₦airaland Forum

Why don't they have Association of Cultists' Mothers like they did for association of Yahoo 🤡

letskeeptalking:
He tells people I'm the best thing that ever happened to him, so people never get it when I say I want to leave.

I don't think I will ever stop loving him. Despite everything, I chose this man, and it was real love for me. But I know that I deserve better, and he's incapable of change. It's not his fault too. I don't blame him, he is who he is . . You have to be living with some pretty heavy demons to become that way!

Your previous decisions have been reasonable. I mean, still giving him the chance to get back to his senses. He needs some time to grow and this is not about age. I guess because of familiarity, he has taken the current situation for granted. Men love the chase and sometimes when you are not available, they will have to find you. He will look for you. Even when men step out, they know who is a good woman and you sound like one. Let the other women show him small shege but never lower your standards because as much as a good man is a good example for daughters, the decisions you take will guide your daughters in future as well. The man who's not disciplined cannot be cautioned. The temporary separation may give him the space to think and live in his own thoughts and really decide if he can really walk the talk. You are not his mother and you cannot raise an adult. They have to come to their own senses to accept responsibility and accountability.

I always tell men to always improve themselves, keep getting better but no kill yourself for women o lol. I can see you complained about how relaxed he is but I have heard women complain about this. The man they married vs the man he has become. Let him meet you to your new standards because it's for his own benefit and his own good. Listen to this video below when you can. Signs of narcissists are there and how to handle them. Meanwhile, involve your family and give those children a sense of love and community. They don't understand everything that's going on for now but as your daughter is getting to the teenage stage, she is going to face influence at school and boy-girl matters will come up. Which is why the father figure is very important. Children are often impressionable until they get sense. So do not play his own game. What some women do is use the anger in their relationship to shape the mind of the child and you now have bitter children who are feminists and redpillers giving advice on man and woman because they lacked love and structure when they were young. Create an environment of care and standards for the children and you too should get help in this trying time.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPVdK9v0CK8

I still see a ray of hope in this relationship but it will have to go through some bitter washing mode before the clothes come clean! It's that wisdom and tact in this current chapter that you need (to ask God for) while writing the story in your book of life.

The reason I asked you for the church you go to is because of what will people say. Nigerians are very good at public display of good character but you don't know a man until you live with him or do business with him. There is a danger of a single story and the usual Nigerian way of being sentimental instead of calling bad behaviour out. Whether you like it or not, people will judge you. What you must do is ask yourself DO I LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH?


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7363741629842279722

At this stage, I think he needs a reality check. Your family needs it. Sometimes, a temporary separation makes us understand reality and like junkie said, this environment is not healthy for your daughters. When we have a distance relationship and we don't have an environment that checks our childish behaviour, we are woken to reality. You have seen all the signs and past behaviours. What I will recommend you do this time is let the families meet and mention the problem before taking your decision. Make sure you record it and write it. It is easy for people to make judgment and of course each family will support their child. Record it and write it just the way you are writing to a public forum like this. Write your part, let it be discussed among the family. I am saying this because you come from 🇳🇬 but live in 🇨🇦. You can be free in 🇨🇦 but play your cards well.


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7080170125286051077?

If you want to handle a manipulator, you record their actions and document your steps for posterity sake. Your conscience will be at rest eventually. I wish you and your family the best.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7275126599253577003?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMTqbc6L6BQ

letskeeptalking

What made him go home to beg for you? Is he the type that wants to look good to people outside? Was it about his social status? or did the reality jolt him to his senses? Do you attend 🇳🇬 church there?

You didn't respond to the last question about who he respects and who he looks to. Who are those in his circle of influence?

You are describing a narcissist here but you cannot be a mother to your children and be a mother a man again.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7196265732341058858

I am not one who quickly takes in women and their subs, if you read my posts here, you will see but I also don't tolerate weak men. I champion for men when they are responsible because men's stories are not often loud. I almost went with the last comment junkie gave even though I don't normally agree with her too. Again, at the risk of being judgmental, it is difficult to judge unless one hears both side. Life experiences has taught me this one and it can't fail.

I know it's a lot for you to spill but what has he got to say about you or what were the things he said about you in his own story?

