₦airaland Forum

. quote author=cococandy post=92293874]

Like if you guys get married and then you don’t have money anymore?

Will you divorce her because you don’t have money or you think she’ll leave you because you don’t have money?

Either way, I was under the assumption that the oath is supposed to be about you being faithful to her after marriage like she’ll be to you based on your tradition.

Let’s assume that such oaths do work. You having money or not isn’t supposed to affect anything unless the lack of money is going to make you cheat on her maybe with a richer woman.

If she’s suggesting a blood covenant that requires you to be with her forever in addition to not cheating on her then she’s asking for more than your tradition is demanding from her.

But on a serious note, if you guys really love each other, could please kindly disabuse your minds of these petty superstitions that rob you of your happiness? And you can just be happy together instead of believing that some unseen diabolical things have power over you?

I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m not respecting your beliefs but it’s coming from a place of kindness. There’s so much unnecessary worry and anxiety you can do away with if you let go of these restrictive superstitions.[/quote]. Thanks for your contribution. We discussed about it and I believe it won't be a problem. Right now thinking of a biz that is profitable so I can meet up with life.

Ishilove:
The two of you are unserious

. We are dead serious

cococandy:
OP what is your main concern?

. If I take oath with her, but I am not financially ok to be with her, what happened next?

Kobojunkie:
Trust is a word that has been used and abused by human beings, so it really means nothing as far as humans are concerned. Humans, by default, are not built to be trusted by definition, that is what makes us humans.
You have a safe-guard of your own, an age-old tradition which you refuse to disavow, even though you claim not to believe in it, why not give her hers?

. I give thought of your suggestion.

Kobojunkie:
Boxing you? I have simply told you what has always been in front of you all this while. She wants equality in her relationship. You claim you want that too... so what do you have a problem with?

. Going to the way of oath taking, can she just trust me?

Kobojunkie:
Well, it does not matter, since your wife-to-be has found a way of balancing the traditional equation for the both of you. So, what is it going to be? Take a blood oath with her or lose her? You decide!
I personally hope she does not go back on her stand.

. I came online for mature advice but you are boxing me

Kobojunkie:
Well, you already believe in your mind that your blood is somehow tied to the tradition that is your state of origin. So, she is right in demanding an equal blood oath with her.

. You don't get do you? Either you believe in it or not, if your wife should cheat on her marriage, calamity will befall that family.

Kobojunkie:
You want to 'wife her' without dealing with that which concerns her?

. So should I fellow her to take oath or what do you want me to do?

Kobojunkie:
Yes you can. I did it ! I am a Nigerian myself and there are cultures and traditions associated with where I am from but mentally and physically, I have abandoned all that to those who care for them.
It is up to you to decide for yourself what defines you as a person, and that is a life-long exercise. That you were born in a state does not mean your mental ideals and world ought to be defined by it.

You don't understand, there are things you as an individual can't do anything.

Kobojunkie:
Yes you can. I did it ! I am a Nigerian myself and there are cultures and traditions associated with where I am from but mentally and physically, I have abandoned all that to those who care for them.
It is up to you to decide for yourself what defines you as a person, and that is a life-long exercise. That you were born in a state does not mean your mental ideals and world ought to be defined by it.

. Yeah we have to evolve. My major concerns is how to wife her.

Kobojunkie:
So? Then choose, will you continue to remain tied to that which you claim to be against?

. Even though I don't believe in it, I still can't change anything

Kobojunkie:
Last, I checked, the female species in Nigeria are still regarded as sub-humans in Nigeria, so what I see that she did is try to 'secure' her future should you later change your mind about your 'age-old' tradition. I have heard enough stories of Nigerians going back on their claims in the name of tradition myself, so I believe that taking the oath to reassure her or you could sign an affidavit of sorts to disavow every traditional and cultural idea that creates inequality between your person and your wife. But yeah, I think your wife to be is wise on this one.
What financial obligation? You mean to marry her? Have you two considered registry marriage at all?

. This particular tradition works in my State

Kobojunkie:
Then you should open your eyes. Do you know that a majority of your Nigerian men believe in equality but they will never sign to have it made law?

. I think that has to do with fear of unknown. I am positive about life so I am not afraid of a lady having equal rights with me or some sort of equity

Kobojunkie:
Last, I checked, the female species in Nigeria are still regarded as sub-humans in Nigeria, so what I see that she did is try to 'secure' her future should you later change your mind about your 'age-old' tradition. I have heard enough stories of Nigerians going back on their claims in the name of tradition myself, so I believe that taking the oath to reassure her or you could sign an affidavit of sorts to disavow every traditional and cultural idea that creates inequality between your person and your wife. But yeah, I think your wife to be is wise on this one.
What financial obligation? You mean to marry her? Have you two considered registry marriage at all?

