₦airaland Forum

Share your experience of being lied to in the name of love, and how you felt when you discovered.

I desire a very peaceful marriage and don't pray for separation or divorce but with all the love-turned-sour stories we read everyday I am beginning to get scared of marriage.
I know there are still some good marriages out there (e.g my parents), but the ratio of failure to success is very high.
And I am worried that if someone misses it initially, then it would be trouble continua.
Are you scared of marriage? How can one fight the fear of marriage?

Atheist:-D:
It depends on the circumstances, the relationship dynamics and of course what both parties have to lose.

What if the man still loves you and the kids but this new hot girl is really turning his head. It might be worth fighting to keep him in those circumstances.

You sound like my friend. Lol.
IF he still loves me, he will return to me when he gets back to his senses, that is IF I am still available.
Love is complicated, gosh.

My friend and I were arguing over the weekend, he said that we should fight to keep our partner but I disagreed with him because I believe that love is a personal thing and that when your partner no longer loves you, there is nothing you can really do but let the person be.
If you fight and get frustrated you might get bitter and do things you will later regret.
I believe a relationship is not worth fighting for when the other person's heart has left the relationship.
Fellow Nairalanders, what do you think? Should we fight for love?

Okay so my bf and I just broke up because he was dating a lady who knew of my existence.
I was thinking to myself that I could never date a guy who is in a relationship or married.
I was wondering what is feels like to be dating another person's girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband.

Which leads me to the following questions:

Have you ever dated someone in a relationship or married?
If yes how did you find yourself in such situation?
Did you feel guilty?
Were you the relationship just for the fun of it?
Did you trust your partner?
Did you have plans to marry the person?
Did your plans materialize?
What was the whole experience as a whole?

It would be nice if ladies/guys who have been in this situation can share their experiences.
Thank you.

PS: Please dont't mind that I used only mistress in the title, I do not know the male equivalent. Maybe I will learn that here on NL.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]I also believe people can change and they deserve second chances but people do not change in a few weeks. You have to allow time to pass and analyze if and why getting back together with him is a wise choice. If you'll ever get back with him again, it has to be from the scratch. Forgive him and never ever talk about what you have forgiven him for. Get back together as friends, and then best friends and see if his repentance is from the heart and not just on the surface. You may even realize you two were never meant to be.

Don't allow your emotions becloud your sense of reasoning. [/color]

Thanks. When everything was happening and I was losing the will to fight, I kept encouraging myself with the popular saying "every relationship has it challenges".
I will allow time do its work and be more outgoing so that I would not give space for idle thoughts and ill feelings.
Thank you all.
Thank you all

kamdyjenny: My case is almost similar to urs. I found out dat my first love was dating sum1 else if I ask him he wld deny it flat. Bt I was so sure he was cheating. I loved him so much bt guess wat I was d one who told him it was ova. He cldnt belive his eyes even uptill now.dis tin happen 2yrs ago. Bt trust me IT WON'T BE EASY. All u nid is time, time nd more time nd d wounds of a broken heart wld be healed,moreova u also hv to frist make up ur mind dat u won't go bk on ur decisions

Hmmm, even though he betrayed my trust somewhere in my heart I am willing to give him a second chance if he is sincerely sorry.
Thanks, I guess time will heal my wounds.

@sauceepm we dated for 2years plus

My boyfriend and I just went our separate ways after 2+years of dating. He is my first and he said I am his first girlfriend too (though not the first girl he would fall in love with). We were doing really fine until I travelled out of Nigeria for my M.SC.

I loved him so much and never thought that we would ever break up. I feel so sad but I cannot really talk to anybody because most of my friends would say but I told you. I am somebody who trust wholeheartedly and even when I saw the signs and confronted him about a lady and he said he was not dating her I believed him (though not totally).

Our communication got so bad and when I spoke to him about working things out, he eventually told me he had feelings for somebody else but was not dating her. He did not tell me her name but I know it is the lady I confronted him about.
I became a crying and “praying girlfriend” and had to be realistic to myself. I then told him we need to straighten things, he said he had lost taste in the relationship, but was willing to make things work. We tried, but when someone does not love you again, there is really nothing you can do about it.

What I think happened was that I was travelling abroad, and he felt he needed to hedge his heart because he has heard of many unsuccessful distance relationship, he allowed his mind to wander, he and the lady were enjoying each other’s attention, it began to affect our relationship, I noticed and told him but he had gone far. I began to feel not loved and valued; it showed in my attitude and affected the relationship further. We tried to work things out, but he is now helplessly in love with her.

Why did I bring it to Nairaland?

I just needed to talk to somebody. I have been crying on my own because it hurts so badly, but I do not really have someone to talk to because most of my friends felt I loved him too much and was not realistic about the fact that distance relationship is hard work. They would laugh at me.

I loved him and trusted him till the last, but I guess that is not enough to make somebody love you in return.

My questions are: if you have ever had to end a relationship, how did you deal with it without it affecting your views of guys (ladies). 2) How did you deal with it without it affecting your view on love and trust? 3) How did you heal (my academics is suffering, I can’t seem to concentrate)

Please share your experiences, I need some useful advices.
Thanks.

P.s: I had to create a new handle because I have repeatedly boasted about him on Nairaland and would not want Nairaland investigators to use it to taunt me.