PS: you wrote to the other person that you pity him. Do you still love him? (if he changes for the better)

U09ce:
Why is she feeling over entitled to the moribund Ajaokuta plant? Just because you're the senator of the area doesn't mean that you have to be contacted about issues regarding its revival. The minister himself is also from the state. Allow them to do their jobs. Too many cooks spoil the broth

I'm sorry but you just contradicted yourself. Where else should she be concerned about the most? Auchi or Calabar 🤡

If you know the duty of a senator to represent the people of their constituency, you will revise this comment. Doesn't sound smart. And this is not about Smart Adeyemi. Kogi people don too suffer


[MUST WATCH] Senator Oluremi Tinubu scolds Sen. Smart Adeyemi at NASS plenary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5isePNNupFI

Breaker001:
Next time, be sure you watch the video first, before you hit your keyboard. 😎

Hahaha. I don't think they will get the message you are passing there with that image. Subtle reference

seunowa:
Checkmating the minister doesn't mean one has to be tactless and aggressive but decorum should always be displayed.

. I can tell from this comment you didn't watch the video.

letskeeptalking:
But I have other kids, and even though my oldest is fragile, I worry about about the kind of example I'm setting for the younger ones too. My 7-YO told me that she's never going to get married, that when she's grown and rich, she will just buy kids



I don't think he cares too much about her 'state of mind' . . . He's just one of those men that just don't care about ANYTHING. I don't really want to pass any blames because I know I'm not the best person to live with, but he has said on several occasions that if I leave him I will raise the kids alone. He even told them that if I divorce him, they won't get to see him anymore. I know he's weaponizing them and I didn't care when I left the first time. But he twisted her mind so much that she physically fell sick from anxiety. A lot of things came out during counselling, that I don't want to talk about here, but I strongly believe that he doesn't care about the kids, even though he pretends to, and puts up appearances for appearances sake.

And no, I don't have a son. . . just daughters!

And no, cheating is not the problem. I gave him the go ahead to do that because he wanted a son and I didn't want to have anymore kids . . not for him anyway!



Like I said, I have my issues, but at least I'm aware and I'm working on them. He is refusing to face his, and I can't help him with that. I almost lost myself trying.

My family is aware and they support any decision I make. The first time I left, he went back to Nigeria and went with his family to "beg" for me to return . . made a lot of promises. I think I forgave too quickly.

Thank you for explaining the situation. I can see the manipulative behaviour you described though you have marinated your own behaviour in the carefully chosen words you used.

Telling the kids those stories isn't a good thing at all. I don't believe in using children as a leverage in a relationship that two of you formed before they were brought to this world. I am afraid that he would make matters worse when you are separated, if you two decide to do so. That's the number one mistakes most couples make, they involve the children in their business and it should not be. Your number one job rn is being a parent.

Have you guys gone home together as a family? When he ran home to beg and you forgave him, what did he do that changed your mind? Was it promises or he changed for some time? You have a child who is now asking questions and I was going to see how he will behave in front of family where children don't have filter. It doesn't seem that his family is looking for a male child because that could be a factor. Have you been here before? I remember a thread where someone asked this question about allowing him sleep outside for another child. That's his own problem and I would prefer him to man up about it. Such men will eventually find what they are looking for because in life, dem no de force person, you will find that thing you are looking for and life will humble you or humiliate you. It's called life experience. Your issue seems to have started before he talked about the search for a Prince.

What exactly is the problem? Did his father die early? Was he philandering as a bachelor? Does he have siblings? Are they like this character wise? Was/is his father like this? Do you remember what his vision was about family while you were both in love? Is he in his 50s? Did he change briefly when he came back from Nigeria? Do you know what triggered the lapse? Environment? Has he been a responsible man in the home or he just pays the bills? Does he teach the girls as a father or what role does he play? The father effect is strong for female children and he is the first example of what they see as a MAN.

I am reading your message one more time. Has he sought therapy himself? Alone? Does he have a mentor, formal or informally? An elder from his family. I don't want to believe that you made a mistake because I will assume he was a good guy before he became like this so if you still have anything to help your family (this is not really about love), what caused him to change along the line? Who has an influence on him as a man? Specifically, a man who he looks up to or who he reveres.

letskeeptalking:
1. I guess it’s just the fear of the unknown for me at this point!

2. I definitely know I want better for my kids. But my oldest recently told me that she knows I no longer want to be married to her Dad, but she doesn’t want to be from a broken home. She wanted him to “forgive him” and “give him another chance”. Of course she’s 12, and doesn’t really get it. So it got me thinking if she’s just being a kid, or if she will end up resenting me in the future.

3. I always have a choice, it’s my kids I’m worried about.

1. If you don't try, you won't know but are you ready to pay the price of what you want to try out? That's what makes us adults.

