₦airaland Forum

Btw: i created this thread on romance section o, mod why u come carry am go family section where 85% members of the section are married...

Tinynita:
my bad....read d 1st page Nd wrote what I wrote....anyway sorry 4d mixup

lol oya go back and read all pages now...thanx 4 hop-in to hlp o. BTW: 80% Ladies here believe and concludes she is cheating far more than 40% guys here, hmm there must be something we guys don't know about gals, well my eye will be extra odinary wide now. Gals are no more loyal of late

Tinynita:
in d first scenario, wat stops her gfs brother from staying wit his sister while he came to write post-utme?...OK let's say d sister is in another school & he needed a place to stay 4 post-utme, fine Nd good..u can accommodate a brother to ur gf BT don't be offended oh...who stays 4 2wks just to write post-utme wen u ain't wit ur sibling or a relation? d gal has been soaking coated garri on ur head all in d name of lies.....
in d 2nd case, I put it to u that d 2nd guy is her school bf Nd she spends ur money on him...she is guilty as charged....if she had nothing wit that guy, she would have picked ur cal after ending it...ur bae is screwing some other guy nd u r her ATM machine....her friends definitely can't bad mouth her xo they would tell u good things abt her Nd laugh behind u....if married women can screw guys while in school, wat makes u think a single gal can't do same?....she is just using emotional blackmail Nd that is y she would faint at d slightest talk of breakup.....try get evidence

i don't know why some of you are getting it difficult to understands my post, let me explain better to you, the first scenario, her gf, the guys sister has graduated from the school, secondary, the guy spent two weeks because he has two post ume exams to take from different uni but in the same state and planned to leave to PH from there after the exam he will not be going back to his state. About the second scenario, she was never with any body, i have every evidence now to believe what happend that day, talking about spending my money is obvious u dnt knw her b4 concluding, she came from a rich family and she lacks nothing, the only money she wanted me to assist her with was for her flight ticket and some cloths she needed to pick up since my invitation for her to come to Lagos came as emergency, with or without my money she is ok. I appreciate ur own side of observation, but @times u jst have to give people benefit of doubt especially when u think u know the person better. Thanks

[quote author=amacastel post=39099607][/quote]i rebuke any spirit that spoke that through you, my marriage can never be a sad one, rather a blessing to my whole generation. In as much as i appreciate ur care and concern, i think is uncalled for you predicting doom to my mirriage, besides i don't believe they are acting any script because they have nothing to gain doing that, if you think maybe because of money, my dear her family is far richer than mine, and the gal is very pretty and young, not like she is very desperate for marriage. Thanx anyway.

FreeGlobe:
Nnamdi Kanu is more popular than Buhari. look at the number of people viewing this thread on a Sunday morning. Nothing will happen to him. I dare the DSS to do their worse!!!! This is a trap and we are watching closely.

don't mind them they are only making him more popular, Dss jst entered the trap set by IPOB leader.

prettyjo:
thank God you made the right decision @scantee cos when I started reading people's comments, couldn't help but shake my head.

don't know why guys were so quick to lure you end the relationship. you guys have so much hatred for the women folk which is very bad.if it were to be a female that posted this,you all would advise her to endure that its in a man's DNA to cheat.

such hypocrisy!!!!


@,op ,am still glad you made the best decision

thanx pretty Ada Anambara onye nweanyi has taken over.

jabojafa:
op its ur life, and u r d one dt wud live with ur choice for d rest of ur life. U dnt owe any1 any apology if u call off d relatnshp. U r d one wearing d shoes so u shd knw were it pinches most. Even if u hv introduce her to ur all community, kingdred, village elders family member and d whole world, as long as u hvnt married her yet, u are vry free to walk away. After all its ur life and ur happiness shd matter 1st and mostly. I can hook u up with correct wify materials dt wudnt cheat on u if u like sef.

lol bro, in Saraki's Voice i rule this your advice out of order..the truth is that i know my woman more than anybody so i am still in better position to know when tinz are up, 4 now...al is well.

Dentale:
Late to the party.

@OP, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say watch your back. So many red flags in the story and explanations. Be careful. Some scenarios were just too weird to be innocent. I don't believe the explanations at all but that's just my 2 kobo opinion. You appeared to be so afraid of a breakup that you were willing to lean towards anything that will preserve this relationship even though it may not be worth preserving. All I can say at this point is that I truly wish u the best as you're a trusting fellow. I hope you won't come back with Part 2 of this story before or after the wedding.
Cheers

thanx, i pray for the best and i believe God will perfect and i will never regret taken the decision.

davide470:
Scantee, Nice to know you have resolved the issue.

