etc... Please get a second opinion dear.

I wish I could say much on authority but am not a doctor...Just try and eat healthy, lots of fruits and vegetables. Try taking a small glass of Aloe Vera (try the yellow bottle from Forever Living) first thing in the morning before food. If possible take it very early then do not eat till much later. Cos I heard it expels unwanted stuff. There is hope! Fibroid has been known to come out with the baby during childbirth.You can overcome this challenge with God on your side!!!

GenBuhari: @ RocksQueen,
What about the no underwear suggestion?

Lol! We're already doing that cos DH likes the 'freedom' (giggles!)

@bunmioguns. Why are u highlighting the 'my love' na? There was a 'cockroach' and a 'mouth' in that sentence too o!Nice joke though..

@swtchigurl. Tnx hon

@Vivly. Hope u have a strong stomach? Cos when I see the way they tear up the human body....uhggggg!!!(shiverrrr)

@olawalebab. Brother Olawalebab, I have a feeling that u think everyone knows ur FB page....WELL I DON'T!,U'R NOT THAT POPULAR! And I didn't copy dis from anywhere so stop tryna claim ownership!

Still on insults...'Road Rage Insults'
Everyone must have experienced it one time or the other.

Here are some...

'You dey stroll for mainroad abi...(ZOOOOMMM)....shuo why you dey run comot for road?You for still dey there dey stroll na,whether I no for jam those your thin legs...u dey crase!!!'

'Your father!'

'Dem no born you well!'

'Take!(Fingers facing outward and widespread)'

'Waka!(With five fingers)'

'You dey Crase!'

'Mad man!'

'Na woman?no wonder she dey drive rubbish!'

'Na by force to drive moto?'

'My friend move ur car,why are u driving it as if its a tanker?'

Etc

bunmioguns: just waking up . . . .*yawning loudly*

Lol! Bunmioguns my love,you beta not let that cockroach enter ya mouth o! Cos you seem to yawn a lot. Oya post one joke that will leave everyone in stitches...can you?

@GenBuhari. Lol! Nice ones...will adopt some of that

DH used to take Wellman and he stopped, will encourage him to restart....

The Urinate-b4-BD-thing, nice idea!

The run home-to-enjoy-life, we wish!

The timing-expulsion-when-deep thing Now how the hell do I suggest that to DH?? ROTFL

Thanks so much for the pointers though and congrats once again!

realsammie: nw dats beta.. well done

Lol! U no see urself?Just wanted to tell u I can post jokes. So that's what u want but don't forget dis...jokes,funny threats,not same thing!!
Am asking for funny threats u heard growing up. Or did no adult threaten anyone around u den?

More

'If I blow u,u'll use ya tongue to count ya teeth!

'If I catch you!You will beg God to save you!'

'By the time I finish beating u,ur own mother won't recognise you!'

'My friend shut ur smelling mouth before I shut it permanently for you'

'Where are you running to?If u don't come back here before the count of three,I'll kill you den kill myself!'

'Do I blame you? See ur head like you father's head!Continue talking till I reach there whether u'l not regret the day u were born!'

'If I don't kill u today, den u'l know that am not the one that carried u for nine months!'

Etc

realsammie: if i slap u....u will post beta jokes

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's bedside table. He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he asks nervously.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad? Your brother? Your cousin?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, and no. You're so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.
"Well, who the hell is he, then?" he demands.
She whispers in his ear, "That's me, before the surgery"

A Mother-in-law was quarreling with her Daughter-in-law and as usual it came down to who the guy(son and husband) would listen to.
Mother-in-Law: "I carried him for 9 months, so you'd better........ "
Daughter-In-Law retorts:,"SO WHAT?He was ONLY 3.5KG then wasn't he?"..
For your information, I CARRY HIM EVERY NIGHT AND HE IS 89 KGS NOW! So whats the Big deal

A married man died before having s.ex with his wife.
The wife then cut his di.ck and fixed it on the wall.
Each night she went to the wall to satisfy herself.
One day her neighbor found out! Then he made a hole in d wall, removed d man's di.ck and put his di.ck through the hole waiting for the lady.
Suddenly the lady came with a knife, cut the di.ck and said "darling we are moving to a new house"

Yemmyc: If i slap u. . . . .u wil leave nairaland.

If I give u upper cut, u'll find urself inside nextweek!

Growing up, I can't count the number of times I heard funny threats like 'if I slap you.....(followed by a variety of phrases).....'

As a matter of fact, some were preposterous while others were downright funny!!

E.g.
If I slap you, you will use your legs to hold your ears!

If I slap you, you will pack your ears from the floor!

If I slap you, you will see my handprint in your dream!

If I slap you, you will forget your name!

If I slap you, you will run for three days!

If I dash you slap eh?.....my friend disappear from here!


If I slap you, you will cry from now till tomorrow!

Etc
I remembered this cos I just heard someone say to her kid 'if I slap you,even heaven will reject you!!!' Am like, WTF Lol!
Anyone else heard funny threats?

