₦airaland Forum

goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pedro

gaol Mesi

honeric01:
fine pass from ibra to messi, what a fantastic strike.

2 : 1 to barca the best club in the world.

oga no be u say u no dey watcham haba

khanye:
HT: 1-1
Where r the haterz?

oga give me a link now

guys pls give me a link

abeg where i go fit watch am

eyoniggar:
Nah, today is the day God has made for Barca.

ur right God abeg forgive me oh

honeric01:
@scantee, me no go vote oo, that list no just be am at all.

this Barca head wetin i do u now, why u dey pursue me every where i go, haba u better vote now b4 something strange happens.

Hi Pals wats up, today is the day Barca has made

honeric01:
ok ok, no vex, see your head like ballon''d ball trophy

now u come

honeric01:
lol, see your head like cucumber

this is why i say i go call the psychiatrist. haba

honeric01:
ahh, nobi so oo,i thought we don enter Wednesday.

ok i pardon u, i will withed my psychiatrist.

honeric01:
oh sorry, na tomorrow

hahaha i will invite psychiatrist for inve, stiga, tion

more votes guys

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day and found him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick. In an attempt to hide his full erection, Johnny's father bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously, "What ya doin', Dad?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."

Johnny replied, "What ya gonna do, Bleep him?"

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

more to come when i return

Marriage in Heaven

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven.
St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them.

Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.

He says, "I'm still working on it."

Two years pass by and no marriage.

St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it.

Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.

The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.

"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.

St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?

A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven.

When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in."

He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven.

Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.

Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."

NEXT

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.

St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!"

St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case.

After investigati ng, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that there is no mistake my son,

We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and according to that, you're at least 108 years old!"

NEXT

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. It went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

A. No sir, but I subsequentl y observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?

A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?

A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer -- do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?

A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?

A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?

A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see, sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

NEXT
The pilot on a small plane announced that the plane was going to crash and it's every man for himself. The pilot and co-pilot then grabbed two parachutes and jumped out of the plane. The four passengers, an old priest, a 10 year old boy, a brain surgeon and an attorney, ran to the storage area for the remaining parachutes -- there were only three left.

The brain surgeon said, "There is only one other doctor in the world that can perform the type of surgery I do, and I can save thousands of lives, I'm too needed to die" -- so he grabbed a pack and jumped.

The attorney then pushed aside the priest and the 10 year old, grabbed a pack and explained, "Since I am an attorney, my life should be saved because I have superior knowledge and intelligenc e and am very much needed to advise all the thousands of people less brillant than me", and then he jumped.

The old priest turned to the young boy and said, "Son, take the last parachute, I have had a full life and am at peace with my Maker, you have your whole life to live yet".

The young boy was shaking his head "no" -- Don't worry Father, he said, "we both will be ok -- you know that guy who said he had superior knowledge and intelligenc e -- well, instead of grabbing a parachute pack, he grabbed my backpack!

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer , you're in the wrong place." So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfie d with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvement s. After a while, they've got air conditionin g, flush toilets and escalators; the engineer soon becomes a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great! We've got air conditionin g, flush toilets, and escalators! And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next!"

God exclaims: "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake! He should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan, standing his ground, challenges: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God replies threatening ly: "Send him back up here or I'll sue!"

Satan laughs uproariousl y and answers: "Yeah, right! And just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"

Hi Pals drop ur jokes about lawyers here.
here i go


Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk to his office. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while saying, "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than $1 million. Yes. The appeals court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument, and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while, the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man.

"I'm sorry for the delay," he said, "but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."

dayokanu:
AMongst CHelsea fans. I think Nateevs is most prominent but hardly contributes on other clubs. Ibime is off and on and contributes more to other clubs

Amongst Scummies, Sharon is the most prominent scum. He is a real scum of the earth, First born of the DEVIL. HELLBOY himself . The only award he deserves in 50000 degrees in HELL

Gayyners are all PLONKERS But A40 is the most reasonable. Dr Kit is not regular here again

haba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

platinumnk:
Cheese and Rice!!!

btw- how come i cant vote?

i command u to vote now

honeric01:
so who put some of these names up?