Abeg pm me the date for the WW?

lol be warming up bro e go set die

MarvellousGod:
Hmmmm, good for you!

When I made my earlier comment, they were quoting me...

You really have to work on yourself. . You don't really trust that girl, you suspect alot....

pls stop taken this personal, i don't know what is ur own mata haba!

debetmx:
All is well that ends well.

Next time don't waste our time and MB.

We have seen the ocean and the sea.

You certainly made up your mind or they have made your mind your mind for you.

Good luck.

sorry sir oya take ur MB back. 3.5GB has been transfer to you from 0803342524554. Enjoy

yetseyi:
hehehe Abeg let me send my account number . I am serious oh




I am vexing for you. She just tried to avoid you vexing unnecesarily, and what she avoided happened anyway She's decent and she comes from a decent family (going by what you wrote here)



On the second occasion i believe she is innocent, network was actual bad that day, and she refusing to pick my call was jst to enable me calm down because i can be [/b]hypersenstive @times and when i am, the best option then is to lie low, because if am angry and ur busy justifying ur action i might get mad[b].



@ bolded thank God you know this but honestly I hope you do not give yourself HBP unnecesarily considering you wont be at home for a lot of time with the kind of Job you do. You need to cool down bro you do not need it.

There are times she will be busy and unable to pick your calls when you are at work for genuine reasons will you vex and swim back home to know what she is doing, you need to trust her completely or else HBP its just the truth.

Trust is very essential


Thanx Dear i believe she is still the gal i know.[b][/b] Her best gf who has been crushing on me have tried many ways to set her up jst to have evidence to nail her b4 me, bt she never fall for her plans. [b][/b]The gal has confided in me every damm thing i needed to know, believe me i am @ fault, i accused her wrongly, though she gave the room for my suspicion. She has cried her heart out since a.m reading some crazy comments here.

Since your girl is reading this thread please run away from such friend, na wa ooo. Thank God you know you were at fault sha and please try to work on yourself especially on trust issues, you will need it. Lool at crying heart out, is it not nairalanders who believe all girls are cheats, their matter no suprise me again joor.

All is well that ends well

Crackhaus

ya she knows about it already and she has confronted the gal on many occations, i was able to settle them to keep their long time friendship going, don't wanna be the subject of their breakup. They are in good term nw.

crackhaus:
Lol...

This guy is playing with us, honestly...

bro am not the type that create thread for attetion sake, follow the link on my signature then u will understand i am very busy person. Thanx

MarvellousGod:
Sorry for calling you insecure ok? All the best....
Stunningjudy, my moniker has two 'Ls'...

thanx for ur contributions i so appreciate no love lost.

@all thanks you all for ur advice more especially those that pleaded i trade with caution. @Guys out there, sincerely lets not be so fast in condeming every gal out there, there still many gals with virtue and tru love, i am glad i have one. I tender an unreserve apology to any person/persons whom my thread/comments might have offended in one way or the other. I have learnt not to be so fast in judging people without verifying. Funny enough the gal in question is a popular nairaland member whom if i reveal her moniker here u guys will be like "WAOO YOU" she has been reading this thread as a guest. Finally, to my Princess i am very sorry i doubted you faithfulnez/sincerelty. I promise you it will never happen again. UP NEXT OUR PRE TM/WD PICTURES WILL HIT FP SOON. Thank you all.

baggy4luv:
just soft pedal on her for the moment.

thanx bro i appreciate we av resolved everything, i have canceled the family meeting.

Owliver:
after reading all the comments from well wishers i realize the OP is not giving up then my bone marrow got tired.

enough said.



but i feel like giving the OP a resetting konk on the tip of his cap.

lol bro, i wore helmate o ur knock no go enter o

Enahi:
@op why not sit and have a heart2heart talk with her. I am not in support of what she is doing but you also need to find out from her what you did wrong.

You sound like a nice guy which is rare these days but it would have been better if we could hear her own side of the story. Remember the angel you know is better than the devil you don't know.

thax dear, she innocent, i have a solid reason to believe her, her undone is given room for suspicion.

yetseyi:
Scantee, This Lady MAY not be cheating you really do not have any proof, She may be wrong to have housed a male admission seeker, she could easily have taken him to a male friend's room or she stays with her girlfriends while he stays in her room. From all what you have said she seems to be a good girl though since you say almost everyone is vouching for her.

If you are going to break up please have concrete evidence, I believe you should have people around her school that could help you investigate, If she is really cheating she cant hide for long its only a matter of time.

