@ Chaircover.

Apologies for my outburst. It was uncalled for. You are clearly not illiterate but I'm angry that I'm being accused of being a soft touch etc. It's a difficult time. Sorry again!

They bury their heads in the sand and blame the other woman. For some bizarre reason they feel that their poor husband was roped into a reluctant affair, blaming the biatch mistress rather than thinking straight that it is infact the husband who messed up his wedding vows & sold his family for peanuts and not the mistress.

@Chaircover Are you illiterate? Read my comments properly before you start making foolish comments. Where did I ever say that my husband was roped into an affair? - My husband messed up big time! This relationship may not survive his infidelity. My head is not buried, my eyes are clean. I think it's fair for me to presume you are not in a long term relationship, married or otherwise. I pray you never have to endure something like this but if you do, your reaction to your mate won't be what you think it would be.

Why do I have a feeling this lady is mixed?

No honey! I'm black!
The best advise I've been given on this thread is by Chyket.
Thanks everyone for your opinion - especially those in their glass houses
God is good!
Thread closed!

@ Outstrip -I am still wondering why a father of four is hanging out at night clubs getting drunk and why his wife seems to be blaming everything and everyoen else except her husband

Just because someone is a father of 4 doesn't mean they are old and shouldn't be going out to enjoy themselves. Me and my husband, who is still relatively young by the way, have always partied together. If you had read the post properly, you would have noticed that I had just had a baby at the time he strayed. The fact that he actually went out without me at that time is still something that we argue about although I am aware that we were having a few problems at that time and living in this certain part of Europe has taken its toll on both of us. And I don't know where you get the idea that I am blaming everyone else apart from him. Do you live in our house? Do you know what we have gone through since this has happened? Do you really think he would just say sorry and I would accept it and everything would be ok like it was before - get real. It's been hell for us. He did what he did by choice - drunk or otherwise. There is absolutely no excuse for it! This is something, as husband and wife, that we are going to have to work through for the next few years or so if we survive that long.
The white girl confirmed that the condom had split and that it was a one off! However, she refused to take the morning after pill the next day to avoid any possible pregnancy. He gave her one of his email addresses for her to contact him to confirm that she had taken it. He didnt hear from her for a while until she decided to disclose that she was pregnant and wanted to keep the baby as she was getting old (30!) He didnt answer her mails and she kept sending them complaining that he wasn't helping her throughout her pregnancy etc. She is cheeky! Did she really expect that he would leave me to go and rub her swollen feet? She got what she wanted but is now harrassing him like she is the wife and he is living with his mistress. This is a case of fatal attraction! He doesnt comunicate with her at all and and I know this by what she writes in the mail that she hasnt seen him since that night etc. However since he mentioned DNA she seems to have gone a bit quiet. We need to know if the child is his or some other foolish black man. If it's his then we will do what we have to do. If not, good luck with her trying to find her baby daddy! Hope she teaches the child to keep her legs closed when it comes to other peoples husbands. I dont know what it is with these white bitches and Nigerian men.

There's no affair-that's obvious from what she wrote him via email. It was definately a one off with her. Im also not gullible but am compassionate! Yeah he did wrong, hurt me terribly like noone would ever know but at the same time he's my husband and he made a stupid mistake. I haven't quite forgiven him yet and will never ever forget this. He hasn't and won't get off from this lightly. Don't underestimate me! Will he do it again? Who knows. but I do know that one chance is about the best he will get from me and in all honesty he's lucky to even be getting that!

We are not running away but if this hasn't been resolved by the time we have to leave this Europe then it's too bad - it wil all have to be dealt with long distance!

Omega25red
We are not trying to escape anything! Remember I said it was my husband who wants the DNA test. The gyal was angry about that so it makes him more suspicious. In any event she wanted a black baby at any cost so she should get on with it. If it turns out to be his then so be it.

Don't do it! They will check your document with the bank and you  will get refused for sending forged papers.  If you apply for visa again you will be banned for 10 years from the date of your last application.

Thread closed.

You didn't go wrong! It's hard to maintain a relationship from a distance. You now have to go through the grieving process but then move on. Trying to get answers from her will just prolong your pain. You sound decent - not having cheated on her despite the distance. That is special. You will find someone nice but don't go on the hunt. Just take it easy. You'll be fine o!