Gaggi:
Don't blame the poor man abeg. You want to overcome your fears? Get a baseball bat, go into the dark without any light. Visualize any ghosts or spirit jumping out from the shadows, tell yourself you are ready for a fight. Do this three separate days and you'll realize there is nothing to fear about the dark. This should cure your phobia. Case closed.

Really? Would this really work or are you pulling my legs?

ogawisdom:


Hmmm hw old are you? Do u pray @ all? Fear is the work of devil

I do pray. Even to go into the hallway to use the restroom with full lights on takes so much courage at night.

MrOreo:

My thoughts exactly, maybe the man has been cuddling her for the past 5yrs, the guy don taya, needs his own breathing space...
And I'm almost certain she won't only want him on the bed, but body contact MUST be involved too for her to really feel safe.
Am I right safiya?

I am alright once he's just there in the room. I only move into his arms to cuddle wen I hv nightmares or I open my eyes n the place is dark

Jammiiee:
Try play solemn music, blues, u don't av to loud it, just at optimum decibels for u to sleep on. Or I guess u r not a music person, u don't love music? See, don't even try to go find sleep in another house, u r gradually loosing ur home by doing dt. Face the problem and tackle it. Av a feeling ur fear factor is enormous, even with ur husband fully awake in the living room. Try the option of a very good counsel also. I dnt wana apportion blames.

I love music. But not to sleep with.

Austin234:
Madam, no offense intended, did u @ any time committed any serious offense, like abortion or murder? Check ur conscience. U should face the phobia squarely. Ur hubby may not be cause. Learn to face the world alone

I have never killed anyone o, chai. Hv tried to ignore it too. But that doesn't work either. Am so tired of begging n apologising even when am not wrong, just so I can hv some one to sleep with me in the room at night

Jammiiee:
When he is on the verge of making love with u, talk to him romantically about ur worries, he will listen. U should knw the way u get him to listen to u. He needs to help u out as well, though nt by sleeping by u every night but to find a lasting solution to ur phobia

OK I ll try this. Thanks.

Sanchez01:

Phobia knows no age. We all have one or more phobias we battle with.

OP, it has nothing to do with the horror movie. As a matter of fact, the movie you watched only triggered the phobia. You should see a psychologist and also speak to a medical doctor. Quite frankly, your husband does not understand that you're suffering from Somniphobia. I suggest you ask him to go with you to see a medical doctor to ascertain the status of your health. That way, he would understand the gravity of what you're battling with. It's quite surprising he didn't know this before you guys got married.

I never knew what I am going through even has a name. I would hv Google d it since. He knew before we got married but he simply doesn't understand how a 29year old cant sleep alone. I don't know how to explain to him again. Oh Lord

Cornerstone2020:
You better face your problem now and deal with it. I would have suggested that you get television for the room but that won't be the ultimate solution .Even if your husband listens now he may have to use that weakness whenever there is an issue btw you guys.
You must learn to sleep alone.

He already does!. Infact when I was little, I always settle any quarrel between myself and any of my sibblings n even in school my colleagues at least before 6pm! Just because I didn't want to be alone at night. Whether I was at fault or not it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I not be left alone at night.

sisisioge:
Biko, buy a TV for the room.


Then, try to stop being afraid. Just try. Don't be surprised that in the not so distant future, your darling husband will treat a lot of your forkups by simply refusing to sleep in the same room or entirely leaving you alone in the WHOLE house! I bet you would go crazy. Just relax and lose this phobia... Nothing will kill you when you sleep alone. This is me who doesn't watch horror movies advising you dearie. A horror head once came out of our TV and a ghost once chased me on the dark starcase(if you too like say na lie , I know what I saw), the thing is, I still go about my business normally but just avoid the horror movies like a plague ni.


May God bless your marriage.

BTW, didn't you hear you ain't supposed to marry a TV, football or video games addict? Oh, a non cuddler is a no-no too! Whew, you don marry this one sha...No signing out for you. Na manage you go manage. Good luck.

