My exams went by without a hitch, I guess I can now call myself hardcore unlike before when I allowed my emotions to get the better of me.
Roll on to after my last paper, the boys and I headed off to the campus recreation center to chill out. From there I became the topic of discussion, smiling sheepishly as they laughed about my triangular tussle with omotola, her cousin and best friend.

I literally zoned out of the discussion as I fiddled with my phone, torn about calling priscilla to know how she was faring. I finally sent her a text message and was surprised when she replied a minute later, I quickly texted her that I needed to see her, her reply came a little bit longer, she agreed to meet me at the rc in the evening.

I was still smiling when I heard pascal mentioned my name. As usual, they were still talking about women, and it looks like their center of discussion just walked into the rc building.

Pascal: I dey tell you, that babe too hardcore. I no fit count how many guys she don slap.

Nurudeen: she’s fine and she knows it that’s why, but her snobbishness is a turnoff for me abeg, who she think say she be…otedola pikin?

Curious, I scanned the crowded hall to check out the chic they were gossiping about and oh my, I raised one eye brow in approval, she was drop dead gorgeous. According to lati the informant, her name was Karen (her name even tussh join) 4th year law student. She sat cross legged, boorishly poking through her iphone with one hand while twirling a car key absentmindedly with the other. You need no spiritual intuition to tell you “baba respect yasef, this one pass you.” She wore the usual law students black and white garb, her tight fitting black pant trousers hugged all her curves, her cleavage threatened to erupt out of her cotton white shirt as she was unable to button all the way up. She had this porcelain skinned complexion commonly placed with half caste kids of nigerian and oyinbo parents.

“what do you think Bj?” lati asked breathlessly as the boys salivated and gushed over her beauty.

“She aiiite, I just think you guys hyped her way to much cos now my expectation has been exaggerated.” I shrugged.

They all glared at me as if I have insulted her by comparing her to a goat.

Lati: Guy did you just said she was aiiite?

“Of course she’s okay, but I just can’t see her as the goddess you all thought her to be.” I answered.

Pascal: you’re an idiot

Lati: add blind fool join

Nurudeen: na the hottest babe for campus you just use ur big mouth take aiiite like that.

“Come o, why una dey crucify me…cos say una dey fear to go follow am talk no mean say she be the real deal, abeg…even Rhianna get person wey don tire of her sh*t sote he no dey pick her calls, I no talk say she no fine, I just tink say una too dey hype am.” I fired back defensively.

Pascal: so you’re telling me you can collect her number right about now, and succeed where others have failed.

“I did not said that.” I stammered quickly as I began to suspect where the argument was leading.

Pascal: then keep your opinion to yourself then, you be local champion.

Lati: haha haba pascal wetin you mean by that, you mean to tell me say na local local food like fufu and akpu be bioye delicacy, say he no get liver sample food wey do b.sc for abroad?

Nurudeen: hahaha my belle o...so bj nah for our local league hin dey play so, ibile fc.

Their taunts and laughs annoyed me so much I didn’t realize I uttered a word until they stopped to stare at me. “What did you just say? Lati asked with a bemused expression on his face.

chevalier joislim enonche85 uniquejames AyoSammyTunde biadefolar temmydayoslimsy dickroman sunflow unearthed labiodun48 RockyEyo......make una manage this till new year Ooo

Uniquejames:


boss so you dea here self. TWALE!!

...abi na bruh....gathering intel for the portfolio

Lol....make una no vex o, this week have been...something else, so seasons greetings y'all, chevalier joislim enonche85 uniquejames na my village pple no gree me update o, as i barely get at least 5mins take settle down for one place

OP wetin I go give u for Xmas?[/quote]hehe...something wey no go kill man

unearthed:
sheikshegetto sheikshegetto our friendly neighbourhood puna smasher...... wehdonsir!

lool.. Edakun o

BiadeFolar:
BTW wehdon. You're an excellent writer

thanks boss.

Phew!!, took everything in one gulp...great script badohemmy ...you just earned a deciple ...follow follow

Joislim:
You were able to smash the three of them without being caught at least yet 'cause of lack of trust between them.

Nice story

Happy Christmas, hope we are expecting Christmas update tomorrow?

I'll try dear, but i can't make any promises.... Happy xmas.

She choose to ignore me instead and flared at simi.

“you sloth, I welcomed you to my place with open arms and this is how you repay me.”