2. Most people stay because of them or pretend to play the role until a stage. This one will stay with you for a long time because we marry our childhood trauma so she is likely to carry this into her own future but her ask is very important to consider, for her mental health. Both of you need to consider this request she made even if you decide to separate or role play because children don't listen to parents, they watch them.

3. Back to number 1 and the crux of the matter.
There have been cases where the couple decided to role play for the kids sake till a certain age. It was a loveless marriage but they created the love story for the kids. You don't go out often as a family, go out once in a month. Create events. Children remember memories and they learn from them.

It isn't easy pretending to be happy when you are not or when you have mentally checked out but if you are so worried about her, that is my suggestion because the cost of your daughter's mental state when you leave is likely going to be more expensive than the current state of affairs. And you know what that means.

Someone told me that my children will love me more in the future when they see what I endured for their sake. But will they, really I mean they see us live seperate lives and they know it’s not right, or they will eventually. Again, what kind of example am I really setting for them?

You are not in a position to tell. Children will eventually grow up and know the truth either way. It will take time but what they need now is a PARENT, not an evaluation of who did right or wrong. You can't predict the future and you can't see how she will view life in the future. What you think is the red line can look blue to her and she will not understand your rationale, so it's better to look at it 360 than what will people say type of decision.

They say it's an old fool who judges a matter listening to one side alone but how has your husband responded to her state of mind that believes mummy and daddy must be good together and what else does he do that makes you fight? Is it the cheating alone or there's something else? Or does stepping out creep into the resentment at home and it causes an argument? Do you have a son?

What childhood trauma are you and him dealing with? Him here is your husband. It's something most of us run away from. What is the family back in Nigeria saying about your issue or they don't know about it yet?

Edit: I could have easily told you to leave and do this and that but because of that child you mentioned, I am careful. The only one I have seen people try is that pretend role and the children never know about it until both partners stop acting the script. Director: cut!

Where are you? Doesn't sound like it's in Nigeria, is it? Your location can shape this story.

REPOST

Meta said you should talk to your neighbours as if they can hear you. That's how you know artificial intelligence from real. Have we tried talking to our governments? How Nigerians became comfortable with this thing is insane, some people use industrial generators that work with diesel. Now everyone is going solar too because of government negligence. Tinubu himself changed the power supply at the Villa to solar. GCFR
Generator Commander of the Federal Republic.



https://www.tiktok.com/video/7532602447609564421

Generator noise is not the loudest of your problems, it is the fumes that are the silent killers and probably one of the reasons for the increase in cancer cases in Nigeria without us knowing. Polynuclear Aromatic Hydrocarbons (PAHs) are a major component of fuel generator fumes. Carcinogenicity of these compounds has long been established. Those pollutants are not safe for your air and direct contact with your skin, water and environment. Imagine sitting behind the exhaust of a vehicle. That's what we are doing to ourselves.
If you cannot sleep well because of the noise, your health is affected. If you cannot hear well, because of the noise, your hearing is affected.
If you cannot breathe well because of the smoke, your health is affected. If you have the money, switch to solar but what sense does that make if you still live in an environment where your neighbours still use generators? You see why Nigerians need to solve this problem as a collective instead of doing I beta pass my neighbour competition.


Who did this to us All I want to say is they don't even care about us

After some time, marriage becomes a chore where you play your roles as husband or wife, father or mother or in laws. In playing various roles, you lose yourself and you forget how to love yourself. Slowly, that person dies. And if you can't give what you don't have, love becomes a drug, which is a dependency on another person, instead of giving it out to the world 💔


At topic, she's testing you. You asked a question, close the survey portal. Don't solve the problem. You are just a passing time. If she wants you, she will leave him. Women love fantasy, don't be an actor in her dreams, wake up and smell the coffee ☕

I just watched Natasha clash with another Senator, now this. Aside from the fact that this Senate is the worst, they don't act like they were schooled. And we have APC to blame. For letting the leadership of the Senate to go to someone as experienced as Akpabio lead the house.

Senator Natasha Walks Out On Committee After Argument With Senator Ndubueze

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yn0Mu_JCPs

APC should use the state resources to help us remove the candidates with questions so we know who is credible enough to challenge Tinubu in the coming elections

I remember when Oshiomole tried to say that just because he was once a Governor, he was a senior in government. His colleagues immediately reminded him that this is the Senate, you are not a senior here. 🤡 Ndume was seated there that day. If you are not careful they will ruin that place with their executive rascality. They had so many sycophants when they were governors so the reality of being among equals in the Senate is not normal to them. You can already see it in Akpabio. If the Senate does not want to ruin itself, stop letting governors who have not been schooled be your leaders but we know those who were chosen and those who were chosen by Una Oga. Listen to Oshiomole, you must listen to me just because I was a Governor. They keep making a phool of themselves because they are so full of themselves.

