₦airaland Forum

I am something, lighter than air but ten thousand soldiers cannot pull me even with there horses and charriots.
What am i

Ekaette: if i knew that you were this poor, i wouldn't have married you in the first place.
Akpors: when i was telling you that you are the only thing i have, what did you think i was talking about

Plz u nid 2 help me if u can...i wantd 2 post som funy pix but i can only find space to post 4...pleaz can u help me?

Tanx 4 commentin.
Plz fellow NL's.....as u're viewin...try nd coment or evn hit de like button..and may God bless U as u do dis.

Lol....somtimez im go do beta...nd somtimez....u'll knw it'z realy Akpors

Please, If you see Ojukwu, tell him that hisbrothers and sisters are experiencing another Pogrom in Kano.
Tell Awolowo that Nigeria is preparing for another war.
Tell Zik that those thingsthat made him cross theocean 50 times seeking for peace is looming again.
Tell Yar'Adua that the amnesty he granted is causing wahala.
Tell Tafewa Balewa that his scions are carrying weapons against Nigeria.
Obviously you will not see Abacha but if you see any one that will seehim, tell him that Almustapha is still in kirikiri prison and of course Alamesiyea has been released.
Tell MKO Abiola that another June 12 is looming and tell him that Nigeria's officials have extended to convicted criminals who are looting the nation dry.
Don't be disappointed on Nigeria dear Achebe just that THINGS HAS FALLEN APART, NIGERIA IS NO LONGER AT EASE AND THE ARROW OF GODIS NOW POINTING SERIOUSLY @ NIGERIA, BECAUSE OF THE TROUBLE WITH NIGERIA, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE HAD A MAN OF THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU; INDEED THERE WAS A COUNTRY.

Arrested along Isaac Ajisegiri werehis mother, Florence and sister,Esther for the murder of Endurance by the Lagos State Police Command.
It was gethered that Endurance was killed on Saturday at her home located at 1,Ajani Salawu Street, Shasha, Lagos State.
According to policeauthority, Endurance was slit in the throat with a knife in her kitchen.
In his word, Caleb Agbobonye, late Endurance’s brother, the marriage was fraught with troubles before the couple reconciled recently.
Caleb said, “They have been marriedfor about four years and they hada child together. They also run an education consulting firm nottoo far from their house.”
However, trouble began when Isaac was accused by Endurance of having extra marital affair with one of their employees. The issue was fought over for qiute some time. They later reconciled and Endurance moved back into the house.
Agbobonye said that one Stanley, Isaac’s friend, came to pick Endurance from the office on Saturday, that some members of her husband wanted to see her at the house concerning a dispute.
But on Sunday morning, according to Agbobonye, Stanley called Endurance’s relatives to inform them about her death and that herbody had been taken to Crystal Hospital.
From Shahsa police station, the case was transfered to StateCriminal Investigation Department, Yaba. Isaac maintained that Edurance killed herself, adding that on theday of the incident, she was acting crazy and would not listen topleas from the family.
While police confirmed that Stanley was at large and that investigation is till on the case, the case is been handled by the Project Alert on ViolenceAgainst Women.

Plz felow Nairalanders.... I hate wen 1 post a funy thread like dis nd gets no coments nor like.
I tell ya...dats not gud 4 a starter like me.
Plz try nd coment or evn like 2 keep de poster's spirit up nd on.

YOU KNOW IT'S A NAIJA MOVIE WHEN...(Continu­ation...)
Add urs:
~ Chief is inside the car with the glasses windup, armed robbers attack and shoots at chief,the bullet won't break the glass but will kill chief inside the car..:
How come ??
~ A man shoots himself on the head 3 times...Habaaa !!!!!!!
How in the world is thatpossible?
~ RMD remembering when he was still 7 years old as far back as 1960 and suddenly a HUMMER passes in front of him....... Chinekeee
~ Patience Ozokwor poisons Zark Orji's food.
She stirs the poison so that it will circulate to all parts of the meal andthen she tastes it.
Zack Orji dies while she survives. Nawaa oo
~ Someone flashes back to 1982 and behind himis a sign board "Vote for Goodluck" Hmmmm
~ A 7year old character is washing plates and hesuddenly becomes an adult in his 20's stillwashing the same plates and wearing the same trousers...
~ Omotola is depicted asa poor woman suffering in the village and has to do serious farm work to survive, only for you to see that her fingernails are fixed with long plastic nails and painted crimson red.
~ Tonto Dike acting a born again village girl, yet has tattoos on her body.
~ Someone dies with low cut and his spirit comes back wearing afro... Na wetin?
~ A woman suddenly decides to poison her husband, then she opens her food cabinet and brings out the substance.
Is poison part of cookingingredients?
~ They shoot you on theleg yet blood start coming out from your nose.
~ John Okafor(Ibu) is thefather of Nkem Owoh.. Biko who is older?
~ You must cough before you die...?Lolzz
Keep it rolling...