Congrats GenBuhari
I am so so happy for you!
This is great news indeed!
Pls do share the journey and what u did differently b4 the bfp...
It will happen for us all this year too...Amen!
Meanwhile we hope u'l not abandon us here o?Pls always check on us ladies...u know how u are sure to appear whenever spammers try to take over our thread?Well we'll all miss dat if u disapper completely o!
Anyway all the best and happy 40wks to her.
@Info,Amen! But na so e be?U no know say u suppose come share testimony for here make pipo faith strengthen?!!!Anyway we wish u and wifey safe delivery too!


@champ..ryt there with u.Am supposed to massage dis comin weekend but am worried that if implantation is going on,it may shake tins!Am really considering waiting a bit...

@all Pls what kind of scan will show if implantation is taking place? Cos am thinking bout doing that b4 I go for the massage. Moreson if am sure of implantation,I can also convince DH to follow me do the 2ww cos sumtyms na dat tym the bd dey hunger us pass(TMI?)....And even if am tryna wait,I can't keep telling him to wait too, cos that makes it so glaring that we're ttcing, puts us under unnecessary pressure and makes the disappointment all the more glaring after AF comes(una dey see temptation?)....

zaliya: Mummy they said we should bring our Pastorfonogram (Passport photograph)

LMAO hahahahahahaahahahaha!

champs: Thanks for the words of encouragement,I will definitely slow down now and allow my body to prepare for pregnancy.

@camrygmail,you are in my prayers,lots of baby dust your way.

@champs.Was it a massage and was it painful?Am going for a massage next week and am scared a bit!
I know how u feel cos at a point I was ready to take any 'agbo' that would work. Even now am taking aloe vera to cleanse my system...atleast till I ovulate! A colleague took it for 3 months and she's preggy now!
Anyway,may the good Lord not let us take anytin to make our journey longer!Be prayerful in all of this.I confess on ur behalf that you will come here soon to declare your blessings. Baby dust all around!

@all. I'll be goin for the massage next week but may not take their drugs cos I just wanna correct my retroverted (tilted) uterus...

@Champs, (((((HUG))))) So sorry she got you too! Love your positive attitude, keep it up and goodluck this cycle.

champs: This new nairaland interface suck,Seun restore it back to the old and simple style. Thanks RocksQueen, I will start POAS from on Sunday ,can't wait till 14DPO. Hope you will not need the massages,cos you are going to get your BFP before Easter. AF please go away from us we don't need you near us for the next 9months. Baby dust everywhere.

Lol. I used to be a POAS addict but got cured by frustration

Thanks for your well wishes but i guess am gonna need the massage afterall cos the bloody witch reared her head early this morning

i dont understand o! shebi no bi to click the symbols and they get added? whats with repeating my post

@july16th:Welcome on board! I did the exact same thing as you when I first discovered this thread. I wish you post your happy story soon

@Champs FX for you hon!! You will testify soon..

@all am done with the Forever Living Cleanse...not feeling much of a difference though i didnt follow it strictly...

Anyway, a friend has introduced me to a lady that massages women who are TTCing...I'll check it out by Easter if AF rears her ugly head this month (stupid witch!).

Sprinkling baby dust all around...........

I will see my children and my children's children! My home will be filled with sounds of laughter and the patter of little feet by this tym next year! This year, I shall be admitted into a hospital where my baby(ies) will be delivered!I will have as many kids as I want,because He that promised to give us what we ask does not lie!!!
AMEN!

@eff7-9, Dey say it doesn't affect conception, I think it may contribute somehow. I heard from the 'local grapevine' that they can massage it to the ryt position, I wanted to try dem but dey say its painful and I don't need dat for now. But I also read that rear entry is better for it.

@MSTIA. Awwww!! (((((HUG))))

@Toronto123. Hi and Tnx! Does one need a doctor's prescription for soy?
By the way, its possible ur friend is trying diff methods but doesn't want to tell u she is trying!!! A lot of us ttcers say 'God's time' cos we don't wanna talk about our efforts,failures and re-tries. Believe I would rather tell my efforts to a ttcer I just met, dan to my close friend who is having babies without even trying.

@ All tnx for the warm welcome, I pray that the Lord will answer all our prayers soon.
I don't even want to count CDdays this month, (who am I kidding,one week to AF and I start adding fasting to my prayers. Lol)
The two week wait is the worst tym ever! Den my body starts sending me symptoms of pregnancy! Yeye dey smell!Mscheuwwww!
By the way, I heard about killer cells and how the carriers hardly fall ill! The last tym I was really ill was 2003 and my genotype is AA,

@champs. Amen! Yes it gets tiring. I had a colleague who told us she was preggy and later she said she lost it! Every1 stopped the questions after that, Recently when encouraging me,she confessed that she never took in. That she was tired of telling people 'work in progress' after 2yrs of marriage.