Oshiomhole to Ndume: Keep Quiet When I Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKxjxjVlPwE

When you hear Akpabio talk, he doesn't talk like someone who represents the people, he talks like he is your master. He talks with disdain, haughty and always insulting others that they don't know how the legislature works 🤡 Saraki was once a Governor and became SP but IYKYK. Let me off my mic 🎤

I thought of this man yesterday

anytexy:
Nawaoo! People are just condemning the Doctor without even reasoning to figure out why he made such suggestion which to me is in order if both parents agree to that

That doesn't make him a family counselor. Brother in law? How's that his business?

Didn't they say he is a democrat? A builder of men? A visionary? That man is just a greedy old man. Who was it that said if you let Tinubu in, he will grab more than he can take? Think about being a landlord of Lagos and Rivers 🤡

The greedy can never be satisfied. What they condemned when they were in opposition, now they are doing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtjpjOPjuUk

Those who wanted to rewrite his story just made me chuckle. Guy didn't want Fashola serve a second term simply because he wanted to be President. He didn't want anyone to have a record to be compared to him or outshine him. They are just lucky Fashola did not show craze like Ambode did, someone they eventually sent away under the guise of GAC. They now claimed that he made Fashola, he built Lagos, Ambode did not follow master plan. You see how their stories are not consistent. They then called Osinbajo a betrayer. These ones are lords and serfs. Those who refuse to learn history are doomed to repeat it

Amaechi's Defection To APC Is Root Of Rivers State Crisis -- Wike Pt.1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaYorTOuZc?si=KB-Qbb9SJ5X5AYK-

I hope this news serves as a warning to the owner of Sahara Reporters too.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJux0aoWUqI

I will keep reposting

This is a BIG HUGE DISGRACE to Nigeria. APC has failed beyond measure. Cowards.

There's no way they want to spin this story even if Tinubu meets King Charles, the people who colonized us. He goes to France more than Macron visits us. What is he running from? I thought this was something they abused Atiku for, saying that he used Saraki's diplomatic immunity to go to US when he eventually went to the US. Mr President, in international diplomacy, equals meet equals. You are our President, abi you no be jagaban again

APC touts the data that Nigeria is the most educated group in the US and they say our president needs to travel for so-called foreign investors. Why is he so scared of the US? It's a cowardly behaviour to put your wife that has no role in international diplomacy when you are the leader. The first family


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd2rlCOO3bs


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIVzzccJyHE


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4Cn47ePFAU

They reduced us to the level of Haiti, Somalia. So sad. I have no nice words for APC because what they did in 2014-15 is documented. Wicked souls. When two brothers fight over inheritance, it is the stranger who takes their father's house. They sabotaged this country's sovereignty back then and look at where we are today. Jonathan was so hit, and I didn't support him but you will think the critics were any better. No, they are worse. That's why they are cowards. They got the power and abused it. When Jonathan said they were bitter, you will think this was election sound bites but listen to it again, he is so right:

Jonathan Slams APC, Says There's "Bitterness In Thier Hearts"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32aKgc0j0Ws



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtjpjOPjuUk

Elimination process has begun. I like this. You may hear El Rufai in this too. Since we are now using the US for our elections and not UK anymore, this fight go long. I like it

Obi/Saraki recommended

PheelzAlmighty:
Nigeria has been reduced to a comedic contraption

They reduced us to the level of Haiti, Somalia. So sad. I have no nice words for APC because what they did in 2014-15 is documented. Wicked souls. When two brothers fight over inheritance, it is the stranger who takes their father's house. They sabotaged this country's sovereignty back then and look at where we are today. Jonathan was so hit, and I didn't support him but you will think the critics were any better. No, they are worse. That's why they are cowards. They got the power and abused it. When Jonathan said they were bitter, you will think this was election sound bites but listen to it again, he is so right:

Jonathan Slams APC, Says There's "Bitterness In Thier Hearts"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32aKgc0j0Ws

APC is a disgraced party for using Remi Tinubu to play the Trump card. If PDP tried this back then, they would have screamed red murder.

They are the realest definition of hypocrites.

