₦airaland Forum

[quote author=D.Ella.luv]Chim o....u r so so funny[/quote]lol....na God oo.....u are welcome my dear..i hope you follow up

prettyrikky: guy our class members go murder u ooooo. hey I don laff tire

Which muder go pass the one wey dem go protest for anti cult office..no b die i dey

Clemzy16: This story is getting more tight. Kudos and more updates

Clemzy baba oo....thanks for d observation
Welcome bak

adegwurulez: lwtmb...dis guy yhu be case.

Portfolio?? Or suit case? Eh ade com nd ansa oo

Lol!! Two headed monster..lol ur pastor on sunday for.use u shine........btwn yankee no.b cyprus..y u yarn so?

i walked into the lecture class...yes lecture class even though we call it garuba square...an open arena where cars and buses fly by when we are having lectures...
just like the early roman gladiatory fights...we seat round while recieving lectures..dont know what my department did to the Vc shaa...but thats our condition.....

i walked into the lecture class a.k.a garuba square a.k.a roman theatre....
everyone was walking past me...nawa oo all those year one girls that used to giggle and point at me once i am passing by...as per fine boy things,none was looking ...no no no! they must look at me oo
i stepped back and change my walk formation from 4-4-3 to 4-4-2 what are you not telling me.....still no one looked..mtscheew no one needed to tell me that my silly lump squared was at work....

....and my radio was still playing in my ear but this time around the music changed to phyno ft. olamide "ghostmode" ndiala!! ndiala! le le ..nekwa fa!
i dare not sing along with it or one bad thing will happen again.
i quickly slapped my pockets and it responded and thw radio stopped immediately..
thats how i automatically end my phone operation without
much wahala....
i know my phone and my phone knows me kinda thing....

Vee! na you wey i no recognize?! ezzie asked.....

ezzie who just like lucas's male dogs was a man LovePeddler...a LovePeddler with class shaa...na women dey findam come...

ezzie hafar nah i said...
guy why u come get double lump for head....chai! he hissed
guy leave that one...where are our class members na i asked, curious...cos i could see no one.
hmmm ezzie continued...na you they chatter bus go make them protest for your release..we got information say the boys are good hold you for detention...

oh no! do they want to implicate me? this boys wil think i have revolted against them...but anyway shaa thanks for the update ezzie i said.

as he turned to leave...something entered my mind immediately...a question!

ezzie! wait oo ....if they went for protest then what are you doing here!? i asked

washing and setting! he hailed my nickname and was laughing furiously...guy! so me that dont even know what to eat this afternoon will pay for bus to go and protest for you? Mtscheew...

Truth be told...if i was in detention and people went to protest for my release and i see ezzie!! I will choose to stay back at the anticult office cos there must have been a conspiracy....me and ezzie hate ourselves and thats why we are friends..(dont ask me..i dont even understand what that means) i guess we understood our hate...

I was headed home...i have had enough for one day...
And guess who i saw Near my personal beans and oil joint i saw carolina!

Caro!! I screamed!.e don be for you (shouted with all the vex i could muster).........

prettyrikky: hey oga vee u no go kill person oooo

this one yu too wan die... …

new update coming up

Clemzy16: I'm enjoying your story but i don't understand your characters and plot. Please try to make your updates explicit.

aiite bro..will do...stay glued dont forget to ask me what you dont understand

Fonydear: I wonder what could be the problem, send another one pls.
Smoothvee abeg no kill me with laugh *first lady*

pls dont die yet oo..who go come read the story finish nah...lol

folly65: Lol.. Thumbs up.. Can't forget d day vc slapped one of d anti cult guys in front of girls hostel.. I laugh dem tire ehh..nice..keep 'em coming

heheheehe asiin eh.....he can fall their hands anyhow.u lucky they didnt catch u laffin

they say that if it was this generation that moses existed
then wahala for dey at the crossing of the red sea...some
people will be snapping and posting pics on facebook..chilling things,hanging with moses etc.


those who said that were not wrong at all........
they could just have added that some people like magnus and philip will argue till the water swallows them up...
maggi(magnus) put your money..this water so no dey up philip would say..
u dey mad! i tell you say the water dey up before...this red sea wey we dey cross now is just horizontally vertical ...magnus will blab...
its true my brother philip will echo in..but put your money moses no dey facebook..if atall say him dey,then him no get facebook page! etc
thats how they will argue till they drown!

up in the air i almost brought out my phone to change the radio
station to a cooler song so i could chill more.....next thing i heard was gbom!!!

the kind of pain i felt in my bum bum was nothing to write home about....
i heard some guy screamin.....'get him down!
hmmm is it me that is down already that
someone wants to get down...ok na
i was staggering to my feet to ginger the devil out of them,
who get mind pack me commot ground!! i shouted,
i was still seeing dust that covered the atmosphere which was as a result of the thud i landed with..
when i could see clearly....what i saw...my heart failed me..

two guys with pump action..chai! is this how washington aka washing and setting finished his carreer?!
we called this guys.."the boy is good"
they were the anti-cult people.
confession:i fear this guys morethan lucas's dog spike.i swear!
they dont have joy...atall!