I must do traditional marriage before registry marriage if not her parents won't give consent

Kobojunkie:
I believe she is trying to tell you that she wants to be an EQUAL partner in your marriage relationship.

Since you have your 'age old tradition' which is one-sided, her blood oath suggestion is meant to even the playing field so she is not left out in the cold, tradition-wise, should you two choose to agree to move forward in the relationship.
Your woman is wise there...

. I am not against taking oath with her but 1 to a learned mind, it doesn't make sense
2: what if I don't meet up with financial obligation in time?

frozen70:
In the olden days, men made somany traditions to put women under their control and dictates, which made married women to be under their authorities

Men knows that they will always cheat and don't want any man to cheat on their wives, simply because they don't trust their fellow men

Now, all those things are fading away.

Children of this generation are born and raised outside their village culture and traditions and doesn't understand why all those silly traditions on women should hold in the first place

Men on the other side are not really faithful to the traditions their fore fathers set because it comes with some rules and they are not really ready to keep the rules

So it's a two way action

you are right

frozen70:
You want her to know the consequences of being in an unfaithful marriage, in other words, you want her to be faithful, good

She wants a blood oat from you so that you too will be faithful to her and you are scared of it, good

My question is, within you, are you ready to remain faithful with just only her in your marriage?

If you are ready, take the oat with her and she will kerp by the tradition of your people

If you know you can't help it, just let her go and get a woman from your town who understands the tradition while you have your freedom to cheat as a man

. If I have to go under oath to prove my faithfulness and love then I don't have problem with it.

mariahAngel:
Abeg!
No be the same Akwa Ibom wey dey throway children say dem be winch?
Very diabolical set of humans.

. Not everyone. Stop the stereotype.

StacyO:
Why only women??

I just don't fancy 98% of some traditions here.

. I am not in support of it but it is what it is.

mariahAngel:
I'd run and never look back if I were her!
What manner of diabolism!
Age long tradition y'all's black asses!

. If you don't plan to be unfaithful in your marriage, then no cause for concern

mumumugu:
it is fear used to prevent women from cheating in those days. it foes not work

. It does work believe me

Kobojunkie:
I believe she is trying to tell you that she wants to be an EQUAL partner in your marriage relationship.

Since you have your 'age old tradition' which is one-sided, her blood oath suggestion is meant to even the playing field so she is not left out in the cold, tradition-wise, should you two choose to agree to move forward in the relationship.
Your woman is wise there...

. I believe in equity so I don't see reasons why she is panic

NerdyRudeGyal:
If your story is true, then her suggestion is only fair.

. I don't believe in those tradition but but suggestions doesn't sit well with me

annex1:
The same Akwa Ibom I know? And everyone in the state is not yet dead?

Yes! I mean what I'm implying!

yes it exists but it depends on the part of Akwa Ibom

Sirjames001:
Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime.
I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words
She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love.
Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids.
She wasn't comfortable with it at all.
Her reason is because it only affects women not men.
Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways?
She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat.
Please I need advice.
Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place.

. She is putting the relationship on hold, until she make up her mind if to go ahead with me or leave.
I will accept any of her decision though I love her but what is important to me now is self development. I believe love come when a man is ok.

Sirjames001:
Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime.
I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words
She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love.
Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids.
She wasn't comfortable with it at all.
Her reason is because it only affects women not men.
Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways?
She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat.
Please I need advice.
Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place.

. She is putting the relationship on hold, until she make up her mind if to go ahead with me or leave.
I will accept any of her decision though I love her but what is important to me now is self development. I believe love come when a man is ok.

Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime.
I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words
She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love.
Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids.
She wasn't comfortable with it at all.
Her reason is because it only affects women not men.
Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways?
She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat.
Please I need advice.
Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place.

Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime.
I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words
She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love.
Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids.
She wasn't comfortable with it at all.
Her reason is because it only affects women not men.
Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways?
She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat.
Please I need advice.
Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place.

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Sirjames001:
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. Talk to us today. We deliver within 48 hours. AGO (diesel) nnpc standard.

Sirjames001:
At Funjames pet investment,we bring to the doorstep of Nigerian NNPC standard AGO (DIESEL)at pocket friendly price.
With BG and IPO, YOU MAKE PAYMENT AFTER TESTING AND DELIVERY.
We handle bulk quantities, vessel to vessel, truck to office and factory
We also buy from vessel and tank farm.
For more information talk to us today on 08030719957.

. Urgently looking for a sub contractor who can handle bridge in Akwa Ibom State. Contract worth 600000000(six hundred million). Talk to me on this number 08030719957.

At Funjames pet investment,we bring to the doorstep of Nigerian NNPC standard AGO (DIESEL)at pocket friendly price.
With BG and IPO, YOU MAKE PAYMENT AFTER TESTING AND DELIVERY.
We handle bulk quantities, vessel to vessel, truck to office and factory
We also buy from vessel and tank farm.
For more information talk to us today on 08030719957.