It wil also take de 5 eggs 20 minz to boil

yea u got it right Valicious

Stil waitin 4 ur ansas o

If 5 Monkeys finish 5 bunch of Banana in 5 Minutes, How long will ittake 2 Monkeys to finish
2 bunch?
Let the Answer Starts Rolling in...

A female teacher was having a
problem with Akpos in her class of
3rd grade.
Akpos said M'am, I should b in
4th grade, I'm smarter than my sis
& she's in 4th grade.
The M'am {Teacher} had heard
enough of his complains& took
Akpos 2 the Principal's office.
She explained everything 2 the
Principal who decided 2 test
Akpos with some questions that a4th
grade should know.
Principal- What's 3+3?
Akpos- 6
Principal- 6+6?
Akpos- 12
& so on..
The Principal asked the boy many
ques and Akpos got them right.
The Principal then askedM'am 2
send Akpos 2 4th grade.
M'am decided 2 ask some more
questions & the Principal agreed.
M'am- What does a cow have 4
of, that I've only 2 of?
Akpos- Legs
M'am- What's in ur pants that u
have but I dont have?
Akpos- Pockets
M'am- What starts wit a C & ends
with T, is hairy, oval, delicious &
contains thin whitish liquid?
Akpos- Coconut
M'am- What goes in hard & pink
then comes out soft & sticky?
The principal's eyes open really
wide, but b4 he could stop the
answer, the boy was taking charge.
Akpos- Bubble Gum
M'am- U stick ur poles inside me. U
tie me down 2 get me up, I get wet
b4 u do. What am I?
Akpos: Tent
The principal was looking restless
M'am- A finger goes in me. U fiddle
with me when u're bored. The best
man always has me 1stnwhat am
I?
Akpos- Wedding Ring
M'am- I come in many sizes. When
I'm not well, I drip. When u blow
me, u feel good?
Akpos- Nose
M'am- I've a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates, I come with a quiver
Akpos- Arrow
M'am- What starts wit 'F'& ends
with a 'K' & if u dont get it, u've 2
use ur hand?
Akpos - Fork
M'am- Whats it that all men
have, it's longer in somemen than
others, the Pope doesn'tuse his & a
man gives it 2 his wife after
marriage?
Akpos- Surname
M'am- What part of the man has no
bone, but has muscles with a lot of
veins like pumpin & is responsible4
making love?
Akpos- Heart
The principal breathed asigh of
relief & told the teacher Send
Akpos 2 University, I gotthe last
10 questions wrong myself!
How Many Like For Akpos .
Plz am new here....if its funny....help click the like buton or if possible....u cn comment.

Madam beky was a rich yoruba woman
hu lack nufin.one day she was about 2
bath she went 2 her bathroom
immidiately she removes her cloth her
phone rang she came out with towel
nd it was he neigbour papa emeka, papa emeka;pls beky my son is at d
hospital the need#20000 2 start
operation at once, beky;take dis it is #
25000 ,.papa emeka;tanx. She went
back 2 bath nd her phone rang again
she cm out again with towel nd it was mama chiboy. Mama chiboy;beky abeg
help me with 5000,beky;take dis it is
7000,dnt pay bk, mama chiboy;tanx
ma... She took her phonewit her 2
bathroom immiedatly her phone rang
again it was her neigbour okey the blind man hu was blind since 30yrs.
Beky;okey cum in,she cm out naked
cos okey cannot see,okey haw far said
beky... Okey;madam i came 2 tell u dat
my oppresion was successful and i can
naw see....lols

Teacher: akpos what's the opposite of laughing?
Akpos: f*cking ma!
Teacher: how's that?
Akpos: laughing is ha haha & f*cking is ah ah ah

Plz i tried 2 post som picturs....buh ah cudn't see dem afta postin it....plz cn u be of help?

