Madam, no offense intended, did u @ any time committed any serious offense, like abortion or murder? Check ur conscience. U should face the phobia squarely. Ur hubby may not be cause. Learn to face the world alone

But why are u ladies scared of sleeping alone I think u need to revisit the issue. Get rid of it now before it matures and resurfaces later. Because believe you me, sooner or later, you will have cause to sleep alone.what in that room. Perhaps when he travels, some functions, work etc. So try get rid of it asap.

Abiagirl777:
mine does that too cos he likes to sleep with the TV on but I didn't want that in the bedroom so he opted for the sitting room and suddenly I found it so fearful to sleep alone.what did I do ? I nagged,I cried(he hates it),I went to sleep with him it didn't work
presently,immediately he sleeps off in the sitting room,I switch it off and hides the remote.he'd wake at intervals to on and ofcourse I off it too.very soon he got tired and started coming straight to the bedroom.

Billyonaire:
Woman! Why not face your phobia instead of trying to push the blame to your husband ? Dont you know your phobia is even making the man emotionally distraught ? common, stop all these blames and fix your life.

My thoughts exactly, maybe the man has been cuddling her for the past 5yrs, the guy don taya, needs his own breathing space...
And I'm almost certain she won't only want him on the bed, but body contact MUST be involved too for her to really feel safe.
Am I right safiya?

Try play solemn music, blues, u don't av to loud it, just at optimum decibels for u to sleep on. Or I guess u r not a music person, u don't love music? See, don't even try to go find sleep in another house, u r gradually loosing ur home by doing dt. Face the problem and tackle it. Av a feeling ur fear factor is enormous, even with ur husband fully awake in the living room. Try the option of a very good counsel also. I dnt wana apportion blames.

safiya7:


I like to sleep when there's quiet.if music is on I can't sleep. Thanks so much for the friend part. Actually I do all with him.bt he still addicted n to make it worse BIG Brother Naija is showing!

safiya7:


Have tried this too. But once I begin to fall asleep I constantly jump up, like am trying to stay conscious n I don't want something to catch me. Infact there was a time I couldn't even close my eyes to wash my face when bathing cos i was so convinced SOMETHING will appear when I open them again.

Your phobia don pass becareful
U are now hallucinating
Go and visit a doctor

I can see that ur phobia is quite enormous , u need to face the problem. If u keep running away from it, it will chase u and catch u up.

safiya7:


Have tried this too. But once I begin to fall asleep I constantly jump up, like am trying to stay conscious n I don't want something to catch me. Infact there was a time I couldn't even close my eyes to wash my face when bathing cos i was so convinced SOMETHING will appear when I open them again.

When he is on the verge of making love with u, talk to him romantically about ur worries, he will listen. U should knw the way u get him to listen to u. He needs to help u out as well, though nt by sleeping by u every night but to find a lasting solution to ur phobia

safiya7:



Nooo I don't even like long clothes at night cos am always hot. Sometimes he comes in to cuddle from behind, make love then goes right back to TV!

safiya7:


Have tried this too. But once I begin to fall asleep I constantly jump up, like am trying to stay conscious n I don't want something to catch me. Infact there was a time I couldn't even close my eyes to wash my face when bathing cos i was so convinced SOMETHING will appear when I open them again.

This one pass fear oo.

Ppl r diff tho. I av had a penchant for horror movies since childhood and they're still my favorite anytime anyday and love to watch em mostly at night. The suspense gives me delight. Sometimes I think in trying to solve the problem, one needs to recreate that problem. If only I wr her husband, we will both watch horror movies at night then go sleep together. Meanwhile during the gory scenes I will ensure I tell her how much of acting n fake stuffs it is n perhaps we watch the making up of the videos together like someone said. I think this can also help her

CrownV12:
Face your fears.. the horror movies you watched that planted fear in you.. go and watch the making of the movies.. get a television for your room and use eye pads and ear buds to overcome the light and sound.. whatever scares you.. face it head on.. you will eventually need to overcome the fear

Apus:
Truth is u just need to overcome this phobia. What if he wasn't around or job took him far away?... To start with, try sleeping with your room well illuminated.