Have you considered that she may not have told you about the guy staying for post-UME because she doesn't want you to think this way. Have you considered that she may have been unable to pick your calls at that point. Have you also thought that what if the owner of the windows phone you talked about was just another male classmate/ visitor and she just didnt want you to know to avoid this same scenerio happening.
The message she sent you that if she was with a guy she wouldn't pick your call is right , a lot of smart ladies wouldn't and then she would make up an excuse for you later on which you will buy .
You actually confirmed that there was post-UME during that period so you cannot rule out the possibility of some one staying with her for exam. Network can also go haywire at any point in time so you saying she faked bad network may also be wrong.

I am just trying to make you see that you really do not have anything to hold on to it just speculation.

From your post it seems this is the first time such is happening, You have every right to be suspicious though, I would if I were in your shoes but you just can't conclude.

You talk very highly of this Lady (That is quite rare on nairaland, where a sizeable number of guys think all ladies are whores) So I think you should try to know what really happened. Be very sure there is something going on because if at the end of the day you break up and it is as she said the tables will turn it may will now be a case of her saying you do not trust her, you are insecure etc etc because she too will have had some doubts about your faithfulness at one point or the other (who wouldn't with what we hear about oil workers).


You should put all wedding plans on hold for now and make sure you sort this out. If it is true then you do not need that kind of wife with the kind of Job you have (HBP).

If you are the praying type I will advise you pray too: Spiritual sensitivity plus street smartness is the key to relationship matters.

I pray you make the right decision.

Omg u deserve 6 digits alert, nice observation. Well from all indictions and evidence i have now i presume she is innocent, her mum spoke to me few hours ago and gave me comprehensive explanation of all that happened, she informed the mum about the guy staying in her apartment and the mum happens to know the guy and his family very well, she is actually 4yrs older than the guy, i learnt her gf friend the guyz elder sis was the one who housed my gal through out her 100L in sch b4 she graduated, my gal knowing surely that i would never support her accommodating a guy tried to pay her gf back her good gesture 2wards her by handling it codedly because she don't know how to tell her gf NO, also i was made to understand that she only slept with the guy jst 4 one night i.e the first day he came, her mum instructed her twins sister to join them the following day till the guy left, since her sis is in the same school but in different hostel. On the second occation i believe she is innocent, network was actual bad that day, and she refusing to pick my call was jst to enable me calm down because i can be hypersenstive @times and when i am, the best option then is to lie low, because if am angry and ur busy justifying ur action i might get mad. Thanx Dear i believe she is still the gal i know. Her best gf who has been crushing on me have tried many ways to set her up jst to have evidence to nail her b4 me, bt she never fall for her plans. The gal has confided in me every damm thing i needed to know, believe me i am @ fault, i accused her wrongly, though she gave the room for my suspicion. She has cried her heart out since a.m reading some crazy comments here.

stunningjudy:
Sorry but is it ur family that will decide for both of u?

Never but to keep the family relationship irrespective of my decision.

MarvellousGod:

I don't support the girl's action even though I know a lot of people that housed the opposite sex during post ume. . I don't support her because she should have told her guy about it...

But look at the guy's comments on here, he plays plank on her, has all her passwords, called her 22 times, keeps asking people about the girl's behavior, already called his dad to tell him the girl is cheating on him..

As I said before, the girl may be cheating or not, op has no solid evidence..

you seem to be too fast in taking judgement, where i my post did i mention i asked people about her behaviour? I only said i asked her twins sister about the guy that spent two weeks in her room which she comfirmed is her frnd bro, mind u i never told my dad anyting concerning cheat or not, i only told him i will like to disscus something with him concerning my girl which he seem not interested nothing more.

stunningjudy:
MarvelousGod, u usually write meaningful stuffs on this forum but calling this op, insecure is a no-no for me. D guy has every right to complain, if she has nothing to hide why did she not pick his calls? 22 times no be here o! Secondly, most university babes usually have school boyfriend n then working class boyfriend or fiancée.
Scantee, if u leave her she won't die! Fainting isn't cardiac arrest. Just follow ur heart, u can give d relationship a break for a while n get convinced before u proceed.

Thanx dear, we going to have a family meeting on sunday both the families to determine the next tin..

spankyflex:
Hahaha see as this girls the carry the matter for head as if the have not done worst Oga scantee just give her the benefit of doubt for now while keeping your eyes wide open to avoid punishing her wrongly.peace

that was exactly what i am trying to avoid bro, she said that what was making that noise was a phone her lodgemate pluged in her room to charge.. The reason y i got made was that she ignored my calls only to text me after an hour.

crackhaus:
Lol, common now...how can you think he's an insecure guy?
Give him a break jor...

Someone, another guy whom she isn't related to by blood, spent nights in the same room with her, a girl he plans to marry...and you call him insecure?
Does the definition of insecurity now preclude common sense?