“Oh please, now I’m the harlot, who had wale before you came over to my place and sank your claws into him huh?, your problem is your selfishness, you should have made your choice a long time ago but instead choose to kill two birds with one stone now you lose the stone and the birds.

“you used me” Priscilla soft voice broke into their argument where she stood forlornly by the corner. my heart wrenched at this.

“I never wanted you to find out like this, I wanted to tell you…”

“what’s that supposed to mean? Omotola waded in

“It means she was fvcking him too, ode oshi.” Simi offered unnecessarily.

“My best friend and my cousin, you take your revenge too far when a simple breakup would have suffice you miserable wretch.” Omotola sneered.

“Oh I wasn’t given enough time babe cos if fate hadn’t ordained that I would be caught by you today I would have gone for every female in your extended family to teach you a lesson about using men as your playthings.”

She slapped me soundly and stormed out of the room, weeping like someone possessed.

“well, I guess that’s my clue to leave, holiday’s over, don’t you dare block my number cupcakes.” Simisola purred as she took her leave also.

“She’s right you know, Priscilla whispered. “you should have broken up with her as soon as you found out but you decide to play God, and I was stupid enough to think you cared about me.”

“come on Priscilla you know I care about you but what would you do if you were in my shoe, remember you kept quiet all the time I was being played for a fool.

“So for that reason I simply became a pawn on your board, your hate has made you blind to those that love you sincerely, I hope you find peace bioye.”

I wanted her to be mad at me, I wanted her to yell and curse, but her soulful attitude hurts me more than the pain I saw in her tearful eyes.

“How was I supposed to know who loved me or not, you all wanted the same thing from me, you all used me.” I yelled at her retreating figure. “I am barely 21 and I’ve been scarred by women folk every damn time and when I thought I was finally down I get scarred all over again, you made me this, you all made me this way.

A few moments later, lati found me staring stonily at the wall.

“Was it worth it? Everything.” He said as he patted my shoulder in sympathy.

“No.” It wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve it.” I shrugged as I pulled my handout towards me and started reading…I’ve got an exam to prepare for.

I guessed I could always blame it on the fact that I became too complacent because of my easy luck, and that made me careless, or I was becoming bored of all the shenanigans and the deception that comes with it.

Simi, lati and I just finished watching a new movie and we spent a better part of the credit scene arguing about how over hyped it was, until lati took the hint and excuse himself to give us some privacy.
I was in no mood for sh*t with the upcoming exams on my mind and was about to call him back but simi would have non of it.

“I’ll be leaving this weekend, and this is probably the last chance I might get so get busy and make it memorable.

Y'all should have known that my self restraint is as weak as a remote village’s cell phone signal by now so I obliged without much fuss.
I had her legs on my shoulders and was gyrating away when omotola’s startled cries broke us apart.

“what is the meaning of this?” she stuttered for the third time as I calmly put on my cloths to patch up a bit of decency. “Bioye how could you, after all said and done you had to cheat on me with my cousin.”

I was shocked to see simi unconcerned as she nonchalantly covered her unclothedness, her attitude must have irked omotola so much she moved to hit her. I intervened by moving between the two of them, she then unleased her rage on me, calling me all sort of uncivil titles and lunged to tear my eyes from my face.
Prior to that moment, I felt nothing but I could recognize shame taking over me as Priscilla walked into the room.

I lost the rest of my calm and hurled omotola away from me. “WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP” I bellowed, shocking her into silence.

“I’m sick of this display of self righteousness, you have the nerve to call me on my infidelity when you are the biggest lying cheat of all, you made me do this when you started playing with my feelings, you made me what I have become when you started leading me through a double life, you ought to be proud of me cos I am your creation. Before I knew about wale, and all those while I was feeding him with my food then dropping him off at your place so you can fvck I was sincere with you, now you cry to the entire world that I’m the evil one.

By the time I got to omotola’s place, I was panting like a Salah ram, she opened the door at my first knock; a cheeky smile plastered on her face as she dragged me in. To my annoyance she was all dressed up in contrast to images that compelled me over.

Our sex was savage and quick, it sums up all the pent up sexual tensions that had been denied us as we tore into each other as if time wasn’t on our side which was true, there was no patience to remove cloths, I simply pulled apart her panties, pinned her against the wall, cupped her buttocks with both hands her long legs astride my hips as we rutted away without a care in the world.

“This is not right” I gasped into her ear as if what I just said mattered. “My girlfriend is your cousin.”

“like you cared” her voice was hoarse from trying to suppress her moans. “I see the way our dear Priscilla looks at you, it was only fair to want a share.”

