₦airaland Forum

yunglegend99:
I always tell people "No one is born an introvert or extrovert" it all started from childhood(from age 0 to atleast 10) your personality has already developed. It is as a result of the people around you, the way they relate with you, the kind of environment you grew up from will have alot of impact on your personality. Introversion usually starts from an unhappy child, a child whose needs were not been met especially needs of love, care and attention. A child who is constantly critisized may end been an introvert, the child may feel unworthy of love especially if these word were coming from their parents or guardians. As a child we believe whatever we are told, so constantly critisizing a child, using harsh words and abuses the child starts to see himself that way. That is the begining of low self esteem, anxiety and shyness which will definitely lead to introversion even if the individual tries to change

I can't agree less..I am a very good example of this. I grew up with my step mom and Dad.. My step mom finds fault virtually in everything I do, always criticizing I and my siblings and my Dad is the busy type not always around.It really has effect on me now that I have low self esteem, lack self confidence and of course it affected my relationship with people right from secondary school to tertiary institution days..So many times I have tried to withdraw myself from the traits that introverts exhibits but I just can't. I really wish and hope I can change and relate with people more often.. And of course I forgot to add that I have constantly been dealing with anxiety disorder..

Fairview1:
Bros, we are in this together, hence my signature below...but mine isn't as bad as you described yours. I am an introvert, a meclancholy with a reclusive personality as well.

Initially, I finds it very difficult to engage people in a long convo, even when I manage and successfully start one, sometime along the line I end up not knowing what next to talk about, or probably end up shooting myself on the leg.

It may be because English wasn't my primary language, I was born and bred in a remote village, where english as a means of communication is an alien stuff. We revere and diginify anyone who speaks english effortless until when I stepped outside of my comfort zone.

Now these were what I did which I believe boosted my communication skills and that also make me a better conversation holder, at least to some considerable extent....not that I am in anyway a good speaker or conversationist but I am better off today and I have this strong hope i will keep on getting better in time to come.


Being that I had discovered my weakness on the area of communication and speaking skill, I made sure that I am going to make friends with whoever that speaks, writes and converses well...both here on Nairaland, Facebook, LinkedIn, Offline; at the Workplace, School, in the Church, YouTube, in a Cab, anywhere!

The world is like a world unto another, it didn't take time I began making friends with my friend's friends. That alone opened a whole lot of other opportunities for me...and that was how I managed to broaden my vocabulary, grammar, syntax etcetera.

The yardstick to which I use to measure my progress is when people call, tag, quote or mention me on a post, to seek for my opinion on any topic of discourse. I wasn't that way before. I practically built myself in that direction with a conscious and tireless effort to get better.


Through the people whom I have met and discussed my challenge with, some suggested that I should enroll for Toastmasters Club which I did and also engaged myself in so many other different social gatherings. Don't forget, that I always listen with a rapt attention, to learn why they act and talk the way they do.


In a nutshell, to get bettet at communication, there are only two guaranteed ways;

~Learn to become knowledgeable about few things and talk about them always.

Or

~Learn to know little about too many topics and talk about them always with steady questions and inquiries.

If you can master the act of doing this very well, you wlll make yourself good friends and opportunities with preceeds them afterwards.

Hope this helped?

Many thanks for this piece