My boyfriend and I just went our separate ways after 2+years of dating. He is my first and he said I am his first girlfriend too (though not the first girl he would fall in love with). We were doing really fine until I travelled out of Nigeria for my M.SC.

I loved him so much and never thought that we would ever break up. I feel so sad but I cannot really talk to anybody because most of my friends would say but I told you. I am somebody who trust wholeheartedly and even when I saw the signs and confronted him about a lady and he said he was not dating her I believed him (though not totally).

Our communication got so bad and when I spoke to him about working things out, he eventually told me he had feelings for somebody else but was not dating her. He did not tell me her name but I know it is the lady I confronted him about.
I became a crying and “praying girlfriend” and had to be realistic to myself. I then told him we need to straighten things, he said he had lost taste in the relationship, but was willing to make things work. We tried, but when someone does not love you again, there is really nothing you can do about it.

What I think happened was that I was travelling abroad, and he felt he needed to hedge his heart because he has heard of many unsuccessful distance relationship, he allowed his mind to wander, he and the lady were enjoying each other’s attention, it began to affect our relationship, I noticed and told him but he had gone far. I began to feel not loved and valued; it showed in my attitude and affected the relationship further. We tried to work things out, but he is now helplessly in love with her.

Why did I bring it to Nairaland?

I just needed to talk to somebody. I have been crying on my own because it hurts so badly, but I do not really have someone to talk to because most of my friends felt I loved him too much and was not realistic about the fact that distance relationship is hard work. They would laugh at me.

I loved him and trusted him till the last, but I guess that is not enough to make somebody love you in return.

My questions are: if you have ever had to end a relationship, how did you deal with it without it affecting your views of guys (ladies). 2) How did you deal with it without it affecting your view on love and trust? 3) How did you heal (my academics is suffering, I can’t seem to concentrate)

Please share your experiences, I need some useful advices.
Thanks.

P.s: I had to create a new handle because I have repeatedly boasted about him on Nairaland and would not want Nairaland investigators to use it to taunt me.

so sad but you have to dust yourself up and move on but you did not mention how long you dated him.

The magic of first love is the ignorance that it can or will never end.@ op, shit happens okay, you have to move on. You should be glad, you've obtained experience.

@sauceepm we dated for 2years plus

My case is almost similar to urs. I found out dat my first love was dating sum1 else if I ask him he wld deny it flat. Bt I was so sure he was cheating. I loved him so much bt guess wat I was d one who told him it was ova. He cldnt belive his eyes even uptill now.dis tin happen 2yrs ago. Bt trust me IT WON'T BE EASY. All u nid is time, time nd more time nd d wounds of a broken heart wld be healed,moreova u also hv to frist make up ur mind dat u won't go bk on ur decisions

kamdyjenny: My case is almost similar to urs. I found out dat my first love was dating sum1 else if I ask him he wld deny it flat. Bt I was so sure he was cheating. I loved him so much bt guess wat I was d one who told him it was ova. He cldnt belive his eyes even uptill now.dis tin happen 2yrs ago. Bt trust me IT WON'T BE EASY. All u nid is time, time nd more time nd d wounds of a broken heart wld be healed,moreova u also hv to frist make up ur mind dat u won't go bk on ur decisions

Hmmm, even though he betrayed my trust somewhere in my heart I am willing to give him a second chance if he is sincerely sorry.
Thanks, I guess time will heal my wounds.

Cant say I have ever fallen in love. When i almost did a friend snatched the girl from me. Cause he was rich. So since then i vow never to fall in love better still just go with the flow of luv rather than falling in it

sorry Dear.

I tried masking tape, didnt work,
i tried glue, didnt work,

then i gave TIME a chance, it worked.

Try time

Pele OP. the simplest of ways to get over him is giving it time. there are other cruder ways to get over him. depends on how urgently u want it. though a rushed process has it's consequences and it includes, like u rightly observed, an affected view of guys.

Dont worry,d last time Nkechi was heartbroken like u i was d 1 d@ amend it.
*Brings out amending needle*
Just gimme a try.

sexkillz: I also believe people can change and they deserve second chances but people do not change in a few weeks. You have to allow time to pass and analyze if and why getting back together with him is a wise choice. If you'll ever get back with him again, it has to be from the scratch. Forgive him and never ever talk about what you have forgiven him for. Get back together as friends, and then best friends and see if his repentance is from the heart and not just on the surface. You may even realize you two were never meant to be.

Don't allow your emotions becloud your sense of reasoning.

Thanks. When everything was happening and I was losing the will to fight, I kept encouraging myself with the popular saying "every relationship has it challenges".
I will allow time do its work and be more outgoing so that I would not give space for idle thoughts and ill feelings.
Thank you all.
Thank you all

mine is somehow similar to yours. we were together for 4+ years and last year she left me for someone else. you can read the whole story on my thread here on Nairaland: www.nairaland.com/1258612/need-advice-concerning-ex

I've got a thread now,https://www.nairaland.com/1279657/why-must-learn-hard-way check it out

capturing another picture of a pretty and well shaped lady will do me just fine