₦airaland Forum

TheChameleon:
I pity those who wasted time to read and or advise a troll. I smelt a rat and didnt even bother.

Please read comment number 4 and input my reply as response to that fellow. Ablemed or something

UyaiIncomparabl:
You too talk, abeg. Who fit summarize? These days, to read wetin no concern me dey tire me. Not to even talk of rendering my golden advice. My advice is very expensive to let out like that. Last last, you know what to do.

What goes around may come around. You may soon need other people's advice too. I wish you well in your endeavors.

Asetime:
How are you so sure she's cheating, have you seen her with someone or you just believe so? Moreover, you saw she was a person that loved her own company so much before marriage. So how would that have changed after marriage. You also concluded that her people are with her concerning her decision. Please what statement have they uttered that warranted such conclusions? No African family truly wants their relative to have a broken home. Are you saying no one of her relatives ever contacted you?

They never contacted me o. I even saw them in town by chance and greeted them, but they will just snub me. When the situation was fresh, a brother of hers met me and was harassing me on the road.

Asetime:
How are you so sure she's cheating, have you seen her with someone or you just believe so? Moreover, you saw she was a person that loved her own company so much before marriage. So how would that have changed after marriage. You also concluded that her people are with her concerning her decision. Please what statement have they uttered that warranted such conclusions? No African family truly wants their relative to have a broken home. Are you saying no one of her relatives ever contacted you?

I saw her in compromising positions with different guys. And she made some confessions that seem like gist to her.
It's not that she loved her company, she was just busy and she believes that's the way it should be.
I have been close to her family and I could identify their position. More so, she knew and presented them as enemies before we got married and suddenly after marriage, she says the devils she knows is better than angels she doesn't know.
They have said all manners of terrible things to her and myself that they cannot say to their biological daughters.

techWriter3:
Yougonna a pathological perjurer

Ah, Check my profile if you need help with your thesis, personal statement, statement of purpose, dissertation, or assignment.

Very poor conclusion

LadySarah:
Let's hear her side.

The no of threads of men crying about their exes,wives,babymamas and girlfriends is becoming too much.

What is happening?

Times have changed. Values are depleting and many people no longer fear God. Very many women have stopped being feminine wanting equality with their men. We are different and we can never be the same. Even if one transgenders. You cannot change the settings and arrangements of God.

[quote author=sisisioge

Controlling ke! I have only used to appeal to her. She can be very controlling herself, doing everything possible to be the husband and make me the wife.
She wants to come back but on her own terms of being in charge and doing anyhow.
Why should a woman pretend to be a christian or a child of God when she does not want to follow the dictates of the bible ?
Thank you for the analysis and advice

Pastoshizzy:
Most people I have met that say despicable things about their marriage failure are always pointing out their partner's shortcomings. They play the victim. Pride usually causes this. It takes 2 mature people to find balance as regards their longterm expectations. Your values, are they identical?
You used the word 'seem' a number of times, it becomes obvious you never knew well who you were getting married to (were you guys just shagging?..coz that on it's own could be a blind fold to red flags). I fail to see other things you did wrong. Could still be your fault she went for other distractions. It takes a child of God to own up to their shortcomings, two wrongs dont make a right.
Swallow your pride, there is room for reamendments. For all I know, you may not have caught her in the very act. Find peace within yourself. Stop the mudslinging. The children...please!

Well, I pointed out her faults because those are the problems I'm facing and I equally mentioned my own flaws.
Our values are obviously not identical and I don't even think this person even wants uphold any value.
Yes, I truly don't know her enough, because she formed busy all the while and pretended to be quiet all thru. Even inside marriage, she's unavailable.

Shagging for where? At all.
She had her distractions all along, she only hid them and I started getting to see them one by one.
Thank you for your optimism and kind words to me

Foodqueen:
Where una for de see all these kain women marry sef

The decent ones are out there still searching..

Quite unfortunate that they are more in the church than you can imagine. Even the club girls now make a good marriage.
It is strange how the decent ones are stuck and hidden somewhere.

obinna58:
If you cannot afford to show her the exist door you’re not man enough


Dealing with women, never be the one asking for peace, give it to her as she wants but only be considerate

She already showed me the exist door and I am peace loving, while I noticed she doesn't even have peace within herself

Leoniine:
So you're commenting on your own post and advising yourself??

That advice is for the second person that commented on this post. He seem to want to give up. Please read his comment.

Magnoliaa:
But I don't know what the men of today are turning to honestly. All jokes apart. This one is celebrating a divorce? Openly like this and on social media? Does he have family members? Kids? Is this how morally bankrupt we've become that a man is celebrating a divorce of all things in the whole world? Is this how much our values have eroded?
Publicly telling people with all his mouth that he failed as a LEADER and as an HEAD!

Because that is exactly what this is... there cannot be two captains in a ship, so I am 100% sure that he alone steered* that marriage to wreck! Women are born to be submissive, and have been brought up to be so, to follow a man's lead... a true man with the right frame anyway, so this one should just go and hang his head in shame for his lack of frame. Spits.

I don't mean to side the man but, have you by chance met a feminist or any lady with equality mentality? Not all women agree to submission and not all women were brought up and trained to submit o. We know them as colleagues, friends, wives and sisters o.

Antimarraige:
Marraige na scam created by our founding fathers. Humans were never engineered to marry each other

Incorrect
Incorrect
Incorrect

Latty88:
The issue here is that it’s only you that want marriage, your wife only fulfilled her wish of having kids and living her career life alone.