I hope d horror movie is not in anyway related from[b] Chukky cos even till now DT movie scares d bejesus out of me[/b]...lols!

ogawisdom:


Hmmm hw old are you? Do u pray @ all? Fear is the work of devil

Phobia knows no age. We all have one or more phobias we battle with.

OP, it has nothing to do with the horror movie. As a matter of fact, the movie you watched only triggered the phobia. You should see a psychologist and also speak to a medical doctor. Quite frankly, your husband does not understand that you're suffering from Somniphobia. I suggest you ask him to go with you to see a medical doctor to ascertain the status of your health. That way, he would understand the gravity of what you're battling with. It's quite surprising he didn't know this before you guys got married.

Sanchez01:

Phobia knows no age. We all have one or more phobias we battle with.

OP, it has nothing to do with the horror movie. As a matter of fact, the movie you watched only triggered the phobia. You should see a psychologist and also speak to a medical doctor. Quite frankly, your husband does not understand that you're suffering from Somniphobia. I suggest you ask him to go with you to see a medical doctor to ascertain the status of your health. That way, he would understand the gravity of what you're battling with. It's quite surprising he didn't know this before you guys got married.

I never knew what I am going through even has a name. I would hv Google d it since. He knew before we got married but he simply doesn't understand how a 29year old cant sleep alone. I don't know how to explain to him again. Oh Lord

Jammiiee:
When he is on the verge of making love with u, talk to him romantically about ur worries, he will listen. U should knw the way u get him to listen to u. He needs to help u out as well, though nt by sleeping by u every night but to find a lasting solution to ur phobia

OK I ll try this. Thanks.

Austin234:
Madam, no offense intended, did u @ any time committed any serious offense, like abortion or murder? Check ur conscience. U should face the phobia squarely. Ur hubby may not be cause. Learn to face the world alone

I have never killed anyone o, chai. Hv tried to ignore it too. But that doesn't work either. Am so tired of begging n apologising even when am not wrong, just so I can hv some one to sleep with me in the room at night

Jammiiee:
Try play solemn music, blues, u don't av to loud it, just at optimum decibels for u to sleep on. Or I guess u r not a music person, u don't love music? See, don't even try to go find sleep in another house, u r gradually loosing ur home by doing dt. Face the problem and tackle it. Av a feeling ur fear factor is enormous, even with ur husband fully awake in the living room. Try the option of a very good counsel also. I dnt wana apportion blames.

I love music. But not to sleep with.

MrOreo:

My thoughts exactly, maybe the man has been cuddling her for the past 5yrs, the guy don taya, needs his own breathing space...
And I'm almost certain she won't only want him on the bed, but body contact MUST be involved too for her to really feel safe.
Am I right safiya?

I am alright once he's just there in the room. I only move into his arms to cuddle wen I hv nightmares or I open my eyes n the place is dark

ogawisdom:


Hmmm hw old are you? Do u pray @ all? Fear is the work of devil

I do pray. Even to go into the hallway to use the restroom with full lights on takes so much courage at night.

Just show him dis post

Billyonaire:
Woman! Why not face your phobia instead of trying to push the blame to your husband ? Dont you know your phobia is even making the man emotionally distraught ? common, stop all these blames and fix your life.

u finally broke my heart. I tot with yr seeming knowledge, you would have helped the poor woman. don't we all have 1 ailment or the other? why do we have others as our doctors,guardian or teacher?

safiya7:


I never knew what I am going through even has a name. I would hv Google d it since. He knew before we got married but he simply doesn't understand how a 29year old cant sleep alone. I don't know how to explain to him again. Oh Lord

Somniphobia can be quite a terrible phobia. I have a cousin battling with it. She's married now though and her hubby knows better. They go wherever together and spend the nights almost together.

