₦airaland Forum

uboma:
Another senseless advice from a gullible fellow.

I can see the highly sensible advice you gave her as a highly intellectual fellow!
God uses the foolish things of this world to confound wise people like you!
What you know nothing about, it's best to keep quiet about it cos even a fool is considered wise when he is silent!
Please respect yourself!

So sorry for your pain dear..please buy the book Supernatural Childbirth and take all the confessions inside daily..I am yet to see any woman waiting for a child that faithfully read and made the confessions in that book that didn't carry her own children! You will testify of God's goodness soonest!

Cheer up cos you are next in line for a miracle!

I'm so sorry to say this but you are acting VERY DUMB!! What manner of iberiberism is this? Gosh!! I'm so pissed off I can't even get myself together to advise you!! Continue to donate your brain and ability to think for yourself to him until he reduces you to a beggar and a debtor! Nonsense!!

My pulse raced as I read all you wrote cos I could clearly see a young woman making costly mistakes and about to make the costliest one that she will look back in less than 10 years from now and wonder how she got there..

What happened to your self worth and basic common sense? Why should a man who is not married to you be calculating your periods for you so he can get you pregnant for free? Do you think motherhood and marriage is child's play? Do you have a tangible source of income to cater for yourself and a child? What your boyfriend is asking you to do clearly shows you his character and what he stands for and you are too blinded by puppy love to see it for what it is!

He is using your brain and you are allowing him to use it! At 22, what's the rush? His sisters followed to warn you to leave their brother alone and you are still smiling and entering into fire?
Start by telling your mum you guys have been dating and want to get married and listen with an open heart all her reservations against him and truthfully ask yourself if they are really true or not before you take the next step which should definitely not be getting pregnant before marriage except you want to play with hot burning fire!!

Incase you didn't read all that I typed above, let me summarize it for you: Tomorrow is the sum total of our decisions today!
I pray God to give you wisdom!

Hmmmn..there's so much to tell you but so little facts to work with...for now, my advice would be to delay having kids with him for now if you don't already have one.
With someone that keeps malice like that, and gives you the silent treatment so early in the marriage (not that it is okay later in marriage), you would be in for a very long ride of pain, hurt and pure anguish..best not to complicate it with kids in the picture.

There are so many angles to look at this from like others have said; he could be cheating, he was pretending before, he's a narcissist, or just a boy in a man's body or perhaps you ticked him off the wrong way and he decided to ' teach you a lesson'.
Whichever one it is, delay childbearing(thankfully sex is not even regular again sef) and give your young marriage a fighting chance cos I believe you love him.
Please buy the book 'The Power of a Praying wife' by Stormie Omartian and diligently pray for these negative attitudes and let's see how that goes. While you wait, play the psychological game with him properly and don't feed his excesses. If nothing changes, which I seriously doubt going by the efficacy of that book, then we'll go back to the drawing table for the next line of action.

If you already have a child for him, still follow through with all I said before but brace yourself for a bumpier ride, delay the next baby and wait it out a while.
Hope this helps and may God give you and your marriage the peace,joy and direction you need...

You just spoke my mind!!
I couldn't have said it better!
It seems like there's an increasing trend of women treating their husbands like trash and getting away with it and the lovestruck husbands taking nonsense and empowering rubbish behaviour!
No sex for 3months! And she's still in that house and not sick or bedridden! What nonsense!! Mtcheeeewww

DukeNija:
You don buy market. You still love her so much? Loool.
Your wife is in charge of your home, and your life. She runs it as she deems fit and you can’t do anything about it. 3months without sex? Are you sure you are not under a spell?
No man or woman deserves to be treated this way and not one who provides for his family. You need to take charge of your home. Take control and demand the respect and loyalty you deserve. Shout down, burn down, break down, tear down and destroy whatever stands in the way.
Your wife needs a small dose of your inner demon to bring her back to factory settings. It’s not too late to regain control.
If you have been a good and faithful husband, then you have a right to raise hell. It’s obvious you are a softie, women like this prey on softies. If you want to live long, you need to take action.
From the look of things, it’s very obvious your wife doesn’t love you. probably never did. You might also need to consider walking away if everything fails. People will suggest having a heart to heart with your wife; it’s pointless. You don’t ask or beg for love and respect; you earn it or take it by force.

Hi dear, I don't think you should let this worry you one bit cos I also love to eat buka rice just because of the beans and peppery stew! If I had a mama put close to me that I loved the texture and consistency of their beans, I would do the very same thing anytime I want to eat rice. It just makes the rice so satisfying!
I won't bother myself trying to learn how to cook it cos it's way easier to just buy it. It has nothing to do with your cooking dear cos I'm a woman, I cook well yet I still crave it..
If it ticks you off so much, you can limit the number of times you make rice meals and when you do, it won't take anything away from you to just buy it and add to his rice for him..he loves it that way, you love him and he loves you right back!
Hope this helps..

Hi Goodkay, so u finally get me to comment on nairaland! Phew! You try no be small ..ok so here goes..first of all, calm down okay? You will be fine..eventually. .I can't dictate to you how many kids you should have, but I think your load would have been lighter if you postponed having a 3rd baby until your family's finances improved but now that we are here, here's what I think you should do:
1. If you haven't been using a budget, draw up one NOW detailing everything you really need to spend money on and knock off every frivolous expenses.
2. If you have not been saving anything from your salary, please start NOW and in time, you would be able to take care of yourself better.
3. Do you have family or a good friend close by? Let them assist you in whatever way they can so you can get by this weekend at least and run the test today.
4. You will have to sit with your husband and readjust the family 'roaster' of who does what since a new baby is in the mix and so responsibilities have to be reshuffled..If he is in charge of electricity bills, why do you still have to pay them once in a while? Also why does it have to be your duty to take care of everything for the new baby? How did you guys arrive at that decision? And you agreed to it?
5. I have been through some stuff lately myself financially but it has sharpened my managerial skills better such that am able to plan, cook and manage my home on very lean resources and still make fantastic meals and keep my family healthy..This means that you have to be deliberate about how you want to feed your house, stock up on provisions, etc, for the whole month..Develop a plan that suits your family's peculiar needs and stick to it.
6. Woman up! If you let yourself get a high BP, who bears the brunt? Ignore your husband's insults and look up to God for more streams of income and practicalize the few tips I have given you, and I know you would be doing way better in a few months..
Cheers!