I groaned as she squeezed her vulva around my member. Either she had a hunch or she was guessing but I felt like there was a subtle hint at blackmail hidden underneath those words but I said nothing else as I ploughed on roughly enough to bruise her as she squeaked and clawed my back in retaliation.

“That was way too close for comfort, either of them could have caught us.” I said a few minutes later as I fussed with my belt.

“But they didn’t” she purred as she stretched out contently on the bed, my eyes hungrily took in her curves but I mentally slapped some sense back into my consciousness.

“Yeah, and could you please cut out those craps you’ve been pulling on WhatsApp, either of them could easily go through your phone.”

“Not unless you promise me another go, I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t pretended not to take the hint in the first place.”

My answering growl startled her as I held her gaze. “I don’t know what game you’re playing when you used the both of them to cockblock me in the first place, so get your priorities right, I’m not some tool to be used at whim between the three of you, there are different ways to get fu*cked up and I’m not talking about the type we just did so bring the teasing down a notch and let things be cool between the two of us.”
I almost disclosed the part where I knew about the so called other boyfriend from her school to get a reaction from her but I reined in my anger, after she said she was sorry.

“Should I look forward to more of this cos I still got some weeks left before I go.” She called as I opened the door to leave.

“I can’t promise that.” I called back but she and I knew I was lying.

The following weeks prior to our exam period, I did not know how I managed to maintain the charade between the four of us. I guessed I was running on lady luck, smashing three girls from the same room week in week out without being caught but I knew my luck was about to run out and it sure did, a week before the second semester second year examination.

But i soon found out that getting a girlfriend was not as easy as getting laid, my first attempts were shambolic cos I was picky as hell, my choice must at least have the requirement packages that comes with the likes of omotola if not better. Even though I was having troubles catching myself a new beau, the distractions wore off the lustful itches I was having over simisola and like her cousin, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Prior to that moment, we have exchanged numbers and had been making casual chats on WhatsApp. I had always been extra careful when it comes to texting and the likes cos whatever you exchange with a girl is liable to get copied, screenshot and shared with her entire coven, so I tend to keep my naughtiness to phone calls only, recorded calls can be easily defended compared to copied and pasted evidences.

I knew sh*t was about to go down when the alakoba started leading our convos down the sexting lane, I would always divert back or shrugged it off cos I was afraid omotola might go through her phone.

For example; she would asked me to guess what she was wearing, I would make it seem like a joke by replying her that she was wearing the whole armor of God. Or I would tell her to stop playing in the rain and beg her cousin for aboniki balm so she won’t die of pneumonia once she told me she was wet.
She just wasn’t taking the hint at all.

One day, I was in class yawning through a lecture when I got a WhatsApp notification, I checked my phone screen and saw her name and the first view of her text…(home alone…)
Eager to while away some of my boredom, I was ready to reply as usual… my mind already conjured a reply… (home alone? Sey the part 1 or part 2 cos this third part is my favorite…) when I got incoming file alerts beeping in rapid succession.
The daughter of jezebel sent me ten pictures of her nudes in different provocative postures and a sign off text that says (come get some now while it’s still hot.) She then went offline.

A wiser man will put down his phone and try to focus more on his lectures, cover himself with the blood of the lamb and pray for strength against the spirit of temptation, a level headed man will add two plus two to know his girlfriend’s place was a risky place to go cool off his libido with her cousin…who was I kidding, I was neither wise nor level headed anyways cos I packed my stuff and raced out the lecture hall with the speed of lightening.

The days dragged on faster than a Ferris wheel, yet I was no closer to getting my fangs on simisola.

To my disappointment I got cockblocked at every given chance by both priscilla and omotola. Every damn time I sneaked in for a visit, she was never alone, either of the two must always be there like they don’t have anything better to do with their free time. and whenever she came over to my place, one of them would follow up, acting like chaperones.
Simisola seem to find this amusing and would share a wink just for me whenever they weren’t watching, (you are having fun abi…no worry hand go soon meet you)
Out of options, I shared my frustration with lati;

“Na the same thing wey her cousin do you na hin she bin dey try so…she wan dey nymph you guy. See as she dey always bring at least one of the girls come our side cos she know say dem no born you well make you try sh*t, her aim na to frustrate you till you commit rashly, women and their games sha. Wetin you need now na other distractions, show her say her nunu no be the promise land wey baba moses tell Israelites say milk and honey dey flow.