Mrs Tinubu traveling when people are killed back home, her husband going AWOL in January when people were killed. All of these they would have never accepted if PDP was in power. They cried foul when Jonathan traveled to Brazil and said he was a trainee president who didn't care about us. Look at them today.

If you listen to her interview, she still made it about herself. She will make diplomatic blunders that will put this government into more trouble and Trump will come harder for you.

I saw this comment online and it just captures my thoughts on the recent efforts of propaganda using Mrs Tinubu.

Begining of comment 

Mrs Tinubu has no official role in this government and I am surprised no one is calling her out as ACN/CPC and civil society did when they were in opposition. Mrs Tinubu is only the wife of the President. She cannot order the armed forces, sign any executive decisions or pass laws even if she was a former lawmaker. The Tinubu government should be bold enough to use our institutions and stop hiding behind shadows in dealing with the US. They know these tactics because they too use it in their politics. What is Tinubu afraid of? Buhari met Trump. Yar Adua met Bush. Obasanjo met Clinton. What is Tinubu afraid of?

If Tinubu passes away like Yar Adua did as President, Mrs Tinubu will not take over like Turai, she will leave and let the number 2 man come in. If Mrs Tinubu passes like Stella did, the Presidency will go on like normal and they will recognize a day or two for personal mourning. I don't know why we never learn from history. Pump this money you are using for propaganda into our institutions. We have well qualified people who can do this work, stop going through the corners.

End of comment

This is a BIG HUGE DISGRACE to Nigeria. APC has failed beyond measure. Cowards.

There's no way they want to spin this story even if Tinubu meets King Charles, the people who colonized us. He goes to France more than Macron visits us. What is he running from? I thought this was something they abused Atiku for, saying that he used Saraki's diplomatic immunity to go to US when he eventually went to the US. Mr President, in international diplomacy, equals meet equals. You are our President, abi you no be jagaban again

APC touts the data that Nigeria is the most educated group in the US and they say our president needs to travel for so-called foreign investors. Why is he so scared of the US? It's a cowardly behaviour to put your wife that has no role in international diplomacy when you are the leader. The first family


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd2rlCOO3bs


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIVzzccJyHE


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4Cn47ePFAU

Mirasteel:
I thought guns are prohibited in Canada? too bad.

May those that are dead may their souls rest in peace.

It's the same thing in Nigeria. For some reason, we have Gunmen in Nigeria

Copied the wrongest behavior from the USA.

Mbanda:
Why is the picture in black and white and, what is the model of the car in that picture?

The photographer is Sunmi Smart-Cole and it was published in a BBC story in the picture below (2019). Look for it and see everything in the story. They were all black and white.

He has taken many of the most recognizable family portraits of the Obasanjos, including a historic 1979 photo of the family at the time of Obasanjo's first handover of power from military to civilian rule. Smart-Cole was chosen to accompany then-President-elect Obasanjo on a 28-country tour before his inauguration. This journey was intended to restore Nigeria's international image, and Smart-Cole captured historic images from the trip, including Obasanjo's meeting with U.S. President Bill Clinton at the White House.

You can learn more about him here


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUc5lV97-S0



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l86SXTQ_010

Baawaa:
This poster is a mumu,this is not 1998,show the picture to your daddy and he will tell you the year

ZombieDredd:
This is not 1998

Because Nigerians do not like to give credit to sources they use and they are not punished enough for plagiarism in schools, they do not understand the need to reference and reference properly. Attribution doesn't take anything away from you.

AMINDA:
Who else have noticed that threads from Reno and FFK now have all comments on the first page from obviously sponsored trolls and bot accounts? Is this how they intend to show Tinubu that they are working and deserve the ambassadorial posting? They definitely need to do than this.

They wait for you to sleep at night then open their cyber cafe to load the comments. When you wake up, you think the opinions of the common man has changed. Weak propaganda. Truth does need PR. IYKYK

World class restroom?🚽

I don't normally insult people but I must say, you guys are nuts with this description of a 🚾

Shit business is serious business - Late Otunba Gadaffi 🪦

I advise everyone to watch this interview and educate themselves. It is so sad that we have more wrong information than correct information and we are not hearing from the experts in charge.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhfhzUheH40


We have the world's leading expert on treating snake bites yet no one has heard from him. E are hearing bloggers and uneducated people talking about snake bites. Chai

Prettychild:
If catering for the family is what makes you a man and good father, then that’s a shame. I know many women who do that too does it now make them a man/good father?

Many women who are the providers? You are indeed a pretty child...