MarvellousGod,
Someone else, another lady not related to your partner by blood, spends nights with him on one of his (or your) trips...and you want to tell me that your first instinct, in order not to betray your percieved sense of security, is to be content in the feeble excuse that you trust your man.
Really?

thank u bro help me ask her, easier said than done.

duduade:
I have shared a bed with an opposite sex for almost two weeks.. we were on a job... buh cash stripped to get another room.. and believe me nothing of sort happened. .

ya i believe is possible bro, the gal might not be thinking any of such bt u know how guys behaves, is almost 70% impossible for a guy to sleeping on the same bed with a pretty young gal witout thinking wild.. Especially when both are singles

omoharry:
lol....Mr Man...you so much love her that is why you are sympathetic to her excuses for not picking your calls....were u expecting her to tell u that she has another man in her life who is is serving a particular purpose in her life. from all the instances you have told us..it is only obvious that she has a distraction and she does not want to loose you either in other to secure both side...follow you instinct and not you heart...right now you heart cannot distinguish btw truth and lies from you love one.Anyway i pray you have the wisdom to settle this issue without getting hurt at the end.

well thanks

babysophie:
U already v answers to defend ur gal den y r u hre? U r one afraid of breakup n d gal already knw dt n u r nt her kind of man. I dnt blame though .

the advice i seek is not about breaking up rather about not setting the two families into some internal disputes. I am not looking 4 a gf or niether are my bad market, i believe in myself and i believe i have what it takes to date any gal i wish, but as a human i don't like hurting people, i love to have a mutual understanding with people around me, you don't expect me to send the gal parking in an ungentle man way, i rather make her understands her crime so she would have herself to blame rather than tagging me a heartbreaker. Thanx though for ur input

babysophie:
U shld v told us u wanted us to beg her for u na.

ok

babysophie:
Leave dt one bros,we know ashawos used to come to d ship for business na,abi u dey tie ur eyes wen dey come?

well all men are not the same, last time i check i can remember our ship taken any ashawo frm naija here to France, spain...etc maybe u should ask ppl

jaxxy:
Well seems a bit clear on d 1st incident bt how did u Knw d guy Ws sleeping on d bed? She told u? Then it may be harmless bt on d second issue y d shady attitude? Or maybe it Ws just ur imagination? Well keep ur eyes open and don't look at any woman as a saint bt sm of quiet good.

So now let assume she's innocent for now bt not a saint, u Knw her good side bt how about her other sides. To fully Knw a person u must know both gud and bad cos nobody is perfect and then make sure it's balanced.

Have u asked her about her previous relationships? Ex? If not u beta. Just for precaution reason.

ya i asked her about where the guy use to sleep, she told me that they share the same bed on the ground that is raining seasons and rains almost everyday, so she does not have the heart to tell the guy to be sleeping on the floor, though she claim her bed is very wide and can accommodate up to four people, i have not been in her room before so i would'nt know, on the issue of her past r/ship, ya she told me everytn abt it, she said only dated one guy from SS3 - First year in Uni, you know she was born and brought up in Lag, her family stays in lag, she happend to got admission in SE while the guy is schooling somewhere in the west, i met her in first semester 200L, she broke up with d guy on many ground which best known to them, but they were still dating as of the time we met and i told her my intention of getting married to her. So she broke with d guy some weeks after, they guy was even threatning her then, he was using her fb account then to blackmail her, i have to intervane by hacking the account and change password and block off the guy. That has been her only ex..

omoharry:
You are still in denial and defending her action that she is not cheating on you..I am a woman...no woman would drop off her boo''s calls except she is writing an exam or in a class of which the phone will be off...you love her, dont you?....now get the fact...she does not love you as much as you love her.A world is enough for the wise. Don't go and marry and later come on Nairaland to tell us of how this chic turned wife is now cheating on you.move on.

my dear am not defending her at all, she said she decided not to pick my calls because she knows that anytime i got upset nothing she would say that i will believe, she was waiting for my mood to calm down before she can explain things, she has sent me more than 20 text sms since today explaining and pleading...

eyinjuege:
That your girl na actress? Which role has she played in Nollywood abeg?
To be honest with you, get ready to be blackmailed everyday of your marriage, and if she doesn't agree with any decision you make in marriage, na fainting galore be that. Are you ready to be rushing her helter skelter to the hospital every time?
I dislike hysterical women
She's a pretender, and most probably a scammer at that.

lol funny u, i think the fainting of a thing is not today thing, base on what her mum said that anytime she is emotionaly hurt so hard she always have problem of breathing, her BP will rise extraodinary, they are familiar with her on that and always avoid hurting her in a such manner. I was actually with her and the mum the day she fainted while her mum was trying to settle the issues.