Lati was right on, I needed another distraction so as to not get dragged into whatever drama simi was cooking up, I needed another girlfriend to be at leveled terms with omotola, she currently has two to my knowledge, lord knows she might have more so I went hunting.

RockyEyo:
Correct Guy, We are still strong and following............... anywhere you lead we dey with you, But emm boss you for just bonus ur guys with Christmas benefit naw make we for just read small as per.......... u kw nah

Badt guy

hehe baba my fone battery don redddd ooo

HelenBee:
I want moreeee.

Thank you OP, I love the way you write.

thanks hun, but alas...no more updated until tomorrow

Chevalier:
This is one of d best stories on nairaland.
OP you b correct nigga!!! Keep it rolling bro...

bazillion thanks bruh, appreciate that.

Uyiii:


I throway salute

lmao

I staggered to my bathroom to take a quick shower, body aching everywhere; I collapsed on my bed and immediately drifted to a sleep of recovery.

A knock woke me up a few hours later, I groaned into my pillow before forcing myself out of bed. It was omotola.

“Hey babe, you didn’t tell me you were coming”

“well I missed you, had to sneak away from simi and prissy for a quickie.” Was all she said before she grabbed me by my shirt and began to clobber my lips with wet kisses.

“No babe, this is not the best of time” I protested as I struggled to detach her arms from my neck.

“Well the chairman is saying otherwise.” Omotola giggled, pointing at the bulge in my trousers.

“well ignore it, he never listens to reason anyway and reason says my body needs some rest.”

“rest? Its not like you just had sex with three woman or something” she huffed as she stalked to the middle of the room.

(Jesu kristi, what an accurate presumption)

“Well, as ladies have their ‘I am not in the mood moments’ so we guys are entitled to her own, my answer is a firm NO, so no is no, everything pass that na rape and………

That was as far as I got as I turned to address omotola, she had stripped herself of all her cloths and was standing in the middle of the room in all her full glory, arms akimbo on her supple hips, a mischievous smirk on her face. “you were saying?”

“Arghhrr… oh well something must kill man.” I sighed as I began to unbutton my shirt.

In reply, I grabbed O’set by the neck and pulled her in to a kiss, she moaned into my mouth as priye hummed in approval.

Before I could say jack robinson, my shirt had been removed by either priye or the franca babe I had no idea who. I felt a hand slipped down my shorts to squeeze my rising member as I sneaked a peak as Franca locked lips with priye while the latter continued to stroke me on to my full length.

O’set broke our kiss to push me down on their double divan bed, she peeled off my shorts while the others slowing striped off their clothing’s. I’m in paradise I said to myself as I feasted my eyes on their butt ass naked bodies, maybe I had died cos my headphone exploded or something cos I still couldn’t believe what was happening.
I stiffened when priye held my dick between her hands and swallowed it whole. O’sex must have read the frown on my face when she said

“relax babyboy, you have no fear of std from us, we always use protection but once in a while we needed the raw, and for the pregnancy, we’ve taken some pills so don’t worry about the nine months time package. Not waiting to hear my response, she straddled me and sat on my face.

“well something must kill man cos no turning back now.” I resolved and ate away into her p**sy like it was the last supper.

My entire peripheral view was blocked but could almost feel my spirit flow out of my body cos priye’s cock sucking was so good I flooded her mouth prematurely, she earned a murmur of approval from franca at this. I felt her take over as her warn tongue began to tease roll around my crown tip. O'set’s occasional whimper drew back my attention as I used my fingers to part an opening to her clitoris for my tongue to play with, I felt franca’s tongue flicked a last roll on my dick long enough for either her or priye to impale herself on and began to ride me.

Thanks to lati’s herbal mixture, the girls took turn riding me like a rodeo and were shocked as the last of them collapsed on my chest and yet my flag was still standing. pass me the baton o jare, it’s my turn to take over. O’set was the first to feel my onslaught, I parted her butt cheeks with my hand and began to drill her from behind her moans muffled as she bite into the pillow. I saw priye sprawled in the same position so I began to swap my strokes between the two of them, using my fingers to pleasure one while I ploughed through the other, then exchange cunts after a while. I only stopped after their 4th climax and their cunts were as dry as corn.

Franca fixed a bored look on her face and had the audacity to yawn when it was her turn. I was so mad I withdrew my throbbing dick from her p**sy, snatched a bottle of ointment from the side dresser, oiled my dick and rammed it into her butt hole instead, I ignored her cry of protest and continued my rhythm as her painful moans changed to cried of pleasure.
O’set and priye raised their tired heads to see what was amiss. Curiosity soon overshadowed their disgust, they asked a delirious franca how it felt, I soon had their asses raised up for registration.