Nah, i haven't seen the names i feel should be there, i mean the names are not complete, some names need to be replaced, this is not an award for the best club supporter, it's nairaland sport man of the year.
we only have top ten.


well, chicken means "person wey no get liver" okay, make i change am to turkey, you like that name abi?

No tolotolo would have be better haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Krayola:
haha. I have a few favorites so it was hard to pick just one. It came down to Sauron and Dayokanu and I tossed a coin and Dayokanu won. 

FBS, DEbosky, Nateevs, Ibime,Biina, khanye,Madame Cristalz, eyonigger, honeric, lai lai, jalether, duduspace  etc etc. Y'all stand well well 

are u sure u never rig the elect, ion

tkb417:
its not hard at all
the best on this land are

1) Sauron
2) Debosky
3) Krayola
4) Kitaun
5) Ibime
6)Nateevz
7) HNIC
Akolawole
9) Sagamite
10) Dayokanu

if i have to cut to 4
Debosky
Sauron
Dayokanu
Ibime


My winner is
DAYOKANU

followed closely by Debosky and sauron

tkb417:
i know
Kitaun and 4play havent been coming like before
if not
4play would have won it by a billion miles
Dayokanu is not even close to him

but since hes absent, we'll manage DK
Kitaun wouldnt beat Sauron and Debosky sef tho he'll be shorlisted

honeric01:
ok, see your big head like water melon how about that?

u no say my head strong pass water meeeeeeeee now

Nonexistence

honeric01:
see your head like [b]coconut [/b]lol, thanks sha

kai my head big pass like that oh

Jarus:
I'm an amateur as far as sports discussion on NL is concerned, but to omit TKB417 is most unpardonable.
My nominees:

1, TKB417
2, DAYOKANU
3, IBIME
4, MUKINA
5, CRISTALZ

If forced to pick one, I'll throw a coin between TKB and Dayokanu!

yahh that is another deu oh shit.

honeric01:
by the way, sport man of the year must not be those who only talk about foreign league or their clubs alone, it has to be someone that's knowledgeable both locally and internationally, those who contribute immensely to these 2 departments.

yeee that is right, many people u guys nominates here only feature on their club thread we want general contributors

chamotex:
Exactly. . .

A-40
Even Debosky is not even mentioned . . . who else would give us a critical analysis of how Arsenal played and the impact Eboue has on the team.

That shortlist needs to be reviewed.

yee that guys is really good in gunners thread but he still have work to do b4 b4 he will be notice.

honeric01:
pardon me but who is galatico and nevtee when it comes to sport?

i only asked you to cast your vote to who u think that deserve it, i did not ask you to disqualify any body.

debosky:
how can you have such a thread and exclude great sports people like HNIC, Tkb417, [/b]BlueDiva and others?

he is good thou.

honeric01:
stop being a[b] chicken, what did i say that would warrant me a ban?

my oga why now, why such word abeg oh (i was just kidding oh haba)

Solari: "I’m a Madrid supporter but hats off to Barça”

The last question. How will Atlante play and create problems for Barça and what are Atlante’s chances of going through to the final?

"I don’t know. Obviously Barça hold all the trumps. But all the responsibility is Barça’s too. We know that. We’ll try and play our football as we always do. Then, how far we get will depend on the problems Barça create for us. Barça takes the ball away from you and doesn’t lose it. If that happens then what I told you about us having ball won’t happen

i love that in Bold

eldee:
Dayokanu
Cristalz
The Arsenal Boyz (Gooner, Duduspace, Allboyz, Edoyad, Slimshay, e.tc) - That's One Body

have u casted ur vote

honeric01:
i am just too competent to go to relegation, try someone else, maybe mukina or eyonigga

do i hear u say mu, ki haba u are calling for ban abeg i no dey. ok i will give it to oga Khanye for his poor performance this season so far.

honeric01:
oh poo, just too late, will watch the recorded part.

dont mind me.
here is the real time
16-12-09 Time: 17:00