wetin you do this girl!! the one with the smaller chest asked?
hmmmm...if vc catch you speaking pidgin to me eh,you have entered oo i said to him, trying to figure out my next move.
but truth be told,the way our vc...honourable Vc Egboka dey take slap anti cult eh....make me fear him more than everything in that school..if they dont tok in their shirts or the anti cults speak pidgin then thats trouble.....

the guy with the bigger chest came close to me and i couldnt let him give me the finishing touch..ive studied all their moves with my experience in school....
brother anti-cult i said....i did not do anything
i just turned to see who called me and she called my name and fainted...
oya come..you will write statement at the admin block(their office) the guy with the small chest said...and he then commanded the big chested guy to put me inside thier car...

i turned around to see caro....carolina was no where to be found....how did she disappear and she didnt even care to vindicate me...
did you ever wonder why everybody vanished?
c'mon..voooom!! is better than to write statement..no one wanted to be a witness.
mtscheew caro e no go better for you oo! i thought aloud as i recieved a heavy knock that sent me into the car.


the unizik special hot sun was already up as i staggered out of the office of the anti cult..
the last words the brief chested anti cult guy said to me inside the office still rang in my head like my secondary school bell... (a broken tire wheel hung on a tree) F.G.C niise..i hail oo

"guy that girl carolina is my baby girl dont try nonsense with her,u hear me?
yes brother anti-cult i grinned...
"and if i catch you near her count yourself a dead man...he screamed again
okay i said...
"dont say okay without my telling you to say okay...okay?he shouted
i replied okay sir.

now outside the office i cursed the big chested anti cult guy for letting that small one send him message anyhow...mtscheew..nonsense...now i will have to waste money going back to my department....
and then face another round of explanation about my lump which now has another lump on top of it..all thanks to uncle anti cult...

i silently wished lucas's dog will bite off their right balls

and caro cannot out run me...hmm that number is a must now...she owes me an explanation..

bus!! permsite! ......................i tuned my radio to rhythm 95.5 fm awka and they where jamming "badoo baddest guy ever liveth-durosoke'

our bus zoomed off!

typin.........

kingphilip: i'm back again.....see enough cobwebs and cockroaches don full this thread because update no de plenty

BTW fonydear come on go and reply my mail

yebaaa!!! una don trigger me.....una go run...lol ok na

folly65: Lol.. Smooth darl, i everly go dey by ur side na..but na #ghostmode tinz sha

happy u still here....but if i start writing in ghost kwan ? lol

kingphilip, m003, clemzy , obstead, soulminlover,folly......
where una dey na i dey vex oo.......nid u guus bak...
my second first lady no even gree show.

Fonydear: Great work so far Vee, your 1st lady still dey here kampae

my 1st lady...baby i kept wondering where u disappeared to ooo.....no commot again oo...show me luv baby!

adegwurulez: Guy you funny. Thank God say i no read this thing inside church, na so i for laugh my pastor go think say na evil spirit.

lol... ade as ur update dey take crack me up..i think u get evil spirit..how u go pass person palour to bathroom?! hahahahaha,e beta as u no laff oo...pastor for use u shine.

[quote author=Sn@ke eyes]Guy man, I don vex. Wen I hear my name for da previous episode I no talk but now wey u dey beef my dogs u don enter. God help u if u eva enter my house ma pitbul is gonna castrate ur fine boy johnson..[/quote]lmao! i don die! no b so oo bros..na play oo! no vex..
but wait..that pitbull wey u just talk about...na dat one wey u say b ur carbon copy?

adegwurulez: bros my number dey signature

hahahahaa very necessary like caro bakyard...u too much boss

dedicated to victory...my new born nephew who came into the world today... thank God>>

yey!!! carolina! caro! carolina!
i just turned oo..innocently and she fainted just like that..hmmm
anyways its better than to start explaining ''how she dey give me every morning" and how "she dey fire pass motor" my evil twin inside my head thought quickly,i will have to stop singing songs out oo...it lands me in trouble alot!!

but why should caro faint by this time of the day nah,and the worst is that its in front of the school gate (ifite permanent site road) that she fainted.
oh lord! no no.....nobody could decipher why i was shouting...
oh caro oo! why now eh! why..chai!

i was thinking about a possible reason why she had to faint even though thats not the reason for my shouting...
is caro epileptic?? but their is no foam in her mouth nah
asthma?? no no no....it cant be,she is not asthmatic(..though caro is ASSmathic shaa..she carry...)

atleast if she was asthmatic she would have been gasping for breath and nodding her head like the legendary lizard that jumped down from a height and saw no one to praise it and it began nodding and praising itself....

just then our school bus ran past me and interrupted my thoughts....i looked at the mirror of the bus,
oh darn!!...i saw a clue...
.......................MY LUMP,that stupid lump scared caro to unconciousness,i looked like godzilla...a very ugly one....like one of lucas's dog called spike) that dog ugly no be here oo... spike doesnt need to bark before you run my sistser..if spike smile at you...its ugliness will make you think about the chunk of meat it will remove from your body.