A few minutes later, I left the three of them spread-eagle, naked and tired on their large bed, I was drained myself but my excitement at subduing the three so called slay mamas was invigorating.

“Damn you’re good” I heard priye murmur sleepily as I closed the door softly behind me.

I stood gaping at her bouncing booty long after she had shut the door behind her, unbelievable, being straight forward worked for me for once. I whooped and did a little victory dance as I scurried to prepare myself for the coming task ahead, she just issued a challenge to menfolk, it was up to me to defend my gender and I’m not gonna let them down.

I stretched my body the way 400×400m relay sprinters do before the gun fires. I then rummage through lati’s stuff in search of his agbo herbal mixture, priye must testify today today.

To my frustration , I found two identical bottles and I could recollect him saying one was for malaria and the other was the real thing, I dialed his cell phone but the idiot wasn’t picking… arrgghhr. What to do what to do...my time was running out.

“well something must kill man,” I growled and downed a gulp from both bottles. Make the two dey work together.

Thus fortified, I raced up to the cubicle she shares with O’set and the other babe we rarely see around and knocked. The unnamed babe opened instead with a knowing smile on her face as I heard priye’s voice from the interior telling me to come in. I hesitated, was she trying to prank me or what.
Priye walked up to the door herself to pull me in.

“don’t tell me you’re giving up already Bj, you know franca na, she no be stranger” she concluded, pointing at their third rommie.

Franca was stunning. Her heavily lidded eyes that gave a permanent impression of someone just getting out of bed held my gaze as she hummed her greeting. “pleased to meet you” I murmured back. But my surprise was not yet complete cos O’set was also in attendance…what is going on here, I raised a questioning eyebrow at Priye.

“well you promised priye a good time, but we want in on the fun cos I don’t think her hands will be enough to kneed all that dough into bread, don’t you agree franca.” Franca gave her reply with a snap from her chewing gum…(see goobe).

I avoided the girl's place for two to three days, set my restless soul elsewhere; towards priye for instance. Since our ordained meeting by the tap water, we had been flirting non stop.

One fateful hot afternoon, I was stretched shirtless on my bed, headphones on, blasting music away on my laptop without a care in the world and daydreaming about priye and her lithe body when I heard someone knock. Talk of the she-devil herself, it was priye in all her eatable glory.

“I have been knocking for decades, are you keeping a girl in there? She accused jovially.

“hey, sorry about that, I just have my headphone on; no girl in here but there’s one now tho.” I flashed her a smile, getting my flirts on.

“Smooth talker” she rolled her eyes as she brushed past me into the room. “I’d like to borrow your usb cord.”

“that’s all? No other hidden agenda” I faked a frown

“I wouldn’t mind borrowing your bread but it’s kind of asleep at the moment.” she teased, staring boldly at my groin.

“Did you just compare my manhood to a food? I replied her in mock outrage.

"Cassava is taken, so is banana, I had to improvise” she laughed.

“Oh well if that’s the case, the bread needs some baking in your oven, but you have to kneed it to rise.

“Are you sure you got what it takes to go all the way? She angled her head to look me in the face.
Now shit just got real, this has gone beyond harmless flirting. She might be curving me cos girls do that a lot, flirt a minute ago, and then take offence if you jump into the wrong conclusion the next, but I took my chances. Had to see where this leads.

“Look around you,” I whispered so she could lean closer to hear me better (strategy aye) “the air is around us is thick with oppressed sexual tension, I don’t know about you but I want a taste of you. Your soft lips, (I traced a finger across her lower lip as she shuddered) the smooth curve of your neck, (I breath down her neck as I planted a soft kiss on her shoulder, I could feel another shudder race down her spine) I then drew back to look her in the eyes. “the ball is in your court cos all i need is a yes to make a brother's dream reality.”

“Damn you’re good” she blew out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding as she fanned her face with her hand. “but most guys are all chest beating and no action, like I said, if you got what it takes………meet me in my room in 5mins” she smirked and wiggled out of my room.

“With a smile like that, you should know say no be only apple dey make man fall, and whereas don’t they ever warned you gorgeous ones not to smile like that at strange men?”

“Not if the said strange man is hotter than pie” she mused. We both smiled and said nothing else but that smile definitely held a lot of promises, she came to our school cos she was bored, she shall not be disappointed.