Either you keep praying for her to repent or you move on quickly.

Very correct. Even though she switched positions to claim I only used her. The career sef dey suffer. How can one be on a spot for almost 10 years and not feel something is wrong with you? And the children sef, she no get time for them. Even now, they are with a stranger but I don't want to cause trouble for now

ValCon888:
You're a pathological liar. I would like to hear her side of the story.

Yes. She told me nobody will believe me. And a police who saw her statement said if I saw her statement, I would commit suicide.
Well, you will hear her side when she sees this post and writes in defence or if we eventually go public.
Thanks all the same for your view

Ishilove:
Oga, you saw the red flags and still chook head. You even said "her family gave you hell, which is why you married her". Were you coerced? I have no doubt that she has her own terrible faults, but reading between the lines, you also get your own for body plenty

Yes, I was feeling like a hero abi saviour. Even though I was warned. I mentioned a few faults of mine already, nobody is perfect

Ishilove:
Theirs was a SU courtship. No fornication and unnecessary touchery

You gerrit. Very moral and spiritual courtship

GloriousGbola:
The pxssy was the bomb had a nigga on strung

She won't even give me pussy o. As she was never available and when she's, she's not willing or always tired. But I later found out somebody was doing great at work while I watch a sleeping and tired wife on the bed

Ishilove:
Oga, you saw the red flags and still chook head. You even said "her family gave you hell, which is why you married her". Were you coerced? I have no doubt that she has her own terrible faults, but reading between the lines, you also get your own for body plenty

She was desperate to get out of the family. She threatened suicide if I leave her. I could not reason her die because I don't want to tolerate the red flags which I thought I could still endure

Don't give up brother. Do not be weary in well doing. You will be happy again. Give God a chance or continue to hold on to God. Don't die o. We need you here

Oduduwa Republic o

.

I met her in church. She seem decent, godly and respectful. She seem like one who wants to serve God (Which attracted me) but, hindered by survival. So, I tried to help and guide her to better life like a youth pastor would do but, she fell in love. Love beclouded her that she didn't even consider the solutions I was bringing for her and after much hell from her people, we got married. Marriage was a huge mess as she was never available whether emotionally, spirituly or even physically. She was so lost in her job that nothing else mattered in the whole of life. Even though I don't earn much, I could meet our needs alone. She seem agreeable and contented while we courted but, immediately we got married, she became someone else. she now wants the world, especially things we do not need. Although, I saw certain red flags while we courted like terrible lies, disrespect for elders, spendthrift, undue quietness, too busy and so on. But as marriage came in, she became a big mess with lots of concentrated and baseless lies, uncultured or unethical hardworking and hard life, infidelity, stealing from work, disregard for the things of God, disregard for time, no time for self, husband or even children. It was so bad I had to be carrying 2 months old baby about as she dumped her on me the moment her maternity leave was over. I forgot to mention that she works a shift job and she does night like 3 or 4 times a week. She works on Sundays to, so she hardly comes to church. It was so bad I have to carry baby to her at work for breastfeeding. I did everything possible to get her another job or business but she frustrated it. She later became very toxic and harmful and she has the backing of her people who I believe wants to ruin her and she does not know or maybe she does not care.
In the midst of all these trouble, I was still loving her like the only woman in the world, while she treats me like shit, locks me outside, wont cook or clean the house, became very disrespectful and insubordinate.
If you think I didn't try please let me know. I tried to calm her and seek an amicable way to resolve things but she kept pushing me away till I no longer feel safe with her. It became scary eating her food or sleeping in this same room as I learnt an adulterous woman will either kill her husband or herself. And since she's enjoying her infidelity, she might kill me, so i excused myself for some days hoping when i return she would feel some remorse and we would resolve things but I was wrong. She wanted me out of the house and her life the night I returned. In the process of the short fracas, she started rough handling me and I hard to spank her to calm the situation but to my surprise, she ran inside the room, I thought she was going to throw my things out or pick something to injure me but she came out with an obvious wound on her forehead, claiming I tried stab her and before you know it, I was in the police cell headed for prison. Luckily for me, God reveals all that she did or was planning. So, I got revelations from men of God of how she wants to send me to prison with the help of her people.
My concern now is, how do I help the children out of her grip and how do I help someone who is in love with her demons delivered. I don't encourage divorce. As a matter of fact I'm a happy-marriage crusader. And haven been separate for 3 years now, I can't see any remorse or repentance in her.
Children are still young, 6 years old boy, 4 years old boy and 3 years old girl. None of her family as showed any concern and she has so much despised my own family and the church. I recently found out she has strong narcissistic traits. My possible flaws or error as no man is perfect; my income is small but can cater for us; I may be too God minded for her liking; I so much want us to progress together and she wants to walk alone; I send not sufficient upkeep for children based on my current financial status; I want to raise a godly family but she wants us to be an anyhow family; while trying to love her more, she's continually wicked to me. During festive period one year, I wanted to surprise her with a car and was putting the car in order while my wife was busy preparing to send me to prison. I'm a dropout, she has a masters; I'm a moralist but, she wants to be with dreads, sagging and maybe smokers. But if you meet her, she be like Jesus' younger sister.
What do you advice I do friends ?
I'm sorry it's long experience of about 7 years. Too much to write