There was a night she called my phone and started crying just because the hubby had engagements at the office, called her and told her he might not be coming home. It was late and she couldn't just go to him. She started calling everyone just so she wouldn't feel she's alone. It is a night to remember. She didn't sleep all through the night as she feared something would come for her when her eyes are closed. My cousin had no option than to ask one of her husband's siblings to move in with them. They are all happy now.

Just try and see a psychologist to ascertain the degree of your phobia. All will be well

safiya do you like books or e-books? can you bring a young girl to come stay with u even if temporarily as long as she doesn't stay in way when maigida wants to....?
look at any Quran verse or Hadith that banishes fear and read every night , pray briefly and submit yr life to the trust of the Almighty Allah who gave you in the first place, before you climb bed. If it His will to allow something carry you after praying to him ,what can you do? Just trust Him and tell your mind it is okay since Allah and His angels are on guard. Salam.

safiya7:

I have been a guest for so long on nairaland but decided to register because of this problem.

I have always been afraid of sleeping alone in a room except there is someone sleeping there with me. Even my secondary and tertiary days I had colleagues sleeping on my bed with me because of this phobia.

This was due to some horror movies we used to watch as children at night especially when dad travelled. I was scared of watching but couldn't stay in the room alone while my sibblings were watching with loud volume.

Fast forward to this time I am married, so many times I have pleaded with my husband not to leave me alone in the room but he loves sleeping in the parlour just because of television.

He works and comes home past 8 pm and just refuses to leave the sitting room because he wants to watch what he missed during the day. Most times he sleeps there. Countless times after tossing up and down , I go and wake him up to come sleep. Sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn't. The only time he sleeps in the room is when wants to have sex and after that many times, he goes back to TV.

Note that I keep my house spotlessly clean infact I am a neatness freak, so it's not because of untidiness. I have tried to use dialogue told him severally that if I wanted to be sleeping alone I wouldn't hv gotten married. Still no improvement.

Now it's affecting my health severely because I now suffer harsh migraines and my heakth is failing due to the fact that i only get to sleep around 4 am when my eyes are too tired to be afraid.

At a point i started taking matress to the sitting room to sleep , but the sound of the TV doesnt help. In addition he leaves the lights on without being security conscious of the night.

I am seriously contemplating leaving him to go to my family house or just going somewhere that i can have someone around so that I can get some healthy sleep time, as I don't know what else to do. In addition we agreed that no one should come leave with us.

I need mature advice. He is the type at NEVER Listens. Dialogue hardly works, nagging him is the worst. Please advice

Buy a television for your room. Problem solved.

Having read all posts. My conclusion: you need 3 things:

1. Study and understand your phobia
2. Seek medical help(psychiatrist) no be only for mad ppl
3. Consult God in prayer

You have to overcome your fear. There is no other option. Your husband is a human being and not in this world to pander to your illogical fears. I say that you go and see a doctor and conquer your fear. It's not your husband's fault or responsibility. Leaving your marriage isn't an option either.

Are u a christain or a muslim try going to see ur pastor or ur imam

Or if u can contact me through my number If I go to church tomorrow I would tell my pastor or his wife about u and give any of them ur number so they pray with u I attend the redeemed christain church of God. So here is my number 09022409659

safiya7:

I have been a guest for so long on nairaland but decided to register because of this problem.

I have always been afraid of sleeping alone in a room except there is someone sleeping there with me. Even my secondary and tertiary days I had colleagues sleeping on my bed with me because of this phobia.

This was due to some horror movies we used to watch as children at night especially when dad travelled. I was scared of watching but couldn't stay in the room alone while my sibblings were watching with loud volume.

Fast forward to this time I am married, so many times I have pleaded with my husband not to leave me alone in the room but he loves sleeping in the parlour just because of television.

He works and comes home past 8 pm and just refuses to leave the sitting room because he wants to watch what he missed during the day. Most times he sleeps there. Countless times after tossing up and down , I go and wake him up to come sleep. Sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn't. The only time he sleeps in the room is when wants to have sex and after that many times, he goes back to TV.