A few moments later, I was ready to take her to her cousins place. Left to my own, I would have trekked the distance so I had to shed some inward tears for the money I budgeted for garri and kulikuli as I flagged down a bike. We soon arrived at our destination as a worried omotola met us at the door.

“Omg simi where did you keep your phone, I’ve been calling for ages.” She said as they both hugged and did the squeals that girls do when they have not seen each other for more than two days and above.

“my phone died, thanks to wale (coughs), I figured out err bioye’s place, so here I am.”

I left them to their reminisce and headed in to check on Priscilla, I found her by her bed side reading table eating through her books.

“Hey” I smiled, she was startled but quickly recovered and smiled back looking bashfully away, I grinned wickedly, I suspected she wasn’t that engrossed in her book but was rather reminiscing about our escapade the night before.

“Is lati okay? She asked

“Yeah, he came in this morning.” She blew out a relieved air at this. (Awkward silence)

“Are you okay? I asked

“Yeah I’m fine, and you?

“Good good you?

We both chuckled at this.
“did she bother you about where you spent the night?

“Not exactly, she was too worried about her cousin anyway.”

Just then omotola and simisola bustled in chatting gaily putting an end to further conversation.
Omotola asked simi if I was well behaved when she showed unannounced at my door to which she smirked and said I was as meek as an angel. She then reproached her cousin for not warning her about how cute I was, my head sha no go swell burst.

I couldn’t help but notice the way she greeted priscilla and the way the latter responded, they seemed to have some untold history between the three of them, (Interesting).
The air was so tense that omotola began to discuss the disastrous comedy show maybe to bring down the tension a notch, that was a bad idea. I quickly got up to say my goodbyes before two plus two resulted to asking where Priscilla spent the night.

“so soon bioye, I cooked some rice and plantain o” omotola said. (Don’t risk it don’t risk it-but its rice and dodo-there will be other rice and dodo later-move guy move… abort abort)

“Thanks babe, but have got some place I ought to be, and I’m already running late.”

“Okay, can I come over later, I missed you.” I noticed Priscilla stiffened at this.

“Not today babe, you know you’re not gonna come back tonight if you do come, whereas you and your cousins got stuffs to catch up on.”

“oh okay” she said trying hard to cover her disappointment. As simisola looked on in amusement, I needed to get out of there fast.

“bye bioye and thanks for taking me in.” she hollered as I made good my escape.

Someone knocked on our door, I had never been so eager to go open a door in my life the way I raced off just to avoid further questions from lati.
A faintly familiar drop-dead gorgeous chic greeted me with a smile.

“hello, please is this where bioye lives?”

“I’m bioye, I hope I’m not responsible for your pregnancy.” She frowned at this, rigid grim oshi, she didn’t find my humor funny.

“I’m omotola’s cousin, I was hoping you could take me to her place.”

“hold up, how come you know where I live and not hers?

“Well are you not her boyfriend?” she said looking at me as if I was dumb or something.

“that does not answer the fact that you knew my place,” I fired back, my patience was beginning to wane.

She must have noticed the change in my countenance cos she quickly explained how she got my address. Turned out she and omotola’s main dude were from the same school and got my details from him, thanks to me housing him for a week. I bristled as she mentioned the guy’s name and the way she smirked as if she knew a private joke I wasn’t in on, well news flash girl, I know what you know that you think I don’t know, and a new turn of events you might not know of yet, YOU JUST GOT REGISTERED INTO THE GAME.
I then flashed my most charming smile as I welcomed her in.

Her name was Simisola, third year computer science major, her own school in the neighboring town were having an indefinite strike curtsey of their non-teaching staff so she came to while away the time at her cousin’s. The resemblance between her and omotola was uncanny, the only difference was that she was lighter skinned and busty, thankfully lati was already snoring as she wrinkled her nose down at him in disapproval I wondered what she would think of him awake when his sleeping annoyed her.
I excused myself to take a quick shower without offering her a sit or something just to show her how low my opinion was of her.
She must have noticed we started off on a wrong foot so she tried to make amends as soon as I got out of the bathroom to dress.

“Nice place you have here.”

I grunted my thanks as I applied cream to rub on my body, I had purposely skipped that part from the bathroom just to get a reaction from her, na my room, I no fit dey hide dress inside bathroom cos of you, if you no like am excuse yourself outside.

Her reaction instead was unexpected as I dramatically rubbed my torso like they do in cream adverts.