how would caro give a godzilla her number...see how this thing want to spoil my plans..."caro if u like faint oo if u like sleep..i must get your number"

i was still in thoughts when i just blinked i saw myself in the air......is this rapture!?

i felt i was chilling up in the air(almost thought about ordering an ice cream...nourisha fast food ice cream precisely,una know as e dey sweet nah)...but then what followed suit was .................#dumb

i looked around still in the air....i saw caro's body 7feet below me and no one else was there.......am dead!!!

could it be that.............

a short one....will still put up another this night if you guys react well to this.
COMMENTS

<<<<TO BE CONTINUED>>>

adegwurulez: better come continue before i vex o... funny guy

brother..lol omo eh...if comments no dey come na frustration oo...but thanx man...i decided to shoot on! if it gets hot peeps will come.

Sleekbaby: D greatest zikite, i dey ur back, u dey represent we d zikites wella, ride on.

adegwurulez: better come continue before i vex o... funny guy

babe u welkom love....greatest gwo gwo! i wil kip up the fire

apologies for the late update...was kinda busy...i hope u enjoy this.

back to reality>>>>>>>>>

oloye! Patricks voice brought me
back from my thoughts... arrober hope say you no dey think say na me
jam you enter gutter! Patrick muttered.....
in a flash i remembered my bible
passage "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth
speaketh"....

i didnt intend letting patrick know of my strong conviction that it must have been him or someone he setup that disgraced me that night.....but i couldnt hold it any longer!

"satan punish you patrick!! you think i dont know! i will kill you today" unfortunately i was thinking of how i will deal with patrick in my mind, as i was looking at patrick lie to my face....i wasnt ready for another bad guy episode that occurred yesternight,so i had to relax first,
magnus came and payed the hospital bill and before you know it we where headed home...

i chose to call it a hospital even though it was a chemist shop, knowing that i couldnt afford a hospital..but as a big boy i had to lie to myself so i can convince others that i was admitted to the hospital,how washing and setting go go chemist nah...never!.


the chemist shop had only few equipments... iodine, cotton wool,scissors and jerusalem balm...then vitamin C, Adamu dey try sha....he was a megard/aboki at one of the hostels in my street with a small wooden shop where he sells biscuit and cigar with purewater only! and still worked some hospital magic,
and that was the only reason magnus agreed to pay oo..if not they will abandon me if it were to be a real hospital .


its now time to think of what to say to my coursmates,because the lump on my head was nothing to write home about...
everytime i looked at the mirror and saw that lump...i cursed patrick and plotted my deep dark revenge ,and the mirror am talking about here is one cracked small mirror that i picked from the downstairs of my lodge(will explain later)....i dont know how the mirror did it you know but it gave my lump a new look! the lump appears extra large when i look directly into the mirror and if i look from the side..my brother!! i cant see my face..just the huge lump and my mouth at the front of the lump....

this morning was different....the mirror performed a miracle,
the lump was appearing and disappearing even when i did not move the mirror...and my image in the mirrow was grining at me and i could see the meaning of the look..i felt it was saying (God don punish you today,yeye boy,come go school na..u go explain kill yourself) i wondered when i began to beef myself.....

immediately a thought came into my mind.....................
"punch the mirror"!! that guy for mirror dey enter you anyhow u come leavam......i dey craze!? i asked my self....i could bear to go to school with a lump but not a wounded hand....the hand i planned to collect caro's number with today....

so i was thinkin to myself which reason will i give......
1a* i rescued a girl from two guys that wanted to rape her
1b* beating 5 guys would look more realistic and tough
2a* i fell from a bike but i risked my life to safe the bike man but a car now hit me
3* i fought with three anti-cult guys......actually wanted to use sars but my course mates may provoke because of the lie and beat me ,which will worsen my condition.


among all this reasons.....it was just one person that i owed a real explanation..and that is carolina my girlfriend.....
sorry my girlfriend to be...i arranged myself and left for school..........

i picked up my nokia 2626 and began playin the radio,this time i was almost at the school gate...."caro" by wizkid was playing,i always felt attached to the song because of my beautiful carolina(the girl i plan to ask out)....

i joined the radio chorusin...

caro carry leave story ahhh leave story...
caro dey fire pass motor....
caro dey fire pass ferarri ...
caro dey give me every morning...
caro dey do she no dey tire....
eh! am lookin for ca...

before i could complete "ro" a voice said...
hmmm washingnton!!! i fire pass motor abi!! foolish boy...
so this is what you go around tellin everybody abi!......

i turned around and i felt my jaw drop! gbege!

washington! she screamed my name and fainted.......>>>>>

<<<<To Be Continued>>>>

Typin.....uploading soon!

Joanee: following

U r welcome my dear

Tyt one comrade...finally this work no easy ooo

folly65: zikite in d building..fony? I'm d second 1st lady ..smoothvee..i see u.. Viewing dat thread..#following

Hehehehe folly u welcome mamamia! Unizik gaint i see u miss...didnt know we still get fine girls oo.
Cos that uni stress na die! U welcome love