Note that I keep my house spotlessly clean infact I am a neatness freak, so it's not because of untidiness. I have tried to use dialogue told him severally that if I wanted to be sleeping alone I wouldn't hv gotten married. Still no improvement.

Now it's affecting my health severely because I now suffer harsh migraines and my heakth is failing due to the fact that i only get to sleep around 4 am when my eyes are too tired to be afraid.

At a point i started taking matress to the sitting room to sleep , but the sound of the TV doesnt help. In addition he leaves the lights on without being security conscious of the night.

I am seriously contemplating leaving him to go to my family house or just going somewhere that i can have someone around so that I can get some healthy sleep time, as I don't know what else to do. In addition we agreed that no one should come leave with us.

I need mature advice. He is the type at NEVER Listens. Dialogue hardly works, nagging him is the worst. Please advice

Are u a christain or a muslim try going to see ur pastor or ur imam

Or if u can contact me through my number If I go to church tomorrow I would tell my pastor or his wife about u and give any of them ur number so they pray with u I attend the redeemed christain church of God. So here is my number 09022409659

Apus:
Truth is u just need to overcome this phobia. What if he wasn't around or job took him far away?... To start with, try sleeping with your room well illuminated.

I hope d horror movie is not in anyway related from Chukky cos even till now DT movie scares d bejesus out of me...lols!

That chukky dull was so scary...dont think i can watch it again

joinnow:

Your phobia don pass becareful
U are now hallucinating
Go and visit a doctor

A Psychologists and psychiatrists
Cos you are having both
Somniphobia and visual hallucination.

Visual Hallucinations

People have reported seeing animals, innate objects and people not present. They may see ‘ghosts’ or ‘angels,’ and some involve quite complicated scenes or bizarre situations.
Causes
Disability. Those with very specific sensory problems like blindness or deafness often experience hallucinations. People who go deaf often say they hear voices. Similarly, those who have had limbs amputated experience "phantom limbs" with all the movement, even pain, experienced.

Severe physical illness, such as brain cancer, or kidney or liver failure, or later-life dementia, or alcohol-related delirium tremens.

Severe psychotic disorder, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and schizophrenia. Those who have experienced PTSD often experience flashbacks. When they hear certain sounds or detect certain smells, they are instantly transformed back to times of trauma—war or accidents, for example—and may have powerful flashback hallucinations of particular events. In times of great stress and mourning, some people hear reassuring voices that calm their senses.

d first time make I go see nairalanders give better advise because she said mature advice and perhaps because she be newbies, nobody blast her but me o must blast her..op, ur case is spiritual

now lemme school you...when you were into courtship with dis man u called ur husband, u never made him understand the things you like......you never took ur time to study dis man because all u wanted is to be among ladies who are married and this I called badwagon effect.I believe there is something ur husband sees in you that makes him turn the parlour into his bedroom..lets forget maybe he likes watching TV or any other TV programmes...I guess u disturb ur husband most time that makes him nag...unshould learn to be on ur own..forget how it used to be that years when u were in school and even at home...u need to grow up because u sound like a teenage girl who just jump into marriage without taking her time to find her idea man..let assume dis husband of urs went for vacation and you guys have house boy in d house, so u will call d house boy to come sleep beside u because u can't sleep alone...I bet u will destroy ur msg if something like dis comes up in d future...you guys need proper counseling before things get out of hand...like I said, there is more to why your husband is sleeping in d sitting room irespective of d TV programmes..
d best

Safiya7 Wow! Cant believe an adult still has the fear phobia but seriously you need to handle your fear not ur husband. i used to be so afraid of the dark that i cant walk in dark places or sleep in dark places till i heard a message from Pastor Chris about fear. All i did was to command that fear to leave me and it did. Righy now even darkness fears me and i have slept at d beach alone severally and in weird places just to get inspiration. The fear is wat you should deal with.