“you’ve got a nice body, I wonder how you guys keep fit with the way you eat.”

“huh thanks, not all guys eat wantonly though.” I replied.
since she wanted to be straightforward with her leer I gave her my full attention as I also appraised her feature.

“you’re not bad yourself, many girls take way too much effort to get that banging body, they might as well starve.”

She didn’t blush like Priscilla would nor frown in disapproval like omotola would, she simply smiled seductively as she held my gaze as I consciously rubbed the same arm for two minutes without realizing it…this girl go tear gan Oo.

Out of respect for Priscilla, I will not disclose our explicit romp, I’m gonna be leaving that to the reader’s imagination.

By the time I woke up the next day, she was already gone and Lati wasn’t back, I felt guilt ferrets for not finding out if he was okay or not and I was relieved when he replied his call on the first ring, told me he was fine and he was on his way home. Having got that settled, I laid back down to ponder.

They said revenge is a dish best served cold, oddly satisfying. seducing omotola’s bff was supposed to be the zenith of my plans but instead of elation I felt empty. Oh well I don’t necessarily have to derive pleasure from what I was doing to get my pound of flesh after all I am human not a monster but she had to pay for making a fool out of me.
A knock on the door cut through my thinking. That must be lati, I thought as I rushed to the door. He strolled in without a care in the world like he didn’t start a war the night before and collapsed on his bed.

“Guy what happened last night, I thought you were a goner after that stunt you pulled.” He laughed at this and began to recount his ordeal. He had been pursued backstage and would have been done for but the other comedians who also had a score to settle for their humiliation came to his rescue as they beat up the ringleader like a traditional drum.

“I hope say they no sabi your address sha, cos I will not hesitate to give you up to save my own skin if they paid us a visit.”

“you no fit ogbeni, how prissi? I hope she’s alright.”

“yeah she’s fine.” I coughed.

We managed to escape unscath as the fights took to the streets and then escalated into a full blown royal rumble.

Flushed and panting, we raced for my place and locked ourselves in.

“I hope lati is going to be alright” Priscilla was concerned.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s gotten himself out of situations worse than this.” I said and burst into laughter, she soon joined as we both collapsed on the rug giggling uncontrollably.

“that was unbelievable, been a while since I had this so much fun, thank you.” Her smile made my stomach churn as I struggled to conjure a reply.

I tried not to look into her eyes in case I fell into them, I choose her neck as pinpoint instead and instantly regretted it, the sweat from all our running was sleek on her glossy skin as my eyes dreamily followed a sweat stream down towards her heaving bosom, then I realise there was no turning back from this once i was commited.

I then tried to resist, redeem my raging conscience for a final time, she had least deserved that.

“Priscilla”. I started, taking my eyes off her cleavage to talk to her. But everything I had wanted to say was lost as I saw her eyes, glassy and half lidded with desire. Like she was also fighting her own personal war to which she had just lost.

“No regrets” was all her husky voice could manage before she crushed her lips into mine.

I chuckled rather nervously to ease the tensed air, as they all frowned bemused, i guess Priscilla's use of english was way complicated for their brain to decide whether they were being insulted or not.

Their ring-leader instead choose to ignore her as he turned to adress me. "Guyman control your babe." they then shifted their attention back to the stage.

Priscilla bristled at this and would have released another barrage of insults had i not quickly calmed her down by placing a hand on hers. "It's not worth it, i pleaded

It was soon time for lati to be announced and he swaggered in as Priscilla and i rose up to holler and applause in encouragement, he began to do his thing as he soon got the crowd swaying with laughter.
Things might have ended well had the big bad boys held their peace but they soon became restless and began to interuppt lati's session with hoots and boos.
This annoyed lati and he swiftly retaliated by using them as butts of his jokes causing quite an uproar of laughter at their expense.

Being at the receiving end of the lash they had been serving out did not go down well with the boys as a used plastic bottle was thrown at lati with so much precision that he was smacked soundly between his eyes.
In outrage, he retaliated by hurling back his mic and ring-leaders cap went askew as the projectile located his big head.

Then all hell broke loose as his gang began to beat up everyone, some group of guys retaliated and it began to rain projectiles as bottles, shoes and chairs were exchanged

I quickly grab hold of Priscilla's hand as we joined the panicky crowd rushing towards the exit

Different kind of folks get drawn to comedy shows.

The fun raisers, they’re just present to spend a sliver of their time laughing away and enjoy themselves at the same time, they are the normal ones.