Thanks so much. God knows hv tried so much. Sometimes even when I pray I am scared of closing my eyes except he s in the room, scared that the demons I am casting will just appear in my front! Chai Jesus!

winetapper:
If Mohammed doesn't go the the mountain, the mountains will surely go to him.
Get a TV in the bedroom.
When he comes hide the remote.
Make him know there is TV in the room
Hug him when you sleep
He will gradually get used to it.


Hope you are not the type that wear lab coat or tie wrapper to sleep

Nooo I don't even like long clothes at night cos am always hot. Sometimes he comes in to cuddle from behind, make love then goes right back to TV!

Fuqman:
You need to distract yourself with something interesting. . E.g Internet forums, Tv set or start listening to radio, not just music but listen to the constant blabbering of the radio jockeys. Trust me, within just few days you will totally overcome this fear. This fear is usually caused out of utter silence in the night, break the silence, break the fear. Be brave.

Have tried this too. But once I begin to fall asleep I constantly jump up, like am trying to stay conscious n I don't want something to catch me. Infact there was a time I couldn't even close my eyes to wash my face when bathing cos i was so convinced SOMETHING will appear when I open them again.

nelson7777:
beautiful Ur problem to me sounds psychological, y, because u actually knw d source (scary movie),
I dnt wanna judge neither u nor Ur husband bt it sounds to me like u didn't marry Ur friend, I knw his Ur husband bt lets look past Ur problems Nw n go to Ur relationship, b a friend to Ur husband, most importantly ask about his day, eat in d same plate with him, sometimes go watch DAT TV with him sitting on d same chair whether he likes it or nt, play ludo or card with him jst b a friend to him n he will always wanna b around you even wen u sleep, 4get all this u always HV to sleep on d bed, wen u r Nw friends with him u guys can crash anywhere in d parlour, kitchen even in toilet (lol),
back to Ur problem is very simple
get a small dog it will offer u everything u r looking 4 which is companionship, friendship, security, e.t.c.
also Ur room sounds boring try n get a sound system DAT will b playing u blues every night even in Ur dream all u will b hearing is Colin Dion's voice ....

I like to sleep when there's quiet.if music is on I can't sleep. Thanks so much for the friend part. Actually I do all with him.bt he still addicted n to make it worse BIG Brother Naija is showing!

Ahmed0336:
How long have you been married? If you are blessed with kid/s why not sleep with them instead?

We have a little son. But he s too little to make me feel am safe even when he s in the room with me

Jjj

I have been a guest for so long on nairaland but decided to register because of this problem.

I have always been afraid of sleeping alone in a room except there is someone sleeping there with me. Even my secondary and tertiary days I had colleagues sleeping on my bed with me because of this phobia.

This was due to some horror movies we used to watch as children at night especially when dad travelled. I was scared of watching but couldn't stay in the room alone while my sibblings were watching with loud volume.

Fast forward to this time I am married, so many times I have pleaded with my husband not to leave me alone in the room but he loves sleeping in the parlour just because of television.

He works and comes home past 8 pm and just refuses to leave the sitting room because he wants to watch what he missed during the day. Most times he sleeps there. Countless times after tossing up and down , I go and wake him up to come sleep. Sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn't. The only time he sleeps in the room is when wants to have sex and after that many times, he goes back to TV.

Note that I keep my house spotlessly clean infact I am a neatness freak, so it's not because of untidiness. I have tried to use dialogue told him severally that if I wanted to be sleeping alone I wouldn't hv gotten married. Still no improvement.

Now it's affecting my health severely because I now suffer harsh migraines and my heakth is failing due to the fact that i only get to sleep around 4 am when my eyes are too tired to be afraid.

At a point i started taking matress to the sitting room to sleep , but the sound of the TV doesnt help. In addition he leaves the lights on without being security conscious of the night.

I am seriously contemplating leaving him to go to my family house so that I can get some healthy sleep time, as I don't know what else to do. In addition we agreed that no one should come leave with us.

I need mature advice. He is the type at NEVER Listens. Dialogue hardly works, nagging him is the worst. Please advice