Ndyoo: akpos akpos...lwkmd

tanx dude....ma first like on NL goin to u..tanx 4 comentin.

Ndyoo: akpos akpos...lwkmd

tanx dude....ma first like on NL goin to u..tanx 4 comentin.

Plz am new on NL o....so 4 any1 viewin....try nd atleast coment 2 keep de spirit on.

The story of Akpors season one
Intro.....
Akpors is someone who attends a party because he saw RSVP on the invitation card and thought it means RICE & STEW VERY PLENTY....
EPISODE ONE..
TITLE:Akpors in school.
A teacher lecturing on population said 'In the world, after every 10 seconds, a woman gives birth to a child.' Akpors stood up and said 'we must find and stop her!'
Teacher: The first son of Adam was named?
Akpors: Adamu.
Teacher: Akpors, assuming you were at a bus stop and boko-haram throws a bomb. What will you do?
Akpors: i will jux stop assuming…..
Teacher; what is a verb?
Akpors; a verb is a valve in a bicycle tyre
Teacher; what are u sayin?
Akpors; its a complete sentence sir.
Teacher; are u mad?
Akpors; its a question sir
.
Teacher; dont be stupid
Akpors; its an advice sir
.
Teacher; stop that nonsence!
Akpors; its a command sir
Teacher; U are an idiot
Akpors; its an insult sir
Teacher; get out of my class!
Akpors; its an order sir
Teacher; oh goodness!,,, what a boy!,,,
Akpors; its an exclamation sir
Teacher; may God hav mercy on U
Akpors; its a prayer sir
….
the teacher fainted!!

Hahahahahaha....dis Akpors sef...dem stil neva find im cure?....e too bad o.

Lyzbet: Are you sure this is true?

Ah dn't evn knw wat 2 say 2 dis thread...criously prayin its jux a rumor....wait o...do u knw wats dis....its sendin cold shivers down my spine [color=#000099][/color]

fittty: Write a letter to Seun. Include your full name; Mothers maiden name; contact details; scanned copy of Nepa bills with a current passport size photograph and scanned National ID card... And then wait for the next 72hrs

Pls be serious fitty...realy...am nw here nd ah cn't dn't knw hw 2 post anytin...cn't u help?

gree-die:
i didn't bedwet

ah feel ah shud say dat too bt ah dn't knw weda ah did dat 1 or 2 timez...bt ah must av stopd at a vewy early stage...so ah cn't realy say

Bimfo: They are so xo xo xo Poor in Everything!!!! This Can't be the Future Footballers of Nigeria!!!!

They outplayed the malians bt wat we need ar winnings, not fancy games, this is nt a frendly..they shud knw dat...anyway...i wish dem de best of luck in der games.

Goldie20: My Gf Is Hotter

Na dat kitchen gal abi u don get anoda 1

Nice shots...realy enjoyin der honeymoon

Dibiachukwu: What are igbo senators doing in the senate. Put pressure on fg for guarded relocation and call for a referendum in the south east. We are tired of Nigeria. We want an igbo only country.

you ar right bt do u knw hw much it wil cost u 2 import ur major fuds like yam and fruits 4rm de north or dn't u put dat in2 consideration? ...wat a country

Ah can't realy tel wats wrong wit dez northeners.
Plz we dn't want anoda civil war in dis country o..wat evn baflez me is wer dey get doz nuclear weapons 4rm cos i knw dat nt all of dem ar localy made.
Wat de government shud do is to demobilize dem by findin der root suply of dez nuclear weaponz nd bring a stp 2 der importation b4 any oda tin folowz.

I like the hair do, its great.
Also love seeing him play but not against my club, he's a poisonous viper.
Just two times we have met since he left in 2009 and he'd showed ur the way out of the champions league.

musiwa22: Do you people live in the north,I want to test if you understand hausa by Musiwa

what does this mean Zo kai bini.

must u ask that here abi u jux wana talk