The sad spots, these ones have a problem. Financial, spiritual, emotional…they needed a bit of laugh to forget for a little while.

The rigid grims, this ones, no hope dey for them…their jolly nerve ending are dead and buried. You see them in comedy videos stone face and impassive while others are spilling their guts with laughter. Why bother come at all I always say.

And lastly the spoilsports, now these ones are the worst. They are party-poopers and preys mostly on comedians. They booed and hooted at every joke and acted bored to feel good about their miserable selves, you know our lives suck, why not frustrate others in return. They are upcoming comedians stuff of nightmares and have ruined careers faster than they grow. And that night they were out in droves like vultures to the stink of a rotten carcass.

We managed to find a sit with a close enough view of the stage behind some loud mouthed group of tough looking guys swinging alcohols from plastic bottles. “Party-poopers,” I mused “today is going to be interesting.”

The event host got the show on the road as he announced the first unfortunate performer, a nervous looking slim dude. I was right all along as he tough guys quickly smelt weakness and went in for the kill.

“good evening ladies and gentlemen, how una dey?”

“what’s so good about the evening.” One of the tough guys hollered back as the audience laughed. From that moment, the poor guy unraveled as he rushed through his jokes, and was quickly booed off the stage.

-see as he slim like stock fish

-better find another calling guy cos comedy no be your way

-as you kukuma resemble fishing rod, go back you village go fish.

They hurled abuses as they roared with laughter causing quite a stir as the event manager tried desperately to bring things back into control.

“That was not very nice, if you think you’re funny why not go up there with your big mouths.”

Alakoba Priscilla commented loudly enough for the guys to hear.
I almost denied her on the spot, as the guys turned around to glare at us.

“fine girl you dey talk to us? Their ringleader drawled.

I was about uttering a quick apology but was abruptly cut off by pricislla as she glared back undaunted at the them.

“you heard me the first time, go up there if you got what it takes to be in the spot light, rather than hide in the crowd feeling vain about yourselves.”

For my mind, I don dey calculate the probability of succeeding if I hurl priscilla on my shoulders and race out the hall before they can catch us, or leave her to her own device by saving my own skin. As per honor nah if it all comes to blow, everybody expects me to defend her without bothering about who started the fight in the first place and the odds of me surviving against 4 rough looking guys was slim.

I breezed through the week absent minded, I know some of y’all be like, oh no not Priscilla, and I wished I could write something positive like I got jumped by Jehovah’s witnesses and my life was renewed, or something karmatic like okada jam me break my leg, drained the bad juice from my life. And thus Priscilla was saved from my machinations.
Sorry to disappoint…nothings changed.

Roll on to Sunday, I had spent the week getting pestered to the point of committing suicide by lati’s persistent frets.

Lati: guy hear dis joke gimme honest opinion weda e funny abi e no funny……(delivers joke.)

Ha-ha guy you try you try

Lati: forget say I be your padi, your laff too oversabi jor, you no fit help me win this competition with this attitude.

Okay you want true opinion abi

Lati: yes o don’t hold back

That joke sucks, if my late gran papa hear am for hin burial, e go comot coffin seize mic from your hand.

Lati: God punish your local govt, idiot…help me gauge joke nah I ask you for, no discourage me

Hahaha Come o…no be you talk say you want honest opinion ni

Lati: gerrout jor, motola’s puppy

Low blow dude! Not funny

Sunday evening, I met Priscilla at the event entrance, I could remember gaping at her in astonishment when she stalked over to meet me. She was dressed in a casual jean and tee shirt, purposely short enough for her tall frame to expose her flat tommy and belly button.
She was as stunning as a runway model, prior to that moment I could simply blame this to my short sightedness and cos omotola took away most of my attention, and partly because Priscilla’s chosen wardrobe had always been loose unattractive clothing that mostly hid her curves, and gave her the impression of a broomstick.

“You look stunning.” I said truthfully as she bashfully murmured her thanks. offering her my hand, I led her into the already filled hall. I held on to her hand as I shouldered a path for her through the bustle of bodies to find a sit, a subtle act of endearment there, ladies love the hand holding shenanigans. passes all kind of message like, she’s mine to protect, back off. saves a lot where talking is needed.

P.s do not try it on random passerby or ladies you don’t really connect with, it won’t end well; you either get slapped or called a perv.

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Kaymercury:
no more update

tomorrow sir

d1ckr0man:

guy why u no mention me when you update na no try am next time ooo mention me for your next update ooo

lool....no vex bro, if i forget next time make i delete everything